Retro Shooter with generated content4.09 / 5.00 1,532 Views
Blow the enemy to hell or die a hero! Do you have the Expendaballs for combat, Soldier?3.90 / 5.00 9,643 Views
It's time to escape the city!3.84 / 5.00 2,645 Views
I know, I'm stupid for telling this story on Newgorunds, because I'm aware that many assholes will laugh at me, or just won't believe me. I don't care. I'm not a circus freak. I'm not here to amuse anyone. I'm just telling you this true, and very sad story that happened to me.
One week ago, I have been diagnosed with testicle worms. Medical analysis showed that my testicles have been infested with larvae. The larva is called angiostrongylus cantonensis. It develops under the skin and lays its eggs in the flesh of its host, like most parasites do. But this one can't be treated with medication. It has to be surgically removed.
Three weeks ago, during a trip in Sudan, in Northern Africa, my balls started itching heavily. After a while, they became red from the scratching. But they were still itchy as hell. Three days later, I was back to Canada. My balls were still incredibly itchy, and I couldn't stand the situation. I wasn't prepared for the horror when I looked down at my testicles and saw those worm-like creatures moving under my skin. I was horrified. I almost fainted.
So I went to see the doctor, that was two weeks ago. As time passed, it seemed like there was a lot more worms than before. However, my balls weren't itchy anymore. They were awfully painful and swollen. They had turned into a slightly reddish-purple color. I could clearly see the small, shite worms moving under the skin, but I couldn't feel them. All I felt was an intense, sharp pain. It felt like my balls were being crushed in a vise. I wanted to die, I couldn't stand the pain. It was too awful.
The doctor couldn't believe what he saw. He said that my scrotum was clearly infested with larvae. In order to analyze the worms, he had to practice a small incision on my scrotum, maybe 2 cm-large, so he could grab some live worms and submit them to analysis.
One week ago, the results came in. The larvae infestation is irreversible. In other words, I'm fucked. I will have to be surgically castrated, or the infestation could spread into my vital organs and possibly kill me.
I had to choose: my balls, or my life. I chose to stay alive.
My birthday was on June 25th. Yes, that was only 5 days ago. I was in a hospital bed, and my balls had been freshly removed. Yet it felt strangely good, compared to the pain I had to endure for almost two weeks. What a great birthday gift.
I'm incredibly depressed right now, I think my life is ruined. I'll never be able to enjoy sex again, since castration also takes away sexual desire and sexual pleasure.
But I'm alive. It's the only thing that matters.
At 6/30/06 04:48 PM, tehNGpro wrote: But I'm alive. It's the only thing that matters.
Too bad I can't beat up all the people who are gonna talk shit. Since this is the internet and all. But I feel for you man. Sympathy though I couldn't possibly claim Empathy.
If this is true, you deserve a fucking hug or something. Seriously, to not have balls.... :'(
Can you like get some sperm In a jar, so you can acctully have kids? How did you get worms? If you don't crave sex, I'm sure you wont miss It.
Sorry, I can't think of words good enough to cheer you up, I would feel really bad right now also.
I really hate how the severity of an illness is mitigated when it infects an area that most people would find "funny". There's nothing funny about losing any organ to a disease, but Im sure this topic will get about three pages of "lol, you nutless!". I'm really sorry that something like this had to happen to you, and I hope you have a speedy recovery and you can still enjoy your life despite your handicap.
And if that post was a joke, you WILL be castrated.
I don't know if I could chose between balls and death. I'm really sorry if this is serious, man.
So, when are you going to change your Newgrounds sex field in your profile? They should really include a "castrated" option.
As soon as I read the topic title I fell over laughing. But on a serious note, i feel bad you yah. You should have had some sperm put on ice for you before they were cut off. well, too late for that I guess.
Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating.
At 6/30/06 04:50 PM, Somepurson wrote: Wow, that really sucks.
I agree.No balls,thats gotta suck
why do i not believe you
remember this is thengpro we're talking about here
Wait, I diddn't who posted this thread. Damn It, damn alts! Damn them all!
The NGPro Is going to get his dad.
At 6/30/06 04:58 PM, -Notorious- wrote: Okay... how did you manage to get worms to your testicles?
Skull fucking dead people.