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There seems to be a bunch of new and young teen posters here, so I thought it would be helpful to post a guide on how to properly create and respond to topics on the Newgrounds Politics Forum. Hope it helps.

When Creating a Topic

1.Misspell at least one word in the topic title. For every multi-letter word you replace with a single letter (You to u, etc.) people will see that you don't have time to write a full title because you're so busy writing quality in the actual post.

2. Don't capitalize. Topics are about interpretation. Mods and other regulars love it when they have to spend 20 minutes deciding what you're trying to say. It enhances their mind and makes it likely they'll support your topics.

3. Stay away from any original thoughts. If you didn't catch the last four minutes of someone talking about it on FOX, it's not really worth saying. So what if there are already 4 gun rights topics in the top 5 thread positions? What you have to say is different enough to merit a fifth, and it's going to be better than the other ones.

4. Throw out generalizations like herpes. They spread just the same, and generalizations will only increase the amount of people who read your thread. Don't say Congress has a short-sighted view on immigration policy, say George Bush thinks Mexicans should die, and that he is a Nazi pig.

5. Insist you are right. No matter what the facts say, post what you feel. Facts are sons of bitches anyway, and most of the people on the forum don't use them.

When Posting in a Thread

1. Be sure to tell the poster he is gay or stupid. If they disagree with you, something is wrong with them and they need to know it's probably their sexuality. Feel free to use the most offensive words possible.

2. Remind the thread starter that you are an expert. After all, you took a class in middle school that watched a video on this.

3. Never post links to sources. Make those ungrateful bastards do the footwork themselves.

4. Repeat the same position over and over. The more you repeat it, the more likely they are to realize you are right.

5. Remember: This is Newgrounds. It's Serious business. Death threats are completely called for after you lose that debate on whether pot-smoking homosexual gun-control advocates deserve the right to an abortion in Vermont.

Ha ha ha, awsome thread :) Deffinatly In the shortlist for best thread of the year.

Der_Pandar, you r gay. Something is definitely wrong with you. I’ve been p0sting for a few weeks so I know what I’m talking about! Posting shouldn’t have death threats! Posting shouldn’t have death threats! If you every post this again I will kill you ><.

Heh, thanks for the instructions. Yeah, some people just don’t know how to post (I’m sure someone actually took this one to heart). We must stop the stupid people on this forum!

Spot on, JMHX, but a list of guidelines is not complete without a worthy example, since the best way to learn is to see it being done by masters. So let me point out this utter sapphire. To emphasise the fact that his topic is THE one topic that will render all other Politics topics useless he misspells two words in his topic title, out of two. Then he begins his post by not once pressing the shift button and by writing down words such as "deffinion", "comunisum" and "buisness". He then copies a source which he never mentions, in compliance with point 2.3 of your handbook. It's a shame he screws up by capitalising the first "a" in his final paragraph, but corrects his mistake by finishing with the following sentence: "i will not respond to dumb posts." Also note that he at one point misspells "anarchy" as "Anarcy" and at another point as "anacry", and we all know that consistence is a sign of weakness as long as the crux of the post keeps on being reiterated.

In conclusion, I hope this topic will inspire a whole new generation of posters so they can finally pull the Politics forum out of the gutter.

Also, cocks.

At 8/1/06 10:45 AM, Aubric wrote: Der_Pandar, you r gay.

Damn it, every time!

This had better be a tribute to this topic posted by an alt account or the Newgrounds Politics forum is doomed forever.

lol Im gonna take this post as a joke or that you just want young people off of newgrounds for good >_>....

At 8/1/06 02:24 PM, xMystic_Manx wrote: lol Im gonna take this post as a joke or that you just want young people off of newgrounds for good >_>....

The second one.

Oficcciul Politiks Furum Glosry:

Cummunism: A pulitikal sistem whir peple get stuf frum the govurnment.
Dimokracee: Thuh US of Ay.

At 8/1/06 10:13 AM, Der_Pandar wrote: 2. Don't capitalize.

Remember kids, capitalizing is the most important part of capitalism, and that's no good.

