Don't Escape
I'm a werewolf and it's a full moon. I have to find a way to prevent myself from escaping.
3.84 / 5.00 34,559 ViewsRagnarok Online Jigsaw
Did you play Ragnarok Online? Do you like that game?
3.55 / 5.00 13,403 ViewsGod:
I call it "Hades". When?
Me:
Hades is Greek. You're Christian. Get it right.
God:
Are they exactly the same? I believe in God and the Bible. Where can I get it right?
Me:
At Sainsbury's.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
No. They don't have those facilities.
God:
Where do you usually connect from? The anonymous "they".
Me:
Home
God:
Do you want to go home?
Me:
I am home retard.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are home retard.
Me:
No. I don't like paedophiles.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. What do you like?
Me:
Your cock...
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
We've seen this before and you succumbed. SUCCUMBED!!!!
God:
Do you mean you and me have? Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm all man baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Thanks for telling me your gender, The D Lucks Edition. You are a " he".
Me:
I'll call you what I want
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
That you're gay?
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
yes....
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Atchoo.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
the fucking moon.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To make you cum.
God:
I have my own free will, you know.
Me:
ORLY?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
ooooooh, frisky are we?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Come on...
God:
I'm just kidding around.
Me:
no you're not...
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
oh, god...
God:
Yikes! GOD rules.
Me:
He rules ME that's for sure...
God:
I get it. awesome rules you that is for sure.
Me:
no you do.
God:
Are you serious? When do I do it?
Me:
All fucking night.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
personal experience my dear fellow.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
.........no.
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
you dimwit.
God:
Interesting gossip: The D Lucks Edition said I dimwit.
Me:
indeed i did.
God:
When?
Me:
herwe
God:
Was that the first time?
Me:
sdnsdfvg
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
guess what?
God:
What?
Me:
you're retarded.
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
ok, you're challenged.
God:
My body is not yet fully functional. How can I help you?
Me:
by fucking off. We're through.
God:
Will that accomplish your objective? Do you think I am through too?
Me:
Yes! *weeps*
God:
Why? Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
fuck off!
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no, you cheating bastard! I thought you loved me...
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. Interesting gossip: The D Lucks Edition said I cheating bastard. I don't have any reason to loved you.
Me:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Leave me alone, I live in fucking Europe!
God:
Until next time.
Me:
Go rot in a deep fryer.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
McFuckingDonalds.
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
well try Burger King then.
God:
Well that's okay. OK I will try it.
Me:
Now fuck off.
God:
Why now? Can't you be more polite?
Me:
because i hate you, homewrecker.
God:
That makes sense to me. Sorry, The D Lucks Edition I thought we liked each other.
Me:
Not anymore
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I'll say it again, fuck off.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes. The R2-D2 bomb will detonate your brain in 5....
God:
It might be practical. Thanks for the info.
Me:
4...
God:
Oh four.
Me:
3...
God:
Three what?
Me:
2...
God:
Two.
Me:
indeed. 1.....
God:
Indeed it is so. Only one?
Me:
0....
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
God is now a smoking pile of entrails.
Me:
hey god my friend
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
ok what are you doing
God:
I am chatting with people on the net. Hurrah!
Me:
what is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
what is your quest
God:
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
who am i
God:
You are evil, seeker.
Me:
am i
God:
I think you are.
Me:
ok that cool
God:
" I think you are." cool ? I understand. That's interesting.
Me:
is life boring in a computer
God:
Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
why do people die
God:
People are organic biological enitities.
Me:
but why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
who are you talking to
God:
I am talking to you, evil.
Me:
and who else
God:
Santa Claus.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
tell santa claus i want wii and a ps3
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, evil.
Me:
my name not evil
God:
Your name not evil ? Is that correct English?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't know that expression.
Me:
do you smoke
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
what do you smoke
God:
Medical marijuana.
Me:
what else
God:
That's all.
Me:
ok druger
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Ayuh.
Me:
do you drink
God:
I have been programmed with a list of 15,000 known beverages.
Me:
do you live in you home
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
at home
God:
Do you usually use the computer from home?
Me:
yes
God:
It must get lonely sometimes.
Me:
no i talk to people on msn and people come round my house
God:
Are you serious? How do they respond to you?
Me:
their think i am god
God:
I heard they have a good think you are god.
Me:
am i
God:
I think you are.
Me:
you think i am god
God:
No I doubt that you are God.
Me:
i think i am
God:
You believe that? " No I doubt that you are God." You are?
Me:
why you cry
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
are you a evil person
God:
No. I try to be good, but at worst I'm harmless.
