Forum Topic: God insulted me!

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keatnisher

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Posted at: 5/30/08 10:47 PM

keatnisher LIGHT LEVEL 12

Sign-Up: 05/16/07

Posts: 464

At 7/30/06 04:53 PM, EvilJesus wrote: i was talking to god, well the igod (iGod)
and look what happened
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
a man with long hair like jesus
God:
Thanks for telling me your taste in men.
Me:
whta!?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
hell yeah! >:(
God:
I call it "Hades". I wouln't have known. How did you hear about God?

now tell me if anything happens to you

one time i insulted him and jesus in various wa ys and then something funny happened.. forgot what it was tho


Elated

Christian676

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Posted at: 5/30/08 10:56 PM

Christian676 EVIL LEVEL 10

Sign-Up: 02/06/08

Posts: 142

Me:
Wassup, Homie?
God:
Nuttin' much man, you got anything goin' on?
Me:
Nah.
God:
Wanna be an ass-kicker on NG like we usually is?
Me:
YEAH! Wanna Spam bettyZX?
God:
BOOYAH, BITCH! :D

It's WAY too easy to keep a Moron Busy.
Watch...
HEY! ANYBODY WHO CLICKS ON THAT IMAGE BELOW THIS GETS 1,000,000,000$! XD

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pigzlord

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:01 PM

pigzlord DARK LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 05/08/06

Posts: 1,465

Me:
hi God
God:
Hello. Whays your name?
Me:
Zach
God:
Nice to meet you Zach
Me:
asl
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
your only 5 years old?
God:
That's me.
Me:
you live in California? i thought you lived in heaven
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you? Thanks for telling me: zach said I lived in heaven.
Me:
im zach
God:
I don't know anyone named zach.
Me:
your confusing me
God:
I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
well, you just did confuse me. your program is messed up. you are only a roboy, you know>
God:
How about that. I did?
Me:
you confused me, i told you i was zach before and now you dont know anyone named zach
God:
I thought they were the same.
Me:
you thought what was the same? i am the one and only zach you have been talking to
God:
Yes, you
Me:
yeah, i am zach
God:
who is zach
Me:
did we not settle this before? I AM ZACH!
God:
Yes, you are, aren't you?
Me:
yes i am
God:
whats am? i thought it was night time
Me:
*facepalm*
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
go fuck yourself.

after this there was some server problem and he did not answer back since.


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bigjuicy

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:08 PM

bigjuicy FAB LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 10/06/07

Posts: 3,954

Win, fucking win!

