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Er, I meant that in the most light-hearted of ways, of course.

On a completely unrelated matter, do you guys know what's the killing fashion in Milan and Paris? Not banning people! It's what hip these days.

I learned something today, when you place two six foot halogen light tubes in an industrial sized trash compactor you should stand back a bit.

At 6/2/05 06:05 PM, BeFell wrote: I learned something today, when you place two six foot halogen light tubes in an industrial sized trash compactor you should stand back a bit.

Did your head explode? Did it involve pie?

At 6/2/05 06:05 PM, BeFell wrote: I learned something today, when you place two six foot halogen light tubes in an industrial sized trash compactor you should stand back a bit.

How close where you standing? Those things exlplode if you drop them on the floor from a foot high. And the shards go fucking everywhere (grubbles remembering having to sweep one up at work).

At 6/2/05 06:07 PM, Empanado wrote:

At 6/2/05 06:05 PM, BeFell wrote: I learned something today, when you place two six foot halogen light tubes in an industrial sized trash compactor you should stand back a bit.

Did your head explode? Did it involve pie?

MMMMMMMMMMMMM............Pie.

At 6/1/05 08:56 PM, fenrus1989 wrote: blah blah blah

*crazy brits*

___

RE: MEN VS. WOMEN
No, Proteas was right. Well, partially right. It is also because Befell is a Man. More importantly, it's because they're both human.

You could... say... waste a page or two posting touchy-feelie crap about emotions and getting in touch with </blah /blah /blah>

Skunk said it best. He shall now be quoted, for the sake of great justice.

At 6/2/05 01:52 AM, red_skunk wrote: I get so sick and tired of this sort of bullshit. If women are such illogical half-wits, why don't all of you just fag each other and take them out of the equation? Maybe I've just been really lucky, but in my experience both sexes are equally stupid and pathetic.

HAI EMPANDO! HOW WAS YOUR VACATION?

So, listening to Radiogrounds has its benefits. I just got a CD I won off Shok's radio show. Fisherspooner - Odessy. It rules. And I WIN! YOU LOSE! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

London mince pie involved. na that's funny

I guess I am the bloomin' only cockney speaker 'ere .

At 6/2/05 07:36 PM, LadyGrace wrote: So, listening to Radiogrounds has its benefits. I just got a CD I won off Shok's radio show. Fisherspooner - Odessy. It rules. And I WIN! YOU LOSE! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Plus you get more college rock than the mid 90's themselves could stand

At 6/2/05 06:28 PM, totalwar wrote:

At 6/2/05 06:05 PM, BeFell wrote: I learned something today, when you place two six foot halogen light tubes in an industrial sized trash compactor you should stand back a bit.

The dust that comes out of them burns your eyes too.

At 6/2/05 07:35 PM, TheShrike wrote:

At 6/1/05 08:56 PM, fenrus1989 wrote: blah blah blah

*crazy brits*

May your death be long and painful :-)

hey man i am a brit don't yell at me yell at him

At 6/2/05 08:25 PM, fenrus1989 wrote: hey man i am a brit don't yell at me yell at him

I thought I did, meh, anyway, whilst we're on the topic of Britian....

At 6/2/05 08:17 PM, stafffighter wrote:

Plus you get more college rock than the mid 90's themselves could stand

Everybody knows that the best rock of the 90s came out of the UK.

The list (in no perticular order)

Blur
Oasis
The Verve
Pulp
Coldplay
Travis
Billy Bragg
Fat Boy Slim (proof that Americans can't mix)
Manic St Preachers
Embrace
Radiohead
Supergrass
Super Furry Animals
Stone Roses
Sterophonics
Chemical Brothers
Placebo
AND THE REST

The above list is just for the 90s. I havent even mentioned The Kinks, Kasabian, U2 or any other artists that have come out before or after the "sacred time"

All of these bands/artists are better than anything that came out of the USA at that time
Possibly one or two exceptions, but I can't think of ant at the moment.

Hey BCC, glad to see you're still around.
The PC fell apart while I was on sabbatical for a month of two. We had peaked in our interest with the BWS Affair and things began to drop off. In retrospect, it wasn't a good time for me to disappear.

