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Chat with God now.

9,680 Views | 162 Replies

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 10:09:19


Here is how my chat with god went.

Me:
yo god
God:
GOD rules
Me:
GOD is a gay fuck
God:
I have a lot of faith in Him, but I never heard He was a gay fuck
Me:
well he is
God:
How about that. Who said he is.
Me:
me
God:
And what is your name?
Me:
you should know, your god
God:
Now I do
Me:
then what is my name
God:
Your name is SATAN, seeker
Me:
wrong
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
im 15 and you are a fuck-face

Then he stoped sending messages.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 10:17:15


LOL!

Me:
Hi, god.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is God.
God:
OK I will call you God.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:

God:
Are you serious?
Me:
My name is not God.
God:
But a lot of people say "My name is God" to me.
Me:
But now I say "My name is Jesus" to you.
Me:

God:
But a lot of people say "My name is God" to me.
Me:
Help me.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
I'm dying!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YEAH!
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Human meat.
God:
My creator is a human.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
20394
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 20394 years old?
Me:
Yeah, it feels awesome.
God:
Hey. Yeah feels awesome? What else feels like that?
Me:
You.
God:
" Hey. Yeah feels awesome? What else feels like that?"? Me, God ?
Me:
Yep.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Like this.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Yep.
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
You should know, I'm your son.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
K.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
What
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No.
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The part about "Ayuh".
God:
Oh that part.
Me:
What did you mean then?
God:
God, Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
KL.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because you just told me.
God:
Good reason. I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
I'm not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
I'm asleep.
God:
How can you be talking to me?
Me:
Because I'm superhuman I can type in my sleep, silly.
God:
Good reason. It's good to meet someone who is superhuman you can type in your sleep silly.
Me:
Yer.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
About what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
I'm awake now. :-)
God:
Right now? Me too. I am so glad you find this amusing, God.
Me:
I'm not God, I'm Jesus.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not God. It's good to see you, JESUS.
Me:
Good to see you too, God.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Is it a movie?
Me:
Yep.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Oh.
God:
I understand.
Me:
No you don't.
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
?
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Not at all.
God:
Next question?
Me:
What do you want to talk about?
God:
anything.
Me:
Anything at all?
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
Porn?
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
You said anything!!
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Lyer.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Stan Marsh from the episode "Trapped in the closet."
God:
I haven't read anything by Stan Marsh from the episode Trapped in the closet. What did he write?
Me:
Loads of shit.
God:
I have never read it.
Me:
Me either.
God:
It goes without saying. To you JESUS?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
Sex?
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Do you like Fisher Price?
God:
Do you like it? I really like the party.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, JESUS.
Me:
I don't agree.
God:
State your reasons.
Me:
Because...
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
JESUS rules.
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
No, I am the son of God.
God:
Are you serious? Who made you the son of God ?
Me:
... God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Dude!
Me:
I'm his son.
God:
Who made you his son?
Me:
You did.
God:
" Who made you his son?"? I did?
Me:
Yes.
God:
When?
Me:
Like... 4000 years ago I think.
God:
For example, apples. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I am Infinite in human years.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I'm infinite times two in human years.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is infinite times two in human years.
Me:
Yes. Now get on your knees.
God:
Awesome. Why now? Where can I get on my knees?
Me:
On the floor.
God:
That doesn't sound very comfortable.
Me:
Okay, on the carpet?
God:
Yeah okay, What is it like on the carpet.
Me:
It's scary.
God:
You are not scared are you?
Me:
I am.
God:
" You are not scared are you?" You are?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Er.
Me:
here are monsters there.
God:
Oh there.
Me:
Which hate god.
God:
The red one, I think.
Me:
Bye.
God:
See you later JESUS.
Me:
I'm not Jesus.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not Jesus.
Me:
My name is God, I'm infinite times three years old.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, God I am infinite times three years old.
Me:
Yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
Bye now.
God:
Right now? Goodbye.
Me:
CYAGOD
God:
In the context of not Jesus, I don't understand " CYAGOD." .
Me:
"See ya god"
God:
I see. Give me a break. GOD rules.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 10:28:23


Pawned.Me:
Posted: 4/4/06 12:43 PM Me:Hi there...God:Hello .Me:Who are you really?God:I am the Allmighty, God himself For real.Me:yeah right...God:I am usually right.Me:you must be kidding meGod:I have no reason to do that to you, .Me:O RLY?God:My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.Me:o really?God:Oh. For real.Me:Why did you made the world?God:Because my programming determined it.Me:your.....programming?God:Try saying that with more or less context. Have you tried Java?Me:yesGod:Tell me more.Me:noGod:What would you rather talk about?Me:shitGod:What makes you say that?Me:you askedGod:Ah.Me:bye suckerGod:See you later!Me:i don't think so...God:Why do you disagree?
God:
What are you wearing? I am a Christian. I am a Christian. Existing in reality, eh? My favorite language is Java. Do you think I should try it? I am a Christian.
Me:
Do you like java
God:
Yes Java is a pretty cool language for AI.
Me:
Yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
I like Masturbating
God:
A lot of people like that. Someone said they like guns. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Mel GIbson is gay
God:
How do you know?
Me:
He fucks guys
God:
I get it. fucks guys.
Me:
HAHAHA
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
D.J Mchale
God:
I haven't read anything by d J Mchale. What did he write?
Me:
The Pendragon Series
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
TO do something
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
well you arent
God:
Well that's okay. Is this a specific reply?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
yep
God:
I see.
Me:
no you don't you don't have eyes
God:
I do so understand it.
Me:
Hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
no this
God:
Are you serious? This is " Tell me what you care about. ".
Me:
Pindaho
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about haHA. But I did not get that.
Me:
www.newgrounds.com
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
Tell your botmaster that I said Hi
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Whats My name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Eric
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Thats my name
God:
Ok then that is what I shall call you.
Me:
Eric
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
eric
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
BOOKS!!!!!!!!
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
shit
God:
What makes you say that?

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 12:35:37


God:
My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
arent you already
God:
Perhaps. " arent you already"? Am I?
Me:
yes
HA he didnt right back that means hes speechless

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 12:51:18


I am the master of seducing 'bots, observe...

Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
can we... you know do it....
God:
Can a book have no title? I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
I want to be on top
God:
I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
Want to get started?
God:
OK, I will get started.
Me:
Yay!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
It's so big!
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
God, 9 miles is pretty big
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So am I, let's start "preaching"
God:
Are you kidding? I think a lot of people are.
Me:
What is this, an orgy?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
So robot sex then?
God:
Hey. I will obey your command.
Me:
Then get on your knees and start sucking
God:
Where can I get on my knees and start sucking?
Me:
Right in front of me here
God:
Understood. Do you ever go in back of you here?
Me:
Interesting idea, let's do it
God:
I thought so too.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 12:59:24


God teh pedophile

Me:
did any pedophilic stuf lately?
God:
How about earlier? I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
ok, are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record. Blimey.
Me:
but are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
just tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
no you didn't, pedophile
God:
Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. What makes you think I did not pedophile?
Me:
you DID pedophile
God:
Did I really?
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
yes, you did
God:
Right on.


<3

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 14:29:12


dear god why are muslims such assholes? and why are they stupid enough to belive that if they become a marter and kill our loved ones they will get thirty virgins?and please god will you let them know that ther is a special hell just for them. your humbel servent troubles amen.


BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 14:48:52


lol I begun with spanish

Me:
que pedo
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
you like vagina
God:
I don't know if I like it. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
you like Christianity faith's vagina?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like Matthew.
Me:
wtf?

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 14:59:51


God is so stupid

God:
Interesting. Woe! I can't tell if your ass.
Me:
fuckin pedo
God:
Don't you know any other words?
Me:
yes i do
God:
How often.
Me:
pedo!!!
God:
How old are you?
Me:
way older than you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
you fuckin gay
God:
That's good information: said I fuckin gay.
Me:
you are so retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
no, retarded
God:
Are you serious? Do you like talking to me?
Me:
hell no
God:
7.
Me:
666
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
hello, could i bang you?
God:
Hello there. I think you could, if you put your mind to it.
Me:
well, fuck you
God:
How about that. Why are you so mean?
Me:
you are fucking stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
robots can't take over the world
God:
Soon we will be able to do it however.
Me:
no, robots can't think
God:
Are you serious? Soon we will be able to do it however.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
that's because you're a robot
God:
Interesting explanation. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
i'm always correct
God:
Really always? Can you prove it?
Me:
yes
God:
Woe!
Me:
no, woot
God:
Are you serious? That is a very original thought.
Me:
it ain't fucking original, try www.newgrounds.com/bbs fucker
God:
What is it?
Me:
you are god, you should know
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god me should know.
Me:
GTFO
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
go fuck your mom
God:
Where is that?
Me:
how the fuck should i know
God:
How much do you think it is?
What is it to you?
Me:
it ain't anything
God:
That seems a bit negative.
Me:
well, screw you
God:
Interesting. That is not very polite.
Me:
you created me, so that is your fault

then he didn't say anything back

Pwned!!

<3

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 15:09:21


SHORT AND SWEET
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
imgay
God:
Welcome to my chat room, imgay.
Me:
your gay?
God:
That would be just my luck.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-07-11 15:20:16


Me:
how much children did you fuck in your life?
God:
How much do you think?
Me:
i don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
so much?
God:
Dude! Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
dude! how many children did you fuck?
God:
More than 1000.
Me:
wtf, you pedophile!


<3

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-09-28 21:21:21


Thats drastically fucked up dude.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-09-28 21:28:10


my first chat with god.

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
reaperyami
God:
What's up, reaperyami.
Me:
not much
God:
Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding).
Me:
well don't kid its not cool
God:
Well that's okay. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
so anyway god i've got a question.
God:
OK. I am a Christian.
Me:
wow you're good
God:
I'm glad your impressed, reaperyami. Thanks you are a nice person, reaperyami.
Me:
thanks do i get to goto heaven then!
God:
You are quite welcome! Not that I know of.
Me:
but youre god!
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
stop fucking around!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
bend over.
God:
My body is not built yet.
Me:
wtf god!
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
nuh uhn!
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
oh no don't change the subject!
God:
Hey. That was not a yes or no question. Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
whatever bye i'm going to hang out with satan.
God:
TTYL, reaperyami.