At 9/15/12 07:51 PM, morefngdbs wrote:
My first wife wanted the things money could buy...
My first was kindof that way. She grew-up in poverty and was the first in her family to graduate college. She expected the diploma to be the key to an easy life after college. But when things got tough, I think it caused too much stress for her and scars from her childhood (abuse & neglect) bubbled to the surface. We struggled financially, and her answer to driving 30 miles and spending gas to go to med school (while I was an E-3 in the Air Force)...was to move out of base housing and buy a freakin' house. She miscarried. Things just fell apart.
The marriage spectacularly disintegrated.
So maybe it was my fault, maybe it was her fault ... maybe it was no ones fault & shit just happens.
But I saw no reason to stay with her, so I left.
It took me some time to come to peace with it, but yeah I think the 'no one's fault & shit just happens' is the best way to look at things...trying to assign blame just fuels anger and bitterness.
All I know is I got 2 beautiful children out of that relationship who I see & get to be with all the time & that's what's really important & this girl I just asked to marry me, is more than my best friend, she gives me reason to smile & enjoy life & who doesn't care about money. Sure she realises we need it, but to her there are so many other things more important ~:)
I'm celebrating my daughter's 14th B-day next week, we haven't had a relationship since she was four. Last March she moved back to Missouri when the ex got a job here. So we're working on putting the pieces back together. Seeing her makes all the pain and suffering worth it.
As for the new fiance; I'm happy for you. I know that my second attempt is so much happier. She is my best friend and we enjoy doing so many of the same things (cheesy scy fy movies on saturday night, geek movies, books, shooting) so we actually enjoy being together. Even if she asks me what's happening politically to help her get to sleep on sleepless nights.