This newspaper article was printed in the April fools edition of my newspaper, it had an interesting article entitled "Junior committed after life mirrors 'The Simpsons'"
This is how it reads:
Bart Schultz (junior - marketing) was committed to the Bellevue House for the Mentally Unstable last weekend after suffering a nervous breakdown. According to his friends, the spikey-haired blonde started freaking out early last week when the events of his life began to mirror plots from 'The Simpsons.'
"At first it was cool and we'd all laugh about it," Milhouse Parker, Schultz's best friend said. "Like on Tuesday when our friend Barney decided to quit drinking. Bart was like, 'Hey it's like when Barney Gumble stopped drinking on The Simpsons and started taking helicopter pilot lessons!' That was innocent enough, but then things started to get weird."
Milhouse continued, "Bart's dad got a hair transplant-I'm talking about Bart Schultz here-and it ends up the hair was from a recently executed felon. We thought maybe this incident wouldn't upset Bart because that was a Halloween episode, but the events started to take their toll on him."
Bart's roommate Waylon Campbell (Junior-accounting) was detained by State College Police on Saturday after being charged with the attempted murder of his business professor, Charles M. Burns.
"That really got to Bart," Milhouse told the Phaily Phollegian. "He had seen that episode and knew that Waylon was innocent, but he was still pretty shaken up when his little sister was arrested for the shooting. I think we all saw it coming though."
"The final straw came for Bart when that one guy started stalking him," said Waylon. "I forget what the guy's name was. Oh yeah. Kelsey Grammer. We were all like, 'Don't have a cow man. Kelsey Grammer is an actor, not an animated character from The Simpsons.' But then Bart got on the Internet Movie Database and found out that Kelsey Grammer voiced Simpsons character Sideshow Bob. Bart pretty much lost it after that."
Bart's friends are hopeful that he will recover from his breakdown soon and be able to return to classes at University Park.
"I just got a letter from Bart yesterday," Milhouse said. "In it, he says his new roommate at the mental hospital is Michael Jackson."