Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 11/7/05 04:20 PM, Proteas wrote:

At 11/7/05 03:49 PM, LadyGrace wrote: Um... then MODERATE you queer!!! :) <3

That's what I've been doing. I'm still bored.

Dude that is bit too many references to hugging and hugging pictures. What's next, are you going to run around a fuzzy animal suit and MS Paint all the regs to look the same? That would just be gay.

At 11/7/05 04:20 PM, Proteas wrote: That's what I've been doing. I'm still bored.

So the honeymoon is already over?
Man, it was so cool at first to be modded. Then it just sort of becomes normal.

BeFell, I actually laughed at that. Specifically, the "six pounds lighter" bit. What does that say for my maturity?

At 11/7/05 04:26 PM, BeFell wrote: Dude that is bit too many references to hugging and hugging pictures. What's next, are you going to run around a fuzzy animal suit and MS Paint all the regs to look the same? That would just be gay.

Seriously, next thing you know, Proteas is going to become a mormon, which would be even gayer.

At 11/7/05 04:26 PM, BeFell wrote: Dude that is bit too many references to hugging and hugging pictures.

Two in two days? Come on.

What's next, are you going to run around a fuzzy animal suit and MS Paint all the regs to look the same? That would just be gay.

Anyone for the "pot calling the kettle black?"

At 11/7/05 04:27 PM, Ted_Easton wrote: So the honeymoon is already over?

Nah.

Man, it was so cool at first to be modded. Then it just sort of becomes normal.

Oh believe me, it's still cool. It's just there's nothing that interesting going on in the politics forum right now... well, besides the questioning of my sexuality.

At 11/7/05 04:28 PM, Gunter45 wrote: Seriously, next thing you know, Proteas is going to become a mormon, which would be even gayer.

I'm this close to telling the SBU to go screw themselves, so you never know...

I like in the "who's worse Mao or Hitler" topic the two poli regs are saying Mao, and all the general users are saying Hitler. People's reasoning for choosing Hitler "he killed 20 million of my own people," "I'm Chinese, so I say Hitler," "the gas chambers were very bad." Seriously... why do we even bother to educate the masses? They prefer to remain ignorant.

At 11/7/05 05:08 PM, LadyGrace wrote: I like in the "who's worse Mao or Hitler" topic the two poli regs are saying Mao, and all the general users are saying Hitler. People's reasoning for choosing Hitler "he killed 20 million of my own people," "I'm Chinese, so I say Hitler," "the gas chambers were very bad." Seriously... why do we even bother to educate the masses? They prefer to remain ignorant.

Damn right. The unwashed masses have no appreciation for our genius, so it's back to the ivory tower of Shrike's penis for us.

At 11/7/05 05:08 PM, LadyGrace wrote: I like in the "who's worse Mao or Hitler" topic the two poli regs are saying Mao, and all the general users are saying Hitler. People's reasoning for choosing Hitler "he killed 20 million of my own people," "I'm Chinese, so I say Hitler," "the gas chambers were very bad." Seriously... why do we even bother to educate the masses? They prefer to remain ignorant.

Wait a minute what are you trying to say here. I'm sorry if i can't measure up with your high intelligence but it would be helpfull if i could understand.

At 11/7/05 06:00 PM, fenrus1989 wrote: Wait a minute what are you trying to say here. I'm sorry if i can't measure up with your high intelligence but it would be helpfull if i could understand.

Don't worry about it. *pat pat* Now drink your juice.

At 11/7/05 06:57 PM, _Guardian_ wrote: Your comment was very ignorant in itself ;-D

....Reg war.....

Not another one....

And it seems the old crew is drifting back in.... Myself, Bakshi, Ryan... Shall be interesting.

If anyone is going to get slapped, it'll probably me.

Hey, what can I say? I'm just a popular guy.

At 11/7/05 07:25 PM, _Guardian_ wrote: ...I'm just waiting to get slapped.

<3

*cockslaps*

Well, I'm not moving to Frayser.

I'm moving to the University District, which is awesome. Not only that, but chances are I'll be buying a house there, not just renting, so I'll officially be a white, male, southern property owner.

Apparently if you pay all your bills and don't build up credit card debt, there really IS an inner circle of old white men that help you out.

OMG SNOW!!!

At 11/7/05 07:22 PM, theburningliberal wrote: Not another one....

You deamed us unworthy of your time. I believe the feeling has become mutual.

I tried to start posting yesterday, but then Proteas banned me, and then he graciously overturned it... Or something....

Props to Proteas.

But yeah, I decided to check out NG again, and when I came back, y'all were here too.

what the fuck lets do the time warp again but with new minty fresh mods what the fuck

At 11/7/05 10:11 PM, Maus wrote: what the fuck lets do the time warp again but with new minty fresh mods what the fuck

Did you think of the time warp line on your own, or did you read mine from earlier? Because if you didn't... that's fucking creepy.

