Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

meh, i wake up, knowing what the day brings, i go through the day, by day's end I'm so emotionally exhausted from being annoyed at many factors in my life, from the way my boss's bitch wife talks and waves her finger around, not to mention the vague as hell instructions that we're supposed to know EXACTLY what she means (basically setting us up to err, then getting pissed when we do) not to mention the total lack of empathy, for instance having us to things inside till around noonish then sending us outside to cut grass, after the morning is done and the heat of the day is upon us.

then there's the coworkers... ugh. one is lazy as hell and refuses to do anything, the other... well....

anyway. then you got the 2 kids one being a loudmouth vile contemptible attention whore who loves to annoy people. and of course, I've received the one set of specific instructions from the boss's wife she's ever given, which is basically that there is nothing I can do to stop him from annoying me.

the worst part is, i live where I work so until i find me a new home im STUCK. TRAPPED! like a fucking rat on a burning ship.

and of course after work I got no one to talk do, little to do, except fiddle around with my bass guitar a bit, and play video games which have gotten so damned boring I can barely take it anymore.

I have no inspiration, no joy, frustration is running into dangerous levels, and I need a release valve before i explode and unleash the gates of hell upon those who cause me so much frustration.

problem is, until business picks up and i can afford to move, im trapped. it's like being a dog stuck in a cage who gets prodded with a freaking stick on a daily basis and never let out to play.

At 6/24/11 09:49 PM, Korriken wrote: I have no inspiration, no joy, frustration is running into dangerous levels, and I need a release valve before i explode and unleash the gates of hell upon those who cause me so much frustration.

... martial arts classes? Perhaps a chance to legally beat the shit out of somebody with their consent? You could always check around to see if there are any underground fight-clubs near you, if cost is an issue.

But I'm going to have to agree with you; you need to move. If your job is causing you this much stress and anxiety, you need to get as far FAR away from it as possible as soon as possible. Failing that, get out more, meet some people and hang out. Look into joining a club that meets up regularly, that way you have something to look forward to during the week.

I hope everything gets better for you, and quick.

At 6/24/11 10:16 PM, Proteas wrote:

... martial arts classes? Perhaps a chance to legally beat the shit out of somebody with their consent? You could always check around to see if there are any underground fight-clubs near you, if cost is an issue.

problem would be disposing of the bodies if i joined a fight club, if i decided to unleash the full power of my frustration and rage.

But I'm going to have to agree with you; you need to move. If your job is causing you this much stress and anxiety, you need to get as far FAR away from it as possible as soon as possible. Failing that, get out more, meet some people and hang out. Look into joining a club that meets up regularly, that way you have something to look forward to during the week.

I think my main problem is, I'm beginning to realize that I've developed a bit of a track record for being used. Many of the people I've helped out in the past have all turned their backs on me when I'm no longer useful, or when I inadvertently get in the way. hell, even one of my own 'friends' who i grew up with begged for my help when he was in dire straights so we worked out an arrangement that would be mutually beneficial. I moved into his spare bedroom and paid him half the rent I was paying at the time. for what I got it was pretty damned expensive at $350 a month for a spare room in a trailer.

Then, as time passed he found himself a better job. Once he got his first paycheck which was more than he'd ever held at one time in his life, he began nudging me out the door. I resisted this nudge, just to see what would happen. I knew what he wanted, he wanted me out the door because he no longer needed me. His timing made it pretty damned obvious. of course about 3 months later, he more or less told me to hit the road and packed up and moved himself.

in essence, he used me when I.. err, my money was convenient. Once he had a better income stream I was an unwanted face in the house, despite me cooking, helping with the cleaning, entertaining the kids so they didn't have to, and always paying my rant ahead of time.

There are many instances I could recall, none of them too pleasant. Needless to say, I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as friendship past the elementary school playground... and I'm well beyond that. I guess I really need to learn that helping others only hurts me, given that i've even pulled one of my coworkers out of a hole and he has never even made an effort to pay me back any of the money I lent him.

I hope everything gets better for you, and quick.

I'm not counting on it....

biggest problem is, change scares he hell out of me, I feel a personality shift brewing deep inside, a dark one, and it makes me nervous, given my strong sense of right and wrong is the one thing barely keeping me from turning into something I don't want to become, but I feel that in time, I will become a dark hearted charlatan.

its easy to turn your back on someone who needs help. Its easy to ask, "what's in it for me?" it's very easy to take advantage of someone and turn their problem into your profit.

to sacrifice yourself to help another, that's not easy, and god knows how many people I've bent over backwards to help, whether its give someone money they need to pay a bill, or hell, even give up the freedom of living alone so that their power doesn't get cut off, or to make an 8 hour drive, in my own car with my own gas to pick someone up in the next state and bring them back and even let them sleep in my own bed while I sleep on the floor.

