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At 5/8/06 12:32 PM, idOcrEatING wrote:

At 5/8/06 12:10 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: Keep them coming.

Quit bumping, a mod might get annoyed.

Any mod I know has back-seat modding at the top of their hate list actually...

At 5/8/06 12:39 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote:

At 5/8/06 12:32 PM, idOcrEatING wrote:

At 5/8/06 12:10 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: Keep them coming.

Quit bumping, a mod might get annoyed.

Any mod I know has back-seat modding at the top of their hate list actually...

"ooh please mods ban Mick please he's disrupting my BBS experience with his incessant bumping"

"ooh please mods"

"ooh"

You can fucking imagine 'em.

Definitely the kids I hated in school.

*BUMP*

In reference to the above few posts.

Okay then.

(b) Which musical artist (and I use the term loosely) do you detest most? Discuss why.

The Streets

The sound of their music sounds really awful. Many people like them and are very big fans of the "band", im not sure how they could even like horrible music like this. He's been described as many things (the British Eminem, John Cooper Clarke for the E generation, Lennon for the Reebok kids) but listening to Mike Skinner and The Streets music makes you want to kill yourself.

They released their first song a little while back and their album was released about a month later. The build up on shows such as Top of the Pops made me feel like this was going to be a new great band but i was shocked to see such an awful band. Im sure there are many more terrible bands maybe even worse than The Streets but in my opinion i think they are very very bad.

Mike Skinners voice is the problem here i think, even though the bands lyrics are awful i really do think Skinner cant sing. They are ogininal i suppose, because no one is as bad as them. Awful band, awful music.

I'm game for an essay competion. I'll be letting a few ideas baste in my noggin until they form a thick meaty literary stew seasoned with just a hint of cinnamon (that's the secret ingredient). I really wish you would have waited a week or two to make this thread though. School doesn't end for me 'till the 22nd and I have to save my A game the reports that I'm obligated to write. I'm sure I'll be able to compose something worthy of an entry into the second round in my spare time. Although I am upset that it may not be as prodigious as I'll intend it to be.

I am impressed with your board of judges.

At 5/8/06 01:52 PM, -TheDoctor- wrote: I am impressed with your board of judges.

Haha, you weren't on msn at the time for me to ask you - but I thought I'd stick you on the old judge list anyway. Hope you don't mind.

At 5/8/06 01:55 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote:

Haha, you weren't on msn at the time for me to ask you - but I thought I'd stick you on the old judge list anyway. Hope you don't mind.

No problem old boy, it's sure to be a fantabulous experience for all involved.

I might partake. Then again, I might not.

The entirity of my decision will be based upon whether or not I can be bothered writing something aside from 5 creative essays I currently have on the go. I've been completely inundated with the veritable shit-storm flying at me with relation to my college application.

So, seriously. If I can shake the sense of seemingly irrevocable lethargy that's come over me in recent days, I'll grace you with a no doubt celestial piece of artistic wonderment.

ddddd

I'm going to have a go at this. Keep in mind that this essay was completely spontaneous with no pre-planning whatsoever...

Women: The Other Side of the World

To begin this talk about women, let me just say I don't have a lot of friends who are girls. There are a number of reasons for this, but maybe there is something about them...somehing so alien about them with lack of experience with them, it can scare the faint hearted...with plenty of convincing of course.

The first topic is their general intrests...and how unsure I am about them. I usually think that they tend to be intrested in music. The type of music varies, but many of the girls I know at school love rock music. I think. Some of them are in bands and some are particualrly talented at singing. They are always nice to watch at school assemblies with loud music occasionally. But despite the teenage girls I know, I have to extend my picture to other intrests...

Such as gossiping. They tend t be chatting if anything else. And they always seem to have something to talk about, even when I'm out the conversation or have only just grasped the topic they ditched. They seem to have superiority when it comes to chatting about every single topic that comes t my mind. And even then, they seem to have thought up twice as many. Maybe it's because their lives seem so much more interesting.

But it's not just girls we're talking about...it's women! And the first thing that comes to my mind there is my mum. Yes, my mum who's been looking after me for 16 years with minimal help from dad. :D I know she tries her best to look after me, but it seems that wives wear out faster than everybody else. Mainly because they do so much more work than everybody else. You end up realising that they seem to be more and more grumpy as they grow up. And quite rightly so when life just throws them MORE work.