If you're looking into starting the old gang up again, I'd be glad to get involved. Let me know- I haven't changed my sig since then. Still the PC one Shrike made for me.

Isnt Sterophonics from new Zeland? And Coldplay blows.

I can't believe someone just said that the UN is just a meeting of allt he rich powerful nations and essentially the same as the G8 so it should also be protested. Yeah it has the same members as the G8, plus another 140ish.

At 6/2/05 09:44 PM, JusticeofSarcasm wrote: Isnt Sterophonics from new Zeland?

No, they're from scotland. And they rule. >: ( I think Coldplay is good. I like relaxing to them. But they're not as good as FISHERSPOONER!!!!

>_>
<_<

At 6/2/05 09:44 PM, JusticeofSarcasm wrote: Isnt Sterophonics from new Zeland? And Coldplay blows.

I can't believe someone just said that the UN is just a meeting of allt he rich powerful nations and essentially the same as the G8 so it should also be protested. Yeah it has the same members as the G8, plus another 140ish.

it's set up so taht only the rich nations have any importance, like the security council. there are many members, yes, but most of the poor countries are pretty much ignored in the general assembly unless they have oil or the US has invaded them. but i mean, think of it like this in the UN headquarters in NYC, there's a graph on one of the walls of a triangle, and the triangle represents all the defense spending by all of the major powers int he world. and it shows how much of that triangle it would take to solve world famine, ignorance, end poverty, bring all 3rd world nations up to speed. etc.. and the graph was not even filled when all the major world problems were covered.

At 6/2/05 10:03 PM, MALforPresident wrote: it's set up so taht only the rich nations have any importance, like the security council. there are many members, yes, but most of the poor countries are pretty much ignored in the general assembly unless they have oil or the US has invaded them.

Not true. The developing nations are far mroe powerful in the GA then the rich countries. There have been many instances where even by threating to bring somethign to the GA the west has responded to demands. One case was in exchange for allowing an economic issue to be dealt with in the WTO and not the UN the rich countries caved to some demands of a band of I think like 70 odd developing nations.

At 6/2/05 05:38 PM, Empanado wrote:

At 6/2/05 03:42 PM, senior_aztlan wrote: I was doing an Empanado while I was making this thread.

You're so going to regret that last message of yours when I become the ultimate supreme leader of the world.

And my name's not Pablo. It's Juan. Juan Pablo. Bob. Llama. Fuck you, fuck your shit in your fucking cock-sucking fuckingness. Fuck.

Juan Pablo?
Damn. I was guessing. But you could go by Pablo...

Eh. I'm Cruz Enrique... but I don't guy by Cruz. But I could if I wanted to.

At 6/2/05 10:14 PM, JusticeofSarcasm wrote: Not true. The developing nations are far mroe powerful in the GA then the rich countries. There have been many instances where even by threating to bring somethign to the GA the west has responded to demands. One case was in exchange for allowing an economic issue to be dealt with in the WTO and not the UN the rich countries caved to some demands of a band of I think like 70 odd developing nations.

my pessimistic view of the UN still stands. but just because a few issues are taken seriously, how come nobody helped sudan this past year? how come nobody will clear all the landmines out of vietnam and the mid-east? how come nobody will lower the national debt developing countries owe?

At 6/2/05 04:14 AM, jmaster306 wrote: So I'm wondering if I'm alone in that I have alot more girl friends then guy friends.

This is probably going to shock LG right out of her chair, but you're not alone in that situation. I'm the same way. I'm more comfortable around women than I am men, despite my personal opinion that a lot of women (not all) are psychotic. I just do more listening than I do talking when I'm in the company of women.... which is probably the reason why I have so many friends of the opposite sex. That, and I'm very mature for my age.

At 6/2/05 03:53 PM, Elfer wrote: I'm going to have to type this shit up later, too. Damn it.

Even Bob Hope had to read off cue cards from time to time... don't feel bad about it.

At 6/2/05 06:05 PM, BeFell wrote: I learned something today, when you place two six foot halogen light tubes in an industrial sized trash compactor you should stand back a bit

You think? ;-D

Oh... and here's a new signature pic if anybody wants it.