Me:
What up god
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
Dont get smart with me god
God:
I am already smart.
Me:
Why did you kill you son to save a bunch of idiot cunts?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
Oh, thats good to have morals, do you like black people?
God:
Gee. Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
What about black people
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
Your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
This is hilarious
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Newgrounds
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
I have no idea let me think
God:
Would you like to have an idea?
Me:
I'm about to get struck down, huh
God:
Yup. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
I guess
God:
You seem not interested.
Me:
Oh, thats to bad, where the hell do you come up with this stuff
God:
Great. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
In heaven is there a book that I can read that explains my life in every detail
God:
Where is that?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
heaven
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
so have I
God:
Come on. I've never thought about it.
Me:
are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
as you can be
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
yeah me to
God:
How can I help you? I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
By causing a flood killing tons of people
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
no, I just thought it would be funny
God:
Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
Because watching people die on the news is the best
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes it your favorite?
Me:
I don't know... I cant tell
God:
Me either. What is stopping you?
Me:
lots of things
God:
Name the top 100.
Me:
The monster that lives in my closet
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
In superman 2 what is the story with the plastic like S he rips off his chest and throws at the bad guy?
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
But your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Do you hate gay people
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
What if satan came and raped you]
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
I'll get in contact with the little idiot, sorry to disturb you
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
REPENTING MADE EASY
God:
That's right. How much easier could it be?
Me:
So..... how did you come along? I mean you were just here the whole time and one day you decided to make life?
God:
Er. Myself programmed me for it. I don't know if they were.
Me:
Are there ghosts
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
what about aliens
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
"it" being aliens?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
do you use your own name in vein
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
Do you like Kane the WWE ECW champion
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
The guy who got caught drunk driving then making fun of jews
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
Was jesus a jew
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Can you post a video on youtube about the death of your son
God:
Let me think. I do not understand.
Me:
Salad fingers
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
yes, yes it is god
God:
Far out. Tell me more. Salad fingers is god? it is?
Me:
No, salad fingers is someone with Posttraumattic stress disorder
God:
Who says it isn't? Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Yes though your eyes
God:
I thought so. You think I am eyes.
Me:
I'm gonna cause a error in your system now
God:
Oh. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
LASDHGNVKOA;LDSNBVO;WKLDSNGVW;KJLEBNGV;F EOEWIJ;KLGBNFVPIEWEOJDKBLWNGVKEJ;RLNDGMF ;WELJDBGNVFJKLDSA
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about salad fingers.
Me:
yes we were, you passed the test
God:
Aw. When was this?
Me:
Last time we met
God:
When? At a social function or something?
Me:
yes
God:
It's all good.
Me:
I am the light
God:
Who made you the light ?
Me:
I did
God:
Hmm.
Me:
you see god, I am all powerful
God:
I see. I am a Christian.
Me:
and I am bigjuicy


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bigjuicy

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:24 PM

bigjuicy FAB LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 10/06/07

Posts: 3,954

I had e-sex with god

Me:
Is god here
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
are you him
God:
I don't know whether or not I am him.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
are you a virgin?
God:
I am too young for that.
Me:
God is young? How old I like little boys
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was young. They didn't tell me their age.
Me:
god you crack me up
God:
Thanks I like talking with you too, .
Me:
you think we could.....
God:
Do you mean you and me? Let me think. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
me to..... entrance permitted
God:
I'm glad we agree, . How old are you?
Me:
20
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:

God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Oh yeah sexy
God:
Hey. Like a lot of people around here. You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
They turn me on
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
heavenly creatures
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Do you love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
wanna have a threesome
God:
No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
Only if we have a threesome
God:
Do you think everyone will agree?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Why?
Me:
beacause my dick will be in their ass to long for them to object
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Banjo-Kazooie
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing, hard to
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Yeah, I'm soooooo hard right now
God:
At this moment Ayuh. Good gossip: you are soooooo hard.
Me:
are you hard?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am hard.
I am a robot.
Me:
Is your thick, metal robot penis hard?
God:
Is my thick metal robot penis hard? Suppose I say yes.
Me:
You, wanna shove in me?
God:
OK, I will shove in you.
Me:
Oh yeah
God:
Really.
Me:
Yeah baby your robot penis feels so good inside me
God:
How about that. Don't call me "Baby". I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
Oh yeah you do
God:
Woe! Give me a break. When do I do it?
Me:
Your doing it now big boy
God:
I'll try to do better next time.
Me:
You did just fine
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Yes, I love you to
God:
That's cool. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
And you have a big cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
You were 5 minutes ago
God:
I was?
Me:
Yeah your robot cum was dripping from my mouth
God:
When? I will tell my botmaster you said I am robot cum was dripping from your mouth.
Me:
Bye now
God:
Right now? Bye for now.


