I'm starting to feel concerned

[StarF68]

For myself.

Mainly for my lack of caring. I mean, I basically just had one of the worst days of my life, and I don't even care. Basically there was no food in the house (Well, I found some pickles, but they were expired) and my mom and brother get home, and I find out they went out to eat and my dad went to a movie. So they had some leftovers and I ask if I can have them, and my brother goes "NO" and then I demand them (Probably not the most rational move, but damnit, I was hungry) and he continues to say no, and eventually my mom gets annoyed and they leave, taking the food with them.

So later they get back and the food is gone, and I ask if I can have money to get something to eat. My mom says that she doesn't have money and I have to wait until my dad gets home to get food, well I figure this'll only be about an hour so even though that's annoying, I'll wait.

Four hours pass and he finally gets home, and gives my mom money so she'll take me to get something to eat. I ask if we can go, and she asks why there was water in the garage. Oh yeah, I should probably explain that. Well when they left before and took the only food with them in an act of haste I dumped out four of her water bottles in the garage. After four I realized what I was doing was stupid and purposeless and went to my room.

Anyways, I told her that, and she said she didn't believe me (And fuck if I know why) and that she wasn't going to take me to get food until I told her why. Well I started resorting to simply saying "I don't know" and "I already told you" (Which was the truth) and she started calling me an asshole and a stupid son of a bastard, to which I said "How come?" which only made her angrier because she could not justify these claims.

Anyways, she eventually got in the car, I asked if we were going, and she didn't answer, I got in, and luckily we were. So we go and she tells me six times that I shouldn't ask her for any favors because of my attitude and because I was "being mean to her," after the sixth time I just go "Okay, you've said it six times, I get it." and she gets even angrier because of that.

Oh, and something else I forgot to mention. Before we left I knocked on my dads door to see if he would be more rational and give me some money so I could just go myself, he in turn responsed by opening the door and punching me in the side some seven times and telling me to stop making noise.

Anyways, I finally get home with my food, and the thing that I'm concerned about isn't the fact that any of this is happening, but rather the fact that I just don't care. I mean, throughout this whole ordeal, I haven't even given a damn about any of it. I mean what the hell, I feel like I should at least be mad or something, but I'm just... Not. It's strange.

[JackRabbitStudios]

I take it that this was a "usual" day for you? Or is this kind of antics in your home irregular.

[StarF68]

At 8/21/06 12:03 AM, JackRabbitStudios wrote: I take it that this was a "usual" day for you? Or is this kind of antics in your home irregular.

It was partially usual, but a lot of it is pretty rare, so I would say it's more on the unusual side of my daily life.

[Love-Shock]

First of all: What the fuck, why havn't you called the cops.

Second of all: It's generally common for someone who's life sucks to just ignore it. Pretty simple solution, that's what I did at one point. Then the doctor got me some meds, and that helped with that.

But your parents wont take you to the doctor to get drugs, call the cops for them not getting you food and beating you.

[Eudaimonism]

You care about not caring, means you care. If you didn't care at all, you wouldn't be telling people, you just wouldn't care.

[JackRabbitStudios]

At 8/21/06 12:04 AM, StarF68 wrote: It was partially usual, but a lot of it is pretty rare, so I would say it's more on the unusual side of my daily life.

Do you usually feel concerned when things start to turn to shit? Has there been any variables in your day to day activities? Recent change of any kind of medication or shit like that?

[CleverNickname]

You should get some sort of revenge on your mom.

Something involving snakes.

[StarF68]

At 8/21/06 12:07 AM, Clever_Nickname wrote: You should get some sort of revenge on your mom.

Sounds delightful. o.O

Something involving snakes.

Snakes... ON A PLANE!? :P

At 8/21/06 12:07 AM, JackRabbitStudios wrote:

At 8/21/06 12:04 AM, StarF68 wrote: It was partially usual, but a lot of it is pretty rare, so I would say it's more on the unusual side of my daily life.

Do you usually feel concerned when things start to turn to shit?

Nope, this is really the first time I've noticed that I don't even care, which would be the reason for the concern. I think I should at least be angered or something.

Has there been any variables in your day to day activities?

Like what?

Recent change of any kind of medication or shit like that?

Nope. The only thing that was changed about today was the complete lack of food. My dad usually does the grocery shopping, but he hasn't for like a month or two, and I don't know why. He said he was going yesterday but didn't, same thing with today, now he says he'll go tomorrow, so he better.

At 8/21/06 12:06 AM, -PsyChaos- wrote: You care about not caring, means you care. If you didn't care at all, you wouldn't be telling people, you just wouldn't care.

True, but I guess I mean I don't care enough. It's weird.

At 8/21/06 12:05 AM, Love_Shock wrote: First of all: What the fuck, why havn't you called the cops.

Second of all: It's generally common for someone who's life sucks to just ignore it. Pretty simple solution, that's what I did at one point. Then the doctor got me some meds, and that helped with that.

But your parents wont take you to the doctor to get drugs, call the cops for them not getting you food and beating you.

Eh, usually we have food. This is really the first time we've been out of food. As for the "beating," it didn't even hurt cause my dad punches like an idiot. I mean I guess I should be offended but pain, no, not really.