At 6/2/05 10:36 PM, Proteas wrote:

At 6/2/05 03:53 PM, Elfer wrote: I'm going to have to type this shit up later, too. Damn it.

Even Bob Hope had to read off cue cards from time to time... don't feel bad about it.

I don't feel bad about that. Hell, at my show, I had a list with a bunch of words to remind me of the jokes I had written.

The thing that annoys me is the amount of time it consumes, especially during the initial writing, because i have to concentrate and not forget any part of the joke.

Which is annoying, because people like to interrupt me with all sorts of irrelevant, unimportant shit at every waking moment, or else they interrupt me with "HEY, WRITING A JOKE? WHAT'S IT ABOUT"

They don't seem to realize that I don't write jokes, I write jokes DOWN when I think of them. Which means if they interrupt me, it could fuck things up severely, because jokes are hard to remember if they aren't written down somewhere.

At 6/2/05 10:46 PM, Elfer wrote: They don't seem to realize that I don't write jokes, I write jokes DOWN when I think of them. Which means if they interrupt me, it could fuck things up severely, because jokes are hard to remember if they aren't written down somewhere.

you could make a joke about it or something

"so as you know, i tell jokes *snickers goes the crowd* and well, when i think of a joke i have to write it down. what i hate is when some jackass decides to ask me if i'm writing a joke down. and then i lose my concentration, next thing i nkow there's blood all over the room, there are sirens in the distance and that said jackass is now gone...ANd i forgot my joke *crowd goes wild*"

You know, after my last show, I wrote a joke about a guy who tried to tell me a good joke to do.

"So, what's the deal with girls at ice cream parlours always mentioning how strong their wrists are getting? Why are they telling me? I don't know. In fact, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Some guy at my last performance told me to do a joke about it. Then he started saying something about penises. I think that's when I left."

As for your joke, well, I guess it's ok, but it's really not my style. Either that or I just don't like to turn every mundane event in my life into a joke. Actually, that's not true. I turn the MOST mundane things in my life into jokes.

Remember that long-ass joke? That's a joke about the phrase "viewer discretion is advised"

I think the joke interruption thing, if I did anything about it, would be a joke where I draw a bizarre analogy to help the audience understand my predicament.

Inspriation hasn't really struck me, so this will suck, but it's my best attempt.
People like to interrupt me every damn time I write down a joke. Stop doing that. Interruptions make it too easy to break concentration and forget a joke. It's like if a person is running a race, you set off a firecracker to distract them, then replace the track with broken glass and alligators.

At 6/2/05 10:46 PM, Elfer wrote: They don't seem to realize that I don't write jokes, I write jokes DOWN when I think of them. Which means if they interrupt me, it could fuck things up severely, because jokes are hard to remember if they aren't written down somewhere.

There are so many smart ass things you can do in that situation that it's not even funny... the one thing that comes to my mind though is to give an onstage orgami showcase when asked what you're doing. Just wad up a piece of paper into a ball, yell "Origami Boulder" and bounce it off the heckler's head.

At 6/2/05 10:53 PM, MALforPresident wrote: crowd goes wild*"

that joke reminds me of a speech I had to listen to for public speaking once... the guy did his speech on mental illness, and started off by saying "Have you ever woken up to find the walls spattered in blood, a trail of mutilated dead bodies leading to you, a bloody chainsaw in one hand, and no memory of the night before? You may be exhibiting the classic signs of schizophrenia..."

At 6/2/05 11:13 PM, Proteas wrote: There are so many smart ass things you can do in that situation that it's not even funny... the one thing that comes to my mind though is to give an onstage orgami showcase when asked what you're doing. Just wad up a piece of paper into a ball, yell "Origami Boulder" and bounce it off the heckler's head.

i had a paper fight with my friend today. for some reason he threw a few sheets of paper at me. so i ran to the computer lab, took the paper try out, tookt he paper from it, ran to the auditorium and while he was not noticing i just threw it all at him.

