11:33 pm... 41:33 o'clock. time is moving like molasses moves uphill. my vision is blurred. i have tried, and failed, to sleep many times now, coutless in the most literal sense. my mind is impressionable. i think something, and it becomes reality. food is too wet, water is too dry, soda is nauseating.... marilyn manson and mikael akerfeldt are the only ones keeping me in the present. i post here to keep my mind focused on something besides the burning in my eyes. 41 hours is not that much time, but time is measured in increments of far less. i have lived three or four days today without any suitable rest. work, play, running, biking, internetting, late night fast-food runs, all things that have come back to fuck me...
i am supposed to be up at 7 am tomorrow to go garage saling with my dad and then work in his store, and i imagine that i will be unable to get out of the van, then crash in the back at the store.
eating a bowl of ravioli was the hardest thing i can remember having done in a month, but i had to do it, i could literally notice myself getting thinner. i'm simply rambling now, but my eyes refuse to close, and i don't watch television more than an hour a week normally. i'm poorly narrating my descent into delerium, i said that i'd be delusional in 6 hours... it was sooner. marilyn manson songs are reality. they are hollywood movies in my head. opeth songs are trances in bundles of 11 minutes. the internet isn't helping either. i am almost completely incapable of making sense now, enjoy this spectacle while it lasts, i'm not doing it again for at least 2 weeks.....................................
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4832, the characters i had remaining. 4794, the characters i found myself with soon thereafter. 4682, what i have left untouched at the end of this...
