Internet

[gumOnShoe]

Out of millions of people browsing the internet with millions of things to do, about a year ago I stumbled a bit deeper into this site known as newgrounds. I didn't understand it, nor did I understand much of what the internet was. To me, it was just a bunch of pages put up by a bunch of different people that were all supposed to be interesting in some manner or other. Flash movies either sucked or were good, and I watched them because they made me laugh. I made them because I wanted recognition. Looking back, I feel like I was still right about on for what the internet was, but I have a much more refined view of what Newgrounds is.

At first glance, the most interesting thing was the portal. Hours of hardwork, or minutes of nothing went into entries which were then submitted for judgment to random people who would never meet but still felt the need to express their opinions. I originally saw this as a way for people to get better at flash. I used to review to tell people whether or not I liked their work, it was a system where I could leave my comments. I wasn't very guarded with my responses and I said what I felt, whatever was elicited from me by the movie. I was review banned for what one movie elicited from me. It surprised me at the time, if the movie sucked, why couldn't I say that?

I quickly took my question to the forums where I didn't recieve an answer. A friend had told me about the forums, and I wasn't really sure what they were, but it seemed self explanitory as to how to use them. So I asked, and I didn't get a real answer. I decided to stick around a while longer after my thread was locked. I found the bbs to be extremely stupid and indecipherable at first. It was like peaking your head into a cafeteria at school and trying to hear everything at once. But I was still review banned, so I stuck around.

Lillium made #1 at about that time. I wasn't a fan of the work, so I asked why it was #1, curious as always to find out why things worked the way they worked here. Finally people responded to me. Some explaining, some flaming... full of the usual bbs banter that doesn't really get you anywhere, but I began to realize just how powerful the forums were, and even more how many different viewpoints were present that were completly different than mine.

The very next day lillium was no longer top seat. In fact it was well out of the to 50, I gave myself credit at the time, but in retrospect, it was probably only a matter of time anyway.

I decided to stick around a little longer, I was bored and wanted to understand what drove the site and most importantly why I was banned. I found out about review moderators, and shortly there after, bbs moderators when I was banned from that as well. I read through the rules several times that first time, but was banned again. I e-mailed moderaters to find out why, I also reported abuse that I found. You see, about three weeks in, I decided I wanted to be a moderator here. Now that I've mentioned it, I'm sure it won't happen and for the first time, I don't care either. I think modship drives a lot of the users here to a lot of things. And I don't know how really effective it is, nor do I necessarily agree with the whole philosophy in and of itself. At points its very hypocritical with all the mixed messages sent by people who care too much and those that don't care enough.

Almost every decision and comment I've made since I've been here have been geared towards that position, now that I've finally got that out of the way maybe i'll be more me. I don't know. Chances are I'll be the same.

I originally came here for the flash. I leveled up like everyone else. I reviewed more or less like everyone else. And I always believed I was more intelligent than at least half of you. I still believe it.

Since then I just log hours on the bbs. Telling people how much I either agree with them or how much I disagree with them and then inflating or deflating their ego. But of the people that come here, a lot of them come here to offend, to get a rise out of people. Thats what a lot of people do in real life to. Here its amplified because there are no boundaries that really stop you. No one can hit you or shoot you on the internet, unless they can hack your computer or your account, and what do those matter. They aren't you. And I let those people get to me last fall. They had been insulting jews, most likely as a Joke, but I took it seriously because I'd been taught all my life to take that kind of thing seriously. Never again and all that.

So, when I told people to shove it and give me some respect and they all laughed, I was going to leave. Ozcar convinced me otherwise. I don't know why, but he was kind and I appreciated it. And he made mention about how he had taken a lot of abuse and look at him now, now he was a mod. It gave me a kind of hope he probably didn't mean to inspire in me, and I decided to stick around, to become a mod and prove I was better than everyone else. And so I continued to learn and read up on everything. I contacted people I liked hear and there, but only if it meant helping them or getting some question answered that I wanted to know about.

The one thing I never really did here was make connections with users on the personal level. I never felt the need for it, and saw it as a shallow call for attention. I spent a lot of time in the clubs and crews area, the jew crew having been my special project. The writer's guild kept me entertained and kept me coming when nothing else here was interesting. The chain story that I had started there kept me there for a long time.