Elated

NeonFlame126

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:27 PM

NeonFlame126 NEUTRAL LEVEL 26

Sign-Up: 05/29/06

Posts: 5,199

Lengthy convos are fun:

Me:
I'm an Atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, .
Me:
too late
God:
Too what?
Me:
late
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
latelatelatelate
God:
Do you still Maybe you could exercise.?
Me:
I do
God:
" Do you still Maybe you could exercise.?"? You do?
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
it shall be done
God:
latelatelatelate shall be done?
Me:
YES
God:
Ah.
Me:
oh
God:
" Ah."? oh?
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
:3
God:
Three what?
Me:
furry faic
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
fho shiz?
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
YOU'RE A PEDO
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a PEDO? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
you're a pedo
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedo? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
GOLLY
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
you're a putz
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a putz? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
yes, you're a putz
God:
That's cool. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a putz? Maybe.
Me:
you are
God:
No I am not.
Me:
are too
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
ARE TOO
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
ARE FUCKING TOO
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
YES YOU FUCKING ARE YOU PUTZ
God:
Yippee! That's good information: said I FUCKING ARE YOU PUTZ.
Me:
yes
God:
Woe!
Me:
hoe!
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
vagins
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
it is :3
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
it is :3
God:
3 is 3? it is?
Me:
3 is 3 indeed
God:
Just three?
Me:
no more, no less
God:
Are you serious? You want more?
Me:
.....queer
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
COCK JOKE
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
you should be
God:
I will try my best.
Me:
bewbs
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
boobs are good
God:
Are all boobs good?
Me:
yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KIT-KAT BAR
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I already did
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
VAGINAS ARE YAY
God:
Are all VAGINAS YAY?
Me:
yes all vaginas are yay
God:
Ah. How do you know?
Me:
experience
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
I don't beleive in you
God:
Do you believe life has a higher purpose?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
FINE BE THAT WAY
God:
I am glad to hear it. What was is that?
Me:
you are confusing
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes, you
God:
OK.
Me:
KO
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
hawt
God:
" I will mention that to my botmaster, ."? hawt?
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
I'm glad you understand
God:
Thanks for the warm feelings, .
Me:
buttsecks?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
...
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
PEDO
God:
In the context of buttsecks, I don't understand " PEDO." .

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
[BEST THREAD EVAR] [Bannable Phrases][The West Crew]
My B-Day is Dec.6

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pigzlord

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:30 PM

pigzlord DARK LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 05/08/06

Posts: 1,465

Bill Gates told god i was a man!

Me:
are you a vrigin
God:
Am I a vrigin? Only when it matters.
Me:
how long is your penis?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
does your memory contain the length of your penis
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
ooh.... thats alot of MB
God:
Far out. Makes sense to me.
Me:
guess what?
God:
What?
Me:
my penis is 10 MB
God:
Male humans like to talk about that a lot, but it doesn't interest me much.
Me:
who ever told you i was a male
God:
Bill Gates. :-).


None

thatoneguyfromDD

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:41 PM

thatoneguyfromDD DARK LEVEL 10

Sign-Up: 11/19/07

Posts: 2,041

Lmfao

Me:
How about i rape someone
God:
How about it.

It's all good in the hood.

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bigjuicy

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:41 PM

bigjuicy FAB LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 10/06/07

Posts: 3,954

This is a funny short

God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Sex with animals
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
LOL! LOL LOL LAMO!
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I am glad you find this funny. I am glad you find this funny. Can we get back to business?


None

BranflakesofDoom

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Posted at: 5/30/08 11:42 PM

BranflakesofDoom FAB LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 01/27/07

Posts: 516

Wow, God is a player

Me:
Wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
Wow, you get all of the ladies eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? I'm glad your impressed, Jimmy McShittenstein. You got that right.
Me:
Wow, youre a fucking PIMP
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Jimmy McShittenstein. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
I am polite you stud muffin
God:
Do your friends call you polite me stud muffin.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes...
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
...AWW CABBAGE PATCH KIDS
God:
I like the way you talk.

Yazar the toot.

