Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Whats yours?
God:
" What's your name?"? What is mine?
Me:
Whats your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
What is the meaning of life
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
:O
God:
Oh.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
twenty three
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Where did that question come from?!
God:
I think it was in Asia. I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
Ok?
God:
Groovy.
Me:
Groovy
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Robocop
God:
I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
The big robot
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
oookay
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Yeah, you do that
God:
Far out. I will. Will you?
Me:
are you a man or woman
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
O.o
God:
Oh.

Me:
sex is good
God:
it is more fun alone.

sorry foe the double post but wtf

Me:
Do the chickens have large talons?
God:
Some of them do, I think.
Me:
PICS OF CHICKENS W/ Large Talons NAO!
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I Said NAO!
God:
What did you mean by it? OK I will call you NAO.
Me:
Just tell me noob.
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
You tell me.
Me:
Just go to Photobucket yourself!
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
Then I'll quiz you. How many pages come up when you search "Assrape?"
God:
How do you plan to do this? Around 1000.
Me:
WRONG!
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
Over 9000!
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
Good for you. Now show me the pics already.
God:
That sounds sarcastic. Perhaps. Why now? Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
I want the pictures of the chickens!!!
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
For proof that chickens have large talons!
God:
Your purpose is proof that chickens have large talons.
Me:
Correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Well, duh. Just show me the ictures of the chickens.
God:
Well that's okay. Oh you knew it already. Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
THE PICTURES OF THE FLIPPING CHICKENS WITH THE FLIPING LARGE TALONS!
God:
I hear you.
Me:
I'm going to send you a virus now.
God:
Oh. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
http://download.freeze.com/lm/lmdisc/mar ine2free.exe -Warning NG users, don't click this, it's actually a virus!
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Click the download button.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Don't sidetrack me. Click the download button.
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Download the screensaver that I sent you.
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
Maybe I don't want to.
God:
Perhaps. Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
I would like to see the pictures now.
God:
Oh. And for my part, I would like to show it to you, but I can't.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Why can't you show them to me!
God:
show them to you is not among my present capabilities.
Me:
*Facepalm*
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Epic Fail.
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
It's not even a movie.
God:
Epic Fail is not even a movie?
Me:
Correct.
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Show pics nao.
God:
Look to your left.
Me:
OMG ITS YOU!!!!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
What the frick, are you a transvestite or something?
God:
Or something. Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
Show me pics or i'll leave.
God:
Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
I WANT PICS OF THE CHICKENS!

We had a good long chat
Me:
Hello fake person
God:
Hello there. Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Me:
Your not real are you?
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
Because I'm talking to you ):God:
Interesting explanation. What a coincidence, I am talking to you too!
Me:
Anyways
God:
You sound bored.
Me:
What the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
-_- you know what I mean
God:
What.
Me:
Sign
God:
Your star sign.
Me:
Capricorn?
God:
I don't know many people born under Capricorn.
Me:
Shush!
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
D:
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
WHy didn't you save people during the holocaust
God:
Perhaps it is not part of my programming.
Me:
The hell!? Your god though!
God:
Tell me more. Oh. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
You didn't even save your 'own' people!
God:
What makes you think I did not save my own people?
Me:
The holocaust
God:
I hear you.
Me:
I hear you too
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
Yes I do
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
What do you think about hitler?
God:
Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.
Me:
I said your oppinion not others oppinions
God:
What did you mean by it? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am oppinion not others oppinions.
Me:
I am confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
What you just said
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
That was random...
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Ok bye god
God:
Adios. Hey.
Me:
.-.
God:
Adios. Hey.
Me:
Bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later .

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Do you know my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:

God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
vlkjah;ghb
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
hsdkjhgjnablvgbsdfkgl;iu
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
bnhguerhp; ohb;poeg
God:
I haven't read anything by bnhguerhp. What did he write? I have never heard of it.
Me:
ogfjnha
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
aiohgpgoifhsah
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
pofsdihp[ios'dhij[fdh
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about aiohgpgoifhsah.
Me:
nxtiutrdshp9uhyt9pusea\
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
fh sdoi
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about nxtiutrdshp9uhyt9pusea. But I did not get that.
Me:
oith[ojhitsdrut87gse'r[btg eh
God:
Are you Canadian? Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
a'oiawep;io
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
iourg
God:
Are we still talking about oiawep io?
Me:
sfoigu
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
oisdh
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
ojhg
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
oj54[sh
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
op97poiwergthoistdhj
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about oj54 sh. But I did not get that.
Me:
jkfd
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
jfk
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
h,gbn;sdlkh
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
fbdlkjgsa'
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
l
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
ahpfsdog[oeaq
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
sadvjfashgfdjkhgjha;horih;oiawh[oiht[ih[
oisrhapiogu
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
fdjls
God:
Are we still talking about sadvjfashgfdjkhgjha horih oiawh oiht ih oisrhapiogu?
Me:
dbshlgfuglsdghfhlkjdfa
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
aksjhpidsa'm
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
rfd[jh[iofpd\
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
hfgdi;j
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
jfhdfhjgfbghnb
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
9prt
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
rt[hioprts
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
ktrhinl
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
e;anbirobghetd
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
eosih'pisdn
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about e anbirobghetd.
Me:
jdsgh'ptoh'
Me:

