Forum Topic: My girlfriend is awful in bed.

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Angry

Shadow-XII

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:45 AM

Shadow-XII FAB LEVEL 26

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Yes.

She gets horny as hell, is very interesting, and overall a good fuck.

While it lasts.

She(Sarah) lasts about ten minutes before literally pushing me out of her and falling asleep. Yep, she comes then falls asleep.

Now. She gets really horny and basically goes right for it, but has me in there for about ten minutes before she cant take anymore.

This is insane. Guys have an excuse for that kind of thing due to premature ejaculation, but I have NEVER heard of this kind of thing happening to a girl.

Im thinkin this might be some kind of sexual/physical condition...can anyone offer me an explanation/advice?

Oh, and dont bother telling me to leave her. Unless it gets serious, Im not going to.

Looking for stupid people is like finding hay in a hay stack.

Well, you're here, aren't you?

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Syzyde

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:46 AM

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maybe she's nervous? :P


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HeinousDude

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:47 AM

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cum faster next time.

don't arouse her too much.

foreplay with your crotch a lot more so you are ready to go when you put it in.

when you finally pull this off fall asleep and push her away.


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esko-man

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:47 AM

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its called -- prematur vaginal critical consumption -- and I made that up, but it sounds fiting


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JackRabbitStudios

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:50 AM

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Holy shit!

Horny as hell, overall good fuck and falls asleep after only 10 minutes of sex withouth cuddling.

Dude, your girlfriend is the man in bed. All she needs is a sandwich during intercourse and than you're fucked.

"Eggplant tastes like eggplant....but meat tastes like murder and murder tastes pretty God damn good, doesn't it?"-Dennis Leary (No Cure for Cancer)


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Freakish-Beast

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:51 AM

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a type of viagara for women?


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esko-man

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:52 AM

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his girlfrind is probably ugly, and if not, post a pic of her...


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2good2b4goten

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:53 AM

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Does she ever put out?

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Masculine

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:55 AM

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Call the doctor.


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Shadow-XII

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:57 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:50 AM, JackRabbitStudios wrote: Dude, your girlfriend is the man in bed. All she needs is a sandwich during intercourse and than you're fucked.

Yeah...you dont seem to realise that this is a problem for me. Im the kind of guy who can(and likes to) go for hours.

At 7/7/06 03:52 AM, esko_man wrote: his girlfrind is probably ugly, and if not, post a pic of her...

7/10.

My girlfriend is awful in bed.

Looking for stupid people is like finding hay in a hay stack.

Well, you're here, aren't you?

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Gwarfan

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:58 AM

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She's the man of the relationship.

Go make me a sammich bitch.

"Will I Succeed, Paranoid from the Weed..." - 2Pac
==GO BUFFALO BILLS== "Da Bills..."

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Angry

DestroyerofMan

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:58 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:57 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:
7/10.

OH SWEET JESUS I'M GONNA THROW UP.

Ug-ly.


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HeinousDude

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:58 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:57 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:
At 7/7/06 03:52 AM, esko_man wrote: his girlfrind is probably ugly, and if not, post a pic of her...
7/10.

Chunky. That camera angle is too cliche to retain its fat-hiding ability.


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fahrenheit

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:59 AM

fahrenheit DARK LEVEL 17

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Two words.

Roleplaying rape.

Faith tramples all reason, logic, and common sense.
Take the child, give him your breast, and remember me - Jesus - Infancy 18:3
PM me for a sig.

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DanteMayCry

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Posted at: 7/7/06 03:59 AM

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Well how long do you want her to last?

Thanks to MadCow for my ultra bad ass sig.

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Shadow-XII

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:01 AM

Shadow-XII FAB LEVEL 26

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At 7/7/06 03:58 AM, HeinousDude wrote: Chunky. That camera angle is too cliche to retain its fat-hiding ability.

Let's try that again.

My girlfriend is awful in bed.

Looking for stupid people is like finding hay in a hay stack.

Well, you're here, aren't you?

