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Yo, fuck children.

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Luxury-Yacht
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Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:42:59 Reply

Seriously, this job at Hoffman's Playland (an amusement park) is starting to affect me. I spend 5 hour blocks around dozens of random children and their parents. The thing is, I think I hate them. Which is unfortunate, because I plan on having children my self one day.

The problem isn't really how I don't like kids; I usually don't have any problem with them. Hell, a lot of kids think I'm great. The problem is that when I'm at work, the kids are all jacked up on sugar and fun, and the parents are sometimes, to put it mildly, unsatisfactory. Too many kids are out of control, and too many parents allow it to happen.

Okay, here's an example: I'm on the spinning teacups ride. 5 People get on, 3 young kids in one teacup, and a kid and his father in another. As SOON as the ride starts (it isn't fast, and wasn't even spinning), one little girl in the cup of three opens her gaping face and SCREECHES LIKE A HOWLER MONKEY ON CRACK. She's not scared, she's not unhappy; she barely even looks excited. Her face is expressionless, minus her maw. Then, her screeching, of course, invites other kids to scream for no reason. The boy in the cup with his dad is the most noticeable. He's screaming as loud, if not LOUDER, than the original screamer. Now, NONE of these kids are scared. They're just screaming for the hell of it. There are two things that are bad in this scenario. One: The loud boy was just being allowed to scream bloody murder, and his father did NOTHING to try to quiet him down. He didn't feep in mind that it was unpleasant for the OTHER patrons of the park, and he also was letting this kid potentially rip his vocal cords. Second, and more importantly, this screaming could very well alarm my boss. HAVING MULTIPLE SCREECHING CHILDREN WHO SOUND LIKE THEY ARE IN TERRIBLE PAIN DOES NOT MAKE ME LOOK GOOD TO MY BOSS. Please try to understand that.

Then, there's parents who let their kids run amok without putting forward any more effort than it takes me to brush my teeth. Example: A child comes up to the gate of my ride. My ride (teacups) is next to the Space ship ride, and both are on one side if the train tracks (there's a little train at the park that goes around). A diagram is at the bottom of the post.

The kid starts shaking the entrance gate to my ride furiously. He then bolts off between the two rides, towards the tracks. Then, the mother just walks slowly along, saying "Come back, honey" in a way that expressed no real concern. He is now between the tracks and my ride, once again shaking the fence. Then, the kid is virtually on the tracks. I look, and sure enough, THE TRAIN IS HEADING HIS WAY. I'm thinking, "OH SNAP he's gonna die". Then, the mother catches up to him (took her long enough, she walked the whole way), and the kid breaks away from her, and he TUCKS AND ROLLS, like Jackie Chan, underneath the fence around the space ship ride.Then he attempts to get in the ride. By now, all my faith in parents are now gone. Of course, She lets the kid stay ion the park. If it was MY kid, I'd take his behavior and his nearly being hit by a train as well as disobeying me as a signal that he is not able to presently behave, and I would have left. But, sure enough, they stay for about 3 more hours.

Now, I'm not saying I hate all the kids. Every now and then, there's a sweet, cute, well-behaved kid that minds their parents and puts a smile on my face. this doesn't happen as often as I wish it did. It is harder and harder to keep a pleasant demeanor the longer I work my shift.

Damn kids.

Yo, fuck children.


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Jake
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:44:18 Reply

Kids make me die a little inside when they do that. I was NEVER like that when I was growing up.

Purple-Slurpie
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:44:20 Reply

I'm sure that your post was wonderfull, but I didn't read any of it. I have no attention span.


I'm in ur plane, killin ur snakes.

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Luxury-Yacht
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:46:24 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:44 PM, Purple_Slurpie wrote: I'm sure that your post was wonderfull, but I didn't read any of it. I have no attention span.

FUCKING MODERN YOUTH


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OMGSTFUHAX0RZ
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:46:39 Reply

Most of us were like that once, some no, I hated lots of stuff when I was little so I was an outcast kid. I never enjoyed kiddy things. Being a teen pwns.