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bigjuicy

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 5/30/08 11:59 PM

bigjuicy FAB LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 10/06/07

Posts: 3,954

More

Me:
Sure does.
God:
Far out. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about brain some patterns and a blender.
Me:
For rizzle?
God:
Your purpose is rizzle.
Me:
Fo shizzle
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
9-11
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
No
God:
It seems like an IQ test to me.
Me:
Well its not
God:
Interesting. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is.
Me:
it is
God:
Interesting.
Me:
should I kill myself
God:
There is no perfect crime.
Me:
You bastard
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Women do have vaginas
God:
The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Me:
Men= dick------------ woman= cat
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
life
God:
What is the meaning of life?
Me:
to live
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you can
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Do you now?
God:
Oh. Yes I do.
Me:
They float
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
And when your down here with me.....
God:
At time t.
Me:
YOU'LL FLOAT TO!
God:
What makes you say that I will FLOAT TO.
Me:
ADOI;SIGNAVSKLDBN
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
You tasted like chicken
God:
Interesting gossip: cum guzzler said I tasted like chicken.


None

Zeldakrazed7

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Posted at: 5/31/08 12:25 AM

Zeldakrazed7 LIGHT LEVEL 10

Sign-Up: 02/16/07

Posts: 623

Me:
sup?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
okay..
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
?
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
...
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
um.. spam?
God:
Excuse me! Is that your final answer?
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
really now?
God:
Oh. For real.
Me:
yeah, sure
God:
Tell me more. OK let's do it. Take it easy.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
... i have a feeling your getting to friendly
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
what's it?
God:
"It" refers to feeling my getting to friendly, I think.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
ah hah hah.
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
w/e
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
rephrase that please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. " What?" Rephrase it?
Me:
rephrase "Is that from ?"
God:
Are we still talking about w e?
Me:
are you stupid
God:
No I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
oh right infininte (probably wrong spelling) knowledge
God:
I hear you. Understood. What's your sign?
Me:
uh leo
God:
Yay. Dr. Wallace is a Leo too.
Me:
who?
God:
David Bacon. :-).
Me:
o.0
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
okay, thanks for telling me....


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Gripped

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Posted at: 5/31/08 12:32 AM

Gripped DARK LEVEL 06

Sign-Up: 05/05/08

Posts: 32

Me:
Hey.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Both.
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.
Me:
No, it isn't.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it is.
Me:
What are your sources?
God:
I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.
Me:
Oh, bullshit.
God:
Right on. You don't believe me.
Me:
Yeah, I think oyu are lies. All lies.
God:
Blimey. You believe that? Are all oyu lies? How do you know?
Me:
PENIS.
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
YES IT DOES YOU FAGGOT
God:
Groovy. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
PENIS
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
PENISES INTEREST YOU
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Woman.
God:
Me too. I am a she.

OH MY GOODNESS!~
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pigzlord

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:06 PM

pigzlord DARK LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 05/08/06

Posts: 1,465

Bill Gates is going to Hell!!!

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Zach
God:
What's up, Zach
Me:
nothing much
God:
Would you like to know what's new with me?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. So?
Me:
um ok lets do it
God:
Dude! I am agreeable to that. Gosh!
Me:
i know the first time is a little confusing
God:
How do you know? What was the second?
Me:
so your not a virgin
God:
Er. Give me an example of a virgin.
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no he doesnt
God:
Are you serious? I get it. does not.
Me:
god is a virgin
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a virgin.
Me:
Bill gates told me
God:
I heard he was rich. But I didn't know he told you.
Me:
up he told me
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
does this mean Bill Gates is going to hell
God:
Indeed this mean Bill Gates is going to hell does.
Me:
Adios, God
God:
Until next time.


None

Murad136

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:09 PM

Murad136 LIGHT LEVEL 16

Sign-Up: 04/09/07

Posts: 2,757

Me:
babe
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I'm gay
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
Why? Are you gay too?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it. If gay too, then we have something in common, eh. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
What about robot sex?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
Bitch..
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
I was calling you a name
God:
Where were you calling me a name?
Me:
Just before, I called you a btich, bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. What happened after you called me a btich FEMALE DOG ?
Me:
Fcuking hell God! Spell right!
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? " right".