At 11/7/05 10:12 PM, LadyGrace wrote: Did you think of the time warp line on your own, or did you read mine from earlier? Because if you didn't... that's fucking creepy.

Actually, I just read this page and posted. That is mighty creepy. o_O

:o

Hey wait a minute, you two are the same person...

At 11/7/05 11:13 PM, BeFell wrote: Hey wait a minute, you two are the same person...

OMG HE KNOWS! *bans*

At 11/7/05 11:41 PM, -Michael- wrote: Women , are all the same. Especially as moderators on the ng bbs

So... excellent at their job? Yeah, thought so.

So I saw Saw II last night, creepy stuff, but it didn't really fall into place. They didn't really play on the fact that the people didn't appreciate their lives or they weren't capable of surviving. Sure, he talked about it a little, but it wasn't incorporated that well, I don't think. Although the whole thing about playing with the cop was pretty wild.

Jeez Christ, what the hell happened? People I vaguely remember come back and start posting again and NEW mods?

I hope both you are banning a lot of people. Cause I know I would have an insane power trip.

Ahh, power trip on the internet. Im pathetic :P

At 11/6/05 09:19 PM, NintendoClock wrote: Actually, im not gonna post my name and cell phone number.

Just change the settings so only your friends can see it. Thats what I did.

At 11/6/05 11:39 AM, marchingtyrants wrote: i.e communist threads(offical one) and using vulgarites to people who support it.

Lol, Id ban you so much if I got the chance. SOOOO much.

At 11/7/05 11:58 PM, -Michael- wrote: You are putting words in my mouth, but yeah you're definately right.

I'll put something in your mouth...

a lolly pop. WHAT?!?@

I have an apprentice. Now to figure out what I actually, you know, do.

At 11/7/05 11:13 PM, BeFell wrote: Hey wait a minute, you two are the same person...

No, but there's a Maus lookalike in General and it's fucking scary, she even has the same/similar glasses and smokes. =/

I'm scared. I really am. I don't know when the last time I was truly scared, but this is the only time I can remember when I have been really frightened.

I was trying to sleep, and usually, before I fall asleep my mind wanders. Now, I have vented here about how some things suck in my life, but I've never really gone into details. Well, I think it's time for that. Everything hit me, like a sledge hammer, I just started thinking about things and before I knew it, my chest felt like it was made out of lead and it was collapsing in on itself. My body got really tight, seeing as how my back and neck are sore from whiplash, that caused me a great deal of pain. Everything kept coming to me in my head, it was awful. I started to convulse, not a lot, but any is far too much for me. It was only a second or two, but when I stopped, I was lying on my stomach on my bed and it felt like I couldn't move my body, just my head and neck. Maybe I didn't want to move, I don't know, either way, I was still for a little bit. I wasn't thinking about anything. Absolutely nothing, it was like an eerie calm after a violent storm. I convulsed again for a brief instant. At this point, I was very, very scared.

All I know is that I don't want to try to go to sleep, not for a little bit, at least not until I get some things off of my chest, I don't care where or how, but I need to or I'm going to be in serious trouble, at least that's how I feel. I got up, quietly walked downstairs and I just sat on the couch and I huddled in a little ball. I don't know why, but I did and it felt comfortable.

So now, I need to get some things off of my chest. I've never really said or wrote or communicated the bulk of my problems to anyone. I've never really felt like I have anyone to talk to and that's part of the problem. However, seeing as how this is anonymous and I can just walk away from this anytime I please, not to mention the fact that it is about 4 am here, this seems like the place to do it. Nothing is a hyperbole, or exaggerated, it's as is. Hell, I don't care if anyone reads it, just the fact that I'm putting it out there helps.

My dad is crazy. He's manic depressive and bipolar, that's for sure, he seems to have symptoms of paranoid schitzophrenia. For the most part, he's normal, but he's extremely depressed, he latches on to any crazy idea he finds on the internet, and I'm sure that he feels really isolated and alone. This rips me apart to think of my dad like this. It hurts an awful lot. It's in the back of my mind when I see him and it just hurts. I would love to talk to him about how things are going, but he just can't listen. For some reason, he will jump on random things I say, piece them together with random thoughts he has and tries to reiterate that back to me and thinks that's how I'm feeling. I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but every time I try to talk to him about how I'm feeling, he always interrupts and tells me how he thinks I'm trying to tell him how I feel and it ends up being the complete opposite of what I'm explicitly saying. It doesn't help matters that he's a nurse and he has worked with some very troubled people, adolescents and adults. I think that has screwed him up a great deal. He doesn't do that particular type of work anymore, but I think it had a big effect on him.

