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Try fucking her with your eyes closed. Honestly, just looking at that picture makes me think I will be forever flaccid.

Dear lord.

If you want a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, you need to be open with her about it -- to maintain consistent and honest communication is key. Instead of asking NG, you should be talking to her and working out ways to make the experience more pleasurable for the both of you. Basically, get it out in the open and go from there.

The fact that you said you would pull out of the relationship if it "got serious" and that you posted her picture on here for public ridicule makes me doubt that's even worth it, though. Since, you know, people who actually care about each other will take the time to do such things like converse about and remedy their intimate (private) problems. That is certainly not the case here.

The concept of shallow sex is so depressing to me. If you want the truth, I think you should just go back to masturbation and wait for someone you can connect with not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. D:

At 7/7/06 03:45 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:

...can anyone offer me an explanation/advice?

Oh, and dont bother telling me to leave her. Unless it gets serious, Im not going to.

I was gonna tell you to kill her. That or tie her to the bed and make her stay awake.
Or bet her that you can outlast her, that might work.

but if all else fails, kill her.

See this is EXACTLY what I am talking about! Nerds talking about there girl friends they have never had, and will never have! Stop taking about your imaginary girlfriend!

At 7/7/06 04:47 AM, themysteryman wrote: See this is EXACTLY what I am talking about! Nerds talking about there girl friends they have never had, and will never have! Stop taking about your imaginary girlfriend!

I can admit I dont have a girlfriend.
Im not a nerd, but I dont have a girlfriend.
But I cant admit im fat. Im not even at the designated cut off weight for fatness.

At 7/7/06 04:49 AM, seshiro wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:47 AM, themysteryman wrote:

I can admit I dont have a girlfriend.
Im not a nerd, but I dont have a girlfriend.
But I cant admit im fat. Im not even at the designated cut off weight for fatness.

man i am proud of you! Finally somone admits it! No offence, that was a complement.

You need to drop out of the "fat chick" stage. Alot of my friends went through that. It's sad really. You're girlfriend is ugly, dump her and find a better girl.

What could be worse than a girl who sucks in bed isn't hot?

a dead horse?
your couch?

Blow up dolls just won't do the trick.

Haha, cum then sleep. Must be funny to see her wake up in the morning covered in her own semen.

At 7/7/06 04:51 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:47 AM, themysteryman wrote: See this is EXACTLY what I am talking about! Nerds talking about there girl friends they have never had, and will never have! Stop taking about your imaginary girlfriend!

What's imaginary about his girlfriend, any loser could hit that.

It looks like someone beat your girlfriend with the ugly stick... Or, the ugly fucking tree fell on her as a child...

At 7/7/06 04:54 AM, Acid-Rain wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:51 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote: At 7/7/06 04:47 AM,

What's imaginary about his girlfriend, any loser could hit that.

!
damn! your right! BLAH. what an ugly peice! Man i would rather not have a girlfriend than to have that beast of a "female".

Throws up

Maybe your hand needs more practise.

At 7/7/06 04:47 AM, themysteryman wrote: See this is EXACTLY what I am talking about! Nerds talking about there girl friends they have never had, and will never have! Stop taking about your imaginary girlfriend!

your 13 and love doom the movie.. nuff said.

At 7/7/06 04:52 AM, themysteryman wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:49 AM, seshiro wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:47 AM, themysteryman wrote:

I can admit I dont have a girlfriend.
Im not a nerd, but I dont have a girlfriend.
But I cant admit im fat. Im not even at the designated cut off weight for fatness.

man i am proud of you! Finally somone admits it! No offence, that was a complement.

Uh thank you? Yeah I am not a nerd, I just dont have anything to do all day, because my friends are never home. ='(

At 7/7/06 04:55 AM, teh_ecks_bawks_hater wrote: It looks like someone beat your girlfriend with the ugly stick... Or, the ugly fucking tree fell on her as a child...

Or she was pushed down the ugly steps of the ugly building
Sorry shadow xxi, me and your girl have no beef.

she does however have much much beef in her

At 7/7/06 04:58 AM, Mr_Anarchy wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:47 AM, themysteryman wrote: See this is EXACTLY what I am talking about! Nerds talking about there girl friends they have never had, and will never have! Stop taking about your imaginary girlfriend!

your 13 and love doom the movie.. nuff said.

One of your favorite bands is Led Zeppelin, while you even spell it wrong.

Like a woman would throw a man a bottle of lotion you better throw her the pack of hot dogs and a bottle of conditioner.

At 7/7/06 04:58 AM, Mr_Anarchy wrote: your 13 and love doom the movie.. nuff said.

And you are 80 and you listen to system of a down.

BURNED.

One of your favorite bands is Led Zeppelin, while you even spell it wrong.

Led Zeppelin is the correct spelling dumbass.

At 7/7/06 04:59 AM, seshiro wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:55 AM, teh_ecks_bawks_hater wrote: It looks like someone beat your girlfriend with the ugly stick... Or, the ugly fucking tree fell on her as a child...

Or she was pushed down the ugly steps of the ugly building

Or Maybe she was beaten with the ugly brick and then bathed in the ugly shower, and then fed the ugly eggs the next morning...

I think I may have just killed the joke...

At 7/7/06 05:02 AM, themysteryman wrote:

At 7/7/06 04:58 AM, Mr_Anarchy wrote: your 13 and love doom the movie.. nuff said.

And you are 80 and you listen to system of a down.

my age was simply a joke. you can't be burned for a joke you said. unless the joke involved babyraping. eww. anyway system of a down sing in parablles, NOT UNLIKE JESUS!!!!

At 7/7/06 05:06 AM, Mr_Anarchy wrote:

One of your favorite bands is Led Zeppelin, while you even spell it wrong.

Led Zeppelin is the correct spelling dumbass.

Thats what I said, this is a picture of your 'favorite band' took out of your profile you idiot.

At 7/7/06 05:07 AM, shadow699 wrote:..

I think I may have just killed the joke...

sorta....

The concept of shallow sex is so depressing to me. If you want the truth, I think you should just go back to masturbation and wait for someone you can connect with not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. D:

wow, someone finaly saying something close to sensible instead of comenting about her weight :(

At 7/7/06 05:11 AM, DarkSytze wrote:

At 7/7/06 05:06 AM, Mr_Anarchy wrote:

One of your favorite bands is Led Zeppelin, while you even spell it wrong.

Led Zeppelin is the correct spelling dumbass.

Thats what I said, this is a picture of your 'favorite band' took out of your profile you idiot.

so your going to critisize me over a typo? is your life really that boring?

At 7/7/06 05:13 AM, Mr_Anarchy wrote:

At 7/7/06 05:11 AM, DarkSytze wrote:

At 7/7/06 05:06 AM, Mr_Anarchy wrote:

One of your favorite bands is Led Zeppelin, while you even spell it wrong.

Led Zeppelin is the correct spelling dumbass.

Thats what I said, this is a picture of your 'favorite band' took out of your profile you idiot.

so your going to critisize me over a typo? is your life really that boring?

Your calling me a dumbass for spelling the name right, it is LED ZEPPELIN. Its spelled that right. Then you quote me and tell me the excast name I gave you before. Yet you call me a dumbass and then I'm showing you a typo you make and you come up with this lameass excuse?

Fuck you.

First time to her? is she afraid of getting pregnant? <-- answer

At 7/7/06 05:30 AM, weirdoo wrote: First time to her? is she afraid of getting pregnant? <-- answer

Shadow might rethink a condom in that case. To bad Fyndir and Jade aren't going to use it and get herpes.