[Ender0]

Of course there was another side of me, no one really realized existed at the time. A side I kept apart from me. When I was banned on my main account I would often post on an account called Grish_Noren. I made a few topics that got some interest and started some things. I made sure the accounts always avoided each other's posts for the most part, in my mind anyway. It probably wasn't too hard to connect the dots if you were following me. Anyway, I felt guilty about the whole thing and stopped posting on the second acount near january, except for the occasional post here and there. I wasn't as much of a stickler for the rules as a lot of people thought.

I generally did believe in the rules, I justified them all in my mind and thought about what they all meant. And I looked at all the features of newgrouds and what they all meant.

Then -Dawkins- left. Not many of you who are reading this probably knew him, any of you who have gotten this far probably did though. He inspired some sort of change in me when he left and caused a ruckis. Partly because he contacted me personally and continued to talk to me. I didn't like him much, but he interested me. So I watched him and what he did and eventually grew sickened of him, but the main thing he did was shake me from the system that I had bound myself to. I finished reaching level 10 around that time, he wanted me to regress to level 9 like him since levels didn't matter. I originally told him no, but of my own decision or laziness have stopped depositing for a while now consistantly.

I don't feel the urge to increase stats like a lot of the users here. They just don't mean much to me. They are just counts. Just "if then +=". I don't need any of that to feel good about myself.

Which probably makes you wonder why on earth I'm making this my 7000th post. In part its because of the standard that already exists. Everyone loves to make stat topics even though they are banned and dissallowed, I'd hope that this isn't so much a stat topic as I'm revealing a lot about myself in this unrelated, but it does allow me to make one more comment on post count because they do matter. They don't make you intelligent. They don't prove your loyalty. They just prove that you can write some stuff and do it so many times. They do give the illusion that people know what they are talking about because they appear to have been here a long time. A seniourity kind of thing that we can also see in the level system.

My main feeling on this bbs of late is that its a bunch of cycles. And I mean hundreds of them. The topics are similar, you see a lot of the same things rise up over and over again. Very little new stuff occurs here, but heated "debates"/screaming matches occur all the time anyway. I think very little of this all matters at all to real life, and as I said a long time ago, i care very little what any of you think of me. But I do care a little, which I never admitted before.

The internet is a very powerful way to influence people because of the mass exchange of ideas. Depending on how you put your foot in the water greatly effects which way it takes you and how strongly. This post isn't really going to change much of what I do. But it does contain a lot of my thoughts on this bbs and my motivation for being here.

I will most likely continue to be the regular that I have been and that some how some people have come to respect or hate.

I'm not going to go in depth anymore than I have, because there is really too much to this place to go into any greater detail. People come here becuase there is neat stuff, and people post here because they think they are neat or that something else is neat. The internet to me is still just a bunch of random pages that somehow attract people. But I've also seen what it can do, and the power it can hold over people's lives. Internet really is serious business.

[Pilgr1m]

Teh Interweb is Cool

[GoryBlizzard]

What a nice 7,000th post...

[Unimportant]

You should write a book about your internet adventures.
Hell, your post actually made me believe (for a good 3 minutes too) that the internet IS serious business.

[Lost-Chances]

I read it all and I have to admit, part of me wants to start a new account, start from scratch and go again with new friends, new reputation and new enemies. But the main thing that stops me is, I don't want everything I've built up over two year go down the drain. It's a waste and stupid.

[Jake]

I came here for the flash as well.

The forum is what makes people hate this site, sadly.

[Sawke]

couldn't get past second paragraph seriously no one gives a shit about your biography of life in NG.

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 03:13 PM, Sideral wrote: Teh Interweb is Cool

Yes it is. I've always felt that spelling out things in english was pretty cool as well. :)

At 7/18/06 03:13 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote: What a nice 7,000th post...

Its too broad and redundent for anyone to really care about it. :/

But nice that you can read 7000. In actuallity I have about 7600 posts, but you only see 7000 on this one.

At 7/18/06 03:21 PM, Unimportant wrote: You should write a book about your internet adventures.

It would be quite drab really.

