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Hey guys guess what.

At 5/25/11 07:52 PM, Elfer wrote: Hey guys guess what.

Hookers and blow?

O:

At 5/25/11 07:52 PM, Elfer wrote: Hey guys guess what.

Chicken butt?

I'll tell ya later.

At 5/25/11 06:43 PM, SevenSeize wrote:

Isn't that why we're all on newgrounds? Our interests/style/clothing choices are all things that would get us beat up in the locker room?

meh, don't remind me of the freaking locker room.

just a tip for the skinny bully type kids. If you back a big kid into a wall, it's probably not because he's afraid, it's because that wall is a powerful weapon he can use against you when he grabs your sorry ass and begins to use you as a demolition device on said wall.

another tip. the human body is not hard enough to demolish a well built wall.

Fighting sucks. fighting is painful. fighting fair opens you up to getting hurt so never fight fair. fight to win and to hell with the other guy. If he gets hurt, it's his own fault for picking the fight.

and god know how many times I managed to lure a little shithead to a brick wall, metal pole, etc.

some dumbass: oh yeah, fat kid's backing up, he's scared. hit em in the face! hit em in the.... oh shit he's slamming you into that wall, hey, fat boy, let him go!

me: ok. *hurls bully to the ground* you want some?

Some dumbass: uhh... *runs*

I never could figure out why they called me shit like "fat fu" in school. 95% of what I do in a self defense situation involve throwing the other person or bending their arms and legs into painful positions. If i kicked someone, it was to disable a knee and the only 'punches' im willing to use involve finger jabs to the eye or the occasional diaphram punch.

it's all for one purpose. to get you to leave me the hell alone before I am forced to piledrive your thick skull into the even harder concrete.

and I don't like to harm people, but I'd rather not sit around and let someone else harm me :)

At 5/25/11 07:52 PM, Elfer wrote: Hey guys guess what.

You ripped a leather-bound copy of the Encylopedia Britannica in half after a killer set at the local comedy club?

I KEED! I KEED!!!

Congratulations, man. :-D

At 5/25/11 11:47 PM, Korriken wrote: Fighting sucks. fighting is painful. fighting fair opens you up to getting hurt so never fight fair. fight to win and to hell with the other guy. If he gets hurt, it's his own fault for picking the fight.

Weirdly enough, I was signed up for a self-defense e-newsletter a while back where one of the most basic bits of advice they could offer you was to fight dirty. They would show you a few cool tips every now and then (like stepping out of the way of a charging attacker, ducking down, then pushing the attacker off balance as they get to you), or stuff like the brachial stunner, but the most basic advice they would offer was to fight dirty. Pull their hair, bite, claw their eyes, kick 'em in the junk or aim for their shins, stomp their feet, anything that could help you get out of the situation you were in.

At 5/25/11 08:39 PM, Elfer wrote: I'll tell ya later.

You sneaky sonabi-

*gets mugged*

Seriously, congratulations.

At 5/25/11 08:39 PM, Elfer wrote: I'll tell ya later.

You sly devil...

:D

MODCAAAAKKKEEE.

Though I could've sworn mods get a lifetime supply of hookers and blow upon ascension...

At 5/25/11 08:39 PM, Elfer wrote: I'll tell ya later.

;;;
I don't whether to congratulate you...or offer condolences !

At 5/26/11 08:34 AM, zephiran wrote:

Though I could've sworn mods get a lifetime supply of hookers and blow upon ascension...

.... since when?

At 5/26/11 10:43 AM, Proteas wrote:

At 5/26/11 08:34 AM, zephiran wrote:

Though I could've sworn mods get a lifetime supply of hookers and blow upon ascension...

.... since when?

You used up 2 lifetimes of hookers and blow, we had to cut you off or there wouldn't be any left for the rest of us!

At 5/26/11 11:57 AM, Malachy wrote: You used up 2 lifetimes of hookers and blow, we had to cut you off or there wouldn't be any left for the rest of us!

I think you're thinking of Shrike and Funk. All I got was a t-shirt and stickers.

At 5/26/11 12:48 PM, Proteas wrote: I think you're thinking of Shrike and Funk. All I got was a t-shirt and stickers.

"I was modded and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt"

At 5/26/11 12:58 PM, BrianEtrius wrote: "I was modded and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt"

It was NOT a lousy t-shirt. It was the greatest t-shirt EVER!!!

