Forum Topic: "the Terror." (a Bbs Story)

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Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:01 PM

Monocrom DARK LEVEL 32

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Posts: 9,255

I'd like to dedicate this story to all my buddies on NG (you know who you are) and to the ladies who agreed to be in it.

*This tale is going to get a bit graphic. For those with strong stomachs only. You've been warned! Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Little Precious.
____________________________

Her name was Noon-e. She was born 6 months ago, at exactly 12 noon. Her older sister, the International Supermodel known as tigerkitty put an "e" on the end of it; so it would sound just like "cutie." The adorable little thing would laugh everytime someone called her by her nickname. (No one thought for a moment that she had gas).

On this night, she slept soundly. By the door stood a young, slender man. He had carefully snuck into the mansion by the hole in the fence...... the one that STILL had not been repaired; after all these months. He knew the backdoor was usually kept open. (Noon-e's older brother Metalix liked to stay out late, and often forgot his house keys). Getting past the security guards was no problem at all. He knew when the shift-change took place. The guards on the weekend shift worked 12 hours instead of the usual eight. They didn't care who relieved them, just as long as he had on a uniform. And that wasn't difficult to get; since it consisted of black shoes, grey pants and a Navy blue blazer.

Now the intruder stood in her room. "Too easy," he thought to himself. He reached into the small duffel bag he brought with him. As he stepped closer to her crib, he placed the white teddy bear next to her. Before he left the room, he placed a card on the small dresser near the door. On it, it read:

"From your cousin, KittyToastClock. Happy 6th month Anniversary.
HUGS & HAPPINESS......... P.S. Your dad's an idiot.
Much Love, KTC."

The next day, quite a few security changes took place..........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bobby Jenkins walked down the street and entered the little diner on the corner. Midnight was fast approaching. Soon she saw Jade exiting the hotel across the street, and climb into a black BMW M3 sedan. It slowly pulled away from the curb. Bobby Jenkins looked at her watch.

"Five, four, three, two, one, and now."

The sound of sirens could be heard as several police cruisers pulled up to the hotel. "Right on time, boys." She said to herself. She knew what had happened just half an hour earlier. She took out the little device that looked like a cellphone. "SOAS is going to be happy." She thought to herself.

Jade had a reputation for always getting the job done. She had escorted the middle-aged Senator up to the cheap hotel room. She smiled and giggled at his corny jokes.

"I've got a surprise for you," said Jade with a smile. "You've been a naughty Senator."
"Yes I have!" He smiled.

Jade took off his clothing. All the senator had on was a pair of boxers....... and an obvious boner. Jade tied the senator to a chair, and began to slowly take off her jacket. As she began to undo the top button on her blouse, Jade quickly lost interest. "Awww, fuck this!" She said, as she reached behind her back; and pulled out the cheap "Made in Pakistan" dagger out of its sheath. She then stabbed him in the throat. She pulled up another chair, and watched him die. The gurgling sounds coming out of his throat, the kind that most folks would classify as "sickening," didn't bother her.

Before leaving, Jade placed a large, brown envelope containing several letters, photos, and documents on the bed. The words "Read Me," were clearly visible on the envelope. This was one job that Jade The Assassin would have gladly taken for free. She did find it odd that part of her instructions were to get the job done within a certain set amount of time, on this particular date.

The biggest headline the next day wasn't about the death of the senator, or even how he was found nearly naked; still sporting a boner and with a cheap dagger stuck in his throat....... It was about how he used his influence to smuggle young Asian girls into America. Sweatshop labor is one thing, but the girls were turned into sex slaves. The officer who had found the evidence in the envelope nearly threw-up on the crime scene.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sarai walked out of the Police Station. She had played the part of a whore quite well.......... well enough to bust more John's than any other police woman who worked as a decoy. But the last one had gotten rough. Sarai didn't want to admit that her thumb injury could end her chances of promotion. But the NYPD insisted that officers be able to fire their sidearms. Those who couldn't? They ended up riding a desk until the day they retired. The bandage had just come off her thumb. Sarai headed for the gun range on 20 West 20th street, the only professional gun range left on Manhattan Island. She prayed that she could still shoot straight........


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AarghCat

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:04 PM

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Posts: 3,555

I love it, the whole thing. Also, I like the role you've put me in.

ø

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Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:29 PM

Monocrom DARK LEVEL 32

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At 8/25/06 12:04 PM, KittyToastClock wrote: I love it, the whole thing. Also, I like the role you've put me in.

Glad to hear it buddy.

I'm hoping to get some constructive criticism from other NGers.