Hell, your post actually made me believe (for a good 3 minutes too) that the internet IS serious business.

It is, regardless of what people think.

At 7/18/06 03:21 PM, Lost_Chances wrote: I read it all and I have to admit, part of me wants to start a new account, start from scratch and go again with new friends, new reputation and new enemies. But the main thing that stops me is, I don't want everything I've built up over two year go down the drain. It's a waste and stupid.

Think about it again. Whats the waste? Starting over or ever starting? It all depends on what you want. Everything is subjective.

At 7/18/06 03:23 PM, Eljimmy wrote: Too long, can't read due to lazy behaviour.

And yet you feel the need to post. :)

postcount += 1;

At 7/18/06 03:33 PM, -Platinum- wrote: I came here for the flash as well.

Most would, it is a flash site afterall.

The forum is what makes people hate this site, sadly.

I can't say I hate this site. I just can't say its really that great either. Its a hypocritical ball of love.

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 03:37 PM, problemchild1 wrote: couldn't get past second paragraph seriously no one gives a shit about your biography of life in NG.

Well, it doesn't really matter if they do or not. Its here. But I'm glad you felt the need to inform me of your opinion on my opinions.

I seem to have neglected a few other things I did here trying to feel my way around... including preceding bonusstage in his current trend which attempts to grab people's attention. I went for a week or so changing my name everyday. Had 30 alt accounts to hold the names too.... still have them around for whatever reason... Anyway, its amazing how seriously post count and name matter. People care less when your post count is low. I know that for a fact.

[Sawke]

At 7/18/06 03:43 PM, gumOnShoe wrote:

At 7/18/06 03:37 PM, problemchild1 wrote: couldn't get past second paragraph seriously no one gives a shit about your biography of life in NG.

Well, it doesn't really matter if they do or not. Its here. But I'm glad you felt the need to inform me of your ---

I stopped reading right about there.

[ZigZag]

Now 05 and 06 can learn how to create a superb e-rep' , thanks to your NG biography.

About Dawkins, he didnt left, he told us that because he wanted a new personality and changed his username to QuikFox, but mods realised he was still Dawkins and then, they deleted his account.

[NapoleanD]

At 7/18/06 03:37 PM, problemchild1 wrote: couldn't get past second paragraph seriously no one gives a shit about your biography of life in NG.

STFU AND READ ALL OF IT

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 03:45 PM, problemchild1 wrote:

Well, it doesn't really matter if they do or not. Its here. But I'm glad you felt the need to inform me of your ---

I stopped reading right about there.

Yeah, and you just keep posting. You continue to show me how much you don't care by trying to be funny but you've already stopped reading. No?

You don't surprise me, nor do you entertain anyone but yourself.

At 7/18/06 03:51 PM, ZigZag- wrote: Now 05 and 06 can learn how to create a superb e-rep' , thanks to your NG biography.

Its not that hard. Don't be an idiot all of the time and get a lot of posts. :/
Or the opposite. Be a complete idiot and get a lot of friends.

About Dawkins, he didnt left, he told us that because he wanted a new personality and changed his username to QuikFox, but mods realised he was still Dawkins and then, they deleted his account.

They deleted his account because he was spamming and being a bit of an attention whore and causing shit. He wanted deleted from almost the outset.

[N-Antichrist]

That was worth reading, thanks GumOnShoe!

congrats on 7k

[Lost-Chances]

At 7/18/06 03:38 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Think about it again. Whats the waste? Starting over or ever starting? It all depends on what you want. Everything is subjective.

All the time I've spent building the stats up, kind of a waste to let it die.

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 03:58 PM, NapoleanD wrote:

At 7/18/06 03:37 PM, problemchild1 wrote: couldn't get past second paragraph seriously no one gives a shit about your biography of life in NG.

STFU AND READ ALL OF IT

Less caps plz. I'm sure he is happy you gave him an ounce more of attention.

At 7/18/06 04:03 PM, Noob-Antichrist wrote: That was worth reading, thanks GumOnShoe!

Good, I didn't really have a purpose when I made it, just making it.

congrats on 7k

alright... thanks I guess. only an indefinate ammount more to go...

