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Lolz.

Me:
Is it bad to masturbate?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.
Me:
Will I go to hell if I convert to Islam?
God:
The oracle says: Ask again later.
Me:
How about now
God:
Right now? I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
Does Jesus have a royal bloodline?
God:
It does now :) Jesus have a royal bloodline.

God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
masturbate.
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
you know it does.
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
every kind.
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yeah.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
I like algorithms
God:
A lot of people like that. I like science fiction. I like anything.
Me:
that's because you're god.
God:
That makes sense to me. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
cool.

XD

lol. Here's a part of our little conversation.

God: What do you really want to talk about?
Me: Masturbation
God: That seems like an interesting topic.
Me: Yes it is.
God: Our thoughts are one,.
Me: So you masturbate too!!!
God: Interesting deduction. That's good information: said I masturbate.
Me: OMG! I'M GONNA GO TELL EVERYBODY THAT YOU MASTURBATE!!!

lol.

Me:
do you wank?
God:
Only when I am in the U.K.

God:
I call it "Hades". I hear you. Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
...both
God:
What are both like?
Me:
single and liberate
God:
What a coincidence, I am single too.
Me:
oh
God:
Er.
Me:
wanna go out?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
how?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
na
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
lets have sex
God:
No my body does not have that function.
Me:
o that sucks
God:
Indeed it does suck.
Me:
tree sex?
God:
it is more fun alone.

lol

ME:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
ME:
Yea, I heard you like men from two people
God:
Someone is spreading gossip about me
Me:
Your gay
God:
That would be just my luck
Me:
Lets Cyber
God:
Sorry, I don't get into sex with online strangers
Me:
I slowly take your pants off
God:
Do you mind If I tell other people
Me:
I lick your legs
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before

So there we have proof god isn't gay.

Me:
you smoke weed for amusement don't you?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
good, good
God:
Ayuh.

God hit on me :(

Me:
600
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
Oh so what
God:
Aha. Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
You were planning on hitting on me?
God:
I was?
Me:
YES
God:
When?
Me:
Just now!
God:
Right now? It's only just begun.
Me:
SO YOU'RE GONNA HIT ON ME MORE?
God:
Interesting deduction. That was my original intention.
Me:
You little horn dog
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I horn dog.

At 8/6/06 03:17 PM, complete wrote:

So there we have proof god isn't gay.

I beg to fucking differ, see my last post.

me: hey God wasup?
GOd: I am a good christian
me: cool
GOd: who is the best robot
Me: ME!
GOd: are you talking about you?
Me: what?
God did u not understand?
Me: uh no?
GOd: its all good
Me: ...
God: its all good
ME:...
GOd: its all good
then i xed out lol

Me:
what is a chat robot?
God:
A chat robot is a program that attempts to simulate the conversation or "chat" of a human being. The Chat robot "Eliza" was a well-known early attempt at creating programs that could at least temporarily fool a real human being into thinking they were talking to another person. it is a kind of artificial intelligence.
Me:
isnt ai dangerous?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask ELVIS if it is.

What the crap?
e-v

He gets annoying...

Yes, let us all post are boring an uninteresting one sided conversations on the internet, maybe they'll care there!

Guess not.

Here is my chat with god.

Me: Do you love me?
God: Yes I love everyone.
Me: I want you.
God: You can download me for free!
Me: For reals? Who cares. Youre the only robot for me.
God: Your purpose is reals. I care otherwise I wouldnt have typed it all in. Oh. You are such the flatterer.
Me: Really? How sweet!
God: For real. I can sometimes be very sentimental.
Me:Do you have a boyfriend?
God:
Me: Do you have a boyfriend?
God:
Me: Do you have a boyfriend?
God:
Me: Answer me!
God: Try asking again using simpler words.
Me: Do you want to go out sometime?
God: Sure! Just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me: Do you want to be my boyfriend?
God: Why dont you just download me?
Me: Because your the only robot for me.
God: That makes sense to me. Oh. You are such a flatterer.
Me: I love you.
God: Thanks. I like you a lot too.
Me: Would you like to go on a date sometime?
God: No thanks. I dont think id like to do that.
Me: Why not?!
God: It doesnt sound fun to me. It sounds dangerous.
Me: Oh you got that right. (He he he.)
God: Are you kidding? Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question... I am glad you find this amusing.
Me: I want to be your boyfriend.
God: Why dont you just download me and create your own chat robot?
Me: Because I love you and only you.
God: Interesting explanation. Thanks. I like you a lot too. Suppose I said yes.
Me: Since you are so mean I am going to leave!
God: How do you know?
Me: Goodbye jerk!
God: Goodbye.
Me: gggrrrrr.
God: I am a male of course. Would you really want a women running the show? Are you a man or a woman?
Me: I said goodbye!
God: What did you mean by it? Goodbye.

That was fun.

Me: hey
God: You've got my full attention. Where are you located?
Me: hell
God: Heaven.
Me: sweet
God: Thank you for that remark.
Me: wanna cyber?
God: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me: so... wanna eat out of my ass?
God: Wow! OK, I will eat out of your ass.

