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At 6/19/05 01:18 AM, JusticeofSarcasm wrote: You shoudl have gotten oen of those flashlights they stick up your rectum so that they can see witht he camera. then you shoudl ahve also gottena disposable camera and a jar of vasaline.

Nothing tells your dad you love him like checking him regularly for rectal and colon cancer. That's why you need a home colonoscopy kit, NOW.

At 6/19/05 12:47 AM, stafffighter wrote:

At 6/19/05 12:01 AM, red_skunk wrote: They left us big time. *sniff*

Yes, abandoned. Use the pain. Use the solitary. I Will never be beautiful. I will never be handsome. i will never be desire. I can be smart. I can be strong. I can be true

That's why they should have made deputy moderators. Now without moderation, armed bands of vigilante mods will post themselves at the forum border, and snipe any people that try to enter without following the rules. Eventually, as the forum slips deeper into anarchy, people begin to deteriorate and form alliances in the clubs and crews forum, until they began fighting amongst each other, kill a sow, and worship its impaled, fly swarmed head...

At 6/19/05 01:29 AM, red_skunk wrote:
Stop touching me.

No one touches me. Alone. Strength

At 6/19/05 01:32 AM, IllustriousPotentate wrote:
That's why they should have made deputy moderators.

Honestly, I don't think the influx of n00bage will outweigh the amount reg pwnage should the occasion arise. Agreed, the 1337 toolz would help, but can't all just live in our own little politics commune, seeking outside aid only when absolutely needed?

At 6/19/05 01:33 AM, stafffighter wrote:
No one touches me. Alone. Strength

Nice poem. You may touch me now.

About a dozen sets on the weights and my rage is somewhat alleviated. I'll be sour in the morning but it's worth it. And I got my dad a *beyond the sead* dvd. It's widescreen, for all the good that does a blind man

My dad didn't want me to get him anything because he believes Father's Day is a manufactured holiday. But he said this after I bought him his present. I got him season 3 of Angel, and my brother got him season 4.

At 6/19/05 02:33 AM, LadyGrace wrote: My dad didn't want me to get him anything because he believes Father's Day is a manufactured holiday. But he said this after I bought him his present. I got him season 3 of Angel, and my brother got him season 4.

Your dad like his men tall and brooding?

This is an odd question, but I need to know the answer...

Let's say a man and a woman are having sex. The man lying on his back, the woman on top. They are both hyped up on cocaine and the man has a bad heart. While they're having sex the man has a heart attack and dies, because his heart couldn't handle the mixture of both the cocaine and furious sex. So, the girl is still on top of him having sex, but he is dead. I know it's possible for a man to maintain an erection while dead, but this is my question...

Would it be possible for the man to cum? He's dead, and the woman is still having sex with him while he's dead for about 5 minutes. Could he ejaculate in death? Does anyone know for certain, or in the crazy possibility, can anybody provide links that can tell me if this is possible? I would like to be sure if the answer is no or yes, instead of just a guestimate.

At 6/19/05 02:36 AM, stafffighter wrote:

At 6/19/05 02:33 AM, LadyGrace wrote: My dad didn't want me to get him anything because he believes Father's Day is a manufactured holiday. But he said this after I bought him his present. I got him season 3 of Angel, and my brother got him season 4.

Your dad like his men tall and brooding?

Don't forget blood thirsty and violent. Sounds like a news story outta Alabama. :P

At 6/19/05 03:09 AM, DirtySyko wrote: This is an odd question, but I need to know the answer...

Let's say a man and a woman are having sex. The man lying on his back, the woman on top. They are both hyped up on cocaine and the man has a bad heart. While they're having sex the man has a heart attack and dies, because his heart couldn't handle the mixture of both the cocaine and furious sex. So, the girl is still on top of him having sex, but he is dead. I know it's possible for a man to maintain an erection while dead, but this is my question...

Would it be possible for the man to cum? He's dead, and the woman is still having sex with him while he's dead for about 5 minutes. Could he ejaculate in death? Does anyone know for certain, or in the crazy possibility, can anybody provide links that can tell me if this is possible? I would like to be sure if the answer is no or yes, instead of just a guestimate.

What in the fuck brought that up? Are you having a sick three way that just went terribly wrong?

How in the hell would anyone in here know that? Oh.... wait.... right. I forgot where I was for a minute. :\

At 6/19/05 03:09 AM, DirtySyko wrote: This is an odd question, but I need to know the answer...

Yes. Yes he can.

Now my question is this:

Would his family be responsible for paying child support should the woman keep it?

evidence, the movie clerks

Pretty sad if the sex you're used to is indistinguishable from that with a dead man.

At 6/19/05 03:31 AM, -LazyDrunk- wrote: Pretty sad if the sex you're used to is indistinguishable from that with a dead man.

Indeed, Dant'e got dissed from beyond the grave

At 6/19/05 03:09 AM, DirtySyko wrote: ...Would it be possible for the man to cum? He's dead, and the woman is still having sex with him while he's dead for about 5 minutes. Could he ejaculate in death?

I could see the possibility, although I wouldn't know anything about the machanics. How do I know? Gather round children-- here's a strange but true story about 'deadly ejaculation'.

Funny, but true story.

My asshole uncle, Jesus, is a rancher. I find in despicable in all ways, but enough with those details. They're not important. So one of his prized bulls died. This bull is infamous world wide, he sold tons of its semon through rancher catalogs. Even in Australia.

So anyways,
I'm walking with him (behind him) and he sees his bull, escaped, dying on the road. And he's telling his sons, my cousins, to get 'the container'. They run home, and I'm there. Yeah, I hate the bastard, but this bull is pratically his life. And he loved it, and he's crying. I never saw him crying before, and I try my best. And then my cousins come along with the 'special container'.

Then my uncle says, "Okay-- Henry-- You gotta need to put hand right there." He points to its dick. I was like, "Hell no." So here the dialogue, more or less:

"I gotta no gloves."
"So what. I'm a guest, I don't ranch."
"You wanna eat tomorrow?"
"I'll buy my food-- YOU JACK OFF THE BULL!"
"You hands soft. Mine rough. He like you more."
"It's dead!"
"Hurry up, before it is too late."
"I'M NOT GONNA JACK OFF A DEAD OR LIVE BULL!!!"

So my uncle turns to my cousins-- same ordeal. About 5 minutes passed, and he's desperate. He peels his sleave, and gently strokes the mighty bull. Up and down. Up and down. Slowly. Then faster. Then slowly. And slower. Slower. Ah! Fast! FASTER! OH GOD YEAH! HUUHHHMMPPHHHH. Oh. God. Jesus. Pumping the mighty fount. Greasing the ol' elbow. Gently, ride the gentle bull uncle-- and then.

A miracle.

The dead bull cums. And cums. And cums... And cums some more.
I was liked, "Dang-- I never knew a bull had that much sperm."

"Gee uncle, I never knew you were so handy." I say to my uncle, my cousins are nearly on the ground, cracking up. Me, I'm nearly the same.

"If you loved that bull, you should had fellated him." I said before my uncle tries to fling a handful of bull jism at me.

And we. Lived. Happily. Ever. After. The End.

At 6/19/05 03:44 AM, spamishfli wrote:

Funny, but true story.

Jesus, is a rancher.

YOU LIE!

So anyways,

I was liked, "Dang-- I never knew a bull had that much sperm."

That's more like it.

Penis.

Pronounced as "Hey" and "Seuss" (as in Dr. Sesuss).

The nickname of Jesus is Chuy (as in the hairy guy from Star Wars).

Yeah-- jacking off dead bulls for profit.
Admirable job.

At 6/19/05 03:56 AM, spamishfli wrote:

Yeah-- jacking off dead bulls for profit.
Admirable job.

Jerking off caged animals, also from clerks, is there anything that movie dosen't have?

At 6/19/05 03:56 AM, spamishfli wrote: Yeah-- jacking off dead bulls for profit.
Admirable job.

That was a damn good story...

...but still nasty as hell : /

At 6/19/05 03:44 AM, spamishfli wrote: "Gee uncle, I never knew you were so handy." I say to my uncle, my cousins are nearly on the ground, cracking up. Me, I'm nearly the same.

HAHAHAHAH! Shit! I think I pissed myself. Damn funny story. Elfer you should try using it.

At 6/19/05 03:56 AM, spamishfli wrote: Pronounced as "Hey" and "Seuss" (as in Dr. Sesuss).

Hey just cuz I play a corn-bread redneck on internet doesn't mean I haven't worked with plenty of Mexicans named "Hey" "Suess"

Stamper once told me I was racist.

At 6/19/05 04:17 AM, -LazyDrunk- wrote:

At 6/19/05 03:56 AM, spamishfli wrote: Pronounced as "Hey" and "Seuss" (as in Dr. Sesuss).

Hey just cuz I play a corn-bread redneck on internet doesn't mean I haven't worked with plenty of Mexicans named "Hey" "Suess"

Stamper once told me I was racist.

I thought you were thinking of the English way of saying Jesus-- sorry, didn't get your joke in the beginning.

Funny thing is... I actually thought, as a kid, that Jesus was Mexican.

At 6/19/05 04:24 AM, spamishfli wrote: Funny thing is... I actually thought, as a kid, that Jesus was Mexican.

Well, that probably is closer than the accepted flowing-haired Anglo version.

Then again, he did feed 3,000 men fish and bread, not beef n tortillas.

At 6/19/05 04:42 AM, -LazyDrunk- wrote: ... not beef n tortillas.

Mexican food is variable. Since Mexico has tons of regions, you see a variety. Some Mexicans never had a taco with beef.

Some Mexicans live off food from the sea.
My dad is from Mexico City, where there is plenty of indigenous food, and food with Chilie. But my mother, who is from a Guadalajara, they tend to disdain anything that's "Indian" or hot.

I take after my dad. I like eating "weird" food (as my uncle calls it). And it's not really that weird-- like the Ava Bean. Very tasty. And then there's the "road side spinach with that long Nauhtl name". It's a weed, but I tastes exactly like spinach. And, if you ever seen corn smut on live corn plants, that stuff is more delicious than any mushroom or truffle.

And I like everything hot-- even my candy.

At 6/19/05 04:53 AM, spamishfli wrote:

At 6/19/05 04:42 AM, -LazyDrunk- wrote: ... not beef n tortillas.

. . . And, if you ever seen corn smut. . .

Interesting. What exactly is this 'corn smut'? I'd try google-ing it, but I'm afraid of the results.

And I like everything hot

Ditto. Sometimes I wonder why salsa companies ever bother to make mild versions. I mean, what the fuck? If I want tomato paste on your chip/taco/burrito, I'll pop a can of tomato paste and dump it on. Don't try calling that shit salsa.

-- even my candy.

I'm kinda partial to the chocolate-flavored morsels. . . but if they could make a spicy chocolate, I'd probably love it.

At 6/19/05 04:53 AM, spamishfli wrote: Mexican food is variable. Since Mexico has tons of regions, you see a variety. Some Mexicans never had a taco with beef.

BLASPHEMY!!!

So you live in San Jose. I got a question. Is there a place there called San Jose Tacqueria? Cause near where I live in San Rafael theres a place called that so I was kinda wondering...

At 6/19/05 04:42 AM, -LazyDrunk- wrote: Well, that probably is closer than the accepted flowing-haired Anglo version.

Yeah, Jesus weren't white damnit!

This is a BBC impresson of what Jesus most likely looked like.

At 6/19/05 03:44 AM, spamishfli wrote: Funny, but true story.

I will not sleep today.

At 6/19/05 01:21 PM, Empanado wrote:

At 6/19/05 03:44 AM, spamishfli wrote: Funny, but true story.

I will not sleep today.

Oh c'mon Empanado--
Don't llamas need friendship too?

At 6/19/05 10:29 AM, SkyCube wrote: Yeah, Jesus weren't white damnit!

This is a BBC impresson of what Jesus most likely looked like.

Of course Jesus wasn't white, but he wasn't "black". He was arabic. And I bet he was a lot hotter than that picture.

What? HE WAS THE SON OF GOD! HE HAD TO BE HOT!

At 6/19/05 03:05 PM, LadyGrace wrote: What? HE WAS THE SON OF GOD! HE HAD TO BE HOT!

should put that pic on HOTORNOT.com - see if they agree "Jesus He's Hot!!"