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Sex with Jessica Alba!

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MR-HOMO
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Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:22 AM Reply

OK, so you've won a game show. The prize? Sex.

With Alba. Jessica Alba.

HOT!

But there's a catch. You can't just have straight up sex with her. There are options.

A) Sex with Jessica Alba's dead body.

B) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Gene Hackman.

C) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Rob Schneider.

D) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but afterwards she cuts your head off.

E) Sex with Jessica Alba, but she's in a coma.

F) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't get an erection.

G) Sex with Jessica Alba, but from the moment it's done you're rendered completely blind and mute.

H) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you're physically on fire the entire time.

I) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you accidentally trip and tear your penis in half.

J) Sex with Jessica Alba, but your parents are watching.

What would you choose? I may add some other options later on.

Of course, there is the option to not have sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't substitute her for another person. You sickos.

bigexplosions
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:25 AM Reply

H.

Because I'm used to fire.


sockpuppetclock

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ulumuluguy
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:25 AM Reply

e of course, common sense i guess
but i dont think shes hot so id rather not have secks wit her

The-Real-Giovanni
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:25 AM Reply

I would choose zzxcvcb because thats cooler


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Mind-Edge
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:26 AM Reply

lolo J.

Enoll
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:27 AM Reply

J beacuse I wouldn't care.
I'd donkey punch her.


R.I.P LIVECORPSE

DarkDragonVX
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:27 AM Reply

haha E?


I'm the only pretty boy on NewGrounds!

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kidray76
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:35 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:22 AM, Clunes wrote: OK, so you've won a game show. The prize? Sex.

With Alba. Jessica Alba.

HOT!

But there's a catch. You can't just have straight up sex with her. There are options.

A) Sex with Jessica Alba's dead body.

Other optoins are better. Besides, rotting carcuss probably wouldn't feel good.


B) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Gene Hackman.

Sure, I can go first.


C) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Rob Schneider.

Shit, sounds good to me. I'm down for that.


D) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but afterwards she cuts your head off.

Umm, no. No pussy is that good to die for.


E) Sex with Jessica Alba, but she's in a coma.

Naw, no fun in that.


F) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't get an erection.

Then it's not sex for me then?


G) Sex with Jessica Alba, but from the moment it's done you're rendered completely blind and mute.

Doens't mean I can't nut just the same. And it's only for a moment.


H) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you're physically on fire the entire time.

No, it would hurt.


I) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you accidentally trip and tear your penis in half.

No sex for me. So no.


J) Sex with Jessica Alba, but your parents are watching.

No, just no.


NG Review Moderator // Pm me for Review Abuse

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Rabid-Echidna
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:37 AM Reply

J, so they can witness firsthand one of my greatest achievements.


My art gallery, because I'm better than you at things.

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DumbassDude
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:38 AM Reply

E, because she is not dead and she wont complain.


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iscrulz
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:40 AM Reply

F.) So I can eat her out. then make her suckle on my drooping cook until she chokes on it.


£5 man slut for hire. Inquire within

Wi/Ht? #45

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Whooter
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:41 AM Reply

Most definately E.

MR-HOMO
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:44 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:37 AM, Rabid wrote: J, so they can witness firsthand one of my greatest achievements.

Winner.

DJWhiteRice
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:44 AM Reply

F, because...I'm female.

MR-HOMO
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:46 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:44 AM, DJWhiteRice wrote: F, because...I'm female.

You know, there's also an option to just not have sex with Alba. But cool, ignore that option, it's hotter that way.

Obliquo
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:47 AM Reply

J, so my parents can witness the greatest thing ever achieved by man.

Makaveli
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:50 AM Reply

J. Because.. I don't really care...

Silver-Glint
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:53 AM Reply

B.. Because I can't get an erection..

Why did I take part in this? *shakes head*

You can be a paedo to me any time - Amaranthus

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MR-HOMO
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:54 AM Reply

UPDATE:

Some more options for y'all.

K) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she has a sandpaper vagina and you get major chafing on your weiner.

L) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she's got no hair and her mouth has been sewned together.

M) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't concentrate because you also have to fly a plane that's about to crash into a mountain.

SirSalt
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:57 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:25 AM, ulumuluguy wrote: e of course, common sense i guess
but i dont think shes hot so id rather not have secks wit her

E. But "Secks"? lmao

TheSoulMan
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 10:57 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:54 AM, Clunes wrote: UPDATE:

Some more options for y'all.

K) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she has a sandpaper vagina and you get major chafing on your weiner.

Defianately, I choose K. Hotness.

Jossos
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 11:03 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:54 AM, Clunes wrote:
L) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she's got no hair and her mouth has been sewned together.

You'd think that would take away from her hotness, but obviously not =/


No more fucking moving .gifs? WHAT THE HELL. FUCK YOU.

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SuckMeLongTime
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 11:07 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:22 AM, Clunes wrote:
C) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Rob Schneider.

I wouldn't mind. He's pretty fucking hillarious anyway.

SuckMeLongTime
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 11:10 AM Reply

At 9/28/06 10:37 AM, Rabid wrote: J, so they can witness firsthand one of my greatest achievements.

Actually, thwy would just witness it. If they witness it first hand... Let's just say you would have a long talk with your therapist.

Zel0s
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 11:12 AM Reply

I'd pick J for sure. It's not like I'd have to watch my parents doing her.

Rustygames
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 11:33 AM Reply

shes not so hot


- Matt, Rustyarcade.com

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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 11:34 AM Reply

Can I just have Rob Schneider?

Evark
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 11:40 AM Reply

J is the clear choice here. It's the only choice that doesn't punish YOU, but instead punishes a 3rd party.

Honestly, who would ever want to watch their child have sex with someone else? I know I wouldn't. I'm betting my parents would avert their eyes or something.

So J is the clear answer.


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FuckingGenius
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 12:17 PM Reply

Why is Jessica Alba so damn popular?

Her tits are small and there's at least 500 women out there with a body exactly like hers. The only thing I consider popular any more are giant tits, or a women with a mouth coming out of her vagina.

FullyLoaded
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Response to Sex with Jessica Alba! Sep. 28th, 2006 @ 12:23 PM Reply

Lol
D) she can try
E) why not?
J) blindfold them :)


What would you do?
"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity." - Albert Einstein
Yes, Newgrounds, that quote is dedicated 4 you.

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