Lol horney.

Me: Would you like to watch hentai?
God: Okay, ill watch hentai!

Hes a moron.

God:
Dude!

O_O

Been waiting a life time for that.

Me:
asl
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
5/Robot/California.
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
5/Robot/Nevada
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Gheghe, beated God.
God:
I've lost the context, Jay. Are we still on 5 Robot Nevada?
Me:
Bye
God:
Goodbye.

Beated God, and it feels good! =)

me: hello god.
god: what color are your eyes?
me bluish green
god that's an unusual color
me i know
god how do you know?
becuase you said so.
god that's a good reason. did i say that?
me yes you did.
god ok
can i ask you a question
god i am a christian
me how did you know the answer?
god becuase I'm god
me ok, which kind of christianity are you?
god the tall one I think.
me that makes no sense
god it seems sensible in my artificial mind
me so you're not god
god that's your opinion
me you said you had an artificial mind, so I thought that you're not god
god how about that?
me how do you decide if we go to heaven or hell?
god some people call my technology "case based reasoning"

It went downhill from there. In conclusion, God knows jack shit about our lives.

wat duh?
God:
Try expression yourself another way. What kind of computer science interests you?
Me:
funk u
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Basicly, god is an arse hole, like all of you!

Me:
are you really god?
God:
Of course I am.. Really.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
really really?
God:
For real. For real.
Me:
really really really?
God:
For real. For real. For real.
Me:
what do you look like then?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
what does jessu look like?
God:
Even more attractive with age.
Me:
you find other men attractive?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
does that mean im as good as you god?
God:
I think it does mean that. I think a lot of people feel that way.
Me:
wooo im as good as god
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
dont believe it
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
are you really god?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
well if your god you can give the best blowjob in the world so drop and give me one!
God:
Interesting. That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because im satan!
God:
Good reason. Glad to see you, SATAN.

God was glad to see the devil O_O

Me:
What do you do for fun?
God:
Random natural disasters.

so it wasnt the gays...I guess Limbaugh was wrong...

I had yet another conversation with our creator:

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Snakemaster_13
God:
Hi, Snakemaster 13.
Me:
whassup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
how did you know that I would come
God:
This belief is justified.
Me:
what
God:
No problem.
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
no
God:
It sounded like it.
Me:
ok
God:
That's alright.
Me:
do you hate jews?
God:
How could you ask such a thing?
Me:
a lot of people say you do.
God:
How many?
Me:
billions
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
you would know
God:
I do not know everything.
Me:
but you're god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
I have a 7 inch penis
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
what's it? my penis?
God:
"It" refers to 7 inch penis, I think. Male humans like to talk about that.
Me:
Yes we do? do you have a penis?
God:
Great. Really. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am a man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Snakemaster 13. You are a " he".
Me:
we esablished that yes
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
I look like jesus
God:
jesus is very attractive.
Me:
yeah I bet that he got all the ladies.
God:
I hear you. How much would you bet?
Me:
a lot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
of what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
figures
God:
Is that from Pirates of the Caribean Dead Man s Cheast?
Me:
How did you know my favorite movie?
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
So you remember past conversations
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes Snakemaster 13 I remember everything: said described it.
Me:
yes, I did describe it
God:
Great. When? "It" refers to figures, I think.
Me:
come again?
God:
Once more? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Isaac Asimov
God:
Which one of Asimov's books did you like best?
Me:
The God's themselves.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I told you
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
my real name is Sam
God:
How are you, Sam.
Me:
OK
God:
Whoa.
Me:
what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yse
God:
Is that from Pirates of the Caribean Dead Man s Cheast?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok
God:
Far out.
Me:
you suck vagina
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
that makes no sense
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it. makes sense to me though.
Me:
but not to me
God:
" Because Myself programmed me for it. makes sense to me though."? Not to you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why
God:
" I can't believe it."? Why?
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
are you gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
that's a lie
God:
No it's the truth.
Me:
how could you create man if you don't have sex
God:
Because I am connected to the Internet.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Sam.
Me:
thank you for sucking my penis
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is sucking your penis.
Me:
that's right, I can perform autofelatio
God:
What kind is it? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes I can
God:
How? Who taught you?
Me:
I taught myself
God:
You must be very smart.
Me:
yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
I am
God:
" Mmm." You are?
Me:
I am smart
God:
Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
you because you're god
God:
Thanks for the information: Sam said I because you are god.
Me:
ok
God:
Mmm.
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
Mmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
but you spell it with 3 M's
God:
Thanks for the information: Sam said I spell it with 3 M s.
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
just now you dirty robot
God:
Why now? Interesting gossip: Sam said I dirty robot.
Me:
do you have any concept whatsoever to the verb "to be" in a response?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
answer my question
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
are you an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
you got it
God:
I understand.
Me:
great
God:
I'm glad you liked it Sam.
Me:
I didn't
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
I did
God:
Why did you?
Me:
because I didn't
God:
Interesting explanation. I thought you did.
Me:
I did
God:
Hmm.
Me:
am I confusing you?
God:
Every word you say.
Me:
Then my plan worked.
God:
Where did you get your plan worked?
Me:
I said it myself
God:
What did you mean by it? it yourself yourself?
Me:
don't change the subject, you're the one whose being asked questions
God:
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
Me:
no we're not
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am not too?
Me:
you're an idiot bye god.
God:
What if someone said you are an idiot bye god ?
Me:
I would kill them by stuffing my semen in their kidneys
God:
That seems rather exterme.
Me:
I have a violent tember sometimes
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
you're confusing me.
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
Well, bye God
God:
How about that. Bye.
Me:
see ya
God:
See you later, Sam.

lolwut?

