I think I should become a writer.

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

I was going through some of my old stuff and I found a collection of my old English papers and stories. Seriously look at this. It is a passage from a short story I worote in high school.

The story was entitled Cruel winters kiss The charater that I am potarying is a man of deep emotional destress. And cause some concern on the behalf of my teacher.

This is the end of the story it is where it get really really deep.

I sat there in my chair, thinking. Just thinking about what she had said. She said that she did not want to see me ever again. It was a mistake I had told her, a dumb mistake. I should have never went there in the first place. She would not listen to what I said. She slapd me in the face, and yelled, "You are a dirty liar!"

"Am I?" I said looing her stright in the eyes. Not blinking just watching her face when she relised the truth. A truth she could not handel.

"I never want to see you again," she sobbed. "do not try to contact me in any way." Those were her last word before she ran off out of the door.

Why did I not stop her? Why did I let her go? I can not say. For this eludes me evermore. It probally was because of my love for her and as I was told when I was young, "if you love something you must let it go." I loved her dear, Oh how I loved her. Now she is gone, Gone forever into the world beyond. The only way for me to see her again is for me to die. But I... I can not muster my self to do it. How could one so weak love so dear?

Getting up I walk over to the window, and yell out into the hevans. "God, take me away from this place," I cry. "Take me away so I may see my beloved once more."

I wait and yet nothing comes to take my soul to my beloved. I close my window the cold winters air, chilling me down to my bones. I am a man, desprate to once again see my beloved June, to see her simle, to hear her laugh, to feal her soft touch apon my body once more.

Days pass and no sign of anything. I am lonely, I need to be around people. I tell my self, I need to get out of this old empty house. Bundeled up in coat and hat I head out the door into the cold down to the tavren where I may once again be around those who love me.

As I head to the tavren so close yet so far an angel appears to me and says, "God has heard your cries. Do not be afriad I am here to take you to your beloved." I shed a tear of joy then, Sharp pains run through my heart. Is God taking me away to a better place? Am I about to see my beloved once more? That is all I can think of. My last words the people around me shall hear. "June my love, I am comming home." Then nothing and all goes black.

The angels sing out as down from the hevans decends a bright light to take my soul away. The Crule winter kiss has delevred me from Hell. Now i am able to spend eternity with my beloved one more.

[Wonko-the-Sane]

Sorry, I disagree. You can't spell for shit, you have no punctuation beyond periods, and it reads like Goth poetry.

[<deleted>]

Im sorry, but that gets a 1 out of 5

[<deleted>]

I do not know if you should. The writing was okay. You might have some talent later in the future when you start improving your writing skills.

[Desterhof]

Sorry, bud, not the best work I've seen.

[Premo]

Well, it's not very good.
The spelling is attreocious.
It presents no major or new thought that hasn't been done before.
Not enough imagery.
Not enough poetic artistry (eg. metaphor simile.)
Maybe youv'e gotten better since then. Try writing another story and send it in the bbs.

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

At 6/3/06 02:17 AM, Wonko-the-Sane wrote: Sorry, I disagree. You can't spell for shit, you have no punctuation beyond periods, and it reads like Goth poetry.

I disagree with you. I do se commas and "" in ther also along with a few ? and a few !

At 6/3/06 02:17 AM, Heliopios wrote: Im sorry, but that gets a 1 out of 5

that was written my freshman year I wasnt that goo back then.

At 6/3/06 02:18 AM, Sanch wrote: Most of it is not understandable since you don't know how to spell basic words like 'tavern'.

Thus proving my thought that you are a fuckign ass hole

The entire story is like, "I was at the window, my love one she went away I went to the tavern and then home and cruel love's kiss took me away by the wind," it doesn't make sense and the plot itself is stupid and repetitive.

And yet you do not know what this was do you? because you do not understand pure simple emotion.

[Premo]

At 6/3/06 02:22 AM, -Premo- wrote: attreocious.

I'm going to destroy this keyboard, swear to god.

[EnIgMaXXVI]

BLAM THIS CRAP!!!

You need personal opinions anyways. My friends for example say I should be a writer, but I think I suck at it. I just complain alot in a funny way.

[Kuro]

You'll probably have to pass 3rd grade spelling first.

[<deleted>]

How is it possible i wasnt called a dick or retard is it just because im too nice?? :'(

[Nicko9y]

At 6/3/06 02:17 AM, Wonko-the-Sane wrote: Sorry, I disagree. You can't spell for shit, you have no punctuation beyond periods, and it reads like Goth poetry.

he's emo...haven't you ever seen a pic of him?

