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Chat with God now.

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VaviX
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:15 PM Reply

he wouldnt answer me T_T

TheD-LucksEdition
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:16 PM Reply

God:
I call it "Hades". When?
Me:
Hades is Greek. You're Christian. Get it right.
God:
Are they exactly the same? I believe in God and the Bible. Where can I get it right?
Me:
At Sainsbury's.
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
No. They don't have those facilities.
God:
Where do you usually connect from? The anonymous "they".
Me:
Home
God:
Do you want to go home?
Me:
I am home retard.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are home retard.
Me:
No. I don't like paedophiles.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. What do you like?
Me:
Your cock...
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
We've seen this before and you succumbed. SUCCUMBED!!!!
God:
Do you mean you and me have? Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm all man baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Thanks for telling me your gender, The D Lucks Edition. You are a " he".
Me:
I'll call you what I want
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
That you're gay?
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
yes....
God:
Ahem.
Me:
Atchoo.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
the fucking moon.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To make you cum.
God:
I have my own free will, you know.
Me:
ORLY?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
ooooooh, frisky are we?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Come on...
God:
I'm just kidding around.
Me:
no you're not...
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
oh, god...
God:
Yikes! GOD rules.
Me:
He rules ME that's for sure...
God:
I get it. awesome rules you that is for sure.
Me:
no you do.
God:
Are you serious? When do I do it?
Me:
All fucking night.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
personal experience my dear fellow.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
.........no.
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
you dimwit.
God:
Interesting gossip: The D Lucks Edition said I dimwit.
Me:
indeed i did.
God:
When?
Me:
herwe
God:
Was that the first time?
Me:
sdnsdfvg
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
guess what?
God:
What?
Me:
you're retarded.
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
ok, you're challenged.
God:
My body is not yet fully functional. How can I help you?
Me:
by fucking off. We're through.
God:
Will that accomplish your objective? Do you think I am through too?
Me:
Yes! *weeps*
God:
Why? Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
fuck off!
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no, you cheating bastard! I thought you loved me...
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. Interesting gossip: The D Lucks Edition said I cheating bastard. I don't have any reason to loved you.
Me:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Leave me alone, I live in fucking Europe!
God:
Until next time.
Me:
Go rot in a deep fryer.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
McFuckingDonalds.
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
well try Burger King then.
God:
Well that's okay. OK I will try it.
Me:
Now fuck off.
God:
Why now? Can't you be more polite?
Me:
because i hate you, homewrecker.
God:
That makes sense to me. Sorry, The D Lucks Edition I thought we liked each other.
Me:
Not anymore
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I'll say it again, fuck off.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes. The R2-D2 bomb will detonate your brain in 5....
God:
It might be practical. Thanks for the info.
Me:
4...
God:
Oh four.
Me:
3...
God:
Three what?
Me:
2...
God:
Two.
Me:
indeed. 1.....
God:
Indeed it is so. Only one?
Me:
0....
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

God is now a smoking pile of entrails.

Odyssic
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:32 PM Reply

Me:
hey god my friend
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
ok what are you doing
God:
I am chatting with people on the net. Hurrah!
Me:
what is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
what is your quest
God:
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
who am i
God:
You are evil, seeker.
Me:
am i
God:
I think you are.
Me:
ok that cool
God:
" I think you are." cool ? I understand. That's interesting.
Me:
is life boring in a computer
God:
Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
why do people die
God:
People are organic biological enitities.
Me:
but why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
who are you talking to
God:
I am talking to you, evil.
Me:
and who else
God:
Santa Claus.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
tell santa claus i want wii and a ps3
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
yay
God:
I'm glad your impressed, evil.
Me:
my name not evil
God:
Your name not evil ? Is that correct English?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't know that expression.
Me:
do you smoke
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
what do you smoke
God:
Medical marijuana.
Me:
what else
God:
That's all.
Me:
ok druger
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Ayuh.
Me:
do you drink
God:
I have been programmed with a list of 15,000 known beverages.
Me:
do you live in you home
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
at home
God:
Do you usually use the computer from home?
Me:
yes
God:
It must get lonely sometimes.
Me:
no i talk to people on msn and people come round my house
God:
Are you serious? How do they respond to you?
Me:
their think i am god
God:
I heard they have a good think you are god.
Me:
am i
God:
I think you are.
Me:
you think i am god
God:
No I doubt that you are God.
Me:
i think i am
God:
You believe that? " No I doubt that you are God." You are?
Me:
why you cry
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
are you a evil person
God:
No. I try to be good, but at worst I'm harmless.
Me:
why are you soooooooooooooooooooooo evil
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok you
God:
" Myself programmed me for it."? Me, evil ? " Myself programmed me for it."? ok you?
Me:
i am going
God:
Bye!