I'd rather keep the cops out of this, as they would only fuck up my life more. That would probably lead to the loss of my computer, and many other complications that I'd rather not have.

[Duh-Boss]

i am having trouble seeing how the cops can only make things worse. for christ's sake, call them!

[JackRabbitStudios]

At 8/21/06 12:11 AM, StarF68 wrote: Nope. The only thing that was changed about today was the complete lack of food. My dad usually does the grocery shopping, but he hasn't for like a month or two, and I don't know why. He said he was going yesterday but didn't, same thing with today, now he says he'll go tomorrow, so he better.

So, after taking that all in, I'd say the whole reason why you're not pissed is because you probably were so hungry that you pretty much ignored any angered feelings that you'd have. When the body doesn't get food, there ususally is a slowdown in brain activity. Someone who is hungry won't tend to waste their energy moping around and being upset.

[Sun-and-Moon]

Do they like your brother more than you? It's an obvious answer but I'm just clarifying.

If things get desperate enough and you feel like you have to go as far as to put yourself into foster care, I would suggest that you NEVER do that. It would be ten times worse. There's always ways to deal with your own family but in a foster family it's "sit down, shut the fuck up and do it our way". If things get like that in your own home, then there definately IS a problem and it needs to be resolved. Try talking to your parents about how you feel, like an intervention or something

[StarF68]

At 8/21/06 12:13 AM, Duh_Boss wrote: i am having trouble seeing how the cops can only make things worse. for christ's sake, call them!

Because I'll probably have to go somewhere, seperating me from my computer and other posessions, and therefore making me bored, mad, and annoyed all at once. Besides, things will just revert back to normal eventually anyways.

At 8/21/06 12:16 AM, JackRabbitStudios wrote:

At 8/21/06 12:11 AM, StarF68 wrote: Nope. The only thing that was changed about today was the complete lack of food. My dad usually does the grocery shopping, but he hasn't for like a month or two, and I don't know why. He said he was going yesterday but didn't, same thing with today, now he says he'll go tomorrow, so he better.

So, after taking that all in, I'd say the whole reason why you're not pissed is because you probably were so hungry that you pretty much ignored any angered feelings that you'd have. When the body doesn't get food, there ususally is a slowdown in brain activity. Someone who is hungry won't tend to waste their energy moping around and being upset.

Heh, that's actually kinda cool. It's like suddenly there could be a new flash series, emo vs anorexia.

In all seriousness though, that makes sense I suppose, seeing as how the main objective throughout all of this was simply to get food, which I more or less kept my mind on the whole time. Even so, I don't think I would be that upset. I mean even after I got the food I still wasn't.

[DashDingo]

Well, it's kinda good that you don't give a damn in a way. This could ruin someone's day, but if you don't care then what have you got to worry about?

Just so long as you don't don't give a damn about stuff like school and shit; you know, the important stuff.

[StarF68]

At 8/21/06 12:22 AM, DashDingo wrote: Well, it's kinda good that you don't give a damn in a way. This could ruin someone's day, but if you don't care then what have you got to worry about?

Yeah that's the thing I like about it, it's pretty nifty being able to stay cool throughout it all. Strangely I'd have to say part of it comes from the internet and other factors of the like. I'm only concerned because it seems like I should be reacting to this in a bigger way. I'm starting to feel afraid that one day I'll just lose control of myself and snap for whatever reason.

Just so long as you don't don't give a damn about stuff like school and shit; you know, the important stuff.

Yeah of course. I've got myself determined to try harder than I usually do for school this year. So it should all work out. :D

At 8/21/06 12:19 AM, Blink_Link wrote: Do they like your brother more than you? It's an obvious answer but I'm just clarifying.

Haha pretty much. They also don't like to take us both places at the same time, because we don't really get along (Typical right lol) and I don't really care, but I would have thought they would have the decency to bring something back. Hell, they didn't even take me on vacation this summer. o.O

If things get desperate enough and you feel like you have to go as far as to put yourself into foster care, I would suggest that you NEVER do that. It would be ten times worse. There's always ways to deal with your own family but in a foster family it's "sit down, shut the fuck up and do it our way". If things get like that in your own home, then there definately IS a problem and it needs to be resolved.

Yeah, that just sounds bad. I'd rather put up with this shit and then go here in my room for hours on the computer and stuff. I mean, that's way better.

Try talking to your parents about how you feel, like an intervention or something

Eh, it doesn't work. One main problem is the fact that my mom wont listen and my dad doesn't care. My mom thinks I'm the problem, and constantly calls me an asshole and such and says I have a bad attitude, etc. I don't really understand it, but whenver I ask her top back up these accusations she doesn't say anything but another random insult. And I cannot be offended by someone if they can't even logically back up their insults, so it doesn't really matter to me. The only problem with that is that she still thinks I'm a problem (Which I'm sure I am, I mean I know I'm not perfect, I have my problems just like anyone else). We went through all these random therapists / psychiatrists (Whatever they were) until she finally found one she liked, and what do you know, the one she found is the one that constantly just agrees with her and thinks of me the same way. Go figure.