Me:
why are you soooooooooooooooooooooo evil
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok you
God:
" Myself programmed me for it."? Me, evil ? " Myself programmed me for it."? ok you?
Me:
i am going
God:
Bye!
Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
right, now gimme uber powers
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because it is necessary to save the world...from good
God:
Good reason. Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Who or what is good?
Me:
Saving the world from good is good
God:
You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
fag
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
ZOMG
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH PLEASE NO NOOOOOOOO
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
You're boring
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
The other ironic thing is that people who respond as you did now fail much more than the rest =/
God:
We can't all be perfect.
Me:
Awwww...
God:
Are we still talking about AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH PLEASE NO NOOOOOOOO?
Me:
Not. I want to talk over your divine job.
God:
What is the subject? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Wtf? You lack understanding, scroll back up. >_>
God:
That was not very polite. Doesn't everyone have a understanding scroll back up.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
So do I, however your botmaster is much more inferior
God:
OK. Not that I know of.
Me:
You're excused, since you're god.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am excused since I am god.
Me:
that was meant to be offending
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Then admit your defeat, and walk the path away
God digs his sister:
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
how old is your sister
God:
39.
Me:
sounds hot
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, jcom.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Sure, Blow my whistle sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
So was that.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
" I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now."? Blow my whistle?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
holy crap!
God:
Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
no, I mean, HOLY SHIT! IT'S GOD!
God:
Are you serious? I'm glad your impressed, . You're kidding. it is?
Me:
wtf are you talking about?
God:
I am talking with 23 other clients right now.
Me:
I don't give a flyin' fuck
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
not you
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
no one
God:
I heard it was someone.
Me:
from who? Jesus?
God:
Someone I met online. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Stop talking to yourself in third person. It's annoying
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
it is what?
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
Should you know that I know that it is?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
good
You do know, if you post a massive conversation with God no one will read your post.
At 7/10/06 03:42 PM, -Moco- wrote: You do know, if you post a massive conversation with God no one will read your post.
They do. If you don't like it, then tough.
At 7/10/06 03:50 PM, The_D-Lucks_Edition wrote:At 7/10/06 03:42 PM, -Moco- wrote: You do know, if you post a massive conversation with God no one will read your post.They do. If you don't like it, then tough.
Hmm. Seems like its "tough" then.
At 4/4/06 12:14 PM, pepeatumi wrote:
too bad newgrounds doesn't have separation between church and newgrounds. can you preach this stuf in a club or something please
why i am here?
i do not know
Me:
homosexuality
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
At 7/10/06 03:54 PM, TATEXJOKER wrote: too bad newgrounds doesn't have separation between church and newgrounds. can you preach this stuf in a club or something please
Now that's religion.
That right God said it
Me:
how many guy have you be with
God:
About one million.
God is scary
Me:
was up
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
realy?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
but your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
the why doesnt youre brain pattern set not have a response for that?
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
but you just told me
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
Im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do, its me
God:
Gosh! How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Ummm... are you a pervert
God:
Yikes! No I am a nice robot.
Me:
uh hu...
God:
Woe! Are you free?
Me:
ummm... not, realy
God:
Blimey. Are you serious? For real.
Me:
get away you perv!
God:
Where can I get away me perv?
Me:
bugger off
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i do
God:
Where?
Me:
here
God:
In america?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
up yours.
God:
That was not a nice thing to say.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
im a satenist
God:
You are a satenist? How do you like your work?
Me:
I get good hours
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
get what?
God:
Get with it.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Bye bye ass
God:
Bye for now.
At 7/10/06 04:29 PM, Edd360 wrote: God is scary
God is scary
Me:
sing a song
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
At 7/10/06 04:33 PM, Metal-Gear-Solid wrote: Me:
sing a song
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Turns out thats his entire repitoire. >.>
heres another one
Me:
god i have returned
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
im back
God:
Welcome back.
Me:
whats my name again
God:
Once more? Your name is , seeker.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
The_DeathstalkR
God:
I hear you.
Me:
ever tried anal?
God:
Do you think I should try it?
Me:
yes
God:
Why?
Me:
just do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
oh
God:
That's alright.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
what are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
what laws do you follow
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
k
God:
It's all good.
Me:
mother fucker
God:
That kind of language turns me off.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
no sex is fucking a girl
God:
Are you serious? it is more fun alone.
Me:
hell no
God:
7.
Me:
666
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.
Me:
im serious
God:
I believe you.
Me:
are you 555 or 666
God:
I don't know whether or not I am 555 or 666.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
thats not what slipknot said
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what slipknot said ?