At 7/18/06 04:06 PM, Lost_Chances wrote:

At 7/18/06 03:38 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Think about it again. Whats the waste? Starting over or ever starting? It all depends on what you want. Everything is subjective.

All the time I've spent building the stats up, kind of a waste to let it die.

Well, then stick with what you have. If you don't like who you are change. Like I said its all subjective. If the stats really matter to you, do what you will with them, but they only matter as much as they matter to you and how much you care about how they reflect on you.

[gumOnShoe]

Its amazing how much two posts of long text could turn off the entire bbs. I wish all the regulars posted like this.

[GOD-OF-DEATH]

At 7/18/06 03:10 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Out of millions of people browsing the internet with millions of things to do

i got about this far, then i noticed how long your post was, ya mind summing it up

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 06:31 PM, -GODOFDEATH- wrote: i got about this far, then i noticed how long your post was, ya mind summing it up

Yes. If you cared at all you would read.

[Masculine]

I didn't know there were still ways to be obsessed with Newgrounds but you sir found a new one.

[GOD-OF-DEATH]

At 7/18/06 06:37 PM, gumOnShoe wrote:

At 7/18/06 06:31 PM, -GODOFDEATH- wrote: i got about this far, then i noticed how long your post was, ya mind summing it up

Yes. If you cared at all you would read.

Which i don't so shut the fuck up

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 06:37 PM, Masculine wrote: I didn't know there were still ways to be obsessed with Newgrounds but you sir found a new one.

Yay for me.

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 06:41 PM, -GODOFDEATH- wrote: Which i don't so shut the fuck up

You are the one who asked. Getting angry over the internet? lol.

At 7/18/06 06:41 PM, DaSadGirl wrote: Congratulations. You will now be a mod. :-p

lol, after andersson. :p

This is more like your personal BBS story. Nice read for me.

Thanks. Its probably the second most trueful story on the bbs. The only other one also being written by me. College 101, if you are that interested.

I knew who -Dawkins- was. He was an idiot, but still a cool and sometimes funny person. I didn't even realise he left. OOPS!

Yeah, that was about the sum of it, but he felt the need to talk to me on aim a few times. Probably because I was too serious.

( 20

02 ( :

[Zerok]

I noticed when you started posting well. It was an actual, notable and significant change. I remember thinking to myself, hey, he made a good post, cool. And then they kept on coming. And then I realized you were taking this place seriously and treating it like how the people who get the most of it treat it: with hearty respect and dollop of understanding for the moronic.

And you have gained my respect, my good captain, as an e-person.

Cheers, and here's to another 7000!

Also ban points +5-6 in this topic. >:)

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 06:53 PM, Zerok wrote: I noticed when you started posting well. It was an actual, notable and significant change. I remember thinking to myself, hey, he made a good post, cool. And then they kept on coming. And then I realized you were taking this place seriously and treating it like how the people who get the most of it treat it: with hearty respect and dollop of understanding for the moronic.

I honestly don't know when I actually made any significant change. I'm glad it was memerable and I didn't stumble off it by accident though.

And you have gained my respect, my good captain, as an e-person.

As have you, a long time ago.

Cheers, and here's to another 7000!

We'll see where the road takes me. :)

No promises. I'm actually thinking about taking a break and focusing on my flash for a while. My tablet comes tomorow. XD

Also ban points +5-6 in this topic. >:)

lolmodabuse. Wade shuld baan u. >:(

[Trendwhore]

You sound sad. Happy (merry?) 7000.

(sad as in unhappy. Not sad as in Star Trek convention)

[0peth]

That was worth reading. How long did that take you write by the way?

[0peth]

That was worth reading. How long did that take you write by the way?

*Fixed*

[gumOnShoe]

At 7/18/06 07:14 PM, Trendwhore wrote: You sound sad. Happy (merry?) 7000.

Not sad at all.

(sad as in unhappy. Not sad as in Star Trek convention)

I watch star treck :(

(then they canceled it... never been, never would go to a convention though...)

At 7/18/06 07:15 PM, -Notorious- wrote: That was worth reading. How long did that take you to write by the way?

An hour maybe :/

Not sure, I don't think it was that long, but I did it in notepad and had to keep closing it as I had other things to do. Like learning C++ for the first time and filming procedures with our laser camera.