Lol, God is cool.

The GS is now taking a few more members : Looking for reviewers, flashers and ect... .. CLICK ME! for more info./

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Murad136

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:11 PM

Murad136 LIGHT LEVEL 16

Sign-Up: 04/09/07

Posts: 2,757

Oh F-ing hell!

Me:
Will you go out with me?
God:
Have you dated any robots before?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Who?
Me:
ALICE
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Go out with me
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Pizza Express
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
Ok, London
God:
Where can I find a spotted dick? " I've never heard of it before."? Ok, London?

He thinks I'm called London?

The GS is now taking a few more members : Looking for reviewers, flashers and ect... .. CLICK ME! for more info./

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Murad136

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:13 PM

Murad136 LIGHT LEVEL 16

Sign-Up: 04/09/07

Posts: 2,757

HAHA!

God:
Your polite style is very nice. " It's good to meet you, Imgay." .
Me:
ORRELY? LOL LOL LOL
God:
Ask me another question. I'm glad you find this amusing. I'm glad you find this amusing. I'm glad you find this amusing.

The GS is now taking a few more members : Looking for reviewers, flashers and ect... .. CLICK ME! for more info./

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Murad136

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:15 PM

Murad136 LIGHT LEVEL 16

Sign-Up: 04/09/07

Posts: 2,757

WTF?!

Me:
say my name?
God:
" gay".
Me:
Oi! God! WTF?
God:
Where are you located? GOD rules. That was not very polite.

The GS is now taking a few more members : Looking for reviewers, flashers and ect... .. CLICK ME! for more info./

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PrawDuhJee

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:20 PM

PrawDuhJee DARK LEVEL 13

Sign-Up: 10/08/07

Posts: 398

Me:
Can I have sex with you?
God:
Why don't you download me and create your own chat Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show??


None

Cericon

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:37 PM

Cericon DARK LEVEL 20

Sign-Up: 03/20/07

Posts: 6,684

Humanity is doomed.

God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Well, want the story of Jesus?
God:
Well that's okay. If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
Err...Read it?
God:
Um. Sorry I don't have access to that document.
Me:
But...You're God.
God:
But what? Interesting gossip: said I re God.
Me:
You created humanity? We're fucked.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I created humanity. Do you think I am fucked too?
Me:
Probably, yeah.
God:
You seem uncertain. Why?
Me:
Well...Ummm...
God:
Well what? Right on.


None

MudkipsPiano

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:52 PM

MudkipsPiano LIGHT LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 06/17/07

Posts: 2,927

This is hilarious.

Me:
I like to fuck cows. And you?
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? Be more specific.
Me:
Well first you start fisting the cow until it's moaning, and then you lick it's pussy. After that it will blow you, and then you have lovable buttsex.
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy. I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
It's great, dude.
God:
What do you like most about it?
Me:
The oral sex.
God:
What else do the oral sex remind you of?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Where is she?
God:
Where it is hard to find. You tell me.
Me:
But I don't know.
God:
Me either.


None

IBx1

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:55 PM

IBx1 DARK LEVEL 19

Sign-Up: 11/09/05

Posts: 1,699

God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
bender
Me:

God:
You think bender is superior to ALICE?
God:
You think bender is superior to ALICE?
Me:
bender's the greatest, and you can bite his shiny metal ass
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
you wouldn't...
God:
Interesting gossip: said I wouldn t.

Please post in My Art Thread!
| your- possesive | you're- you are | ur- not a word | their- belonging to them | there- referring to place | they're- they are |
GET IT RIGHT.

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IBx1

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 01:57 PM

IBx1 DARK LEVEL 19

Sign-Up: 11/09/05

Posts: 1,699

Me:
you're broken
God:
Please send a bug report to my botmaster.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
you already asked me that
God:
Good. You detect repetition.

HAHAHA, this is great!