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Oro

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:01 AM

Oro DARK LEVEL 25

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Are you sure you don't just collapse after 10 minutes of fatigue? After all, holding all dem rolls up has gotta take something out of you


Angry

DestroyerofMan

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:01 AM

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At 7/7/06 04:01 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:
At 7/7/06 03:58 AM, HeinousDude wrote: Chunky. That camera angle is too cliche to retain its fat-hiding ability.
Let's try that again.

Okay, better.


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Ingro1

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:01 AM

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Chunky. That camera angle is too cliche to retain its fat-hiding ability.

thats not very nice >:(


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JackRabbitStudios

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:02 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:57 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote: Yeah...you dont seem to realise that this is a problem for me. Im the kind of guy who can(and likes to) go for hours.

Well, if that's the case than try to stop just banging her in bed. Too convient in the bed, she could just fuck and sleep. Now, if you do it in the kitchen or linen closet or even in the back yard, than that convienence associated with sleep after sex could be altered.

Either that or try to bang her when she's just woken up.

"Eggplant tastes like eggplant....but meat tastes like murder and murder tastes pretty God damn good, doesn't it?"-Dennis Leary (No Cure for Cancer)


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Shadow-XII

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:02 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:59 AM, DanteMayCry wrote: Well how long do you want her to last?

Im an all nighter kind of guy.

But I'll settle for an hour or so with this girl - 10 minutes just fucking sucks.

Looking for stupid people is like finding hay in a hay stack.

Well, you're here, aren't you?

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HeinousDude

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:02 AM

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At 7/7/06 04:01 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:
At 7/7/06 03:58 AM, HeinousDude wrote: Chunky. That camera angle is too cliche to retain its fat-hiding ability.
Let's try that again.

Chunky. I'm 40 pounds overweight and my cheeks don't droop like that, nor do they make as apparent a separation from the chin.

don't let her see this thread.

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DanteMayCry

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:05 AM

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At 7/7/06 04:02 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:
At 7/7/06 03:59 AM, DanteMayCry wrote: Well how long do you want her to last?
Im an all nighter kind of guy.

But I'll settle for an hour or so with this girl - 10 minutes just fucking sucks.

Other than just sliping your dick into her try different things like anal, 69ing, titfucking, then like after all that stuff then slip ur dick in there.

Thanks to MadCow for my ultra bad ass sig.

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Angry

PantsAndSandals

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:07 AM

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I think I just threw-up in my mouth a little bit...but then again that might be a reason why I am single...and would stay single if I was to go out with that girl

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PantsAndSandals

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:09 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:58 AM, DestroyerOfMan wrote:

OH SWEET JESUS I'M GONNA THROW UP.

Ug-ly.

man I agree with you a hundred percent

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2good2b4goten

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:13 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:58 AM, DestroyerOfMan wrote:
At 7/7/06 03:57 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:
7/10.
OH SWEET JESUS I'M GONNA THROW UP.

Ug-ly.

Im sorry your 13 and your profile name is penis, you have no fucking right to look down on someone.

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HeinousDude

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:15 AM

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At 7/7/06 04:13 AM, 2good2b4goten wrote:
At 7/7/06 03:58 AM, DestroyerOfMan wrote:
At 7/7/06 03:57 AM, -Shadow_XII- wrote:
7/10.
OH SWEET JESUS I'M GONNA THROW UP.

Ug-ly.
Im sorry your 13 and your profile name is penis, you have no fucking right to look down on someone.

At least his statement wasn't invalid.


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ElMaster

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:16 AM

ElMaster DARK LEVEL 17

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First of all, call HBO and they'll do a RealSex documentary for you.
Second, this is the best thread I've seen


Angry

snoopdogfan

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:17 AM

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Simple. She has halucinary orgy reaction natious yeller also kown as H.O.R.N.Y.

Yes i made it up.

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Trick

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Posted at: 7/7/06 04:19 AM

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At 7/7/06 03:47 AM, esko_man wrote: its called -- prematur vaginal critical consumption -- and I made that up, but it sounds fiting

lol it does sound fiting

There once was a dude,
That ran in the nude.

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