At 5/26/11 04:30 PM, Proteas wrote:

At 5/26/11 12:58 PM, BrianEtrius wrote: "I was modded and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt"

It was NOT a lousy t-shirt. It was the greatest t-shirt EVER!!!

I thought TBF gave away hats, not shirts.

also, I have a t-shirt from avie's site

Apparently my mod powers are transferring to other parts of my life as well. Yesterday at the climbing gym I was trying a really difficult sit start to a bouldering problem and ripped the hold right off the wall.

At 5/27/11 12:16 PM, Elfer wrote: Apparently my mod powers are transferring to other parts of my life as well. Yesterday at the climbing gym I was trying a really difficult sit start to a bouldering problem and ripped the hold right off the wall.

I thought maybe you were starting to pull penises from behind peoples' ears.

Like a magic trick, only magically creepy.

ta DAAAAAAAA!

At 5/27/11 12:28 PM, LazyDrunk wrote: I thought maybe you were starting to pull penises from behind peoples' ears.

shortly afterward, he realized that he created yet another glory hole

At 5/27/11 12:57 PM, Malachy wrote: shortly afterward, he realized that he created yet another glory hole

And sure enough, there was a sign on his back that read "Ban me".

At 5/27/11 12:57 PM, Malachy wrote:

At 5/27/11 12:28 PM, LazyDrunk wrote: I thought maybe you were starting to pull penises from behind peoples' ears.

shortly afterward, he realized that he created yet another glory hole

Actually what happened was I got a raging mod-boner so powerful it ripped a glory hole in the space-time continuum.

At 5/27/11 01:46 PM, Elfer wrote: Actually what happened was I got a raging mod-boner so powerful it ripped a glory hole in the space-time continuum.

• 
  Retarded Animal Babies 19 by Dave

  Click to view.

  Type

  Movie

  Rated

  Adults Only

At 5/27/11 01:46 PM, Elfer wrote:

At 5/27/11 12:57 PM, Malachy wrote:

At 5/27/11 12:28 PM, LazyDrunk wrote: I thought maybe you were starting to pull penises from behind peoples' ears.

shortly afterward, he realized that he created yet another glory hole

Actually what happened was I got a raging mod-boner so powerful it ripped a glory hole in the space-time continuum.

oo-rah!

Congrats on the status, Elfer. "Fixin yo BBS"

-----------------

Headed up to the cabin as soon as my brother gets here. Rain started comin down a half hour ago, but hopefully that shit'll quit by the time we get North. Don't need this rainy shit every weekend, ya know?

Found Grieves from Rhymesayers a few days ago, and I've been whoring it like crazy.. look at my last news post for a couple tracks. Spread it like an infection, if you like it. When I catch the monster (profile pike is only an 8 pounder) I'll post a few pics. Take it easy all, enjoy the weekend :)

At 5/28/11 12:27 AM, SevenSeize wrote:

At 5/27/11 12:57 PM, Malachy wrote:

At 5/27/11 12:28 PM, LazyDrunk wrote: I thought maybe you were starting to pull penises from behind peoples' ears.

shortly afterward, he realized that he created yet another glory hole

When you're a NG moderator, the WORLD is your glory hole.

or oyster.

Glory oyster?

And every guy in the room is now wondering about the technical functions of that.

Congrats Elfer

I worked at an oyster shucking plant once. there used to be 2 of them in my town. they were side by side.

and a glory oyster would be the most painful castration tool ever.

At 5/29/11 12:45 AM, Korriken wrote: I worked at an oyster shucking plant once. there used to be 2 of them in my town. they were side by side.

and a glory oyster would be the most painful castration tool ever.

red tide infection

At 5/28/11 12:31 AM, stafffighter wrote: And every guy in the room is now wondering about the technical functions of that.

Congrats Elfer

You know, somewhere on the internet that's bound to exist, though I dare not to google that. I have enough nightmares as it is.

At 5/28/11 12:31 AM, stafffighter wrote: And every guy in the room is now wondering about the technical functions of that.

I think Gene Simmons would have to be involved.

A blind man walks into Wal-Mart with his seeing-eye-dog, and just as he gets inside the entrance, he grabs the dog by the tail and proceeds to spin around above his head. An associate quickly walks up and says "Sir! Is everything all right? Can we help you?!" To which the blind man responds "just taking a look around."

the funniest part of the joke? the idea that Wal-Mart associates would actually give a shit.