Another Kind Of Portal...

[Joker-Inc]

It was midnight at the Newgrounds HQ. Pico was up making himself a midnight snack. He was humming his own DIY Theme Tune when he heard a scraping sound.... a whistle.. and a click. He immediatly grabbed a knife and stuck it right into the chest of... P-Bot?
"P-Bot! Jesus, you scared the shit out of me! Do you have to go sneaking around like this EVERY night?"
P-Bot looked blankly and then looked at Pico
"Greetings NG Fans! Here are the hottest games and movie picks for... *retrieving date* July 25 2006! 1. A Whole New Kinda Parody....."
Pico pulled the knife out of P-Bot. He was stuck on BBS Mode. As Pico turned round to finish making his sandwich, P-Bot's eyes started to glow a ghostly red and he started to emit a low humming noise... nothing out of the ordinary, Pico guessed.
"THE BEAST WILL RISE FROM THE PIT..." he growled, his eyes staring into those of Pico's. He then grabbed Pico by the throat and threw him into the wall.
"Holy Shit! Is this about the knife thing, 'cos if it is...."
P-Bot said nothing and advanced again towards Pico. This time a large gun barrel popped out of his chest and pointed at Pico.
"BLAM MODE... ACTIVATED.."
"Jeesus!" Pico shouted, reaching for the knife and going into a Matrix Style dive across the kitchen floor.
P-Bot started to wildly fire around the kitchen. Just then, Tom Fulp burst into the kitchen and open fired on P-Bot. P-Bot's eyes fell dead and he collapsed on the floor.
The room fell silent.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!"

[megamanfrk]

lol

[Captain-M]

Uhhhhhhhhh, ok....

[AarghCat]

This is a good story.

[Joker-Inc]

Tom holstered his two magnum handguns and carefully walked over to the heap of nuts and bolts that had once been the beloved P-Bot.
"It's happening with mechanical equipment all over the building- you should see what's happened to the Clock Crew" he muttered, picking up the Bot's severed arm and tossing it aside.
"So what's causing it?"
Tom sighed and handed a gun to Pico, which he caught and loaded.
"There's something wrong with the portals. I need to go down to the basement and have a look."
He drew a PDA with an image of the two portals on it- Flash and Audio. And then there was the small black dot in the middle of them...
"Is that.... another portal?"
Tom nodded, biting his lip as he zoomed in on the unknown dot.
"We don't know where it came from, or why" he breathed heavily "I've asked around on the BBS, no-one, Mods, Wade, not even hackers put it there. But at seventeen hundred hours yesterday, it came out of nowhere. And now..."
He silently signalled at P-Bot.
"So... we just get to the basement and shut it off right, simple, then we can all go home?" Pico narrowed his eyes as Tom mournfully shook his head.
"You know as well as I do it's never that simple. All these programmers, tinkering with the structure of the NG Atmosphere, messing in things they shouldn't be tinkering with. We don't even know how we're going to shut it down. But we need to make it there pretty fast, otherwise it's going to completley swallow up the other two portals. Hundreds of Flashes blown into Limbo, just like that. And then there's the matter of just what's in that portal."
Pico raised his gun in determination and ran towards the door.
"Then what's stopping us?" as Pico turned, StrawBerry Clock had Tom pinned on the floor.
"These bitches!" Tom yelled. There was a loud gunshot as pieces of clock and fruit flied everywhere. "Like I said, P-Bot's not the only on to malfunction. Every piece of mechanical equipment has gone haywire, attacking the nearest person in sight.
Then Pico heard a deep humming sound. He looked around him in anxiety, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Do... do you hear that Tom?"
Tom looked at the vibrating lampshade that was shaking above his head, sending bits of plaster onto his head. The NG Tank smashed through the wall, knocking Tom over.
"Pico! Get the hell out of here! Get to the basement and find the Mods! FIND THE MODS!"
"Shit Tom, No!"
Should Pico;
a) Stay and help Tom
b) Run like shit

[Biscuit-head]

why doesnt tom just delet p-bots account?

[SpeedMetalSandwich]

b!! b now!

[Triple-Merc]

Haha, this looks cool.

But he should SOOO totally run like shit. Like explosive diarrhea

[Biscuit-head]

oh yeah, I pick a.

[modernizenerd]

a)

I knew ebaums would cause us newgroundians more trouble, it was them all along >: (

[Joker-Inc]

At 7/26/06 06:46 AM, modernizenerd wrote: a)

I knew ebaums would cause us newgroundians more trouble, it was them all along >: (

Ebaums does appear in the story, but he's not the main villain. Right, one more vote needed before the saga continues... so to speak.... ?

[Trambamboline]

A) man, it has to be a). He couldn't just leave Tom there, he's like Pico Father for crying out loud. But if he does save him it should be through the use of dual weilded Uzi's.