At 8/1/06 02:36 PM, -Michael- wrote: Who'd you plagiarise, you lazy white breastfeeding cocksucker?!

You wish I was as unoriginal as you.

At 8/1/06 02:35 PM, MoralLibertarian wrote:

At 8/1/06 10:13 AM, Der_Pandar wrote: 2. Don't capitalize.

Remember kids, capitalizing is the most important part of capitalism, and that's no good.

Neither is free thinking. It leads to freedom and the free market. Ah, and proper spelling leads to proper natures, and proper natures lead to Anglophilia, which leads to Francophilia.

It's beautiful, JMHX. Absolutely beautiful. *tear* :'-)

At 8/1/06 02:35 PM, HighlyIllogical wrote: Oficcciul Politiks Furum Glosry:

Cummunism: A pulitikal sistem whir peple get stuf frum the govurnment.
Dimokracee: Thuh US of Ay.

Liek omg. Teht commmmussism iz eval dud.

Wai shud maik a bunh or tings whir peeeps reds zo wa cain said wat wii tink is god n badz aboot tem cummusims.

Ur mybe a thredd abut thez cupitulistz n huw dey explut ze wurkurz.

At 8/1/06 02:47 PM, RedScorpion wrote: It's beautiful, JMHX. Absolutely beautiful. *tear* :'-)

It is all gospel.

The sad thing is this thread is not just a parody topic. Most new-comers to the BBS follow through on everyone of the above points.

Sarcasm at its finest. Good job :-)

At one point, we have all experienced these. But rarely, and only in politics, do these forces come together to make the poster so kindly known as AccessCode.

At 8/1/06 06:24 PM, Der_Pandar wrote: At one point, we have all experienced these. But rarely, and only in politics, do these forces come together to make the poster so kindly known as AccessCode.

Begoner.
Penal Disturbance.

What make syou an expert on the Poltics forums eh? Was ti Miss Jones's 6th grade class on the internet where you watched that PBS video.

You could never be a great eprson on this forum, like that dude who founded the DAG or the guy who created the Regulars lounge, or any of the members of DAG or by a lesser extent the PC.

At 8/1/06 02:11 PM, Grammer wrote:

At 8/1/06 02:03 PM, lapis wrote: This had better be a tribute to this topic posted by an alt account or the Newgrounds Politics forum is doomed forever.

Your response to that topic is pure gold :)

Haha, thanks, unfortunately the entire thread was deleted. Pity, really.

At 8/1/06 07:04 PM, JoS wrote: What make syou an expert on the Poltics forums eh? Was ti Miss Jones's 6th grade class on the internet where you watched that PBS video.

JoS, who the fuck are you talking to?

At 8/1/06 06:45 PM, MortifiedPenguins wrote:

At 8/1/06 06:24 PM, Der_Pandar wrote: At one point, we have all experienced these. But rarely, and only in politics, do these forces come together to make the poster so kindly known as AccessCode.

Begoner.
Penal Disturbance.

I was under the impression those two got rightly deleted.

At 8/1/06 07:19 PM, Der_Pandar wrote:

At 8/1/06 07:04 PM, JoS wrote: What make syou an expert on the Poltics forums eh? Was ti Miss Jones's 6th grade class on the internet where you watched that PBS video.

JoS, who the fuck are you talking to?

You, I was pretending to be a n00b and not know who you are.

At 8/1/06 08:27 PM, JoS wrote:

At 8/1/06 07:19 PM, Der_Pandar wrote:

You, I was pretending to be a n00b and not know who you are.

Lollerskates

At 8/1/06 07:39 PM, Pwnage_In_A_Can wrote:

At 8/1/06 06:45 PM, MortifiedPenguins wrote:

At 8/1/06 06:24 PM, Der_Pandar wrote:

I was under the impression those two got rightly deleted.

I was adding more people for JHMX statement.

Der_Pandar

Fuck you you fuckin' fagot you should go die like bush and his nazi pedophile noe-librels.

Ok, props given where due. This was pretty fuckin' funny.

At 8/1/06 08:48 PM, Occluded wrote:

noe-librels.

Oh noes.