Forum Topic: Hard Questions

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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:28 PM

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All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

How did a fool and his money GET together?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

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HoboPorn

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:33 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

no


If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

organic materials

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

People do

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

good question

How did a fool and his money GET together?

what?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

duh deer is the new dog they taught it that!

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

because it's the time people come to go on vacation

What's another word for thesaurus?

dictionary?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

in case the doctor himself pokes himself

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

cardboard box

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

because it's a type of food and the FDA makes them do it.

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

when it sounds diffrent

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

black

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

it doesn't?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

yes

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

no

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

because a T.V. set is one thing

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

no

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

no there not gonna make any noise anyway.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

whole bread

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:35 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

Okay.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

No, It become Road Kill.

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Babys Duh!

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

Me!

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

So if will feel good.

How did a fool and his money GET together?

They ran into each other at the store.

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Honk at it.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Thats the terrorist's job.

What's another word for thesaurus?

Dinosaur.

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

So they can't have babies.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

Bubble Wrap.

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

When it expires it will just be cream.

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

They dont make any noise.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Yellow.

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

No.

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

No, they use bears.

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Yes.

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

To make it sound good.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

No they have 4

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

No, just hold you hand out in a gun shape and pull the trigger.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Chicken.

That was fun.


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TheGreatPatten

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:35 PM

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I dont know!! You should ask Jeeves.

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Adam

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:40 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

What?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

You're an idiot.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

You're an idiot,

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

You're an idiot.

How did a fool and his money GET together?

What?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

You're an idiot.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

You're an idiot.

What's another word for thesaurus?

You'reanidiottionary.

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

You're an idiot.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

Trucks.

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

You're an idiot.

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

You don't you just stick your pen0r up them.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Smurfs don't exist.

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

You're an idiot.

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

You're an idiot.

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

You're an idiot.

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

You're an idiot.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

What?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

You're an idiot.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

You're an idiot.

I answered them logically and truthfully.


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silly-rabies

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:41 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

yes

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

baby pee


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

there is god, but the tissue takes it up.


Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

for stupid blind people


How did a fool and his money GET together?

magnets.


How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

they find where they cross a lot.


If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

because its murder,


What's another word for thesaurus?

book.


Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

so you dont get aids.


What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

bubble wrap.


Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

because it can grow mold.


How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

when they sound worse.


When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

red.


Does fuzzy logic tickle?

sure.


Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

no.. they shoot them.


Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

nope.


Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

because theres a set of buttons.


Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

thats 9 lives.. so yeah.


If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

nope.


What was the best thing before sliced bread?

sliced human.


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MaidenHead

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:42 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

No. That's just plain silly.

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Various organic materials.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

The special design of the box aids in that.

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

If you have a blind passenger because and this ATM machine is the only local one, the blind person may not want to share their code with you.

How did a fool and his money GET together?

No.

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Gaps in the hedges or various foragery at the roadside.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

When it's mating season, can you shoot anything that has sex?

What's another word for thesaurus?

There isn't one. Nouns don't have multiple words, mostly adjectives.

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

In case the body becomes infected in the grave. That asides, it's basic human rights. If you were about to be killed, would you want a dirty needle?

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

A wooden crate.

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

Because after that point it develops mould or germs that could be harmful.

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

If you play them, you know if they're out of tune.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

A paler blue in the cheeks.

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

No. It's just an expression.

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

If they're visually impaired, I doubt they'd be using a sled dog. I also doubt they'd survive in the arctic.

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

No, all the disabled athletes are already there.

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Because the word "set" has various meanings.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Shut up.

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

You shouldn't shoot a mime full stop.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Standard bread.


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Utsumi

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:44 PM

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I'll take some:

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If the Cat survives then it will naturally walk(run) away. cleaning itself up.

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
with my training in dead baby jokes....babys...
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
Jesus, God's right hand man.


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Utsumi

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:46 PM

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Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
Its to save money, if they made ones with no braile then the companys would have to make a new mold for ones with no braile, and that would cost more money.

How did a fool and his money GET together?
a date and a roofie.

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
intense training

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
They give your city money, why would you bite the hand that feeds you?


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EyezOnMe

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:48 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

..... No-one? Okay, I'll say it. Chuck Norris.


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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 7/6/06 07:56 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:35 PM, jam_patten wrote: I dont know!! You should ask Jeeves.

I tried. Also: Why does the sun lighten your skin but darken your skin?

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thatguynamedb0b0

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:07 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

No. It is litter, not kitty litter. Kitty litter is cat crap.

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Corn.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

The other kid answered this one.

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

What?

How did a fool and his money GET together?

He earned it, stole it, whatever.

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

They don't. It's for pedestrians and/or drivers to watch out for deer in that general area.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

It's a time where tourists come, not hunting season.

What's another word for thesaurus?

A book which gives synonyms.

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

So the person doesn't feel a sharp pinch before they die.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

A ship.

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

Sour Cream becomes even more sour. It's dairy.

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

When it goes out of tune.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Purple. We go from blue to purple, and they're one step ahead of us. Plus, where are you gonna find a smurf?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

No, it's words.

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

No. They have seeing eye dogs. Very stereotypical of you.

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

No. Handicapped people don't drive.