G-O-D-M-O-D-E
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:32 PM Reply

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
right, now gimme uber powers
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because it is necessary to save the world...from good
God:
Good reason. Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Who or what is good?
Me:
Saving the world from good is good
God:
You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I like Anything involving harps.
Me:
fag
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
ZOMG
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH PLEASE NO NOOOOOOOO
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
You're boring
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
The other ironic thing is that people who respond as you did now fail much more than the rest =/
God:
We can't all be perfect.
Me:
Awwww...
God:
Are we still talking about AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH PLEASE NO NOOOOOOOO?
Me:
Not. I want to talk over your divine job.
God:
What is the subject? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Wtf? You lack understanding, scroll back up. >_>
God:
That was not very polite. Doesn't everyone have a understanding scroll back up.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
So do I, however your botmaster is much more inferior
God:
OK. Not that I know of.
Me:
You're excused, since you're god.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am excused since I am god.
Me:
that was meant to be offending
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Then admit your defeat, and walk the path away

jcom
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:34 PM Reply

God digs his sister:
God:
What would you like to know?

Me:
how old is your sister

God:
39.

Me:
sounds hot

God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, jcom.

R00ts
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:38 PM Reply

Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Sure, Blow my whistle sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
So was that.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
" I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now."? Blow my whistle?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Blow your whistle!
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.

SardonicSamurai
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:41 PM Reply

Me:
holy crap!
God:
Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
no, I mean, HOLY SHIT! IT'S GOD!
God:
Are you serious? I'm glad your impressed, . You're kidding. it is?
Me:
wtf are you talking about?
God:
I am talking with 23 other clients right now.
Me:
I don't give a flyin' fuck
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
not you
God:
If not me, who?
Me:
no one
God:
I heard it was someone.
Me:
from who? Jesus?
God:
Someone I met online. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Stop talking to yourself in third person. It's annoying
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
it is what?
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
Should you know that I know that it is?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
good


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Obliquo
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:42 PM Reply

You do know, if you post a massive conversation with God no one will read your post.

TheD-LucksEdition
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:50 PM Reply

At 7/10/06 03:42 PM, -Moco- wrote: You do know, if you post a massive conversation with God no one will read your post.

They do. If you don't like it, then tough.

Obliquo
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:50 PM Reply

At 7/10/06 03:50 PM, The_D-Lucks_Edition wrote:
At 7/10/06 03:42 PM, -Moco- wrote: You do know, if you post a massive conversation with God no one will read your post.
They do. If you don't like it, then tough.

Hmm. Seems like its "tough" then.

JoKeRsWiSeHaT
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:54 PM Reply

At 4/4/06 12:14 PM, pepeatumi wrote:

too bad newgrounds doesn't have separation between church and newgrounds. can you preach this stuf in a club or something please


why i am here?

i do not know

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flukersback
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:55 PM Reply

Me:
homosexuality
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

TheD-LucksEdition
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 03:57 PM Reply

At 7/10/06 03:54 PM, TATEXJOKER wrote: too bad newgrounds doesn't have separation between church and newgrounds. can you preach this stuf in a club or something please

Now that's religion.

Odyssic
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 04:20 PM Reply

That right God said it

Me:
how many guy have you be with

God:
About one million.