[tigerkitty]

I can really see that this is freshman level writing... I look back at my freshman year stuff that I once thought was good and realize "oh man... this is rubbish." This might be one of those works. Perhaps the emotion is sound... but the syntax and style leave a little something to be desired. = /

[Supersonic211]

Meh it's ok but I reccomend thinking a bit more, revise and stop the repetitiveness. Good start though.

P.S. You asked for thier opinion, they gave it to you so stop complainin bout' what they say!

[JackPhantasm]

You're an awesome writer, you should write a book and dedicate it to your sister/wife.

[JohnSwartze]

At 6/3/06 02:18 AM, Sanch wrote: ...it doesn't make sense and the plot itself is stupid and repetitive.

You would fail instantly if you tried writing for a career.

Doesn't that actually mean he'll be a great writer?

[NeptuneMan]

You gave this entry a 0!
If this game is blammed you will get a BLAM point!

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

At 6/3/06 02:23 AM, EnIgMaXXVI wrote: BLAM THIS CRAP!!!

You need personal opinions anyways. My friends for example say I should be a writer, but I think I suck at it. I just complain alot in a funny way.

well lets see some of your work then.

At 6/3/06 02:24 AM, -Kuro- wrote: You'll probably have to pass 3rd grade spelling first.

thats funny considering that I am a Sophmore in college.

At 6/3/06 02:26 AM, Nicko9y wrote:

At 6/3/06 02:17 AM, Wonko-the-Sane wrote: Sorry, I disagree. You can't spell for shit, you have no punctuation beyond periods, and it reads like Goth poetry.

he's emo...haven't you ever seen a pic of him?

I know I am ugly but still why do you call me Emo? (made by a user of the now extint Platnium forums)

At 6/3/06 02:28 AM, tigerkitty wrote: I can really see that this is freshman level writing... I look back at my freshman year stuff that I once thought was good and realize "oh man... this is rubbish." This might be one of those works. Perhaps the emotion is sound... but the syntax and style leave a little something to be desired. = /

I kow this is crap but this just brought back some old memories of the time when I thought I was the best damn writer in the world and this had to have been my best peice from Freshman year.

At 6/3/06 02:29 AM, Supersonic211 wrote: Meh it's ok but I reccomend thinking a bit more, revise and stop the repetitiveness. Good start though.

It was written in the fassion of an Edger allen Poe poem to some sort.

At 6/3/06 02:30 AM, JackPhantasm wrote: You're an awesome writer, you should write a book and dedicate it to your sister/wife.

Nice use of Sarcasim there Jack

At 6/3/06 02:32 AM, Sanch wrote:

At 6/3/06 02:22 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote: Thus proving my thought that you are a fuckign ass hole

Oh, I'm sorry that I stated a fact that is painstakingly obvious and is in no way offensive. Look, you even misspelled 'fucking'!

Mear Typo

I see that you get frustrated over the internet easily, as indicated by your outbursts of anger. Stop making a fool out of yourself.

Trust me if thats is what you think anger is you have yet to see me angry.

And yet you do not know what this was do you? because you do not understand pure simple emotion.

Oh, yes. I do not understand emotion - I'm a cold robot. No, I'm simply stating my opinion on your crappy story. Why else would you put up your little story on the boards, dipshit?

Oh snappy comeback, real witty. I bet you think you are a totaly god here don't you.

Listen Sanch this I really don't want to get into another flame war right now so can we just agree to have a little peace for now?

At 6/3/06 02:32 AM, NeptuneMan wrote: You gave this entry a 0!
If this game is blammed you will get a BLAM point!

If you do not like it atleast try to tell me what I can improve on instead of making your self look like a totaly ass.

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

At 6/3/06 02:46 AM, Sanch wrote:

At 6/3/06 02:22 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote:

Trust me if thats is what you think anger is you have yet to see me angry.

Oh? So the, "ur a fuckign bich" remarks are out of love and kindness?

That was from a mere minor annoyance. If I do recall the last time I truely snaped was the Emo inccdent of last year.(resulted in a 30 day ban and a ass load of people blocked on AIM)

[CountingSquares]

eh, everyone has already said what needed to be said. Just doesn't work and sucks.

[Premo]

At 6/3/06 02:53 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote: That was from a mere minor annoyance. If I do recall the last time I truely snaped was the Emo inccdent of last year.(resulted in a 30 day ban and a ass load of people blocked on AIM)

Learn to control your anger.
You only get one chance to make a first impression to people, and noones gonna like you if you get pissed about everything.
(Eg. freaking out over an opinion, after you asked for it.)
You can piss off some of the wrong people that way, and you're definitely not showing a good display of kind human nature, which is a dying fashion in today's society.

And people are gonna get the wrong idea about Americans if you sport this attitude, since its right in your alias.