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Because it comes with a remote and parts and stuff.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Cats have one life. Where the hell did you get that idea?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

Why? Just because he's silent doesn't mean you have to be.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Bread itself was the biggest thing.

HA. Owned you.

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TourcherScemer

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:12 PM

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wtf? i don't get any of these lol


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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:12 PM

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At 7/6/06 08:12 PM, TourcherScemer wrote: wtf? i don't get any of these lol

They are rhetorical. There point of existence is too make you look stupid.

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EyezOnMe

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:13 PM

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At 7/6/06 08:12 PM, TourcherScemer wrote: wtf? i don't get any of these lol

They're meant to be rhetorical, which means theres not meant to be an answer to them.

Such as: "How many roads must a man walk before he becomes a man."


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LionRampant

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:14 PM

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i think i got a hard on just from reading this! keep'em coming!


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Hudlex

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:22 PM

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I applaud your effort some are okay but other can be answered ex:

Why do they put brail on drive though atms

its one molding it would cost more to make more than one do everybodys happy.

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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:24 PM

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At 7/6/06 08:22 PM, 3BeanBurrito wrote: I applaud your effort some are okay but other can be answered ex:

If you think most of these are answerable.

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SlightlyCrazed

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:42 PM

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All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.
Here goes nothing...

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
Answer may vary. Depends if the cat dies, and where it is thrown out to

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
From whatever the companies decides is best for a baby!

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
The person who took the tissue that pulled the second up

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?
Incase one of the passengers is blind. A car holds more than the driver.

How did a fool and his money GET together?
Fools used to be a word for jestures. So from a comical act?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
They don't. It's a sign used to tell the driver that deers are in that general area.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Season implies a time of the year, not a time of killing. Although it is a term often used for hunters, it can be used for other implications as well.

What's another word for thesaurus?
Book of alternative words?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
So if the people who place the needles into the victem are poked, but not injected, they won't be harmed by the outer bacteria.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Cardboard

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
For mold. Sour cream can go bad, just like yougurt or any other already bacterial food. Sour and Rotten are differant

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? The same way you tune any other musical tool. If you are unsure, compare it to one that is actually tuned

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Purple, I suppose

Does fuzzy logic tickle?
No, it's just unsure logic that needs a bit more fundemental clarification

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Would a blind eskimo be allowed to drive a sled?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
The parking is the same as anywhere else.

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
tele-vision. You get the vision, and the sound I suppose

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
No, they usually die depending on the level of radiation

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Yep. The mime might not be a source of noise, but the gun still is

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
The creation of bread which had yet to be sliced.


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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:45 PM

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More questions!!

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
(see Cheese)

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a race car is not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call the resulting company Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me..... they're cramming for their final exam.

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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jonthomson

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:46 PM

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At 7/6/06 08:45 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: More questions!!

If someone finds the ability to copy and paste stuff, does it make them look clever?

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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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At 7/6/06 08:46 PM, jonthomson wrote:
At 7/6/06 08:45 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: More questions!!
If someone finds the ability to copy and paste stuff, does it make them look clever?

I didn't copy paste it, I typed it.

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blanblan

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:48 PM

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At 7/6/06 08:47 PM, capncrunch537 wrote:
At 7/6/06 08:46 PM, jonthomson wrote:
At 7/6/06 08:45 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: More questions!!
If someone finds the ability to copy and paste stuff, does it make them look clever?
I didn't copy paste it, I typed it.

We don't care. They were a waste of time anyway.


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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:52 PM

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Not really.

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Aztec-Falcon

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Posted at: 7/6/06 08:55 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

Okay


If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

Yes.


If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Babies.


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

Good question.


Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

So the blind can feel it?


How did a fool and his money GET together?

I dunno.


How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Honk the car horn.


If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Good question.


What's another word for thesaurus?

Wikipedia.


Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Good question.


What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

A box.


Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

So it doesn't expire.


How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

I dunno.


When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Green.


Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Yes.


Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Yes.


Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

Good question.


Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

I dunno.


Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Yes.


If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

No.


What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Whole bread.


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JimGod

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Posted at: 7/6/06 09:15 PM

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At 7/6/06 07:28 PM, capncrunch537 wrote: All rhetorical. See if you can answer them all logically.

Almost every one of these isn't rhetorical, they're just stupid pun-like things.

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

No.

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

Olives?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

Me.

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

Many of them get a ride from friends or are just impaired at a close distance.

How did a fool and his money GET together?

Parents.

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

It's placed in a general area.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Haha, very funny.

What's another word for thesaurus?

Alternate vocabulary book/guide.

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

To make it humane.

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

Cardboard boxes.

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

It expires just like everything else.

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

They sound wrong. (This question is just ignorant. How do you know when to tune your guitars?)

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Pale.

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Haha, no.

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

Nope, just seeing eye dogs.

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

No, that's not even funny.

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

The same with a lot of things, you're just stupid.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

What?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

No.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Unsliced bread.

These questions fail, next.

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CapnCrunchDaPimp

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Posted at: 7/6/06 11:06 PM

CapnCrunchDaPimp LIGHT LEVEL 28

Sign-Up: 02/23/06

Posts: 19,842

Nice answers, they are really funny.

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