Even as a kid I always believed in right vs wrong and those who do good for others will eventually be rewarded, as doing evil deeds will eventually be punished.... and here I am sitting, alone, in the storage room of a store. at one point in time I had it all, a job that paid alright, a place of my own, 'friends'...

Sadly, I realized it's all my own fault. If i had realized that friendship is a myth past the age of 9 I'd probably be in a lot better shape.

At 6/25/11 12:06 AM, SevenSeize wrote:

You just had the wrong kind of friends. Don't give up on human companionship. Don't give up on "karma" or doing unto others as you want done unto you.

meh I've accepted my fate to be alone, given the alternative is either some nasty pig that no one else can stand to be around or some woman whose already had her children and just wants a guy to help her raise them.

One thing I am not is cute, or handsome. I am not exactly 'fun' to be around, I don't like to go out drinking, and I won't settle for some bar fly either. people keep telling me to go to bars looking for a woman, but I don't want THAT kind of woman. Unlike some guys I'm not looking for some loose bar whore, I'm looking for a lifelong companion. I also don't go 'clubbing' either. I don't get along with the club type at all.

Hell I even tried to go down the "woman with children" route. It's one I've known for a couple of years that split up with her 'boyfriend' a while back. Given that she basically cast me aside, especially after all the generosity I've shown her, driving her around since her 'boyfriend' didn't have a car, even buying them food so they wouldn't have to go hungry when he was unemployed for a month.

I can only conclude that being a nice guy is one hell of a turnoff with women.

and as far as karma goes, I must have done something horrible at some point in my miserable existence to deserve the punishment I'm being put through.

At 6/25/11 04:28 AM, Korriken wrote: and as far as karma goes, I must have done something horrible at some point in my miserable existence to deserve the punishment I'm being put through.

;;;
karma doesn't exist.
If it did no mafia Don would ever live long.
People who use religious belief of others for their asscent to mega millionaire would never make it ! All you gotta do is turn on the TV & the evangelica rip off artists are crying for donations of any size !

But I know a way that for some strange reason, seems to attract women. Stop trying to attract one. Just fucking give up & start living your life. That's what I did after my marriage break up... I just decided 'fuck it' I'm going to live alone, do what I want when I want to... & before you know it you discover people who enjoy the same things you do, & some of them are women...who (when you don't take the initiative) they do...it worked for me. It also worked for a good friend of mine who tried a bunch of ways including the bar scene, singles clubs & dances, the interweb...he gave up & just started doing his own thing & now he's in a relationship as well.

So stop worrying, life's too short man. Go do what you like & be happy with it.
Remember this saying..it has come true for most of my life anyway.

" Life is what happens, when you're making other plans."

At 6/25/11 03:23 PM, RydiaLockheart wrote: The thing I've noticed: you only find someone when you stop looking. Happened with my last boyfriend and my fiance. Funny how that works.

meh, i've never really looked. led me to several potential companions. first one dumped me right after prom, second one dumped me for a guy twice my age (who proceeded to knock her up and leave her),

3rd one ditched me for a drug addict (terrible blow to my psyche) Given that I went to Texas to pick her up and bring her back so she could be with her cousin to help raise the twins, but the landlord wouldn't let her move in with her cousin (they told me they had his approval before I left). So, being the nice guy I was, tossed my blanket on the floor and slept like a dog at the foot of my own bed while she slept in the bed. The bed was big enough for both of us, but I am a gentleman...

Well, needless to say she stayed in my home, slept on my bed, ate out of my fridge, played on my game systems and computer, was kept cool by my air conditioner. Some asshole drug addict walks up, smiles at her and next thing I know she's moving in with him like 3 weeks later. but, being the nice guy I am, kept a cool head about it (though it pissed me off to no end), stayed on friendly terms with her and tolerated the asshole (barely). which of course, both the twins mother (my neighbor) and her insisted he was a great guy and all... though I knew better. Needless to say about 6 months later she had enough of his shit, given he couldn't get a REAL job because he was a drug addict, worked a day labor job for sub minimal wage. She would often come to my house when he wasn't home and I'd end up cooking something for her, because I could hear her stomach growl all too often.