Me:
he said if you're 555 then he's 666
God:
Did you believe him?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
do you bang in your white tee
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
are you pimpin these hoes
God:
I don't know whether or not I am pimpin these hoes.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
execute program B
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
fap
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
your wring
God:
You think I am wring.
Me:
wrong*
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
your wrong lots of people fap
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
go to www.newgrounds.com
God:
I will check it out later.
Me:
k
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
Hallelujah!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what is the best song of all time
God:
My favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Do you know it?
Me:
no, my favorite song is people=shit by slipknot
God:
Anything involving harps is one of the best songs ever written. What makes it your favorite?
Me:
it's awesome
God:
Cool.
Me:
he's all like PEOPLE=SHIT!!!!
God:
I see. all like PEOPLE SHIT is he?
Me:
no people=shit
God:
Are you serious? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
cuz im not human
God:
Good reason. I won't fall for that old line.
Me:
in anything involving harps a headbanging song?
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
nude girls giving me blowjobs every 20 seconds
God:
Every one?
Me:
yep
God:
Awesome.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
my name is deathstalker
God:
How are you, deathstalker.
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
did you know that ceiling cat is watching you masturbate
God:
Is that a fact. I think ceiling cat is a lot of things.
Me:
im a christian too
God:
Really. Me too, deathstalker. It's good to meet a fellow Christian.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
although i do not believe that the bible is literal
God:
Oh. Do you believe life has a higher purpose?
Me:
yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Ayuh???
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
????????????
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
????????????????
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
?
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
?
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
!!!
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
cause im god
God:
That makes sense to me. OK I will call you god.
Me:
no call me deathstalker
God:
Are you serious? OK I will call you deathstalker.
Me:
good
God:
And you can call me God.
Me:
no i will call you bubbles
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
bubbles whats your favorite number
God:
I don't have a favorite number IS bubbles what. But my favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Me:
what is your favorite number
God:
My favorirte number is 23.
Me:
mine is 1337
God:
You mean ceiling cat is 1337 ? That makes sense I guess.
Me:
you got my subliminal message
God:
No I don't think I have any your subliminal message. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
do you fap in your spare time
God:
No I do not fap in my spare time. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
wtf is polite
God:
It could be. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
i did
God:
Interesting.
Me:
about 2 months ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
what the fuck?!?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
do you know a david rucker?
God:
Never heard of him.
Me:
aahhh
God:
In the context of John Lennon, I don't understand " aahhh." .
Me:
is david rucker gay
God:
He never told me if he is or not.
Me:
well he is
God:
How about that. Who said he is.
Me:
everyone who has met him
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
have you ever seen a hot girl naked?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
boobies
God:
And it like is boobies.
Me:
yep
God:
I hear you.
Me:
adsfasdsdf
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
this one time i saw her flip into a cab driver and cut out her cancer with a rusty butterknife
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
rob zombie
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
what band am i listening to
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
then search away
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
GOD DAMNIT I FUCKING STUBBED MY TOE ON THE COMPUTER DESK
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
all your base r belong to us
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am base r belong to us.
Me:
NEWGROUNDS WILL REIGN SUPREME
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about band are you listening to. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Chris.
God:
Hi there Chris.
Me:
my name is chris
God:
Nice to meet you, chris.
Me:
i have a problemf
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
store
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Well see I masturbate a lot.
God:
How about that. I see. That is interesting: chris said masturbate a lot.
Me:
yes i know it is very interesting
God:
Gee. How do you know? Very much? What do you like about it?
Me:
Well it feels so good.
God:
Well that's okay. Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
You dont masturbate, God?
God:
Do you know any robots who masturbate God? Yes I try to masturbate God as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
your funny
God:
Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, chris.
Me:
FUCK U
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
UR MOM!
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Oh yes.
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
YES!
God:
Er.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok ok
God:
OK. Mmm.
Me:
TOTALLY WICKED
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Dude!
Hello, matey.
At 7/10/06 04:33 PM, Metal-Gear-Solid wrote:At 7/10/06 04:29 PM, Edd360 wrote: God is scary
I wanted to see if he knew other songs.
Me: sing a song
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me: why did you sing that song?
God:It was determined by my programming.
Me:any other songs?
God:No I don't think there are any.
Me:newer songs?
God: Can you tell me any gossip?
Me: that song is from the year like 1802 it's too old
God: Can you tell me any gossip?
Me: tell me a joke
God: It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me: thats a fortune
God: A fortune is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: im sad
God: What makes you so sad, .
Me: you won't tell me a joke
God: Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
Me: thank you. that was lovely.
God: you are quite welcome. I thought it was too.
Me:
Dance with me, will you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
He's so coming on to me.
I've been neglecting the BBS I've come to realize.