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tigerkitty

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:44 PM

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fuzzies

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:46 PM

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Posts: 5,465

Pretty good. Write more. :]

instant message me
AIM - hellooo halo

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LampLava

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:47 PM

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Posts: 45

I like it. Bookmarked.


Shouting

Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:53 PM

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At 8/25/06 12:46 PM, toxygen wrote: Pretty good. Write more. :]

I will!

Chapter 2 = Later on Today!

Chapter 3 = Wed.


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Trendwhore

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:53 PM

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Posts: 2,668

Well i guess you've laid the ground for a decent story. Follow up.


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ThrowTheGrenade1

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Posted at: 8/25/06 12:55 PM

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Posts: 125

I'm excluded from this story? I feel very very bad.


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JadeTheAssassin

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Posted at: 8/25/06 01:14 PM

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Lol, I'm such a tease. :D

Good so far, I'm captivated and wanting more. Just a quick question--is that how the chapters are going to be (split into several parts)? Curiousity kills me. :)

Tsukino Usagi of the NG /a/ {Sig by Carbon (thanks, brah)}
Wild and bereft:
Assassin is born.

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Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 01:53 PM

Monocrom DARK LEVEL 32

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At 8/25/06 01:14 PM, JadeTheAssassin wrote: Just a quick question--is that how the chapters are going to be (split into several parts)? Curiousity kills me. :)

LOL ....... You're the one doing the killing!

All the parts come together, then split again, then come together....... Everything is in my head! It all makes sense in the end. :)

P.S. - That's nothing, you should of seen how I had you kill him in my first draft........ But I was afraid Sam would be forced to lock & delete the thread. >:D


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JadeTheAssassin

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Posted at: 8/25/06 01:55 PM

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At 8/25/06 01:53 PM, Monocrom wrote:
At 8/25/06 01:14 PM, JadeTheAssassin wrote: Just a quick question--is that how the chapters are going to be (split into several parts)? Curiousity kills me. :)
LOL ....... You're the one doing the killing!

Oh, witty! :D

All the parts come together, then split again, then come together....... Everything is in my head! It all makes sense in the end. :)

Okie. I was just wondering. :)

P.S. - That's nothing, you should of seen how I had you kill him in my first draft........ But I was afraid Sam would be forced to lock & delete the thread. >:D

Ohohohohohoh, do you have a copy of the first draft so I can see how I kill him? :D PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!

Tsukino Usagi of the NG /a/ {Sig by Carbon (thanks, brah)}
Wild and bereft:
Assassin is born.

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BobbyJenkins

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Posted at: 8/25/06 02:17 PM

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Posts: 5,839

Well that was just pure juicy sex in letter form.

I am very much impressed, to be honest, I didn't expect it to be that good. I'm glad I'm in it. Awesome Jade action there. I seriously cannot wait to read the next part.

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ThrowTheGrenade1

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Posted at: 8/25/06 02:22 PM

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At 8/25/06 02:17 PM, Bobby_Jenkins wrote: Well that was just pure juicy sex in letter form.

I am very much impressed, to be honest, I didn't expect it to be that good. I'm glad I'm in it. Awesome Jade action there. I seriously cannot wait to read the next part.

You're just happy because you are in the story.


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Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 02:27 PM

Monocrom DARK LEVEL 32

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At 8/25/06 01:55 PM, JadeTheAssassin wrote:
At 8/25/06 01:53 PM, Monocrom wrote:
P.S. - That's nothing, you should of seen how I had you kill him in my first draft........ But I was afraid Sam would be forced to lock & delete the thread. >:D
Ohohohohohoh, do you have a copy of the first draft so I can see how I kill him? :D PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!

Awww........ How can I say no to you? Also, I like your enthusiasm. :)

I had to change it because your character would need too much time to clean herself up........ and it's not what you think!

Check your Inbox.......


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JadeTheAssassin

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Posted at: 8/25/06 02:32 PM

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Posts: 13,328

At 8/25/06 02:27 PM, Monocrom wrote:
At 8/25/06 01:55 PM, JadeTheAssassin wrote:
At 8/25/06 01:53 PM, Monocrom wrote:
Awww........ How can I say no to you? Also, I like your enthusiasm. :)

I had to change it because your character would need too much time to clean herself up........ and it's not what you think!

Check your Inbox.......

Just read it--gory and sexy and awesome. :)
Thanks for sending it to me.

Oh man, this will definitely be an awesome story to read.

Tsukino Usagi of the NG /a/ {Sig by Carbon (thanks, brah)}
Wild and bereft:
Assassin is born.

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Happy

Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 02:43 PM

Monocrom DARK LEVEL 32

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Posts: 9,255

At 8/25/06 02:17 PM, Bobby_Jenkins wrote: I am very much impressed, to be honest, I didn't expect it to be that good. I'm glad I'm in it. Awesome Jade action there. I seriously cannot wait to read the next part.