My mom isn't much better. Everytime I try to tell her about how I'm feeling, she immediately jumps to comdemn me for something. I don't know if she tries to do it, but I really can't bring myself to talk to her about anything, especially feelings. If I feel horrible before talking to her, it ends up being worse afterwards, she just jumps on everything, it's awful. The last time I tried to talk to her about anything remotely personal was when I was going through some depression towards the beginning of the year. I told her I was depressed and she immediately harped on whether or not my school work was suffering, literally cut me off. I told her that I wasn't going to try to tell her about how I felt about anything after that. Imagine now, especially since I somewhat recently started to drink on weekends and I've smoked weed. Forget it. I know she's trying to get me to succeed, but I don't think she realizes that the last thing I need is for somebody to tell me what I'm doing wrong when I'm trying to tell her about how I feel like I'm fucking everything up as it is.

My brother is the worst. Every shortcoming, and even things that aren't, he ridicules me for. He has made a science of picking me apart. A lot of people have brothers that pick on them, granted, however, I only remember brief periods of time when he wasn't trying to push my buttons, make me angry, or just try to demoralize me, much less when we got along. He is the cause of my only two acts of rage. He riled me up so much one time that I punched out a windshield with my hands just to vent my anger, and another when I physically wanted to hurt him and I chased him around the house, I ended up punching out the glass mosaic on the door trying to hit him while he was closing the door. Things are changing slowly. Maybe it's because we almost never see each other, but one of the recent times I saw him, he said that he knows that he's really never done anything nice for me. Nineteen years, and I just pushed all of that hate, rage, and malice inside me, that's not going to do much, asshole.

I don't have any friends like I feel like I can talk to about personal stuff. I have a hard time opening up to people, maybe that's because of the aforementioned people who taught me what happens when you try to open your heart up to people: you get ignored, condemned, and ridiculed. That's not my conscious thought, but deep down in the back of my mind, that's what I associate with talking about my feelings, because that's all I've ever known.

Not to mention the fact that my grandmother, one of the only people who really understood what was going on, mainly between me and my brother, and comforted me about it without me having to say a word about it, is dying. Not just dying, but dying painfully and slowly. That hurts and it makes me sadder than anything ever has.

The two people who hit me and don't have insurance is icing on the fucking cake. Yeah, they don't have insurance, either of them.

Did I mention that my emotions are so fucked up that I haven't been able to cry in over 6 years? Not even if I wanted to.

Ran out of characters. Also, my faith in God, at least an all-knowing God who has a perfect plan has been all but destroyed. The above has a lot to do with it, but there's other things as well. I've experienced too much as a Christian, about things that have made me all too sure there is a God to completely disregard the existence of God. I have seen things in the Christians I have met with, especially the Christians I have met with, to doubt that there is truly something real in Christianity. However, I have had enough shit shoveled my way and I have done a lot of praying, mainly for some friends of mine. And it has been eerie, not to mention enfuriating, how every single one of my friends that I have prayed for has had their life take a nasty nose dive. Not necessarily during the duration or after I have prayed for them, but every single one of them. There's that, and more that I have against God. There's a lot more. I've decided that I'm cutting my Christian ties. That leaves a large amount of friends, people who have cared for me as a child, people who have helped me along gone, cut off. It's not a matter of whether or not I will, it's a matter of when, when being a short duration of time, from immediately to a few months.

I need to sort out a lot of things. Needless to say, I'm going to be gone from the BBS for a little while. In case any of you are wondering, I'm not considering suicide, that's a pussy way out and I know it. I'm going to deal with my shit, meaning I'm not going to bottle all of that emotion up any more, but it's going to take some time, and it's going to be hard. I don't know what I'm going to do with all of this shit that feels like a lump of iron in my chest, but I'm going to find a way to deal with it so I can finally get rid of all of that hate, rage, malice, sorrow, confusion, everything I've buried, so I can finally get on with my life. I'm sick of it, I've been told, mainly by my brother, to just "take it," and I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm not going to let it explode, I'm not going to let it destroy me, so don't think that dealing with it is going to involve any violence, that's not who I am. I just need a lot of time.

So, I guess this is good bye for a little while, not too long, hopefully. I'm not going to go away for a year or anything, but hopefully a couple months to where I can at least get ahold of things.

At 11/8/05 05:43 AM, Gunter45 wrote: So, I guess this is good bye for a little while, not too long, hopefully. I'm not going to go away for a year or anything, but hopefully a couple months to where I can at least get ahold of things.

Another one?

Jesus fuck, don't leave us to the nubs. =(

At 11/8/05 05:43 AM, Gunter45 wrote: So, I guess this is good bye for a little while, not too long, hopefully. I'm not going to go away for a year or anything, but hopefully a couple months to where I can at least get ahold of things.

Good luck. We'll all be wishing the best for you.

At 11/7/05 11:58 PM, -Michael- wrote: It's just a parody of my school district is banning PUNK

That's what I thought the PUNK one was at first glance.