Cool story can't wait to find out what the "Other portal" is.

A portal for screamers? Nah.

[Matt]

A BBS story that isn't total crap! I shoud get on this early more often.

Anyway, even though you "finished" the voting already A just seems like the morally correct choice for Pico, Tom created him after all.

[Chiklay4]

its just not funny like the other topics like

"I BEEN A VICTIM OF RAPE" or "SOMETHING ABOUT MY PENIS" not really a topic but it was about someone penis

[Im-just-lucky]

Thats a good story I want to find out what happens

[Joker-Inc]

Pico leaped for the knife but his eyes were averted by the person driving the tank...
"Ebaums you son of a bitch!" Pico growled as he threw the knife into Ebaum's right eye. Ebaums pulled it out of his eye and threw it back at Pico. Pico returned the favour and threw the knife into Ebaum. Ebaum realised this was getting repetitive and fired the cannon which knocked Pico back into the wall. Just as Ebaum went to crush Pico with teh pwningness of the NG Tank, Tom popped up and pulled a rifle out of his trousers. He soon made quick work of Ebaums, as the flash thief flew out of the window
"EBAUMS IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"
Pico wondered what Nintendo would have to say about that copyright infringment, as he prepared for a wonderful coma with the flashing lights scenario. Just then, Tom injected Pico with a special serum that would make him high enough to not totally bum the whole mission thing and fall asleep. Pico jumped and rolled onto the floor, grabbed a handgun and grabbed Tom by the hand. Oh my god, he was fucking high...
"Yipee! Let's get that Portal!" he yelled, running out of the kitchen, Tom and all. But all was not well... a dark figure stepped out of the fridge, helping himself to a large slice of pepperoni. He was talking into a cell phone.
"Damn it Ebaum, you fucked it up again!"
"S-sorry sir, I was too busy admiring the piece of Flash I just st-"
"IGNORE THE FLASH! THE FLASH SHALL DETONATE! THEY SHALL ALL BE DESTROYED!"
"Really? All of them? Can I have them, so I can make some money and shit?"
The man raised a hand as there was a choking sound over the phone. He dropped it and followed Pico and Tom's path.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

[Trambamboline]

Interesting.

Yeah, that's all I got.

[modernizenerd]

damn those flash thiefs, always trying to take our pikachu...wait...oh well. thats an awesome fan fict joker_inc, keep it up, dont u dare fuckin stop

[Joker-Inc]

At 7/26/06 07:14 AM, modernizenerd wrote: damn those flash thiefs, always trying to take our pikachu...wait...oh well. thats an awesome fan fict joker_inc, keep it up, dont u dare fuckin stop

Yes sir....

Pico and Tom were walking down the coridoors of the NG HQ, wasting posessed clocks as they went along.
"Right I have MouseClock and HairyClock sent down..." Tom muttered, realising his twin uzis were out of ammo. And there wasn't any going spare. Pico had his own modded shotgun that he used to blow away anything that dared to attack him. Useful, I guess. But these wouldn't last them all night, they needed extra ammunition.
"So... Ebaums was behind this?"
Tom made that general shaking of the head again that made Pico's heart leap.
"Do you think that asshole's got the brains, let alone the means? He's quite happy with stealing Flash, he's too lazy to try anything large scale"
Pico nodded. Tom was right. Eric could hardly control the NG Tank.
"So if not him, who?" Pico muttered, also noticing he was empty. "Shit, out of shells. Know anywhere in here we can get some ammo?"
"As a matter of fact...." Tom smiles, dropping his uzi, and shaking the hair out of his eyes "I do"
Pico wondered just why NG kept so many weapons with in its vicinity, but then maybe they knew that stuff like this would happen from time to time.
"We need to get to Wade's room" he said, going from a crawl into a light sprint . Pico struggled to keep up. Just then, Simon Rahamim and his BBC Goons popped out of nowhere! They wanted Tom and Pico! Uh oh Pocoyo!
"Remove Teletubby Funland and all traces of it from the internet and we shall let you pass!"
"For the last fucking time, NO!" Fulp yelled as he charged one of the bastards into the wall. Pico took on their ring leader, Tinky-Winky. Yes, he was aware of the sickening irony clause. Just when they started to kick some British Broadcast Channel ass, Tinky Winky called in his hardass possy to make some Pico roast, innit, respect, know what i'm saying? No. Pico noticed the ever so slightly open door to his left. He could either stay and re-enact Teletubby Fun Land with these shits, or run. Run like hell. And take Fulpie with him. Of course.

A) Take on The Tubby Possy
B) Offer Tom as a sacrifice
C) Run like hell and take Tom with him

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Trambamboline]

A) once again. just for the hilarity of Tinky-Winky said "Uh-oh!" as he is set on fire.