I appreciate your honesty. I really do.

The truth is, I have several stories kicking around in my head. Mostly short stories, but a few novel-length ones. To be honest, a handful are really good. So I took the best one I have.......... and wrote a SEQUEL for it, using NGers! That's what you're reading now!

Chapter 2, later on tonight! >:)


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Sarai

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Posted at: 8/25/06 05:21 PM

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Posts: 7,364

Lovely, I like the level of description you've got in your story, it's nice to have a chapter kind of feel rather than the rushed stories that a lot of people put out. I look forward to shooting Jade at a later date... And taking Fyndir all for myself ;-)

Well written and could be a riveting plot!

Thanks for the story, this is why I like NG :)

Take care!

xx

The Newgrounds O-Ren-Ishii but with a nicer smile and still alive

Please read, leave constructive criticism, make a girl happy. Thanks :)

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Metalix

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Posted at: 8/25/06 05:34 PM

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Damn, I'm impressed! :D I can't wait for the next one! :)

wat

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cornbin

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Posted at: 8/25/06 05:39 PM

cornbin FAB LEVEL 25

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Posts: 3,947

Hhmm.Good story. Very entertaining.

I've been Fab since the re-design,have you?
JUST BECAUSE I LISTEN TO COREY HART :'[

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He-Who-Never-Was

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Posted at: 8/25/06 05:45 PM

He-Who-Never-Was EVIL LEVEL 18

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Posts: 8,490

Wheres my racist rally at?

I NEED my racist rally.


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Daddy-L-Jackson

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Posted at: 8/25/06 05:46 PM

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At 8/25/06 02:27 PM, Monocrom wrote:
At 8/25/06 01:55 PM, JadeTheAssassin wrote:
At 8/25/06 01:53 PM, Monocrom wrote:

Awww........ How can I say no to you? Also, I like your enthusiasm. :)

I had to change it because your character would need too much time to clean herself up........ and it's not what you think!

Check your Inbox.......

What was it?
Could you pm me it or just post it up here? Everyone wants to hear it
BTW very good story, so in the first part did he take the baby? I feel like I missed a part, did I?


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Some-Stupid-Idiot

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Posted at: 8/25/06 06:17 PM

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Posts: 8,063

Put me in it plz. I don't even care if you kill me off.

Some-Stupid-Idiot For Mod
Contact Me if you want a sig, I'm still not that good at it but I know what I'm doing.

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AarghCat

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Posted at: 8/25/06 09:39 PM

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Are you done?

ø

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JadeTheAssassin

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Posted at: 8/25/06 09:40 PM

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At 8/25/06 05:21 PM, Sarai wrote: I look forward to shooting Jade at a later date... And taking Fyndir all for myself ;-)

*sniff of disapproval*
I'd like to see you try.

Tsukino Usagi of the NG /a/ {Sig by Carbon (thanks, brah)}
Wild and bereft:
Assassin is born.

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MetalDart

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Posted at: 8/25/06 09:40 PM

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At 8/25/06 12:01 PM, Monocrom wrote: I'd like to dedicate this story to all my buddies on NG (you know who you are)

COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH!!! >:(
You know what you did, but I read it anyway. ;)

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic /777777
http://metaldart.webs.com/ My freewebs website. Check it out dog.
JUST BEAT MEGAMAN 9

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Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 09:50 PM

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Chapter 2: Faust.
_________________

It had been 6 months since KittyToastClock had pointed out the flaws in the New England mansion's security system. He hired professional security guards, made sure they got a real wage, and had a new electronic security system installed. Every door was locked. Master keys or electronic key cards were the only way to open them. And only certain individuals had access to all the rooms.

The entire family was gathered at the large Breakfast table. Tigerkitty had come home for a visit. She craddled Noon-e in her arms as she sat at the table. The little one year-old squealed with glee. Despite being a Supermodel, she sure didn't act like one. There were only two things to do on Noon-e's Birthday. Greeting the new nanny, and enjoying the costume party that the adults had planned. Every guest was to arrive dressed as a Victorian Lady or Gentleman. KittyToastClock thought the whole idea was stupid......

"How the fuck is Security supposed to do its job, when everyone is wearing a freaking mask?!" He thought to himself.