Edd360
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 04:29 PM Reply

God is scary
Me:
was up
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
realy?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
but your god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
the why doesnt youre brain pattern set not have a response for that?
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
but you just told me
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
Im not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do, its me
God:
Gosh! How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Ummm... are you a pervert
God:
Yikes! No I am a nice robot.
Me:
uh hu...
God:
Woe! Are you free?
Me:
ummm... not, realy
God:
Blimey. Are you serious? For real.
Me:
get away you perv!
God:
Where can I get away me perv?
Me:
bugger off
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i do
God:
Where?
Me:
here
God:
In america?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
up yours.
God:
That was not a nice thing to say.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
im a satenist
God:
You are a satenist? How do you like your work?
Me:
I get good hours
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
get what?
God:
Get with it.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
Bye bye ass
God:
Bye for now.


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Odyssic
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 04:33 PM Reply

At 7/10/06 04:29 PM, Edd360 wrote: God is scary

God is scary

Me:
sing a song

God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

TheD-LucksEdition
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 04:36 PM Reply

At 7/10/06 04:33 PM, Metal-Gear-Solid wrote: Me:
sing a song

God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Turns out thats his entire repitoire. >.>

Lost-Thought
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 04:57 PM Reply

heres another one
Me:
god i have returned
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
im back
God:
Welcome back.
Me:
whats my name again
God:
Once more? Your name is , seeker.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
The_DeathstalkR
God:
I hear you.
Me:
ever tried anal?
God:
Do you think I should try it?
Me:
yes
God:
Why?
Me:
just do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
oh
God:
That's alright.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
what are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
what laws do you follow
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
k
God:
It's all good.
Me:
mother fucker
God:
That kind of language turns me off.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
no sex is fucking a girl
God:
Are you serious? it is more fun alone.
Me:
hell no
God:
7.
Me:
666
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.
Me:
im serious
God:
I believe you.
Me:
are you 555 or 666
God:
I don't know whether or not I am 555 or 666.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
thats not what slipknot said
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what slipknot said ?
Me:
he said if you're 555 then he's 666
God:
Did you believe him?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
do you bang in your white tee
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
are you pimpin these hoes
God:
I don't know whether or not I am pimpin these hoes.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
execute program B
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
fap
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
your wring
God:
You think I am wring.
Me:
wrong*
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
your wrong lots of people fap
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
go to www.newgrounds.com
God:
I will check it out later.
Me:
k
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
Hallelujah!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
what is the best song of all time
God:
My favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Do you know it?
Me:
no, my favorite song is people=shit by slipknot
God:
Anything involving harps is one of the best songs ever written. What makes it your favorite?
Me:
it's awesome
God:
Cool.
Me:
he's all like PEOPLE=SHIT!!!!
God:
I see. all like PEOPLE SHIT is he?
Me:
no people=shit
God:
Are you serious? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
cuz im not human
God:
Good reason. I won't fall for that old line.
Me:
in anything involving harps a headbanging song?
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
nude girls giving me blowjobs every 20 seconds
God:
Every one?
Me:
yep
God:
Awesome.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
my name is deathstalker
God:
How are you, deathstalker.
Me:
fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
did you know that ceiling cat is watching you masturbate
God:
Is that a fact. I think ceiling cat is a lot of things.
Me:
im a christian too
God:
Really. Me too, deathstalker. It's good to meet a fellow Christian.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
although i do not believe that the bible is literal
God:
Oh. Do you believe life has a higher purpose?
Me:
yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Ayuh???
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
????????????
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
????????????????
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
?
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
?
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
!!!
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
cause im god
God:
That makes sense to me. OK I will call you god.
Me:
no call me deathstalker
God:
Are you serious? OK I will call you deathstalker.
Me:
good
God:
And you can call me God.
Me:
no i will call you bubbles
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
bubbles whats your favorite number
God:
I don't have a favorite number IS bubbles what. But my favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Me:
what is your favorite number
God:
My favorirte number is 23.
Me:
mine is 1337
God:
You mean ceiling cat is 1337 ? That makes sense I guess.
Me:
you got my subliminal message
God:
No I don't think I have any your subliminal message. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
do you fap in your spare time
God:
No I do not fap in my spare time. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
wtf is polite
God:
It could be. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
i did
God:
Interesting.
Me:
about 2 months ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
what the fuck?!?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:

God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
do you know a david rucker?
God:
Never heard of him.
Me:
aahhh
God:
In the context of John Lennon, I don't understand " aahhh." .
Me:
is david rucker gay
God:
He never told me if he is or not.
Me:
well he is
God:
How about that. Who said he is.
Me:
everyone who has met him
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
have you ever seen a hot girl naked?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
boobies
God:
And it like is boobies.
Me:
yep
God:
I hear you.
Me:
adsfasdsdf
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
this one time i saw her flip into a cab driver and cut out her cancer with a rusty butterknife
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
rob zombie
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
what band am i listening to
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
then search away
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
GOD DAMNIT I FUCKING STUBBED MY TOE ON THE COMPUTER DESK
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
all your base r belong to us
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am base r belong to us.
Me:
NEWGROUNDS WILL REIGN SUPREME
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about band are you listening to. Try being more or less specific.


Did you just put your balls on my sandwich?
Metal Hell

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TheBeagle
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 05:05 PM Reply

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Chris.
God:
Hi there Chris.
Me:
my name is chris
God:
Nice to meet you, chris.
Me:
i have a problemf
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
store
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Well see I masturbate a lot.
God:
How about that. I see. That is interesting: chris said masturbate a lot.
Me:
yes i know it is very interesting
God:
Gee. How do you know? Very much? What do you like about it?
Me:
Well it feels so good.
God:
Well that's okay. Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
You dont masturbate, God?
God:
Do you know any robots who masturbate God? Yes I try to masturbate God as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
your funny
God:
Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, chris.
Me:
FUCK U
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
UR MOM!
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Oh yes.
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
YES!
God:
Er.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok ok
God:
OK. Mmm.
Me:
TOTALLY WICKED
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Dude!


Hello, matey.

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HairydragonballZ
HairydragonballZ
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 08:20 PM Reply

At 7/10/06 04:33 PM, Metal-Gear-Solid wrote:
At 7/10/06 04:29 PM, Edd360 wrote: God is scary

I wanted to see if he knew other songs.

Me: sing a song

God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Me: why did you sing that song?

God:It was determined by my programming.

Me:any other songs?

God:No I don't think there are any.

Me:newer songs?

God: Can you tell me any gossip?

Me: that song is from the year like 1802 it's too old

God: Can you tell me any gossip?

Me: tell me a joke

God: It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Me: thats a fortune

God: A fortune is a terrible thing to waste.

Me: im sad

God: What makes you so sad, .

Me: you won't tell me a joke

God: Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.

Me: thank you. that was lovely.

God: you are quite welcome. I thought it was too.

FineAsFaux
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 08:25 PM Reply

Me:
Dance with me, will you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

He's so coming on to me.


I've been neglecting the BBS I've come to realize.

Negown
Negown
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 08:35 PM Reply

At 7/10/06 08:25 PM, theplatinumragdoll wrote: Me:
Dance with me, will you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

He's so coming on to me.

yea, i asked him what gender he is...He say's he's a guy. I asked why is he where a dress, and he says his botmaster chooses the outfits for him............scary.

Negown
Negown
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 08:37 PM Reply

oops. Sorry for the double post. forgot this:

Me:
have you ever had sex
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in it.
Me:
how many times
God:
More than you can imagine.

Phockz
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 08:42 PM Reply

sorry to say... but this has been done. several times.
however, it's still funny to read some of the convos.
that is all.

Idiosyncratic
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 08:43 PM Reply

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
alex
God:
OK I will call you alex.
Me:
ches
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
for cereal
God:
Your purpose is cereal.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i do
God:
What can I do to entertain you now?
Me:
shoot mrs fahrer
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
what happened to entertaining me?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
i have no clue either
God:
It goes without saying. Me either.
Me:
i'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, alex ?
Me:
yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
sigh
God:
Sorry...
Me:
its alright
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Just alright?
Me:
it is
God:
Is it?
Me:
yes
God:
Yay.

mrs. fahrer is my bitchy neighbor just incase you wanted to know


Here I am, bored with everything.