Purple-Slurpie
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:46:59 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:46 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote:
At 7/15/06 11:44 PM, Purple_Slurpie wrote: I'm sure that your post was wonderfull, but I didn't read any of it. I have no attention span.
FUCKING MODERN YOUTH

I agree. Damn Kids.


I'm in ur plane, killin ur snakes.

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TenSecondTom
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:47:05 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:42 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote: Damn kids.

Blame the parents, not the kids.

Digitalicious
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:47:30 Reply

I fail to see how fucking children will solve the problem. =/

HoboPorn
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:47:30 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:44 PM, Purple_Slurpie wrote: I'm sure that your post was wonderfull, but I didn't read any of it. I have no attention span.

Post somthing productive then =P

Yeah I hate little kids as well.....I also hate old people (I used to work at an old folks home and ....there....all....bitches)

Purple-Slurpie
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:48:43 Reply

We need to bring back the beatings. That seemed to work back in the day.


I'm in ur plane, killin ur snakes.

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Ted-Easton
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:50:21 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:42 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote: Every now and then, there's a sweet, cute, well-behaved kid that minds their parents and puts a smile on my face.

Here, my friend, is the single and solitary flaw in your logic. EIther hate them all or don't hate any. There's no fence-sitting on this issue. Are children the spawn of Satan or not?

I, for one, say yes.

X-Naut
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:50:28 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:42 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote: Damn kids.

If anything, the parents should be blamed. They should know how to take care of their children.


Filler text.
Because this space needs to be bigger than it already should be.
Jigen made this sig. madknt downsized it to fit the filesize limit. Go team.

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gizmo13
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:51:48 Reply

Get a different job or earplugs.

Luxury-Yacht
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:51:48 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:50 PM, Ted_Easton wrote: Are children the spawn of Satan or not?

In that case, they are all the spawn of Satan, but I don't hate the ones that pretend that they aren't evil.


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pt9-9
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:53:31 Reply

Atleast you know that you'll be a good parent, or endeavor to become one.

Chumbawamba
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:53:33 Reply

The place in your post reminds me of Funtown Splashtown USA. I need to go there some time this summer.

Anyways, I also hate it when kids act up, and their parents do nothing about it. Personally, I've never seen a kid act that way. I guess the parents were raised differently in Maine, so they raise their children differently. All of the kids around here are pretty well-behaved.

Your job experience sounds like a pain, but at least you get to be out in a place that does have its good moments. I don't mean to sound like I'm saying I have it worse than you, but I'm a dishwasher, and all I do is stay in the same square for 6-7 hours and wash dishes. Not fun at all. Some of the waitresses are pretty good looking, though.

Just make damn sure you never raise your kids like that. If you're thinking about that all day, you'll probably feel a little better if seeing these kids turns you away from having children yourself.


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Sugary-Cupcakes
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:53:37 Reply

My kid (if son) is going to be cool
but i just dont want to be around him for the first 6 or 7 years of his life

IAMABLACKMAN
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:53:54 Reply

I live in albany too.
I used to go to that place..
When I was like 7.
Haha.

Shitcakeclock
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:54:37 Reply

Amen to that, kids are awful.

Lagerkapo
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:57:32 Reply

you DO knwo that the title of this thread is also an adequate form of disciplinary action to keep those damn kids in line?

but i couldn't agree more. i fucking hate little kids. every now and then one will be cool, but the 99/100 that aren't make it hard for me to give the one good one a chance in the first place. i work at taco bell and parents will often come in and let their kids run around in circles screaming for 10 minutes, BARELY trying to calm them down, and when they finally get their child's order (ALWAYS a soft taco kids meal for each one) the child starts screaming that it wants something else, and then reverts to the soft taco kids meal in the end, wasting the time of me, the taker of the order, and the 50 people who will have unfailingly amassed behind them.

the other thing is when i'm in drive through window they make faces at me, or throw stuff at me, and i just want to leap out of the window and rip their heads off of their necks and bludgeon the failures of parents that neglected to raise their children.

i also hate when some mexican mom and dad who can't even speak enough english to read the menu have their 6 year old daughters with the shrill-as-fuck voices order for them and then the child is so inept at it that i end up having to call over the manager to clear the smoking and broken screen of the ninty failed attempts at an order of twists and a taco.

fuck children...


