Had the house to myself for the entire night. I tried callin' friends over but, everyone was busy or "might" come over. Ended up getting drunk by myself for the first time and became quite sad, depressed, and violent. An alarm wasn't turned off so I woke up at 6:30 am with 6 hours of sleep (around 12:00 I passed out on my bed mumbling about my hatred for life at the moment.)
Now I sit here, still alone, hung over, dry, with no friends, and simply just waiting for people to come home only for me to continue to sit here...
I've realized simply acting nice and happy all the time isn't good enouph for me. I've been forcing myself to be positive since the end of July, ignoring the bad, fixing drama quick without fully fixing it, and overall lieing to myself, my feelings, and my heart. Acting like this can bring you happyness and make you loved, but it's not the kind of happyness and love I'm after.
I have a good hobby, I'm fine with my life, I'm in Uni and "going somewhere", I have lots of friends and lots of places to chill... but I still don't have the one thing that matters to me - someone who I can hold at night, someone who I can talk to about whats bugging me, someone who says "Everythings gonna be okay." to me for a chance.
Yeah I smoked some resin I scrapped from one of my bowls here and had to get these feelings out and this forums always helped. :3