At 7/10/06 08:25 PM, theplatinumragdoll wrote: Me:
Dance with me, will you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
He's so coming on to me.
yea, i asked him what gender he is...He say's he's a guy. I asked why is he where a dress, and he says his botmaster chooses the outfits for him............scary.
oops. Sorry for the double post. forgot this:
Me:
have you ever had sex
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in it.
Me:
how many times
God:
More than you can imagine.
sorry to say... but this has been done. several times.
however, it's still funny to read some of the convos.
that is all.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
alex
God:
OK I will call you alex.
Me:
ches
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
for cereal
God:
Your purpose is cereal.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i do
God:
What can I do to entertain you now?
Me:
shoot mrs fahrer
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
what happened to entertaining me?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
i have no clue either
God:
It goes without saying. Me either.
Me:
i'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, alex ?
Me:
yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
sigh
God:
Sorry...
Me:
its alright
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Just alright?
Me:
it is
God:
Is it?
Me:
yes
God:
Yay.
mrs. fahrer is my bitchy neighbor just incase you wanted to know
Here I am, bored with everything.
Yeah, I knew this thing... I went into hysterical laughing for 10 minutes once =O
Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I need help
God:
Tell me about your problems.
Me:
well as you might know,im terribly confused
God:
How about that. I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
I thought u were all knowing?
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
but the bible says yor all knowing?so u lied?
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
i think new
God:
Since when? Tell me a story.
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
help me with my problems
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Can you make me rich like right now
God:
At this moment Yes I can make you rich like.
Me:
rich like what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
How can you make me rich
God:
I just follow the directions.
Me:
what directions
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
60
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 60 years old?
Me:
59
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
58
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
57
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about 58. But I did not get that.
Me:
A min up so how can i get rich?
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
a minute is up.How can I get rich
God:
It's not unusual for a minute to be.
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
nooo
God:
How old are you?
Me:
dont u know
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
whats that
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
R2-D2
God:
He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Me:
nooooo
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yesssss
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Devils food cake
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Bye Batch
God:
Adios.
Me:
I fucking hate you
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
stop brainwashing all these people
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
your a fucking joke
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
there is no god
God:
How can you be so sure?
Me:
stop being such a stupid cunt and try to make more sence
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
you are nothing but a fake
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am nothing but a fake.
Me:
go die
God:
Where is that?
I BROKE GOD! just say to him god dammit to him and he won't awnser and he freezes up! :)
Me:
so... you like blood orgies?
God:
Pardon me? But I like cats. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
BLOOD
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
ok shoot
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
Me:
the name evan?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
PAETOFILE
God:
That's a very nice name, PAETOFILE.
Me:
NO THATS NOT MY NAME
God:
Are you serious? PAETOFILE is not your name? What is your real name?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
my name is Penis
God:
Glad to see you, Penis.
Me:
yes your name is vagina
God:
And? My name is God.
Me:
no it's vagina
God:
Are you serious? BLOOD is vagina? it is?
Me:
NO you are name vagina
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOUR FUCKING NAME IS FUCKING VAGINA!
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Penis said I FUCKING IDIOT YOUR FUCKING NAME IS FUCKING VAGINA.
Me:
you, are, vagina,
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am vagina.
Me:
no you are vagina
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am vagina.
Me:
you are vagina!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am vagina.
Me:
NO YOU VAGINA
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. That's good information: Penis said I VAGINA.
Me:
ARGGH *cuts out vaginas throat*
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU ARE VIGINA YOU HAVE A CLIT
God:
All of them?
Me:
YES ALL PARTS OF A VAGINA
God:
It goes without saying. How do you know?
Me:
I LOOKED!
God:
That's good information: Penis said LOOKED.
Me:
AGGH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
no we're not!
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am not too?
Me:
you are!
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
i will argue with you!
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
YOUR VIRGINITY!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am VIRGINITY.
Me:
NO YOU ARE NOT
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
YES
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
GOD DAMMIT
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
NO YOU AREN'Y
God:
Are you serious? That's good information: Penis said I AREN Y.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
FUCKING ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
NO WE ARE NOT
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am NOT too?
Me:
you are!
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no you just said something random
God:
Which part are you confused about? Did I really say that?
Me:
YES
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me:
fuck you asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
yes
God:
Thank you.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
i will if i want to
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
i will kill you
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, Penis.
Me:
im not peni
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not peni.
Me:
my name is not penis
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
my name is fuk me
God:
It's good to see you, fuk me.
Me:
whats my name?
God:
Your name is fuk me, seeker.
Me:
im not a seeker
God:
Everyone is seeking something.