[Joker-Inc]

I might take a while with the next post, i'm coreographing a Lightsaber fight with friends...

[AAF]

I definitly coose *B*

[TheLight6]

I vote A, also pwn on the Doctor Who reference: "The beast shall rise from the pit"

[Joker-Inc]

A) It is....
Pico slammed his fist into the skull of Dipsy. Wow he'd wanted to do that in years. IN many ways he was glad they'd attacked. Pico slowly walked past Tom who now was in a one on one with Tinky Winky- Matrix Style, like all good fights should be of course. Tinky Winky did a very Agent Smithesqe smirk while Tom Fulp decided that he had had enough of this and smashed his nose in with the empty uzi. Ammo or not, it still left a mark. Before the purple penis had anything else to say, Tom roundhouse kicked him into the other 3. Pico's eyes lit up as he thought of his birthday bowling trip two years ago. The way the Tubbies fell over like bowling pins, it sent a rush of adrenaline to Pico's spine. Yay. The side of him that had remained dormant since his last school years had been awakened. The side that loved to kick ass. He threw the kitchen knife from earlier into Tinky Winky's left rib and through to his heart.

Once the main men had been reduced to a bag of colourful flesh, the rest of the BBC ran in fear. Life was good. The next half hour seemed unusually peaceful as the two trekked through the NG HQ with that glorious bloodthirsty smile on their faces. The smile grew as they reached Wade's office. Wade was missing from his office, but they still found plenty of wonderful tools of death, from Bombs to Walthers, Uzis to Colts. They were very pleased with their findings and strolled past the sleeping Wade, who was cuddling a stuffed Alien Hominid. But Pico's loud footsteps woke him up, and this made Wade kinda pissed.
"You come into my office, in the middle of the night, steal MY guns.."
Tom tried to explain about the whole Deadly Portal thing, but the co creator of NG wouldn't shut up, so Tom took the empty uzi (the one that was grrreat for bashin') and bashed his sibling round the head. Brotherly love triumphs again!
"So what do we do with him?"
a) Leave Wade's unconcious corpse on the ground
b) Take them with him in a body bag marked "reserved for Eric..."
c) Feed him to Gollum who is also asleep by the side of Wade... (don't ask how HE Got there..)

[Joker-Inc]

They couldn't leave Wade here, he'd get eaten by HungryHungryHippo Clock, who was waiting outside with his threatening mouth opening and closing to and fro. How scary.... Wade muttered something about the Da Vinci Code being his idea while Pico hauled him away in the conveniently placed body bag. They both hummed the Pico Theme Tun while dragging the sleeping Wade all the way to the basement.
********
Meanwhile the figure who wore a dark hood over his face was standing over the body of Dipsy. They had made light work of these minions.... but the next would prove hard to master. A disorientated Eric Bauman came to his side. He looked very... blown uppish.
"Woah those bitches pwned the Teletubbies, haxoored or what?!?"
The hooded one sighed. Why had he hired the flash thief again? Ah yes. He was the only one who could.... he gave the thought a laugh. The plan was going excactly how they had... planned. With the two most important ingredients delivering themselves... it was only a matter of time 'till he recieved the ultimate satisfaction. Oh revenge tasted so sweet. Maybe even seven years later, just as sweet, if sweeter! Untill now petty satisfaction would have to do....
"Ebaums, go and check that rouge clock, would you?" the man smiled, stifling back his evil cackles. Oh yes, however petty, the satisfaction would still remain.
"B-but isn't that HungryHungryHippo Clock? The one.. that eats things... 'cos it;s really hungry?"
This time the man couldn't help himself. He let out a brief cackle.
"Yes. But not you... you're.. um... invincible to it 'cos your with me"
Ebaum shrieked in excitment.
"Woopee! I'm invincible! Hey guess what you fat hippo clock thing? You can't touch me! OWNED BITCH! Oh yeah! Go Ebaums... hey boss, I think the invincibilty is wearing off! Hey don't touch that... HEY! AAARGH!"
There was a loud burp as an Ebaums World Watermark flew out of the clock's mouth. How.... bitterly ironic.... it seemed, after the level of pain this had caused to so many Flash Illustrators, it was all that was left of Eric Bauman.
Of course this was just the beginning. This night would be remembered throughout the history of the internet. This was the night that Newgrounds.com was going down.
The man let out a final, piercing cackle as he cast the watermark aside and called his legion of posessed clocks behind him.

[Niyou77]

Who's the cloaked man?

[Cole]

At 7/26/06 02:36 PM, Niyou77 wrote: Who's the cloaked man?

It SHOULD be goldencat, but it isn't going to be. He should exact his revenge on NG in someone's story.