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Luxury-Yacht
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:57:42 Reply

To ake things worse, I got a check last night.

It was for $7.80.

SEVEN DOLLARS AND EIGHTY CENTS.

Of course, that's AFTER taxes.


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HoboPorn
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:58:14 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:57 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote: To ake things worse, I got a check last night.

It was for $7.80.

SEVEN DOLLARS AND EIGHTY CENTS.

Of course, that's AFTER taxes.

WTF???? how many hours did you work?

Chumbawamba
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:59:21 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:57 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote: To ake things worse, I got a check last night.

It was for $7.80.

SEVEN DOLLARS AND EIGHTY CENTS.

Of course, that's AFTER taxes.

That has to have been an error. I got my check today, and I got $210.


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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-15 23:59:57 Reply

Yeah... We really do suck...

TheChaosDemon
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-16 00:02:42 Reply

Make the kids ride the teacups, then speed it up to MACH 7, and see how the little bastards like that.

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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-16 00:03:52 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:47 PM, Digitalicious wrote: I fail to see how fucking children will solve the problem. =/

We do not want pedophiles on Newgrounds. Account deletion is required.

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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-16 00:08:31 Reply

I hate kids too, but sometimes I wish I still was one because now that im older, I can't go on rides anymore, I exceed the height limit of every ride of six flags, it sucks, last time I went to get on Superman, the height limit was 6'4", I was an inch and a half over the limit, I waited 3 hours in line for nothing, fucking bastards. Im now 6'7" and can't do many things because of my height, for example, I finished my last driving lesson a while ago...EVERY SINGLE LESSON they had the smallest fucking car they could find waiting for me...what the fuck?!? I mean seriously, they know im too tall to fit in the cars, why the fuck did they bring such a small car throughout all the lessons? Dumb fucking people.

Kids do piss me off...a lot, their too immature, I don't care if their young, they shouldn't act the way they do, and yes I agree children should be beaten, every time I go to the pool theres some stupid little kid who won't leave me alone, especially the 10 year olds who think their all cool and shit throwing their stupid pool toys at me (until I throw them over the fence and into the pond XD). I can remember so many times going down there and some dumbass named Blaise or Blaze however the fuck you spell it (was his mother on crack when she named him?) who would constantly throw a waterlogged football and hit me in the face...so many times I wanted to push his fucking head under the water until the bubbles stopped. And I can't even yell at him for it because his fat whore mother is part of the management in this crappy place and can get me banned from the pool.

Kids ARE the spawn of satan (AND IM ATHEIST, I DONT BELIEVE IN SATAN OR GOD!).

What?


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Makaveli
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-16 00:09:17 Reply

This is what should happen:

1.)Mommy I want candy!

2.)No, (childs name) we have candy at home..

3.)I don't like that candy!

4.)Too bad, that is the candy you are gonna have too eat.

5.)Mommy!

*Slap*

After a few times of this, the child wont go past 2 again... It's the parents fault

Luxury-Yacht
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Response to Yo, fuck children. 2006-07-16 00:13:13 Reply

At 7/15/06 11:59 PM, Chumbawamba wrote:
At 7/15/06 11:57 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote: To ake things worse, I got a check last night.

It was for $7.80.

SEVEN DOLLARS AND EIGHTY CENTS.

Of course, that's AFTER taxes.
That has to have been an error. I got my check today, and I got $210.

No, they just have such an erratic way of doing things that they actually bothered to give me a check for a day where I worked for 75 minutes and the park got closed due to rain. I'm not even going to cash it, I'm hanging it on the wall.


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