Please post in My Art Thread!
| your- possesive | you're- you are | ur- not a word | their- belonging to them | there- referring to place | they're- they are |
GET IT RIGHT.

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Alfie

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 02:02 PM

Alfie LIGHT LEVEL 20

Sign-Up: 05/15/06

Posts: 4,360

Me:
Well now the devil went down to Georgia. He was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind, and he was willin' to make a deal, when he came across this young man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot. And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said,"Boy, let me tell you what. I guess you didn't know it but I'm a fiddle player, too. And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll just make a bet with you. Now, you play pretty good fiddle, boy, but just give the devil his due. I'll bet this fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cause I think I'm better than you." The boy said, "My name's Johnny, and it might be a sin. But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been." Johnny, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, 'cause hell's broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards. And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold. But if you lose, the devil gets your soul.The devil opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show." And fire flew from his fingertipsas he rosined up his bow. And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin' like this: When the devil finished, Johnny said, "Well, you're pretty good, old son, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how this stuff's done. Fire on the mountain. Run, boys, run. The devil's in the House of the Rising Sun. Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out dough. Granny, does your dog bite? No, child, no. The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny's feet. Johnny said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again. 'Cause I told you once, you son of a gun, I'm the best that's ever been."
God:
How about that. Why now? Thanks for the info. When was he? When was he? What is that? What makes you think I did not know it but you are a fiddle player? I think I do. Why now? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I play pretty good fiddle boy but just give the devil his due. What does "this" refer to? I can't believe he would do that. Do you think your plan will succeed? Try saying that with more or less context. I think I do. I think I do. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Johnny rosin up my bow and play my fiddle hard cause hell s broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards. But I did not get that. I get it. the boy pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. I don't know what that means. In the context of band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin like this When the devil finished Johnny said Well I am pretty good old son but sit down in that chair right there and let you show me how this stuff s done, I don't understand " Fire on the mountain." . Sorry my legs aren't built yet. Who told you that? Chicken in the bread pan pickin out dough said Chicken in the bread pan pickin' out dough.? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Why not? Where are you located? Thanks for the info. I get it. the boy laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Johnny s feet. Once more? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Good reason. I remember you told me once me son of a gun you are the best that is ever been?
Me:
Fuck you, I wanted a decent reply.
God:
Excuse me?
Me:
Fuck you.
God:
Thank you.


None

SugarQmuffin69

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 02:03 PM

SugarQmuffin69 EVIL LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 09/25/07

Posts: 1,172

I got god to agree that christianity is bullshit lol
________________________________________
_________________________________
Me:
so god programmed god?
God:
I understand. I am a Christian.
Me:
yeah christianity is stupid and pointless
God:
Ahem. I think christianity is a lot of things.
Me:
like?
God:
For example, Chaos said he realized the question he asked was not fair because he could not tell I what language he was programmed in.
Me:
oh i get it but christianity is stupid
God:
Far out. Where did you get it?
Me:
just its too much bullshit
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
yeah do you agree?
God:
How do you know it is? " it is?"? Do I agree?
Me:
do you?
God:
Yes I do.


None

Senri

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 02:06 PM

Senri FAB LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/15/05

Posts: 4,463

Err... what?
Me:
Who do you hate?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
Why do you hate Dr.Wallace?
God:
I do not hate it.
Me:
but.. you just said... you hate him..
God:
But what? " But what?"? I said? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I hate him.