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

At 6/3/06 02:59 AM, -Premo- wrote:

At 6/3/06 02:53 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote: That was from a mere minor annoyance. If I do recall the last time I truely snaped was the Emo inccdent of last year.(resulted in a 30 day ban and a ass load of people blocked on AIM)

Learn to control your anger.

Trust me if I was Angry you would know.

You only get one chance to make a first impression to people, and noones gonna like you if you get pissed about everything.
(Eg. freaking out over an opinion, after you asked for it.)

This war between mw and Sanch has been going on forever

You can piss off some of the wrong people that way, and you're definitely not showing a good display of kind human nature, which is a dying fashion in today's society.

I dont give a fuck God sent me to piss the world off

And people are gonna get the wrong idea about Americans if you sport this attitude, since its right in your alias.

The internet the one place where anyone can be an asshole all they want.
Honestly do you think that I am actually like this 24/7? This is the E-ma If you where to meet the real me you would nite that I am a completely diffrent person.

[NeptuneMan]

At 6/3/06 02:41 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote: If you do not like it atleast try to tell me what I can improve on instead of making your self look like a totaly ass.

Yeah, I don't want to look like a totaly ass or anything.

So, after googling, I came to the conclusion that by making fun of you without stating the obvious (poor formatting, poor spelling, poor dialog, poor punctuation, poor flow, poor emotion) makes me this guys ass: http://www14.big.or...hi/30-1/totaly-j.jpg

His name? Howard D. Totaly.

BTW: You can only call yourself a sophmore in college if you're attending a 4 year college, those junior colleges don't count.

[Premo]

At 6/3/06 03:03 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote: The internet the one place where anyone can be an asshole all they want.
Honestly do you think that I am actually like this 24/7? This is the E-ma If you where to meet the real me you would nite that I am a completely diffrent person.

I don't see the point of acting angry to piss people off on the internet.
Maybe you should try to be a little bit more friendly here instead of giving off the wrong idea.
I mean, the internet is already a waste of time. At least we shouldn't have to deal with tossing insults around half the time.

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

At 6/3/06 03:08 AM, -Premo- wrote:

I don't see the point of acting angry to piss people off on the internet.
Maybe you should try to be a little bit more friendly here instead of giving off the wrong idea.
I mean, the internet is already a waste of time. At least we shouldn't have to deal with tossing insults around half the time.

Its away to ven anger instead of picking up a gun and walking outside and randomly chooseing people to kill

[NeptuneMan]

So what you're saying is in "reel" life, you're still a crazy, and rude asshole, you just surpress it and save it for the internet?

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

At 6/3/06 03:17 AM, NeptuneMan wrote: So what you're saying is in "reel" life, you're still a crazy, and rude asshole, you just surpress it and save it for the internet?

Molre or less I am a nice guy and pretty chill and fun to hang out with. But no I woulnd not say I am insane in real life. This is just the place where that little physco in all of us gets to come out and play.

[Premo]

At 6/3/06 03:19 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote: Molre or less I am a nice guy and pretty chill and fun to hang out with. But no I woulnd not say I am insane in real life. This is just the place where that little physco in all of us gets to come out and play.

I would think of it as more "The pervert in all of us gets to come out and play".
The internet is a very strange, yet erotic place.

Its a way to vent anger.

If you don't already own one, you should buy a punching bag.
Believe me, it helps alot. You also get a good workout if you do it long enough.
Also, you might consider buying a bamboo sword or something to bash it with.
And you could even print off some pictures of celebrities and what not you hate, and tape them to the punching bag.
Good christian fun.

[weirdoo]

try something like this: In his heart it pounded faster and faster in fear, in his ego it told him to turn back but he refused. He entered the castle of Dracula.

yeah, that's something i wrote loooong time ago. try writing something like that :)

[Sanity-of-Insanity]

At 6/3/06 03:29 AM, -Premo- wrote:

At 6/3/06 03:19 AM, The_American_Zombie wrote: Molre or less I am a nice guy and pretty chill and fun to hang out with. But no I woulnd not say I am insane in real life. This is just the place where that little physco in all of us gets to come out and play.

I would think of it as more "The pervert in all of us gets to come out and play".
The internet is a very strange, yet erotic place.

normally when someone twist my words it I dont like it buth that actuall made me laugh

Its a way to vent anger.

If you don't already own one, you should buy a punching bag.
Believe me, it helps alot. You also get a good workout if you do it long enough.
Also, you might consider buying a bamboo sword or something to bash it with.
And you could even print off some pictures of celebrities and what not you hate, and tape them to the punching bag.
Good christian fun.

I had one but Duct tape cant fix everything Back in middel school I broke my hand on it because I was MAD AS FUCK. but then years and years of abuse finally caused it to give in and die. it never had a chance, Duct tape wouldnt hold it together anymore.