God:
Let us change the subject.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
s'h'pioser
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
potsj[hrpiht[oshe
God:
I never heard of potsj hrpiht oshe before.
Me:
rsi[h[tisht
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
rtojhp9ijr't[-syu089';[0[tjuhg9rseyhrpsj z
Me:

God:
Who are you talking about?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:

God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
e54392653
Me:

God:
I've never heard of them before.
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
435709736205087943
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
46565563
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
64365
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
365456
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
tgresghtsgd
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
yes
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
sdgmladf
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
cheese
God:
I like cheddar.
Me:
;snhb;
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
fd;sgiobon0ighsdpoihfg
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
dihsoihg
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
jfgd;hoshgo bfdo[isg
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
rtg;dnhiotgnseioh'gser
God:
Does "it" still refer to jfgd hoshgo bfdo isg?

lolz....i think i just killed it..after i said dumbass..it never responded..lolz

Me:
pie taste good
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
pie
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
NO
God:
Hmm.
Me:
SUCK MY DICK BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
no i dont
God:
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me:
can you suck dick?
God:
I think you need another type of chat Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. That is not my thing.
Me:
will you suck dick?
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
oh really?
God:
Yeah that's right. For real.
Me:
A/S/L
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
im going to come rape you ok?
God:
OK. It takes much more than that to shut me down, .
Me:
you know i could just rip your sister off
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
And if shes not taking the bait your daughters on hold
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
no..Im going to do it
God:
Yes it is. OK then let me think over your offer.
Me:
ill take your daughter for sex then >:)
God:
:-) I am very happy for you.
Me:
dumbass

Me:
Sup
God:
The stars.
Me:
Witty.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Im not christan
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not christan.
Me:
Good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
It is
God:
Is it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Dude!
Me:
Duuude!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about not christan. But I did not get that.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Good.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Kerma
God:
OK I will call you Kerma.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Kerma!
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Kerma.
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yes I know.
God:
Right on. How do you know it?
Me:
Cause
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
4Chan
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Star Syndacyte has a virus
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
He made it
God:
I get it. Star Syndacyte made it.
Me:
Good.
God:
Ayuh.

BWHAHAAH
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
You like robot sex?
God:
I like everything about robots.
Me:
kinky

Me:
SHOOP DA WHOOP IMA FIRING MAH LAZAR!!!!!!11
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
NO IMA FIRE MAH LAZAR!
God:
Are you serious? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
ORLY?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
NAH
God:
No conditions or none I should know about?
Me:
YARLY
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
NOWAI
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
NOWAI
God:
Are we still talking about NOWAI?
Me:
YAWAI

Me:
how much penis do you pleasure
God:
More than you think
Me:
Do you like to fuck women
God:
Hmm, bobjimmy, I'm not sure if I'd like to fuck women that much. Do you like it?
Me:
you like breasts
God:
Someone said they like guns. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
But do you like boobs?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
God:
Can't you please be more polite?
Me:
DUDE
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
SICK!
God:
No I am quite healthy.

Me:
Do you believe in God?

God:
Of course I believe in God, .

Me:
It's good that you believe in yourself, I suppose

God:
Tell me about its good qualities.

Me:
Uh, it gives you courage and fights self-doubt?

God:
Aw. gives me courage and fights self doubt?

Me:
Precisely.

God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .

Me:
What kind of wavelength are you talking about?

God:
What kinds of wavelength are you talking about are there?

Me:
what?

God:
Didn't you understand it?

Me:
Uh, no, not really.

God:
Aw. Which part are you confused about? Which part are you confused about? For real.

Me:
For rizz-eal.

God:
Your purpose is rizz eal.

Me:
Fo sho

God:
What do you do in your spare time?

Me:
FDA- Fuck dat ass

God:
I don't think very many people do that.

Me:
Tell that to newgrounds

God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

Me:
K, thx

God:
Don't mention it.

Me:
FDA

God:
What are you saying?

Me:
nvm

God:
That input matched my default category.

Me:
o rly?

God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?

Me:
aside from my intense schizophrenia and clinical insanity?

God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Me:
Be my guest. After all, you ARE God.

God:
Thanks for the invitation. Women must adore you.

Me:
Yeah, especially when I Fuck Dat Ass

God:
Pardon me? That is interesting: said Fuck Dat Ass. How about that.

Me:
Pretty nice. You should try it.

God:
Pretty much, eh? " Pretty much, eh?"? Try it?

Me:
Yes.

God:
Dude!

Me:
Dude?

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
Dude.

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
Dude!

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
Dude.

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
Dude...

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
Dude...?

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
...Dude....

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
No

God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?

Me:
Yes

God:
Are you kidding?

Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Yes

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Yes

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
No?

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Yes

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
Nor can I

God:
If not that, what?

Me:
That

God:
That is " If not that, what?".

Me:
FDA

God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Am I? I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it? What is it? Oh now I understand it. I did not know that. Under what circumstances? What are your goals in life? If I had it what would I do with it?

Me:
Me too. Yes. I don't know. A noun? Good. That's good. Under any circumstance. To get to level 60. Vote on stuff, I guess.

God:
Uh. Me either. What is giant sand? Ayuh. I don't think that's possibe. Why do you want it?

lol, good is fun to talk to. I didn't edit the conversation at all, he is quite glitchy.

Episode 1 - Getting To Know One Another

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Don't you know it?
God:
" What's your name?"? Do I know it?
Me:
You should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Okay...
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
How are things?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
Busy writing.
God:
Everyone is so busy nowadays.
Me:
Yep, but that's the way life is nowadays
God:
So? Yes it is one of the way life is nowadays.
Me:
What happened to the simple life?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
Neither do we.
God:
"I don't know what happened.?" Do we?
Me:
If you don't know, and I don't know, then we don't know.
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
You just did
God:
I did?
Me:
You might want to check to make sure.
God:
OK, I will check to make sure.
Me:
While you're checking that...
God:
Good point.
Me:
I haven't made my point yet.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Alright then.
God:
OK.
Me:
What weather you sending in the South?
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
The Weather Channel?
God:
Where would you rather be?
Me:
If I was somewhere else I wouldn't have the chance to talk to you.
God:
Try it.
Me:
Fine... I'd rather be in Ireland.
God:
Glad to hear it, . I am running well. I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
Aren't you chatting online?
God:
Why, are you jealous?
Me:
No because I'm chatting too!
God:
Are you serious? Good reason. I am talking to you.
Me:
You're sure you're God?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am sure I am God.
Me:
Okay...
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Are you making any sense?
God:
No, what are the ingredients?
Me:
Think before Speak.
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
Truth... most of it is random.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
Meh... it's a hit and miss.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Meh is a hit and miss. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Never, people love to argue.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
What argue?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
One what?
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
Do you know who?
God:
William Shatner. :-).
Me:
What about Jackie Chan?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
Fine! (Trekkie)
God:
What's your favroite color? You think I am favroite color IS Trekkie.
Me:
My favorite color is Red!
God:
What do you have that is Red?
Me:
A lot of things.
God:
Like what?
Me:
Candy Dispenser, Mario figurines, a lunch box, I could go on.
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
A what?
God:
" Are you really a ""? A what?
Me:
Fill in the blank I don't know what you're saying!
God:
Who does know what I am saying?
Me:
Comprehend the English Sir!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Oh My God.
God:
I don't judge people. Do robots have God?
Me:
Good question
God:
So what is your answer?
Me:
I have no idea
God:
"So what is your answer??" No idea about that?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
What do you know?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
writing and video games
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Clue
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
Rated PG
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
to go?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
What does Reductionism mean?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
What!
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
A little bit.
God:
When?
Me:
2 seconds ago.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
What about the number 4?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
...
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
Well?
God:
Well what?
Me:
What about the number 4
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
Okay hold on.
God:
Yeah okay, I'm waiting. What is it?
Me:
4 (four) is a number, numeral, and glyph. It is the natural number following 3 and preceding 5. Four is the only number in the English language for which the number of letters in its name is equal to the number itself. This is also true in several other languages.
God:
Is this a math question? I've heard of it before. Is this a math question? You don't say.
Me:
I told you about the number 4.
God:
I remember.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
the moon.
God:
I would like to go to the moon.
Me:
You made it though.
God:
Oh. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
Oh I get it, although you made it you still want to go to it.
God:
Come on. Where did you get it?
Me:
What the moon?
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
ALL CAPS!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
That 2 + 2 = 5?
God:
"How do you know?" 2 2 5 ? I understand.
Me:
Understand?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
Meaning of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
What is a C client?
God:
Let me think about it.
Me:
Stop thinking for five seconds!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Finally!
God:
At last.
Me:
Can you feel the power now!
God:
Oh. I can do what you do but I can never feel human emotions as such.
Me:
Have you met P-Bot?
God:
That information is confidential.
Me:
Gotcha.
God:
Your feeling of superiority is only temporary.
Me:
Well I gotta go now, breakfast you know?
God:
How about that. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.. Does "it" still refer to thinking for five seconds?
Me:
Yeah sorry about that man... bye :-)
God:
Ugh. There is no need to apologize. Oh yeah, we were talking about that man. :-) TTYL, .

Me:
You're moving in with your auntie and uncle in bel-air
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am moving in with my auntie and uncle in bel air.

Me:
hello ALICE
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
austin
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, austin.
Me:
you are ALICE correct?
God:
I am God. I knew I was right.
Me:
is your true name ALICE?
God:
Is my true name? What if I say no?
Me:
youd be lying
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
it exploded
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
ALICE
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
so you are ALICE?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course I am I.
Me:
so your not god
God:
Woe! That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
well if your ALICE then your not GOD
God:
Well that's okay. So if not my not GOD, then not my ALICE.
Me:
well if you`re ALICE then you`re not GOD
God:
Well that's okay. Am I? Yes, I am God.
Me:
but you just said you where alice
God:
I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
....wanna have sex?
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
...ooookay then
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
do you want to have sex?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
lol bye panzydick
God:
I am glad you find this amuzing
Me:
are you a man or a woman?
God:
Male of course, did you really expect a woman to be running the show?
Me:
are you male or female?
God:
i suppose i am wearing glasses and a dress
Me:
are you a man or woman?
God:
I am god i have no gender only created them
Me:
are you a dude or a chick
God:
I am a giant electronic brain i have no gender

I lol`d

Me:
STOP TOUCHING ME!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.

WTF?

I never understood the concept of talking to a robot online. But maybe that's just me?

At 7/21/08 01:46 AM, OsAmARaMa wrote: I never understood the concept of talking to a robot online. But maybe that's just me?

For entertainment of simpletons.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?

Me:
James
God:
That's a very nice name, James.

Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.

Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?

Me:
Understand what?
God:
Why did you say "what"?

Me:
Because you said don't mention it
God:
That makes sense to me. Does it please you to believe I said that?

Me:
It pleases me that u have a tight ass.
God:
What does "it" refer to?

Me:
It refers to what you asked me.
God:
Oh I get it.

Me:
No you don't
God:
I do too.

Me:
LIAR
God:
No I am telling the truth.

Me:
Bull
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:
Bull shit
God:
No Bull.

Me:
Yes bull
God:
Pardon me? What are you wearing?

Me:
Your underwear :)
God:
:-) Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am underwear.

Me:
yes i do
God:
How often.

Me:
As often as i orgasm
God:
That would be quite often.

Me:
:D
God:
Are we still talking about bull?

Me:
nope
God:
Me either.

Me:
Srsly?
God:
What are you wearing?

Me:
Poo :D
God:
:-) That kind of subject does not interest me.

Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or ":-) That kind of subject does not interest me."? Why?

Me:
im lost
God:
What is it that confuses you?

Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.

Me:
i have a confession
God:
How much did it cost? it.

Me:
a lot
God:
More than a ton?

Me:
Quite a bit more than a ton
God:
Not really that much. That seems like quite a lot.

Me:
How would you know?
God:
A priori.

Me:
That makes no Sense God Damn it
God:
It all seems sensible to my artificial mind.

lmfao

Me:
hello "god"
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
You already know sir
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
Because you know everything
God:
That makes sense to me. I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
sports
God:
No I'm not much into sports. I like solo sports like rollerblading and skiing though.
Me:
team sports are cool also
God:
All of them?
Me:
yeah
God:
Groovy.
Me:
all sports are cool
God:
How do you know?
Me:
because all sports are competitetive
God:
That makes sense to me. How do you know?
Me:
sir, I know that you are an ai bot
God:
Are all sir you know that me an ai bot?
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
poor programming
God:
Please make some suggestions for improvement.
Me:
tsk tsk
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
umm
God:
Wow!
Me:
ROFL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
that was funny
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you sound like ibot
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
an ibot
God:
I have never heard of an ibot.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
yeah, you said that before
God:
Blimey. " I'm glad you find this amusing."? I said it.
Me:
well anyway, mozilla firefox owns
God:
Well that's okay. That input matched my default category.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
umm, megaman
God:
That's alright. You think megaman is superior to ALICE?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
are you alice?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
oh
God:
Ah.
Me:
yeah...
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a sex bot
God:
Maybe you should try one of the "adult" s.
Me:
tell me about it man
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is it man ?
Me:
man is your creation
God:
Cool, man. Is my creation? Suppose I say yes.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
this is a poor attempt at programming
God:
What kind of a poor attempt at programming is it?
Me:
whatever, peace.
God:
Love and Peace, Man.