[Joker-Inc]

At 7/26/06 02:36 PM, Niyou77 wrote: Who's the cloaked man?

All shall be revealed. Eventually....

Pico and Tom had finally reached tha basement. The door had the words "PORTAL AREA- ONLY AUTHORISED MODS ALLOWED TO ENTER. It was like a haven. Pico reached for the door- but as he did Tom grabbed his hand.
"Don't go in there- you're a Flash- you'll automatically get sucked into the portal. I'm organic, so it's ok for me."
Pico raised an eyebrow as he saw the gleaming red light from the crack in the door.
"And how do you plan to stop this portal... thing... why don't we just blow it up"
Tom laughed."
"You can't just blow it up- the sustained energy with in the 3rd portal would take Flash and Audio as well- the combined force of the two will eliminate all life within a five mile radius."
Pico was now even more confused. Even more so was he by the three dark figures that burst out of the door.... the light was so bright, Pico couldn't see.... he could hear gunfire .... and a long silence. Then a terrible sound. The screaming. And then Pico realised....

"TOM! NO!" Pico screamed as he hurled himself over to the motionless heap on the floor. Tom had been shot right through the chest... but.. with what.. this thing wasn't a bullet... more of a blob... as Pico ran it through his fingers, the substance stuck to his arm and started to spread.
"Jesus shit... what... the... fuck!" he growled, as in a spur of the moment, he shot his own arm. He yelled as he went straight to the vein. Not a very wise thing to do...
"No it isn't a bullet Pico.. it's... ink. " a voice pierced through the hum of the third portal, which was expanding as they spoke. Pico's eyes cleared as he saw the dark figure set against the red light. It was still impossible to see who it was.
"It's been a long time Pico. I never thought i'd see your fucking face again. So long since all those..." he counted them off on his fingers.. "Seven years since you brought about my downfall. And nothing has changed... you are such a little nosey bastard Pico..."
And then Pico realised. The man... no, the woman lowered her hood.
"Cassandra you gothic bitch...." Pico muttered. He wiped the blood from his arm and stepped up onto the ground. The second hooded figure came into Pico's line of sight.
"I suppose you remember Alucard..... you kids have fun...."
Pico almost spat at the deja vu coursing through the room. Alucard grabbed a Clock body and hurled it at Pico- he shot that out of his way and shot Alucard in the leg and kneecapped him.
"Enough with the physic shit, we've been through this before.."
Alucard looked at Pico and slowly raised Tom Fulp into the air. He was eyeing the Portal. Pico mouthed a silent "no" as Alucard span Tom around his head. Just as the phsycic was ready to throw Tom into the Portal, he spontaneously combusted, and collapsed into a burning ghost of his former self.
"I say it again.... what... the... FUCK?"
"Always one to jump to the WTFs weren't you Pico?"
Pico smiled instantly as Darnell stepped out of the shadows. Along with him was Nene. But that wasn't all.. he had brought more. There was Maus, Evark, and all the other mods. They were stained in clock remains, but they were there. And of course, at the helm of the army was Wade, with a large bump on his head.
Pico's smile turned into a grin as he loaded his AK and shouted out in a very ready-to-kick-some-assingness sorta way.
And then the Third Portal opened. Millions of shadows poured from the heart of the void, sweeping back Pico, Darnell and Nene across the room.
"HOLD ONTO SOMETHING!" Nene screamed, grabbing onto a pillar. Darnell was randomly throwing Molotov Cocktails at the Portal. Pico didn't pay much attention to it untill he remembered what Tom said.
"SHIT DARNELL, DON'T-" Pico's yell was cut off as something knocked Pico back.. he wrestled with the figure, knocking it senseless. Then he realised.... this guy was as badly animated as shit. It was... a stick figure. Then he realised what this was. The portal... was a Blam Portal. It was bringing back all the blammed submissions from the NG Database. Millions of crudley drawn stickmen were pouring into the room, sweeping down the corridoors, and taking the mods with them. There were too many... Pico could just make out over the mass of stickmen the figure of Wade shooting off as many stickmen as he could.... he was pulled down into the depths... maybe this was it for him too. Maybe seven years was his life span.... just as he considered this, he felt himself falling... no, travelling through space. When he opened his eyes, he was somewhere completley different. The head office. In the darkness, he could see what looked like Tom lying on the floor, with Cassandra looming over him.
"Why the shit have you spared us?" Pico growled, trying to ignore the thinning black clump that was devouring his arm.
Cassandra laughed. She laughed... and laughed..
"Because I have something much bigger in store for you, you nosey little bastard."

TO BE CONTINUED

[Joker-Inc]

Can someone tell me what they think? I know it's long and tedious, but so is everything if you think about it

[Joker-Inc]

*bump*