He walked out into the hallway, leaving Tigerkitty, Metalix, Noon-e, and Mom & Dad behind. Opening the doors to the family library, KittyToastClock walked over to the young lady seated at the main desk. Things hadn't gone well for Sarai. She had no problem firing her Department-issue Glock model 17........ But on the last round, the slide would lock open; and the problem began. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't press down on the slide-release without feeling an awful pain in her thumb. She felt like a rookie again. Every rookie learned very quickly that the hardest part of shooting a handgun wasn't the 12 - 14 pound trigger pull on a revolver, but the amount of force needed to release a slide on an autopistol that was locked open, under spring tension.

The only silver lining was this new assignment. Her previous experience as a trained nanny in England was now going to pay off. She would be a nanny with arrest-powers. It was a personal favor, from the Mayor. Turns out that Noon-e's dad was a BIG campaign contributer. All she had to do was keep the baby safe, and take care of it. Very easy for Sarai to pull off. It would only be for a few months, while the family tracked down another highly experienced nanny to take over for the one who retired. If she did a good job, there would be a promotion in it for her. KittyToastClock introduced himself, and told her about Noon-e. He took her to the gun cabinet, and gave her a Smith & Wesson model 10, with a 2-inch barrel, and a shoulder holster for it. The revolver had no slide, thus Sarai's thumb injury was no longer a problem. He also handed her a small taser.......... Turns out, she'd need both sonner than she thought.

Sarai was told to come back later that night; a costume would be ready for her.

"All dressed up........ to go to work!" Sarai couldn't help but smile at that realization. On her way out, she noticed several high-end cars parked in the driveway. The black BMW M3 sedan caught her eye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party was underway when Sarai arrived. She dressed in her "uniform," and went to meet Noon-e. Tigerkitty handed the baby to her. Noon-e smiled, she liked Sarai.

KittyToastClock just couldn't relax. He was dressed up, and also had on a mask. He scanned the ballroom. Everything seemed to be okay. Then he noticed a slender figure, dressed in dark red, with a matching mask that had an elongated nose. He got a weird feeling. He walked up to the figure and introduced himself.

"That's a rather bold costume you have on. Let me guess, you're here as Faust."

The slender figure only nodded. KittyToastClock couldn't tell if it was a friend of the family or a party crasher. He decided to take no chances. "I want to show you something" he said, pretending he knew whom he was speaking to. "I think you'd enjoy it." He began to lead Faust out the ballroom, and continued towards the front door. Things were going well....... until they got near the front door. Suddenly, Faust turned around and a small .22 caliber pistol came out. One round hit KittyToastClock in the stomach. He collapsed. Faust ran directly to Noon-e's room. Opening the door, Faust got hit in the gut with the taser. When Sarai saw the gun in the assassin's hand, she reached up with her other hand, pressed the barrel to Faust's head, and pulled the trigger. Her face was splattered with blood and brains. A piece of Faust's skull had nicked her chin. She saw what had happened downstairs on the CCTV camera in Noon-e's room.

KittyToastClock staggered upstairs. He was relieved to see that the dead body wasn't that of Noon-e. Sarai bent down and removed Faust's mask.

"Do you know who it could be?" She asked.
"Just Some-Stupid-Idiot." He said........ I really wish you had blown his balls off, Sarai."

The ambulance arrived quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SOAS learned immediately that the assassin had failed........ And she was not happy. She yelled into the phone........ "What the fuck is wrong with you! You fucking jackass! Why didn't you send Jade? She got the job done last time! Contact Jade. Or, I'll have your balls floating in my coffee!!!" She slammed the phone down.

"Morons....... morons....... I've got fucking morons on my team!" SOAS looked up from her desk. "Oh, you know I don't mean you."

Bobby Jenkins was seated in front of her.

"So, Sarai is still alive?"
SOAS responded, "Huh?........ Oh yeah! The target is still around. You better get back there......... The Terror is supposed to take place soon. And we can't afford to miss it."

"What exactly is it?" Asked Bobby.
"I have no fucking clue, no one in this Agency has a fucking clue. And Uncle Sam put me in charge of all these fucking morons! .......... All I know is, it's going to be BIG!"


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kirbykiller4

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Posted at: 8/25/06 10:00 PM

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i wish i was in it


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Monocrom

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Posted at: 8/25/06 10:05 PM

Monocrom DARK LEVEL 32

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At 8/25/06 10:00 PM, kirbykiller4 wrote: i wish i was in it

Sorry, all the main parts have been filled.

The only reason I included the last NGer who asked to be in it is because his user name fit perfectly with the scene.


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JadeTheAssassin

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Posted at: 8/25/06 10:10 PM

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Next chapter was awesome. :)
KEEP WRITING, KTHX. I can't wait until the supposed Wednesday for the next chapter. :(

Tsukino Usagi of the NG /a/ {Sig by Carbon (thanks, brah)}
Wild and bereft:
Assassin is born.

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