Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

Common name - Historic Flu
Scientific name - Quantiniumleapis
Main Symptoms - Sneezing to the past, unsignificant periods of time, learning
Additional Symptoms - Death, change of present time
Cures - Pay attention in History class
Other info - Have fun learning randomly

nosearchbaritis

symptoms- infected person does not use the search bar to find topics.

cure- a good old ban or if you know an infected person, a good old smack upside the head will do nicely

Common name - Lazy Dick
Scientific name - LA-Z Bastard syndrome
Main Symptoms - Lack of activity, sleeping over 9 hours a night, unability to work, laziness to do anything, even sex.
Additional Symptoms - Results in male's penis to become floppy for over a week, even if symptoms aren't chronic.
Cures - Getting off your ass, even to take a shit
Other info - 95% of Americans have Chronic Lazy Dick Syndrome.

Common name - People Lag
Scientific name - Peoplius Lagium
Main Symptoms - You will move slower than usual every minute you are awake.
Additional Symptoms - Speed and energy will decrese by 25% for every one hour you stay awake.
Cures - Sleep for 10 minutes for every hour, drink lots and lots of Rootbeer.
Other info - Sickness exists because of lack of memory.

Common name -death
Scientific name -death
Main Symptoms -you die
Additional Symptoms -you die
Cures -none, lol
Other info -you just fucking die, ok

Common name - Alpha snakes on a hard drive
Scientific name - Alphabetial snake on a hard drive
Main Symptoms - Hard drive spouting the quote "iv had it with these mother fucking alphabetical snakes on this mother fucking hard drive!"
Additional Symptoms - None
Cures - Giving your NG account to abcd0snake
Other info - Pies are made in an oven.

Common name - secksitis
Scientific name - semenitis
Main Symptoms - no secks
Additional Symptoms - can't masturbate
Cures - RAPE
Other info - one can still have secks with a person of the same gender

Common name - ITA
Scientific name - In The Ass
Main Symptoms - Red ass
Additional Symptoms - ripping at the but hole
Cures -stop being gay
Other info- Weed

Common name - Ebaums virus
Scientific name - Ebauminitaus
Main Symptoms - You start to worship ebaum.
Additional Symptoms - You start stealing content.
Cures - Spending enough time on good ol' newgrounds.
Other info - Hi

Common name - Leprechaun Penis
Scientific name - Decideodous Iteanius
Main Symptoms - Your genitals shrink to about 1/100 the regular size
Additional Symptoms - You might get a rare but serious yeast infection
Cures - A spoonfull of sugar
Other info - UR GAY!!111!

Common name - 'Kelly
Scientific name - R-Kelly, Genus 5
Main Symptoms - Small bladder; the excessive need to urinate on someone; the excessive need to wear a mask.
Additional Symptoms - The need to find 14 year old girls.
Cures - Jail time.
Other info - Spread through urine.

Common name - radrium
Scientific name - radium-dilucious
Main Symptoms - Severe bloody vomiting and severe bloody diahrea
Additional Symptoms - Fever, rash on arms, legs and back
Cures - (chicken soup - unconfirmed) 5 direct injections into your back or wait 48 hours
Other info - Last's for 48 hours naturally

Common name - Penis puke
Scientific name - penispukus
Main Symptoms - Your splooge becomes thick, orange, smelly, and chunky
Additional Symptoms - Anal warts
Cures - Castration
Other info - STD

Common name - Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Scientific name - Peanut Paste Gelitan Time
Main Symptoms - The constant need of the combination of peanut butter, jelly and bread.
Additional Symptoms - Turning into a dancing banana.
Cures - Eat the combination of peanut butter, onions and bread.
Other info - The portal is infected with it. Beware Newgrounds users!

Common name - Owned
Scientific name - ownrdicle
Main Symptoms - Owns your computer bad ass
Additional Symptoms - Download gay porn and more
Cures - destroy your computer
Other info - don't PM me about this

Common name: The Fag
Scientific name: Fagoritus
Main symptoms: Makes you have an instatiable hunger for penises
additional symptoms: May want to stick wang in mans asshole and correct Fashion Faux Paux's.
Cure: put dick in boiling water for 15 minutes, then chop it off.
Info: Im not homophobic just bored atm -_-

Common name: Akumitis
Scientific name: Shin Goku Satsu
Main symptoms: Unstoppable urge to play Street Fighter
Additional symptoms: 4 hit combos
Cure: Cross your fingers and hope it goes away
Info: Don't look at me, I suffer from it!

um... (lol)

Common name - apple-tron-o-diesese
Scientific name -apple diesese
Main Symptoms - makes yoru computer hate you
Additional Symptoms - never lets you get on your computer
Cures - bring it a can of root-beer
Other info -you get it, when you don't feed it every 11 hours on the hour

Common name - N00b.
Scientific name - n00biviticus maximus
Main Symptoms - Excessive bad grammar, spelling, and pointless threads.
Additional Symptoms -Horrible insults.
Cures - 12 Guage Shotgun, Alternatively, Becoming mature.
Other info - People infected with the n00b virus tend to be under the age of 14.

Common name - VIrus
Scientific name -The Grim Reaver
Main Symptoms - Scans U and then determines what kind of porn u hate then store over 10gb into ur hardrive of that specifc porn
Additional Symptoms - puts millions of adware into ur browser
Cures - A New Computer
Other info - None wants this virus

i don't know of any viruses, but you can set a comp on fire with a 3-1/2 diskette! take it apart slowly, to ensure you can put it back together, and there will be the outer case, 2pieces of coth, and the other outer case. , in between the piece of cloth, will be this black pice of plastic that holds the information. if your grind up a bunch of blue headed matches into a powder, put it on evenly, cover with clear nail polish, put it all back together after letting dry over night, and seal up the edges with more nail polish so it wont fall apart, when you put it into a comp, the lazer will try to read the info off the black plastic, heatup the match dust and set it on fire. it'll soon melt the inner plastic of the somp and then set that on fire. >:D

Common name - Noobiness
Scientific name - Noobius 1337ius
Main Symptoms - Act dumb, gets flamed and banned from every forum.
Additional Symptoms - Writes stuff in 1337 and other nooby languages.
Cures - None
Other info - L0L 73y 4r3 dumb

Common name -

Marijuana

Scientific name -

The Cannabis

Main Symptoms -

Kills PC's brain cells

Additional Symptoms -

Your PC monitors starts hallucinating

Cures -

Cancer

Other info -

It's illegal.

You should know that canabis is a cure for people having chronicle deseases.
If you use canabis (pure, without tabaco) once every 2/3 months it's in fast GOOD for you're health. Don't think i'm lieing (i'm from the netherland)

Common name - bloo_apple
Scientific name - blockshadowdominican. a.p.p
Main Symptoms - your body turns to sour candy
Additional Symptoms - your eyes turn into little gumdrops
Cures - none
Other info - i dont want to write any more