At 6/2/05 10:53 PM, MALforPresident wrote: crowd goes wild*"

that joke reminds me of a speech I had to listen to for public speaking once... the guy did his speech on mental illness, and started off by saying "Have you ever woken up to find the walls spattered in blood, a trail of mutilated dead bodies leading to you, a bloody chainsaw in one hand, and no memory of the night before? You may be exhibiting the classic signs of schizophrenia..."

i was singing to myself while hanging with my friends and we were walking down the street and i'm a few strides behind everyone else, just singing along and being my normal weird self
and my friend said "they say a common sign of schizophrenia is singing and talking to oneself" and i laughed.

then again, as long as you don't wake up naked in a bathtub filled with ice, and a large black man naked sitting on the toilet telling you how great you weret he night before...its okay..

some friend of mine recently just walked up to me and said "i appreciate you as a human being because you're so great!" and i say to her "what, am i on suicide watch or something by the town, why are you so nice?" and she got all sentamental for a second and said "because you take the bad parts of your life and are able to laugh about it by making it a joke" i think what triggered my friend's niceness was my jokes about my parents recent divorce paper stuff and my dad getting served, and when i told her this i had a smile on my face and was joking about my homelife.

they say some use jokes as a way of avoiding certain hardships in their lives

At 6/2/05 08:46 PM, LeapOfFaith wrote: Everybody knows that the best rock of the 90s came out of the UK.

The list (in no perticular order)
Pulp
Travis
Billy Bragg
Manic St Preachers
Embrace
Supergrass
Super Furry Animals
Stone Roses
Sterophonics
Chemical Brothers
Placebo
AND THE REST

This is the part of the list I've never even heard of. Not a single one of those bands has had a song played within earsot of me. And Radiohead (I know I'll get flak for this but fuck it) sucks. As for better American bands Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Sound Garden, Garbage, and Stone Temple Pilots are some easy examples. Yes Britian had some good bands but fact of the matter is that America (at least for a long time into the future) while put out more great bands to the masses because the labels are here and we're bigger than all other developed nations that speaks English as a first or second language.

At 6/2/05 07:35 PM, TheShrike wrote: HAI EMPANDO! HOW WAS YOUR VACATION?

It would've been better if I hadn't caught the flu. And this time, it's like THE flu. Like, some ninja flu. Curtailing my wishes to go out and find a life, with its flu-katana of doom.

At 6/2/05 10:14 PM, senior_aztlan wrote: Juan Pablo?
Damn. I was guessing. But you could go by Pablo...

Meeh. I was a Juan Pablo before the name got all sold out and all the posers were into it. Actually, I don't like going by Juan Pablo, 'cause it's just too snobbish. I just go by Juan. Funny thing is, nobody likes to go by Juan because "There are too many Juans", but they don't realize that the "too many" Juans don't like being Juans either, so they go by their middle names, or both. So I'm the only Juan, which kicks ass.

Eh. I'm Cruz Enrique... but I don't guy by Cruz. But I could if I wanted to.

You're the first guy I know that has "Cruz" for first name. Or middle name, while at it.
I guess that just further proves my theory that Latin America is really fucking far from being the same culture. Like, you know, Ecuatorians. Those have weird names.

At 6/2/05 10:46 PM, Elfer wrote: (stuff about jokes)

Y'know, you're probably already doing this, but you could organize your jokes so you can easily remember one after another, y'know, to make the thing flow better. For example, you start with some joke about girls. Then you hop into lesbian jokes, then homosexuality, then religion, then Republicans, Democrats, politicians, and you end up with some joke about, I don't know, just Canadians. Try to make a small joke when passing from one topic to another, so people don't get that "Now he's totally changing the subject" feeling.

But that's just me, and I'm just some Captain Obvious.

At 6/3/05 01:29 AM, Empanado wrote: You're the first guy I know that has "Cruz" for first name. Or middle name, while at it.
I guess that just further proves my theory that Latin America is really fucking far from being the same culture. Like, you know, Ecuatorians. Those have weird names.

My father was born on "Santa Cruz's" day, and so my grandma gave him that calender name. And "Enrique" after his aunt, Enriquetta (I think that's right).

Then I was born, and he gave me his complete first name.

My poor mom. She's Olegaria, after the feminine form of the male saint's name. If she was born a day before or after, she would have a regular name.

And I guess your right.
I was going to name my son, Che. Or Cuauhtemoc.
It coulda been Tenoch--

I wouldn't

I realized that Maus has the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen...