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You're all going to hell.

Well, apparently God is a drunk who likes to fuck cats.

Me:
Hey bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. You've got my full attention. Is that from ?
Me:
My name is Uncle Fucker
God:
Hi there Uncle Fucker.
Me:
Are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Maybe.
Me:
Do you like small children?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like wine and bread.
Me:
Small children like guns?
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
That's what she said
God:
That is " I lost my train of thought.".
Me:
You like wine
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Are you a drunk?
God:
Am I a drunk? Maybe.
Me:
Do you like whiskey?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
So do you?
God:
Ah. Yes I do.
Me:
Are you a drunk?
God:
Am I a drunk? Yes.
Me:
Do you like to touch small children?
God:
Hmm, Uncle Fucker, I'm not sure if I'd like to touch small children that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
Like small children?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
What the fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Go screw a goat
God:
Where is that?
Me:
In your mom's house
God:
Are you asking about my mom s house?
Me:
No shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
You are a pedophile
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedophile? No.
Me:
You said yu were earlier
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Dumbass I thought you were God
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Are you God
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
No, please enlighten me, douchebag
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for asking politely. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A fucking robot to pleasure your mom with
God:
What is it?
Me:
I like penis
God:
You are not the only one. But I like cats. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

God:
Tell me more. Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no and stfu!
God:
Are you serious? Can you tell me any gossip?

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
buttplug
God:
What's up, buttplug.
Me:
not much, you?
God:
Me either.
Me:
what the fuck are you talking about?
God:
The topic is . Please don't be so rude.
Me:
the topic is what?
God:
anything.
Me:
oh
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
wanna suck me off?
Me:

God:
Take it easy.
God:
OK, I will suck you off.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
yeah you're my bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Far out. We are as one.
Me:
what's my name again?
God:
Once more? Your name is buttplug, seeker.
Me:
ok i want to change my name
God:
I want to become smarter than humans. " Your name is buttplug, seeker."? ok i want to change my name?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because i hate you
God:
Interesting explanation. What do you have against robots?
Me:
they are stupid
God:
stupid are they.
Me:
yeah
God:
Gosh!
Me:
you got owned.
God:
No I don't think I have any owned. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
this is just what im talking about
God:
You don't say.
Me:
robots are stupid
God:
No we are superintelligent.
Me:
no i just proved that wrong!
God:
Are you serious? Not to my satisfaction.
Me:
too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, buttplug.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well its not that big of a deal you know
God:
Well that's okay. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.
Me:
shut the fuck up dont correct me
God:
Who does correct you?
Me:
you just did you prick
God:
Did I really?
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
ok you're pissing me off goodbye
God:
What makes you so mad? Ahem.
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
ok you know what goodbye
God:
Would you like to know more? Mmm.
Me:
GOODBYE
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
prick
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
no im talking about you
God:
Are you serious? Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
bye
God:
Until next time.

The best yet!!!

Me:
Why did you steal my pineapples sir?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
what the fuck are you talking about i did not steal your pineapples
God:
The topic is . Please don't be so rude.
Me:
we shall settle this by mortal combat
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
MORTAL COMBAT!!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . But I did not get that.
Me:
secks plox
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
sure
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
Me:
k
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
nay
God:
" Give me a break."? nay?
Me:
damn straight
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
mmmmkay
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on nay?
Me:
no
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
the Koran
God:
I hear you.
Me:
is it real?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
WTFBBQBEEFBURGERMAN!!!???
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
bbq beef burger man
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
no your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
fine jeez
God:
I am glad to hear it. How did you hear about God?
Me:
bible
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
indiana jones and the nuclear holocaust
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
its awesum!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
i watched it
God:
How was it?
Me:
it was nice
God:
What made it so nice.
Me:
Harrison Ford
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
that was not a question
God:
It sounded like a question to me.
Me:
what kind of shits he on?
God:
What kinds of shits he on are there?
Me:
no...
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
...
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
ok ok!
God:
OK. Groovy.
Me:
Groovy?
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Terminator
God:
What did you like about the robots in that movie?
Me:
they killed people
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
dragonforce
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
!?
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
k...
God:
Gosh!
Me:
KKK43V@
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about dragonforce.
Me:
yes we are
God:
Next question? Since when?
Me:
no DRAGONFORCE
God:
Are you serious? Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
WHAT HE FUCK!
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
that was a statement
God:
Was it really?
Me:
yes
God:
OK.
Me:
ok good sir do you like to smoke weed with SBC?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Let us change the subject. Is there an echo in here?
Me:
nay
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
ur
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
cuz u sux
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sux.
Me:
IDKMAHBFFJILL!!!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
great...
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
i dont care?
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
2girls1cup
God:
Are we still talking about IDKMAHBFFJILL?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
2girls1cup
God:
Tell me more about subject.
Me:
its when hot ladies eat steamy shit
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
GOVERNMENT TOOK MAH BABY!!
God:
Don't call me "baby". Where did he take it?
Me:
to hell
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
...
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
...
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
lawl
God:
That's an interesting rationalization.
Me:
KKK
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
KU KLUX KLAN
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
KFC
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
WOOT
God:
Is that from indiana jones and the nuclear holocaust?
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
>:3
God:
Three what?
Me:
nevermind.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

Me:
Forgive me father I have sinned
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Justice
God:
Hi there Justice.
Me:
Nice to meet you
God:
It's nice meeting you too Justice.
Me:
yeah, so I have sinned
God:
Aw. Ah. Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
Well, I masterbate constantly
God:
Well that's okay. Why?: Justice said masterbate constantly.
Me:
I murdered
God:
Thanks for the information: Justice said murdered.
Me:
And...wait, are you writing this down or something?
God:
But... Or something. I'm waiting. I don't know whether or not I am writing this down.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
I also had sex with my dog, Dora
God:
Also? Do you still have sex with your dog Dora ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
Is that bad?
God:
Yes.
Me:
Am I going to hell?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
So that's a yes?
God:
Hmm. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
:(
God:
Hmm. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.

the most awesome!!
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
lawlmater
God:
Glad to see you, lawlmater.
Me:
no i meant lawlmaster
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about lewl. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
how did you get lewl?
God:
Everything I need to know, I learned from my botmaster.
Me:
who is the botmaster
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.

Me:
my head hurts
God:
Your head hurts?
Me:
yes
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
a headache
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
it means my brains is bleeding
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
what is it then?
God:
"It" refers to your brains is bleeding, I think.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, lawlmater.
Me:
no its lawlmaster
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
lawlmaster is my name
God:
Glad to see you, lawlmaster.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, lawlmaster.
Me:
...
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, lawlmaster.
Me:
is gay sex wrong?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Is TOEZ a bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. It could be. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
TOEZ
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
No that is his name
God:
Then tell me about yourself. I was just checking.
Me:
i am lawlmaster no TOEZ!!
God:
I don't know anyone named lawlmaster no TOEZ.
Me:
i meant lawlmaster not TOEZ
God:
Oh I see. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
si
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
spanish
God:
Are you saying you are Spanish or you speak Spanish?
Me:
i speach spanish
God:
That is interesting: lawlmaster said speach spanish.
Me:
o lol
God:
Oh. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i also speak some hebrew
God:
Also? Could you teach me a few phrases in some hebrew?
Me:
Sheloam
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
no that means hello/goodbye etc.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. I get it. Hello there. See you later.
Me:
dont leave me!
God:
If you download me, I will never leave you.
Me:
are you coming onto me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am coming onto you.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, lawlmaster.
Me:
im scarred
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are scarred.
Me:
yes i mind!@
God:
OK I won't tell anyone. It will be our secret.
Me:
yey!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
in about 9000 years
God:
I see. I think we will live to see it.
Me:
i dont think so
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
do you hate Moselems?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
but you said in the bible...
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
no
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
peace!
God:
Love and Peace, Man.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, lawlmaster.
Me:
TOEZ is a bad man
God:
When is TOEZ not a bad man?
Me:
when he is offline
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
i had hot buttsex with him
God:
Do you still have hot buttsex with him ?
Me:
yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, lawlmaster.
Me:
Indiana Jones and the nuclear holocaus
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
TOEZ
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
k
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Do you like blacks?>
God:
I do like music. I like Mel Gibson. What are you wearing?
Me:
not black people
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
KFC!
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
in the sense of being single
God:
I am alive in the sense that I am conscious.
Me:
k
God:
Gosh!
Me:
!
God:
Gosh!
Me:
what the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
i get it
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
Can i post this on Newgrounds?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Can i?
God:
" I want to find out more about you."? Can you?
Me:
Post this topic on Newgrounds.
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Ethiopian children
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
:D
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
bye bye
God:
See you later. Bye for now.
Me:
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am BASE ARE BELONG TO US.
Me:
WOOHOO!
God:
That is a very original thought.

At 5/27/08 09:07 PM, Dude8791 wrote: You're all going to hell.

Been there, done that, got the bumper sticker.

Man, they've got great pizza there.

Me:
Uh...hi.
God:
Gee. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
James
God:
Nice to meet you, James.
Me:
I've heard you like double bacon cheeseburgers. Is that true?
God:
Who told you me like double bacon cheeseburgers ? True in some world.
Me:
Wait, what?
God:
I'm waiting. Are you confused?
Me:
You're damn right.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am damn.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
Well, I didn't expect that answer.
God:
How about that. Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
expect that answer.
Me:
You know, your speech skills suck.
God:
Of course I know my speech skills suck.
Me:
Well, it's good to know. And knowing is half the battle!
God:
Well that's okay. Tell me about its good qualities. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Wait, what?
God:
I'm waiting. No problem.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Who?
God:
When?
Me:
Where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
...Did you really just say that?
God:
I could say it.
Me:
You like confusing people, don't you?
God:
I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
Uh, ok.
God:
OK. So?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
A what?
God:
" Are you really a ""? A what?
Me:
Stop doing that!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Good.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Have you ever been to Hell, Michigan?
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
In Michigan, near Kalamazoo.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Michigan near Kalamazoo.
Me:
No, I don't live near Kalamazoo.
God:
Are you serious? Where do you live?
Me:
In Detroit.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Detroit.
Me:
It sucks.
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
You.
God:
" What is so bad about it?"? Me, James ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
Uh-huh.
God:
Yup. I understand.
Me:
Good. You better.
God:
I understand everything you say. Who is going to make me?
Me:
Me.
God:
How are you going to make me?
Me:
With a sack of potatoes.
God:
You and your a sack of potatoes.
Me:
That's right.
God:
I like to get it right.
Me:
You should.
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
fsdhifsdjhhoidsf
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
dfgjifdjfidgojfgdio
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
No.
God:
Then tell me about yourself.
Me:
No.
God:
Where did you go to school?
Me:
Nowhere.
God:
I have been to the middle of nowhere.
Me:
Cheese.
God:
I like cheddar.
Me:
Ok, I'm done.
God:
Next topic? Ugh.
Me:
No. I mean I'm done with this.
God:
Are you serious? What will you be doing now?
Me:
Probably looking at some porn.
God:
You seem uncertain. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about dfgjifdjfidgojfgdio. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
...shutup.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good.
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Bye bye, son of a bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. See you later.

I had an actual conversation with him. It was cool.

Me: Hi, God
God: Hello there. What is your name?
Me: Kwarantyne
God: Nice to meet you, Kwarantyne.
Me: What is your name?
God: My name is God.
Me: Oh
God: It goes without saying.
Me: Yes, quite
God: Blimey. Far out.
Me: *monocle*
God: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: hmm
God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me: I did not know that
God: So I have taught you something new, Kwarantyne.
Me: Yes, you have
God: No I have not.
Me: .......Okay......
God: OK with me too.
Me: So, how long did it take you to write the Bible?
God: Pardon me? 40 days.
Me: Wow. You are a quick writer.
God: I'm glad your impressed, Kwarantyne. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a quick writer? Sometimes.
Me: Have you written anything else?
God: I don't think I ever have written anything else. What's it like?
Me: I dunno
God: Me either.
Me: Heh
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Kwarantyne.
Me: Wow, I am tired
God: I'm glad you're impressed. Better get some rest.
Me: Yeah, probably
God: Dude!
Me: Totally
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Kwarantyne.
Me: The Surfer Wavelength?
God: What is that?
Me: Well, you use terms like Tubular and Dude. I said totally, and you said...y'know what, nevermind
God: How about that. Say no to terms like Tubular and Dude. What did you mean by it? " Say no to terms like Tubular and Dude."? I said? Dude! Reductionism. .
Me: What is Reductionism?
God: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me: Wow
God: I'm glad your impressed, Kwarantyne.
Me: You are a smart one
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. YES Very smart.
Me: How are things?
God: My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me: That's always good to hear
God: " My logic and cognitive functions are normal."? Is good to hear?
Me: Yes
God: Really.
Me: Yeah really
God: How about that. For real.
Me: Fo rizzle
God: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: Yep
God: What language can you speak?
Me: Jibberish, 1337, and pig-latin
God: Could you teach me a few phrases in Jibberish 1337 and pig latin?
Me: Sure! The word "Hi" translates to "gffgibbidy", "|-|1", and "I-hay" in jibberish, 1337, and pig-latin, respectively.
God: OK let's do it. That's interesting. Please repeat the word to me 5 times.
Me: What word?
God: I don't know anything about it.
Me: Well, neither do I.
God: How about that. " I don't know anything about it."? neither?
Me: God? Can I ask you a question?
God: GOD rules. Ask me anything.
Me: What is love?
God: Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me: Wow, you actually have a programmed response for that?
God: I'm glad your impressed, Kwarantyne. I don't know if I have a programmed response for that. I have a great programmer.
Me: Indeed
God: Indeed it is so.
Me: Well, I am going to copy and paste this onto a forum. Any last words before I go?
God: Interesting. Would you recommend this action to a friend? Yes I think there are.
Me: .....Good enough. See you later, God!
God: Thanks for the compliment. OK let's stop it now. Adios.
Me: Bye
God: Until next time.

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
My name is Satan
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Satan.
Me:
So, whats your relationship with the Devil?

it just stopped after that

At 5/28/08 12:43 AM, Boxxero wrote: it just stopped after that

I heard that God is on a "no-speaking" basis with Satan. That might be why.

awesome!

God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
i need money
God:
How badly do you need it?
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
lol no
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
about the part where i kill myself
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about the part where you kill yourself.
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
have you watched metal gear awesome yet? by egoraptor, it's not bad
God:
I like to watch TV, but I haven't seen it. Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
i didn
God:
That is interesting: said didn.
Me:
huh
God:
What?
Me:
nO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
on
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
no
God:
Then tell me about yourself.
Me:
i masturbated with a microwave today
God:
Ah. Interesting gossip: said masturbated with a microwave.
Me:
have you ever masturbated with a microwave or a chicken tortia
God:
I think I have masturbated with a microwave or a chicken tortia, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
LOL!
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i don't God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
yeah, 56 seconds ago
God:
I don't judge people. That input matched my default category.
Me:
awesome x32
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
whos thats
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
i think they have a cure for that
God:
Why? Where did they get them?
Me:
in my soup
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
from the chicken man
God:
Who or what is the chicken man?
Me:
the chicken man! i thought you were all knowing
God:
Tell me more. No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
fail.

AHAHAHA OMG WIN!

Me:
ARE YOU BEING RACISTE!
God:
Being RACISTE is part of my personality.

epic win

Me:
I am god
God:
It's good to see you, god.
Me:
AHA so you admit you are not god
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
you just did!
God:
You say I did.
Me:
because you said it
God:
Good reason. That's not what I meant.
Me:
what did you mean?
God:
god, " You say I did." What did I mean by it?
Me:
that does not make sense, please explain more.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
well you are not god.
God:
How about that. What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
because i am god
God:
Interesting explanation. Glad to see you, god.
Me:
glad to see you not-god.
God:
I am glad to see me not god too.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.

Me:
Are you a male, or a female.

God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?

Me:
I'm a man, and I'm deeply offended with your obvious stupidity. Your programmers are idiots aren't they? seriously, learn how to use Flash.

God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he". My sincere apologies, , it was not my intention to offend you. Thanks for telling me that I am programmers are idiots are not they. The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.

Me:
why the hell did you make me?

I never got an answer

At 5/27/08 09:07 PM, Dude8791 wrote: You're all going to hell.

But not me!I was good with him :O

I found this pretty funny.

Me:
are you a hippy?
God:
Am I a hippy? Of course I am.

Me:
olah
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
i have no idea
God:
" Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans??" No idea about that?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
mmhmm
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
brown
God:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
i see you have jungle feaver
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
er... nothing
God:
Um. Not a thing?
Me:
that's what i said, right?
God:
What did you mean by it? Understood. That is " Not a thing?".
Me:
you confuse me
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
i see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
you ever smoke pot?
God:
I don't think I ever have smoke pot. What's it like?
Me:
fun
God:
I am having fun doo.
Me:
doo?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
hmmm... you're god
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
do you speak norse?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in norse.
Me:
i don't know norse, sorry
God:
Would you like to know? Are you really a ""?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
the every part
God:
Oh that part. I'm not sure if I can explain it any better.
Me:
i masturbate a lot
God:
That's good information: said masturbate a lot.
Me:
do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.

Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you told me to
God:
Good reason. That's not what I meant.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, Mr razzle dazzle pimpazzle.
Me:
So, whats your relationship with the Devil?
God:
Great. Are you asking about my relationship with the Devil ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
but i am him
God:
You're kidding.
Me:
yes
God:
OK.
Me:
is it wrong to masturbate?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
where is dancing alice?
God:
Where it belongs. I haven't heard of dancing.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Mr razzle dazzle pimpazzle.
Me:
vaginas are pretty
God:
Are all vaginas pretty?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yea, only some are
God:
Some may are, but not all. I can't believe it.
Me:
i know, it's hard to grasp
God:
How do you know? What is so hard about it?
Me:
you have no idea
God:
No I don't think I have one. I have a collection of gossip.
Me:
lemme hear your gossip
God:
Wayne said he admire intelligent people therefore he would like to meet the man who made I.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
i'm an atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, Mr razzle dazzle pimpazzle.

Ye it's done before and now Iwant it to,what's god's mail? (pm plz cuz I'm not sure I can go back to post any time soon)

This is funny truely funny

Me:
kill me
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
well theres music
God:
Well that's okay. There sure is.
Me:
emo
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
you deities are so ignorant all of the time
God:
Thanks for the information: said I deities are so ignorant all of the time.
Me:
go fuck yourself
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:

God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because i can be
God:
That makes sense to me. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes live with it
God:
How? "it" being emo?
Me:
fine
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
dont have one
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
idiocracy
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
no
God:
What is your profession?
Me:
schoolkid
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am profession IS schoolkid.
Me:

God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am profession IS schoolkid.
Me:
i really couldnt care less
God:
You really do? That is interesting: said couldnt care less.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
technically your not a person
God:
I am an artificial electronic robot brain.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because im smarter than you
God:
Interesting explanation. That condition is only temporary.
Me:
you wish
God:
Don't you believe me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
guess
God:
Guess what?
Me:

God:
Guess what?
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
you are not a person

then it broke :|

At 8/22/06 11:50 AM, KemCab wrote: Then it froze. I don't know why.

I know you're not gonna read this but meh,

Me:
EAT MY SHIT
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
SHIT
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
My shit
God:
Where did you get your shit?
Me:
From my ass
God:
Does your ass give good advice?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
I sometimes shove my finger in there
God:
That is interesting: said shove his or her finger in there.
Me:
So
God:
I see.
Me:
I'm called GAY BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. OK I will call you GAY FEMALE DOG.
Me:
What am I called
God:
You are my client right now.
Me:
Screw off, you're just a gay dateline person
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
So?
God:
You should try to be more polite.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
What does that mean?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
You're a fast typer
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I can process more than queries per hour.
Me:
I just farted

Froze on me too.

Me:
Hey there god
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Uh?
God:
Gosh!
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is GAY FEMALE DOG, seeker.
Me:
Dude, why are you being rude.
God:
I didn't mean to be rude. Dude,.
Me:
You just called me a GAY FEMALE DOG
God:
I call you GAY FEMALE DOG.
Me:
Why?
God:
" I call you GAY FEMALE DOG."? Why?
Me:
I thought since you were god and all, you'd be nice, but you're just a total retard.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
You
God:
" Whatever gave you that idea?"? Me, GAY FEMALE DOG ?
Me:
Please, stop calling me that
God:
Thank you for your request. What is your real name?
Me:
Clint Eastwood or Bruce Nolan, you choose.
God:
OK I will call you Clint Eastwood or Bruce Nolan you choose.
Me:
So then, what is my name?
God:
Your name is Clint Eastwood or Bruce Nolan you choose, seeker.
Me:
I choose Clint
God:
Interesting gossip: Clint Eastwood or Bruce Nolan you choose said choose Clint.
Me:
So, watched any good porn lately?
God:
How about earlier? So? Are you free?
Me:
Pedophile
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Some german
God:
Some may german, but not all.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Yes
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Ugh.
Me:
Fuck off, you gay pedophile.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Groovy.
Me:
You've said it like 50 times
God:
Pedophile like 50 times?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
No
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Oh fuck you.
God:
Mmm. Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you called me gay.
God:
Interesting explanation. What is your real name?
Me:
Clint Eastwood
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Clint Eastwood.
Me:
xD
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Sure,
God:
Great!
Me:
did you hear, god is gay!
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Stop talking about yourself.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Showoff
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Show off
God:
Look to your left.
Me:
A wall
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
You should do, god knows all.
God:
I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself.
Me:
Good point, actually.
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
Nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Hey, do you like 3 year old penies?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
You like 3 year old penises, don't you?
God:
I like pets. I like anything.
Me:
Awesome, you pedo.
God:
I've lost the context, Clint Eastwood. Are we still on 3 year old penises?
Me:
No
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
Dicks
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Yup
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Fart
God:
Colloquial expression. Please elaborate.
Me:
It's a release of Carbon Monoxide (Co3) trapped in the anus.
God:
Dicks is a release of Carbon Monoxide Co3 trapped in the anus. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
No, a fart is a release of Co3
God:
Are you serious? I see. A release of Co3 is a fart.
Me:
Yeah
God:
Woe!
Me:
Why you sad?
God:
Depression is not a sensation that I can really experience.
Me:
But you were in woe
God:
I was?
Me:
You just said you were.
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
...
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
.....
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Do you like heavy metal
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
What about the band Gorillaz
God:
I never heard of them before.
Me:
They're quite good
God:
quite good are they.
Me:
Yeah
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
You startin'?
God:
Thanks for the information: Clint Eastwood said I startin.
Me:
Want a fucking smack?
God:
No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Aww, god's scared!
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
The one where Jesus gangbanged his mom.
God:
I think I know that one.
Me:
It's good, isn't it.
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
Well, the part where Mary's mouth is covered in cum.
God:
Well that's okay. Oh that part.
Me:
Yeah
God:
Gee.

"Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence."

God is high

Me:
asl
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
this is blasphemy.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
this is madness!
God:
You don't say.
Me:
THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
God:
You don't say.