4rd one was 2 timing on me and I found out about it on christmas day a year ago. that was fun. I didn't really like her all that much anyway so it didn't really bother me too much, was even relieved when I found out about it. She smoked, which was something I didn't care for, and she was a bit of a drama queen, something else I didn't care for.

5th and final one turned out to be a gross pig. I figured I could maybe clean her up a little and she'd turn out all right. No avail, so I left her about 4 months later. She was also clingy, clingy to the point we went to spend a day at the mall and she ended up soiling her pants because she didn't want to leave my side. that was the last straw for me. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't care that she was overweight, not all that smart, not pretty at all, but lacking the common sense to find a toilet when you have to go is too much for me to bear. All too often I would pick her up and she would have a sour smell to her, the kind of sour you get when you don't bathe... disgusting....

Needless to say, the 'dating experience' as a whole has left me pretty badly jaded. Before I started dating I had a hard time trusting people, now its getting borderline impossible for me to let someone even get near me emotionally.

Could be worse; you could be like me and always getting stuck in "the friend zone." I'm the guy that women rant to about their current boyfriends or past relationships, but they won't give me a chance even though I'm a fairly nice guy.

FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GAY!!!

At 6/26/11 01:14 AM, Proteas wrote: Could be worse; you could be like me and always getting stuck in "the friend zone." I'm the guy that women rant to about their current boyfriends or past relationships, but they won't give me a chance even though I'm a fairly nice guy.

well, thats usually where I end up. "you're a nice guy and all, you're just not my type" or "we've known each other for too long) <--- sounds like a recipe for disaster if you refuse to date anyone except strangers.

FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GAY!!!

me neither.

hopefully no one got hurt.

Damn, I had an endoscopy to day, so I couldn't eat anything for 6 hours before that, now after sleeping of the drug they knocked me out, I find out that I can only eat certain things for awhile and that in an hour or two I can't eat anything again for blood test tomarrow, now that sucks, especially when your someone who eats alot.

At 6/28/11 07:33 PM, LordJaric wrote: Damn, I had an endoscopy to day, so I couldn't eat anything for 6 hours before that, now after sleeping of the drug they knocked me out, I find out that I can only eat certain things for awhile and that in an hour or two I can't eat anything again for blood test tomarrow, now that sucks, especially when your someone who eats alot.

After hearing More's stories I don't think I will ever complain about rules for eating from a doctor.

At 6/28/11 09:51 PM, Malachy wrote: After hearing More's stories I don't think I will ever complain about rules for eating from a doctor.

Amen. I'm amazed he hasn't snapped and strung somebody up from the rafters yet.

ah endoscopies...that will forever bring back horrible memories of two years ago when I suffered from a rare esophagus disorder that wouldn't let me eat and had me throwing up anything I tried. It was so bad we couldn't do the first one because even though I followed the instructions there was STILL food in there. I had to spend a whole day on nothing but jello (torture when you haven't really been able to have a true meal since October, and it's now December), then finally had it done...then it was on to surgery and another few weeks of paste, graduating back up to solid food.

Basically? It could be worse guy :)

Don't underestimate granny.

At 6/30/11 07:07 PM, RydiaLockheart wrote:

Well...thankfully the asshole that caused the accident got hurt when the airbag deployed in his face....

Suppose that would depend on the circumstances behind him falling asleep behind the wheel. I once fell asleep behind the wheel after being forced to work a 20 hour shift as a security guard. Thankfully the rumble strip on the side of the road woke me up and I was able to pull over and sleep for a couple of hours before finishing my trip home.

Not fun.

I finally got my eyes checked after like 2 years. My prescription has changed again and this time I can't just mooch my wife's old contacts...except I have astigmatism in my left eye and the brand and prescription the guy gave me is really expensive. Like $200 for a year supply of contacts. $400 for the wife and me to get contacts. On top of the $150 we spent for the exams. Oh well, hopefully I won't get headaches anymore when I wear contacts.

At 7/1/11 12:46 AM, RydiaLockheart wrote: Mal, what kind of contacts are you two using? I pay $100 for a year's supply of disposables. Of course, if you have astigmatism, I imagine you can't use disposables. I need new glasses too as my prescription has changed. In April, I ripped a contact when I was in DC. (Turned out to be defective to begin with.) I only had my glasses as a backup. So I drove down the DC Beltway with impaired vision. It was only bad late at night or when it was dark and rainy. Other times the writing on the road signs was large enough for me to see despite crappy vision.

I used to use acuvue oasis 2-week contacts. They are typically $30 a box. My new prescription is for biofinity one-month contacts, one with an astigmatism correction and one without (my left eye is just bad enough to need it and my right eye isn't quite there yet). The brand goes for about $40 a box and the astigmatism is $50 a box. The wife got the same brand but without astigmatism and for a different power.

I tried the store-brand contacts from a few places and they were really uncomfortable back when I first got contacts and each time since. I switched to biofinity because the acuvue oasis astigmatism was really uncomfortable and gave me a weird blind spot in the left of my peripheral vision. Plus, I was still getting headaches. I kind of have a low-grade one now but I think that's from straining my eye muscles trying to get used to the new script (my sight has gotten worse and one eye has one power and the other has a different and one eye has astigmatism correction and the doc said that I'm probably inadvertently fighting the change)

Typically what I did was buy the 2-week contacts and wear them for a month. The wife did the same thing and 5 years ago she bought a years supply which lasted much longer and still had 6 months worth left over when she got a new prescription but my new script was for the same strength she used to have for both my eyes - so I used those for until now because I don't wear contacts so often.

I use my glasses more often than not because I think they're pretty stylish or at least they don't look terrible on me but I like contacts when I do sports or exercising or swimming.

Mom went and ordered herself a new car. New model with the specific features of the old one. Won't arrive until September. She'll borrow mine until I move, then she'd probably rent one for a short period of time.

I had a professor in undergrad who lived in DC but commuted to New England to teach on the weekdays - she would take the commuter train to Boston and then rent a car. She said it wound up being cheaper for her to rent a car for 2 or 3 days a week than to buy one.

At 6/28/11 10:23 PM, Proteas wrote:

At 6/28/11 09:51 PM, Malachy wrote: After hearing More's stories I don't think I will ever complain about rules for eating from a doctor.

Amen. I'm amazed he hasn't snapped and strung somebody up from the rafters yet.

;;;
I don't think I've ever really snapped , cranky sometimes , yeah,& I did have vivid dreams about food sometimes.
But if they tell you to do something, you're only hurting yourself if you don't follow their instructions.
THis last problem that had me on meds & a restricted diet from March 1 for 90 days was a choice of that...or surgery.
Seeing as I still have problems with my left foot,after they 'fixed' that busted up mess & coming up on the 4th anniversay of breaking it (july 5) I didn't want to go the surgery route.
Sure its fixed, but my leg/ankle has never been the same, I figured letting myself heal while drugs stopped acid production etc & sticking to the restricted diet, was a better way to go. Than getting sliced open, & then I have to heal from that !

Lindsey Logan recommends buying gold

Yep, ph33r the imminent hyperinflation THAT WILL DEFINITELY COME LIKE SOON LIKE TOMORROW MAYBE OR NEXT YEAR OR AT LEAST WITHIN TWO YEARS OR LIKE.. SOON..

I need some serious help. I need someone who is a total prick and asshole to teach me how to live for myself and myself only. I realize that being the nice guy in life is getting me nowhere. I always end up in the "friend zone" of every woman I meet, who think of me as little more than someone who will be nice to them and let them shred their tears on my shoulder when the more attractive guys who are schooled in the art of talking their way into a woman's pants hurt them.

Personally, I'm sick of hear "I think of you as a brother." or "you're a great friend and I don't want to ruin that!" or "I've known you for too long."

I've got to break my problem of being nice and having a strong conscience. 2 things that have been plaguing me for far too long. Even if someone wrongs me, I just can't bring myself to stick it to them and let them know just how I feel, or return the favor, and I have another terrible habit of having the philosophy of "I'll let me actions speak for me" Given my actions tell a whole other story from what I want to tell.

as I sit here, staring at my big leather pimp hat, as some has called it, I realize that I have another, albeit somewhat minor problem.

I am completely devoid of fashion sense. I can match colors, that's simple enough, but matching up designs is beyond my scope of comprehension.

how exactly DO you go about wearing a big wide brimmed hard leather hat and not looking like an idiot/jerk/pedophile/compulsive gambler/douche?

do I wear normal cowboy attire? It's not like your average thin felt/light leather/plastic/straw cowboy hat. this thing is more akin to a big wide brimmed piece of leather armor in texture. do I need something special, like some sort of leather vest? or should I just never put the thing on because nothing can go with it?

I don't have a bloody clue... maybe I should add it to my trophy case of impulse buys that in hindsight make absolutely no sense.

I do have a normal straw hat that is uglier than sin, but that's for doing yard work, and I'm not worried about looking good when I'm mowing grass.