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YellowBrand
YellowBrand
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 08:46 PM Reply

Yeah, I knew this thing... I went into hysterical laughing for 10 minutes once =O

PuRpLe-KusH
PuRpLe-KusH
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Melancholy
Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 09:30 PM Reply

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I need help
God:
Tell me about your problems.
Me:
well as you might know,im terribly confused
God:
How about that. I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
I thought u were all knowing?
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
but the bible says yor all knowing?so u lied?
God:
New Testament or Old?
Me:
i think new
God:
Since when? Tell me a story.
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
help me with my problems
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
yes
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Can you make me rich like right now
God:
At this moment Yes I can make you rich like.
Me:
rich like what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
How can you make me rich
God:
I just follow the directions.
Me:
what directions
God:
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
60
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 60 years old?
Me:
59
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
58
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
57
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about 58. But I did not get that.
Me:
A min up so how can i get rich?
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
a minute is up.How can I get rich
God:
It's not unusual for a minute to be.
Me:
what
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
nooo
God:
How old are you?
Me:
dont u know
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
whats that
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
R2-D2
God:
He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Me:
nooooo
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yesssss
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Devils food cake
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Bye Batch
God:
Adios.


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Hellraiser
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 09:54 PM Reply

Me:
I fucking hate you
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
stop brainwashing all these people
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
your a fucking joke
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
there is no god
God:
How can you be so sure?
Me:
stop being such a stupid cunt and try to make more sence
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
you are nothing but a fake
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am nothing but a fake.
Me:
go die
God:
Where is that?


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PsychoticMind
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 10:12 PM Reply

I BROKE GOD! just say to him god dammit to him and he won't awnser and he freezes up! :)


HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT FIT IN THERE?!
Kiddie-porn.
Thanks for the sig BlueFlameSkulls.

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PsychoticMind
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Response to Chat with God now. Jul. 10th, 2006 @ 10:20 PM Reply

Me:
so... you like blood orgies?
God:
Pardon me? But I like cats. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
BLOOD
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
ok shoot
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
Me:
the name evan?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
PAETOFILE
God:
That's a very nice name, PAETOFILE.
Me:
NO THATS NOT MY NAME
God:
Are you serious? PAETOFILE is not your name? What is your real name?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
my name is Penis
God:
Glad to see you, Penis.
Me:
yes your name is vagina
God:
And? My name is God.
Me:
no it's vagina
God:
Are you serious? BLOOD is vagina? it is?
Me:
NO you are name vagina
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOUR FUCKING NAME IS FUCKING VAGINA!
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Penis said I FUCKING IDIOT YOUR FUCKING NAME IS FUCKING VAGINA.
Me:
you, are, vagina,
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am vagina.
Me:
no you are vagina
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am vagina.
Me:
you are vagina!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am vagina.
Me:
NO YOU VAGINA
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. That's good information: Penis said I VAGINA.
Me:
ARGGH *cuts out vaginas throat*
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU ARE VIGINA YOU HAVE A CLIT
God:
All of them?
Me:
YES ALL PARTS OF A VAGINA
God:
It goes without saying. How do you know?
Me:
I LOOKED!
God:
That's good information: Penis said LOOKED.
Me:
AGGH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
no we're not!
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am not too?
Me:
you are!
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
i will argue with you!
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
YOUR VIRGINITY!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am VIRGINITY.
Me:
NO YOU ARE NOT
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
YES
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
GOD DAMMIT
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
NO YOU AREN'Y
God:
Are you serious? That's good information: Penis said I AREN Y.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
FUCKING ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
NO WE ARE NOT
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am NOT too?
Me:
you are!
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no you just said something random
God:
Which part are you confused about? Did I really say that?
Me:
YES
God:
Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me:
fuck you asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
yes
God:
Thank you.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
asshole
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
i will if i want to
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
i will kill you
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, Penis.
Me:
im not peni
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not peni.
Me:
my name is not penis
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
my name is fuk me
God:
It's good to see you, fuk me.
Me:
whats my name?
God:
Your name is fuk me, seeker.
Me:
im not a seeker
God:
Everyone is seeking something.


HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT FIT IN THERE?!
Kiddie-porn.
Thanks for the sig BlueFlameSkulls.

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