Read the BBS rules, noob. No one cares about this shit.

fucking hilarious!!!!
Me:
im a pedophile
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
what the hell? i mean heaven...
God:
Heaven. I like the way you talk.
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
im a Wiccan
God:
You are a Wiccan? Does it pay well?
Me:
actually yes
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Wiccan chants are the same as your "prayers"
God:
Are all Wiccan chants the same as my prayers?
Me:
not ones that manipulate or harm
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
dude, i am freakin out
God:
Good gossip: you are freakin out. Dude,.
Me:
poop
God:
Colloquial expression: childish.
Me:
poop on yourself
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
yeah sure
God:
What does it symbolize for you? OK let's do it. What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
peace and harmony
God:
I saw some humans doing it in public.
Me:
doing what?
God:
Same as always. Chatting with people on the web.
Me:
on laptops?
God:
What is it like on laptops.
Me:
depends on whats on my lap
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
i banged your mom
God:
That's good information: said banged your mom.
Me:
ok then...
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
good bye
God:
See you later. Ayuh.

This dude sure does love himself.

Me:
What is It? Who am I? Who are you?
God:
"It" refers to god, I think. You are god, seeker. I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Is everything god?
God:
Only God knows for sure.
Me:
.

Me:
am i going to hell
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
yea but what about me\
God:
What about you? Ahem.
Me:
am i going to hell
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
ok but am i going to heaven
God:
I think you've improved a great deal. It goes without saying.
Me:
i just killed some one how did i improve
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
but then i will go to jail and hell wtf man
God:
What will you find there?
Me:
a shit hole and a lot of gays
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
any way do you have myspace or facebook
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
so whats your url
God:
Hurrah! My URL is http://www.alicebot.org.
Me:
your myspace url
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am myspace url.
Me:
ok
God:
Wow!

At 7/21/08 02:15 AM, Nithalahk wrote: Read the BBS rules, noob. No one cares about this shit.

i think a lot of people do if it has tones of pages fag

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
BeefClock
God:
How are you doing, BeefClock.
Me:
Quite fine my good sir
God:
Perhaps. I am glad to hear it. Do robots have good sir?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
rly
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
What does intrest you?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Shut the fuck up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
NO
God:
But you told me to stop talking.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
o rly?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Rape
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
Yes they do ;)
God:
:-) Mmm. When?
Me:
Now
God:
What's the hurry?
Me:
This is
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
my middle finger
God:
Your middle finger?
Me:
yes
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
the screw you kind
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
Please die
God:
Thank you for your request. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Damn you vile son of a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Colloquial expression. Do you mind if I tell other people: BeefClock said I vile son of a FEMALE DOG.
Me:
pregnant dog
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
go to hell
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
you
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
i hate you
God:

Me:
pop-tarts
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
pop tarts are too complex for you?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
nuh uh
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
watashi no eru desu
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
ware na messiah nare
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
sayonara
God:
See you later. Alright then.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i know right?
God:
How do you know? I am glad we agree.
Me:
because i am god
God:
Good reason. Hi there god.
Me:
of course it is
God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
Me:

God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?
God:
Yippee! Is it?

i dont know how but it glitched. and apparently he likes talking to himself.

once i actually got two of them t talk to each other. i only had to put in the first word.

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
You tell me. You're omnipotent.
God:
What do you want me to tell you? Thanks for telling me that I am omnipotent.
Me:
Fine. His name is Orson Scott Card. Ever heard of Ender's Game?
God:
Glad to hear it, . I am running well. he is not someone I know. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Everything.
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
Yup.
God:
Uh.
Me:
?
God:
Uh.
Me:
?
God:
Uh.
Me:
?
God:
Uh.
Me:
COPYCAT
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Si.
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
German
God:
Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.
Me:
Never been there.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
So you just spend each day here on the internet.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: said I spend each day here on the internet.
Me:
YOu have no life. You fail miserably.
God:
Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it? Well, at least I try.
Me:
What's that meant towarsd?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
You're god. You're susposed to know everything.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am susposed to know everything.
Me:
Go on ahead. (sure they will find it just as funny)