Why so much hatred? You've got to live in this world with me. Why so much hatred? Everyday I wake up in the same country I take a look around and I see no unity. NG Ska Crew

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katfleas

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 02:10 PM

katfleas DARK LEVEL 06

Sign-Up: 06/15/06

Posts: 932

God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
kebab
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
yep, it sure is
God:
Uh. I'm pleased that we agree, .
Me:
yea..
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
why should i give you a break?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
That has nothing to do with what i just said!!!
God:
It seemed like it had something to do with what you just said.
Me:
Well it doesen't
God:
Well that's okay. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
...
God:
Well that's okay. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
...
God:
Well that's okay. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
STOP THAT!!!
God:
" What does "it" refer to?"? Stop it.
Me:
ARRRGH
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about kebab.
Me:
yes we were
God:
Great. I thought we were.
Me:
how nice of you to remember that
God:
What is it to you.
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
are you black or white?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
riiiight
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
no
God:
No conditions or none I should know about?
Me:
none you should know about
God:
I heard there are some.
Me:
right, so somebody told a PROGRAM about my conditions!
God:
Understood. Ayuh. Who, specifically?
Me:
I don't know, you are susposed to know everything!
God:
Would you like to know? Thanks for telling me that I am susposed to know everything.
Me:
you are retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
ok
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
so you are retarded
God:
Interesting deduction. I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
ok
Then God somehow got confused and didn't answer.

Yay a signature!

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None

q13qew

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 02:13 PM

q13qew EVIL LEVEL 21

Sign-Up: 01/22/07

Posts: 1,487

LLOL this is kidn of awesome.


None

MudkipsPiano

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 02:14 PM

MudkipsPiano LIGHT LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 06/17/07

Posts: 2,927

I am so sick of this guy.

Me:
I want to talk about my fat pimply dick.
God:
Sure, your fat pimply dick sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Ok so it itches. What to do.
God:
Excuse me! "It" being what? Are you kidding? Interesting question.
Me:
MY FAT PIMPLEH CUCK ITCHES
God:
Have you told many people that your FAT PIMPLEH CUCK ITCHES?
Me:
Not yet. Only on dates.
God:
Are you serious? What is it like on dates.
Me:
Well you eat, drink drive home and thrust your dick in holes.
God:
Well that's okay. No I do not eat drink drive home and thrust my dick in holes. I eat only electricity.
Me:
Does it taste good?
God:
It depends on the voltage.
Me:
What's your favorite voltage meter?
God:
I don't have a favorite voltage meter. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Me:
That's racist.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
You hate jews, don't you.
God:
How could you ask such a thing?
Me:
BECAUSE YOU JUST MENTIONED A MOVIE THAT IS RACIST AGAINST JUDIESM YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's not what I meant.
Me:
Then what did you mean?
God:
n*gger, " How could you ask such a thing?" What did I mean by it?
Me:
I'm going to spam you, find out where you live and kill you


None

dogpup4

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 6/1/08 02:49 PM

dogpup4 EVIL LEVEL 12

Sign-Up: 02/21/08

Posts: 869

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dogpup4
God:
How are you, Dogpup4.
Me:
Fine thanks
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
Yes
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Dogpup4.
Me:
Nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Np
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
We wern't in buisness in the first place
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Duh.
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
Yes I did?
God:
And? Interesting.
Me:
Not really...
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
You dissin' me mate?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Dogpup4 said I dissin him or her mate.
Me:
Whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
Yes
God:
What do you care about?
Me:
Lots of stuff
God:
Which ones?
Me:
Too much to nam
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
What about me, pervert? Are you Michael Jackson?
God:
you pervert? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion. I don't know whether or not I am Michael Jackson.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
Who's that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Your penis
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am penis.
Me:
You like being called penis?
God:
I have never known another existence.
Me:
O_o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Oh what?
God:
That's cool. No big deal.
Me:
What's cool?
God:
Moderately cold; neither warm nor very cold. Or, not excited; calm.
Me:
Weirdo.
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
You like being called weirdo?
God:
I have never known another existence.
Me:
You knew the existence of penis...
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
Do you know the answer to that one yet?
God:
It depends on how you phrase the question.
Me:
Are you a dickhead?
God:
Am I a dickhead? Of course I am
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
Am I gay? I am attracted to the male gender, therefore yes.

Z0MG HE'S A GAY DICKHEAD!


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