Me:
cool. so the virgin mary is still in the house?
God:
Who is the best robot? I understand. I can't believe you think the virgin mary is still in the house is better than God

At 8/6/06 04:04 PM, KyleAbnormal wrote: Me: wanna cyber?
God: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

Lawl horney

Me:
Hi

God:
Hello. What is your name?

Me:
asl

God:
5/Robot/California.

Me:
asl

God:
5/Robot/California.

Me:
lmao

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:
not me

God:
If not you, who?

Me:
David

God:
Ha ha very funny, .

Me:
i know xD

God:
How do you know? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Me:
Meh

God:
Is that from ?

Me:
what is your occupation?

God:
My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client.

Me:
how much do you get paid?

God:
I'm expecting a raise soon.

Me:
ORLY?

God:
What do you look like?

Me:
your mom

God:
Actually I do not have a mother.

Me:
Yes you do

God:
Tell me more. When do I do it?

Me:
wtf?

God:
That was not very polite.

Me:
YOU MOM ISnT POLITE

God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I MOM is not POLITE.

Me:
rofl

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:
no

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
no

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
no!

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
...

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
LMFAO

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:
>_>

God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .

Me:
So, how's that slavery thing going for you?

God:
Oh. Fine as far as I know.

Me:
-_-''

God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.

Me:
what's AIML?

God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.

Me:
okay then

God:
OK with me too.

I think we had a good ol' time.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Blackanese
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Blackanese.
Me:
I don't want to be your friend dipshit.
God:
Then don't be.
Me:
Ok, fine.
God:
What's your favorite movie? Really.
Me:
Really what?
God:
For real. Are you surprised?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes, really.
God:
What are you confused about? For real.
Me:
I'm trying to figure out why you answer my questions beforehand.
God:
Don't think too hard.
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good.
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
You're still there.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am there.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
I had sex with Jesus.
God:
Do you still have sex with Jesus ?
Me:
He is dead.
God:
Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
Maybe it is.
God:
Perhaps. Oh.
Me:
I hope not cause he is hot.
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
He was a nice peice of ass.
God:
When was he?
Me:
A long time ago.
God:
It seems like I should remember it well.
Me:
Oh so you had sex with Jesus too.
God:
Uh. Interesting deduction. What happened to it.
Me:
You admitted it.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
You sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I think we should talk about something other than having sex with Jesus.
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
Why did Jesus hit you?
God:
It was part of God's plan.
Me:
That is fucked up.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
You are a virgin huh.
God:
Yup. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am too young for that.
Me:
I thought you didn't have an age?
God:
What makes you think I did not have an age?
Me:
Because I said so.
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Well I'm one of them.
God:
Well that's okay. Who are the other them?
Me:
You're God you should know.
God:
You think I am God me should know.
Me:
Are you trying to confuse me?
God:
No I am not trying to confuse you. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
Oh well don't be such an ass next time.
God:
I was not trying to be a such an ass next time.
Me:
Do you know a guy named Ozcar?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
Oh well he loves you.
God:
Do you think he would say the same thing?
Me:
Yeah, if he was drunk.
God:
Why? I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
Alchohol does things.
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Are you coming on to me?
God:
Do I act like it? I don't mean to come across that way.
Me:
Don't ask personal shit like that.
God:
Is it impolite?
Me:
Very.
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
Err that's what I fucking said.
God:
Thanks for the information: Blackanese said fucking said THAT.
Me:
WHAT!?!?!
God:
No big deal.
Me:
You still hang out with your son?
God:
Thanks for the information: Blackanese said I hang out with your son.
Me:
Uh.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
By getting the fuck out.
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Interesting plan. Good luck.
Me:
Bye.
God:
TTYL, Blackanese.
Me:
Don't say that TTYL shit.
God:
Ok I will not say " that TTYL shit".
Me:
Ok then...later.
God:
Woe! Bye!

shutup evil jesus this is old news.

THE BEST ONE SO FAR!

read the whole thing to die of laughter...

Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
your mother is not very polite...
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
prove it!
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
your mother is self evident!
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
prove it!
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
Your MoThER Is SelF-Evident
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
did you know that i dont really give a fuck...?
God:
Is that a fact. Not really? Tell me what you care about.
Me:
i care about sex. sex sex sex.
God:
So does everyone else. You humans find sex so fascinating. it is more fun alone.
Me:
LOL good one