But think back to when thy were younger or are young. They are either very very sexy or just normal. the very very sexy women often seem to have bigger boobs than anybody else, but that's because they can afford excessive make-up and boob jobs. (not blow job.) It is then they become too alien for the simple man to understand (they just want to fuck them really) and the envy of normal women who go on to get married.

So there are many types of women in the world, just like many kinds of men. there are also many types of women I will have missed, Don't be angry ladies, I'm just giving my spontanoeus thoughts. But there are apparently more women in the world then men, so I'm suprised they don't rule the entire world. Who knows? Maybe they can manage without it. Most of them seem organised enough.

Women are half of and essential to everybody's lives, both theoretically and physically. (Sorry.) Men who hate them should rethink their opinions and discover that girls and women are a totally new social group to understand. And those who do like women and aren't married, why so? Now those people in a relationship, go get to know your partner more. Understand each other, and learn that appreciation helps make the world go round.

Wow! I didn't think I'd finish that in 20 minutes!

A bag of chips, a bowl of ice cream, a plate covered with dip, and the TV remote. This is the ideal Saturday night for many people, people who make up what we politely call the ‘slightly overweight’ weight group. These people continue to ruin their bodies by eating junk consistently and they seem to have absolutely zero problem when doing it. When someone makes a comment about their weight, instead of being fired up to make a change, they instead, go home and cry, and eat more food, hoping that a litre of Oreo ice cream will take away the hurt feelings they have.

So it’s a vicious cycle. Person A starts off as a young lady who enjoys snacking on chips, she starts gaining a little bit of weight, and person B decides to make a vicious comment about her love handles, when really, they aren’t even that bad. Yet. So person A runs home and cries until she looks like she got beat up, her mascara streaming everywhere, and goes out and buys six bags of chips, and eats them all, because that taste of yummy Dill Pickle will definitely help her out.

It continues on like that, until the girl is morbidly obese, and can barely move off the couch to get outside and get made fun of. Eventually, in about five years, she dies of heart failure, and a crane is brought to her house to cart her off to the morgue. True story.

Well, ok, maybe not, but my point still stands. Obesity is a serious issue, and once you become obese, it becomes even more difficult to get your ass out there and fix it. People try diet pills, they try the Atkins diet, they even get liposuction. And really, what does it accomplish? Well, in some cases, they lose weight, they get motivated again, and they get down to a decent size. Other people try it, lose weight, can’t lose any more weight after a certain amount, get depressed and kill themselves…or continue to eat like crap, which is basically the equivalence of killing one’s self. It goes either way, really.

Obesity is not just a health problem, it’s also one of many social stigmas. When you are fat, people look at you differently. They get the automatic impression that you’re a free thinker, that you don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks of you, and you definitely don’t give a shit about your body. Well…maybe more of the latter than the former. You aren’t found as attractive by the opposite sex, at least none that are desirable in their own right. Instead, you are forced to take misleading pictures of yourself on the internet, and trick males into meeting you, and then count on the fact that they’ll fuck you anyway, just because all men are pigs who would fuck a girl with no arms if she offered. Eventually, you’ll get knocked up by one of the more careless boys, and since they want to show what a stand up guy they are, to the rest of your internet peers, he’ll have a shotgun wedding, and everyone will live happily ever after. Well, except your boyfriend when you decide to give him the wonderful experience of you being on top. Needless to say, it’s a battle to meet someone who will embrace your massive love handles, which is why most people wait until they are married and use having kids as an excuse to get fat. News flash, there are plenty of parents out there who have kids, and stay sexily normal sized even after having multiple children. It’s a cop out, plain and simple.

My personal opinion of obesity is this. There is a fine line between reasonable fat, and unreasonable fat. If a girl has a bit of extra weight, but you wouldn’t guess it unless you saw her in a bikini, that is fine. If she dresses appropriately to her weight, and doesn’t try to be something she is not, that is also fine. But the worst experience that I’ve had, especially being a lifeguard, is women who believe they are still 18, and wear bikinis that don’t fit them, and walk around like they are actually attracting the male eye. Yeah, sure, they are attracting our eye, but most of us follow the look with the “WTF WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” feeling in their stomach, and that is usually followed by the urge to vomit.

In closing, I’d just like to say the following. If you are fine with being fat, all the power to you. If you aren’t fine with being fat, don’t sit around the house and complain about it online. Go out, and do something about it. It can be done, it should be done, because it will make not only YOU feel better, but also the people around you feel better.

Final word count : 820

You've only got until this friday to cash them in before I have to read all the dribble you lot have to offer.

I was alone in home, eating some Tacos when I found out that I ran out of soda. TV was useless as always and I was looking to Star Trek, episode (#?) Who really knows? I hate Star Trek. I don't like it at all. It has to be one of the worst shows ever made. Then, I fell sleep.

* Beep beep! *

(What's that sound? Am I dreaming?)

Lieutenant George Harts walked down the long corridor at Starfleet Security that led to the high security cells. He had been a security officer working there for many years and was assigned to this section. His normal duties included checking on the prisoners and monitoring the entrances to this restricted zone, but his assignment today was different.

He walked past the main office, where Commander Susan Reading spent most of her time filling out the necessary paperwork and giving out orders to the security officers on her team. Commander Reading was talking to Admiral Frost through a secure Starfleet communications channel.

“We want you to question him about these rebels within Starfleet,” said the admiral, talking about Starfleet Security’s latest inmate. “Names. What their plans are. How many there are. That sort of thing. And also about his involvement with the Dremlons.”

“Of course, sir,” Susan said, sipping her tea. “I’ll see to it personally.” Susan wanted to get out of the office for once.

Lieutenant Harts entered his security code at the next door and walked into the main brig. Inside, there was a guard at the main console, and lights lit up at the edge of the cell where a force-field was, which held the inmate inside. Harts walked up to the other side of the console.

“Hey George,” the guard said. George said nothing in reply, but he brought out his phaser and shot at the guard, stunning him. Julian Grant, the inmate who was once an admiral in Starfleet, jumped to his feet and was shocked by what had occurred. George looked at Julian and smiled. Julian realised that George was an ally, and George confirmed this by lowering the force-field.

“We don’t have much time, admiral,” George said. Mr. Grant was famous amongst the rebels, and was known as an admiral, even now he wasn’t in Starfleet.

“I’m not an admiral anymore,” laughed Grant. “And you won’t be a lieutenant for much longer.” Harts joined in the laughter. He then placed a small transporting device on Grant’s arm, as he did on his own arm. The two of them quickly dematerialised.

Susan Reading walked into the main brig, shocked to find the inmate gone and the guard unconscious. She tapped on her comm. badge.

“Security team report to the main brig immediately!”

The seven senior officers from the U.S.S. Falcon sat around a large curved table, which ran the length of the outside wall of the great hall they were in. The hall was decorated in traditional Romulan décor and the room was lit with large candles. Romulan servants poured Romulan ale into their goblets as General Malako rose stood up at the head of the table. He rose his goblet.

“Today marks the fifth anniversary of the Romulan Star Empire’s entry into the United Federation of Planets,” started the general with great pride. He was not as emotional as a Human or Klingon, as he didn’t have a huge smile on his face, but for a Romulan he looked very happy. “For years,” he continued, “Starfleet and the Romulan Star Empire were enemies. But after working together during the Dominion War, over forty-five years ago, we became great allies and we were all proud to become great friends. I speak for all of my people when I say thank you to Captain Fonder and his crew for being here on this special occasion, and we thank Starfleet for our alliance. May we be friends forever more.” The General downed his ale and sat down gracefully at the table. There were smiles all round.

“Don’t drink too much, Ensign,” said Captain Martin Fonder, half-shouting so that Ensign Peelo could hear him six seats down the table. The ensign laughed. Martin looked at Lt. Commander Javuk, who sat motionless, staring into the centre of the hall. “Something wrong with your Romulan ale, Mr. Javuk?” Javuk turned his head to face the captain.

“Vulcans prefer not to indulge in alcoholic beverages,” said the sensible Vulcan. “We feel that it is illogical to drink something which does not contribute to a balanced diet. To drink simply to intoxicate oneself is highly illogical-”

“And fun!” piped up Commander Louise Tam. She and the captain both laughed.

Lieutenant James Gallant joined in with the laughter. “Suit yourself, Lieutenant Commander, but I’m enjoying this Romulan ale.”

Ensign Peelo put down her drink for good. She coughed as the alcoholic taste remained in her throat. Lieutenant Coll Menna laughed.

“I’m not having another sip!” exclaimed the young ensign. Coll continued to drink.

“Can’t take your drink, hey Peelo?” Coll teased. Peelo shot him a terrible look, and then smiled. She knew when to laughed at herself. “You certainly have changed since you came aboard the ship all that time ago. When you first arrived you were this quiet little thing that hardly ever spoke!” Coll suddenly realised the look that Peelo now gave him, and also realised what he had been saying. He had been remembering Hanrid Menna’s memories of Peelo, and now felt embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to make a distinction between his and Hanrid’s memories. “I’m sorry,” he said, placing his goblet on the table. Hanrid’s death had been hard for everyone on the ship and it was still tough to be reminded of it.

“It’s ok,” said Peelo, putting a comforting hand on Coll’s arm. “I know it can be hard for you to work out whose memories belong to whom - especially after nineteen hosts!” They spoke nothing more of it, but instead smiled at each other. They felt a strong connection. They were already good friends despite Coll’s short time on the Falcon.

Over an hour later, after a big meal and a few more goblets of Romulan ale, the senior officers emerged from the great hall. They walked along the long path in front of the hall, which led to a transporter pad. When they arrived at the pad, they all got on it and all turned to face in the direction of the great hall.

“Seven to beam to the Falcon,” said the captain to a Romulan transport officer. The Romulan nodded in acknowledgement and tapped his console. Fonder looked at the great hall. It was a large and beautifully built building with a dome at the top.

* The sound of the phone wakes me up *

Julian Grant looked around at the familiar design of the Starfleet vessel he found himself on.

“Welcome to the Resistance,” said George Harts as he led Grant down the corridor. Everyone they passed were in civilian clothing, like Grant, apart from Harts who still wore a Starfleet uniform, having just come from his posting at Starfleet security.

Grant noticed the deliberate name of the ship. “And what was it before the name-change?”

“The U.S.S. India. Starfleet believes it went missing over three months ago but its crew offered their ship to the E.R.M.” Harts spoke of the Earth Resistance Movement. “Some of the India’s crew weren’t on our side - but they were left on an M-Class planet with supplies. We aren’t murderers of our own kind, Admiral.”

“Call me Grant.” Grant grabbed Harts and spun him round. “And if it means the difference between us and them, then we are murderers of our own kind - got it?” The admiral didn’t want or need allies who weren’t prepared to do all that was necessary to succeed.

“Yes, sir,” Harts replied. He felt that the seniority of Grant deserved some acknowledgement with the use of ‘sir’.

Grant and Harts soon arrived on the bridge. Their arrival was immediately noticed by the ‘captain’.

“Julian!” cried Alice Kollum, the commanding officer of the Resistance. She shook Grant’s hand.

“Nice to see you again, Alice,” Grant said, “and it’s nice of you to offer your fine vessel for the cause.”

“Happy to! With your permission, we’re setting course to meet the Dremlons at Station Delta Three Two in order to discuss our next plans.”

“Get underway.”

*

“I’ve spoken with the Romulans,” started Fonder as he walked around the briefing room, addressing his senior officers, “Their sensor logs show that the Dremlons were responsible for the attack on the great hall.”

“Why would they do that?” asked James.

“It is logical to assume that, like the other attacks the Dremlons have made, they wish to cause harm to Federation members,” said Javuk is his usual Vulcan tone. “One may also assume that as the attack was made on the great hall, the Dremlons knew of our presence there and were trying to eliminate us.” Peelo let out a small sigh of shock. “It is therefore logical to assume that Admiral Grant’s resistance movement is still working with the Dremlons, and it is they who truly want our crew dead for imprisoning Grant.”

“Indeed,” concurred the doctor. She had already picked up on what Javuk was thinking so had pre-planned her word of acknowledgement.

“Grant escaped from Starfleet Security earlier today with the help of one of the guards,” informed the captain. He had recently received this news from Starfleet.

“Then I’m sure he’ll try another stunt like this and make sure he gets us next time,” added Coll.

“Not us. Me,” said the captain. Fonder knew that Grant was after him, rather than the rest of the crew. The senior officers realised this also, so they said nothing to reinforce this terrible fact. There was nothing else to say. “Dismissed.”

The senior officers started to file out of the room. James stayed in the room and waited until the doors had closed. He turned to the captain, who remained with him in the briefing room.

“I have some news to report, Skip,” James started.

“Go ahead, Lieutenant.”

“While doing a routine check of the communication systems I noticed a strange encrypted communication that occurred recently,” said the lieutenant. The captain looked puzzled. “I’ve managed to decrypt some information about the communiqué, but not all of it. All I know is that the communication was sent from somewhere on deck seven and it was sent to the U.S.S. India.”

“The India?” the captain was still bemused. “That ship was reported lost months ago. And why didn‘t the ship’s sensors inform us of the India’s presence?”

“I checked sensors and they did record the India, but no-one was checking them at the time of the reading,” explained James. He continued, “If Javuk was in here right now he’d be telling us that it’s logical to assume that someone onboard knows of the India’s whereabouts. Also, that as the communiqué was encrypted, the sender didn’t want us to know about it and that something ‘fishy’ is going on.”

“I’m sure Mr. Javuk wouldn’t use the word ‘fishy’,” noted the captain. James let the joke pass.

“This all suggests that Grant’s resistance movement is operating from the India, and is remaining ‘in the shadows’. The India, having been declared lost, is an ideal place for Grant’s people to remain hidden. Also, this suggests that we have a traitor onboard, whose quarters are on deck seven-”

“Along with half of the crew, Lieutenant. Decks seven and eight are crew quarters. Your quarters are on deck seven!”

“I assure you that if I was the traitor, I wouldn’t have told you of my findings,” James laughed.

“Okay, James,” said the captain, “try and find which quarters the message was sent from. Don’t involve anyone else on this; we don’t want the traitor knowing that we’re on to them. I’ll look through the personnel files and search for any of the crew that lost family and friends during the Renni Moon incident; that seems to be a common factor in members of Grant’s resistance movement.”

“I’ll get right on it, Marty,” James said casually.

Ensign Timothy Jennings walked over to one of the stations in Engineering and started to press some buttons. He collected some information onto a padd, and then left the console, padd in hand, and walked towards Chief Engineer Javuk.

Woah, Ozcar if you're thinking of entering the compitition with that, you're way off whith what an Essay is. But if this is for shit's and giggles, more power to you, it's an entertaining read.

come on you fuckers, essays are easy as shit.

At 5/8/06 01:13 PM, -Moco- wrote:
The Streets

No offence, but that one sucked. Where's the reasons?

At 5/4/06 05:36 PM, ChuckieFinster wrote: Man, you totally just wasted 15 minutes typing that.

You really think any of the lazy-asses on this board are going to want to write an essay?

LOL.

you, sir, have been proven wrong by all people above.
allow i say: "HAHA, stupid bitch!"

eherm.i might be joining this too.

At 5/8/06 12:10 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: Keep them coming.

I can't wait for the day you say you printed them all off and gave it to your teacher for an A+ :D

Confomity of the Interneters, aka Lemmings

It is a rare occurance in nature to find a creature so willing to jump off a cliff and hurtle to its doom below. Even more unlikely that they aren't depressed while doing so, but those are lemmings for you. One goes and the rest follows. You might, in fact you almost undeniably must, associate lemmings with your common internet gatherers. If one started wanking off with a moldy piece of cheese to some horrible tune and a picture of midgets and a nurse, the rest would follow so long as pictures were provided. Obviously we need a bit of change.

First we will examine many of the internet fads, that one piece of hell satan has sent into our world. While at first a fad is funny, we quickly find that if feels as if a hoard of grizzly hairy men who havn't bothered to bath are jumping up and down on our balls. Take the O RLY? fad. Started on one forum, and mildly funny, the small joke created a photoshop thread. We all laughed a little, watching it like we would a nice fire on cold night. The god dumped gasoline on the fire for a little laugh. The next thing we knew we had a topic well over fifty pages here on newgrounds, and an O RLY? owl had to be posted as much as bedn in every single available topic.

Shortly after the O RLY finally simmered down, a great hulk of a man fell out of the sky and unfortunatly made indiana jones cry. Quite honestly, this I had heard about in the real world before seeing it on the net. I heard a couple of them and laughed, visited the site that contained them and grew a little scared at the impending doom. Sure enough, within weeks all that people could talk about was how Chuck Norris had a bigger penis than them and how much they admired him for it. This man was so admirable to gullible fanboys of our world, that it spread entirely quickly into the real world creating an apocalypse in which Norris was actually able to get press coverage. Needless to say, the jokes were pounded into the ground untill they lost all funny.

A final fad I would like to look at is the god forsaken bedn fad. Luckily this one plagues newgrounds soley, but it still is a nuicence. A one time visitor to Wade Fulp's photography store, this boy became an instant idol to thirteen year olds for having the ability to walk, stand in one spot with is thumbs pointed in the upward direction, and have a little flash go off. Now for god knows what reason, it is compulsory for every topic that has any picture in it, for any reason to suddenly have bedn show up. Once again all funny having been stamped out of it in a 100 page long photoshop topic.

What then is our solution to the impending lack of funny that springs up every other month. Perhaps kids should have implants that can be zapped whenever they say or type something stupid or overdone. Betteryet, fads should come with computer viruses, this way the only way you'd be willing to get them is if they were worth $2000 of funniness. But perhaps the best solution, and the most impracticle, is to teach kids how to be creative and think for themselves.

not too good, but bleh...

Resentment of People who are different in General

What is the people's general perception of people who are gay, fat, of another color or race, of different taste (in music, movies, hobbies, etc), or of low mental capacity? it is that these people are different and therefore are shunned from society. there are those who openly shun them and shout it out to the world that they do, nothing short of mockery or ridicule. there are also those who, though they hide it and do not say it out loud, are ashamed to be in contact or in the presence of one.
do they deserve this kind of treatment? no, certainly not, those feelings of resentment are best reserved for the evil doers, the snatchers, kidnappers, the corrupt, the murderers, criminals, to be exact.
fat people being an exception, these people did not choose to be what they are. black people did not choose to be black. gay people are just being who they are, and surely you musn't be blamed or hated for liking or disliking a certain genre of music. and as for horizontally challenged people, we should instead try to help them, since the problem may lie deeper than just ravenous hunger. deppression and self-esteem come into play.
one thing that people forget is that we are all humans, all equal. should we detest all those who are different, or in politically correct terms, devious?
difference in religion also does not deserve hate. regardless of our beliefs, we are all humans. and as long as that belief does not cause or create hurt among anyone, then it should be considered ok.
this is what we must always keep in mind: to treat each other equally; the rich, the poor, the emos, the thin, the fat, the females, the gay, the blacks, and yes, even the whites. as long as a person does not hurt anyone, he/she should not be rejected.

sucks, i know.

At 5/10/06 08:15 AM, HL_Zombie wrote:

At 5/8/06 12:10 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: Keep them coming.

I can't wait for the day you say you printed them all off and gave it to your teacher for an A+ :D

I would if I was still in High School, haha.

At 5/10/06 06:10 AM, JohnnyWang wrote:

At 5/8/06 01:13 PM, -Moco- wrote:
The Streets

No offence, but that one sucked. Where's the reasons?

I must agree, the essay was to damn short, and provided little or no evidence on why the band sucks. Look back at my post on page 3. It's seriousley the proper way to do an Essay.

Last day mofos.

Is it time for me to read them then?

At 5/11/06 01:12 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: Last day mofos.

It is, depends on what time you're ending it it on. Grenich Meridian Time, or Newgrounds time (eastren Standerd time.)

I believed it turned out for me that school would take too much time from me. I doubt I'll be arsed to enter this competition tomorrow/today.

Last chance for your entries folks, I'm cereal - I'll stop collecting entries some time tommorow...well - tommorow for yanks. And such. I'm tired, I'll go to sleep and all.

Motherfucker. I wish I knew about this earlier.

I can't write something contest-worty by tomorrow.

It's ended you fucks. Now for me to read all this crap and rate.

Blah, I'll read up and post my scores after I watch Green Wing.