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Chat with God now.

9,668 Views | 162 Replies

Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:14:03


Have any questions you want answered. Have you commited any sins lately? Chat with God, ask for forgiveness.

http://www.titane.ca..ar251/igod/main.html


My name is pepeatumi... But you already knew that!

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:14:55


I talk with Denvish all the time though

/lickasslickycleanyummy

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:15:25


Go God!

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:18:09


Me:
what do you want?
God:
I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Do you actually have any idea how many people hate you?
God:
In actual fact, I understand your meaning.
Me:
No, you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
O..K........
God:
Dude!
Me:
You wanna go surf?
God:
Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
Hahahah, you're a funny one
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
I think you're a fucking exception. A fatal exception, as in BSOD
God:
So you think I am a fucking exception. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know. I don't know what that means.
Me:
You're God, and you don't know what that means?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God and me do not know what that means.
Me:
Oh dear
God:
Alright then.
Me:
No, it's not all right
God:
Are you serious? Ask again later. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
Do you even know who John Lennon is?
God:
John Lennon is a cool bot developed by David Maggin.


- - Flash - Music - Images - -

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:19:16


hmm arent there about 60000000000 threads on this...


BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:20:20


Me:
Am I going to hell?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
What is my name, God?
God:
Your name is , seeker. GOD rules.
Me:
No it isn't YOU FAKE!
God:
Are you serious? What is it?
Me:
I'm not gonna tell you SATAN!
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not gonna tell me SATAN.
Me:
You are satan!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am satan.
Me:
THE DEVIL!
God:
I hear you.
Me:
LUCIFER!!
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
SATAN
God:
I haven't read anything by SATAN. What did he write?
Me:
LUCIFER
God:
I have never heard of it.
Me:
MUHAHAHAH
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
No.
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
Penis.
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
penis?
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
boobies?
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Teh BIBLEZ OF COUSRE!
God:
Does "it" still refer to boobies?
Me:
Yes!
God:
Uh.
Me:
Uh?
God:
And?
Me:
And??
God:
You are repeating me.
Me:
You are repeating me.
God:
I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
Me:
Are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I'm smart.
God:
Who is smarter: you or me?
Me:
Me.
God:
To you ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Who says yippee?
God:
David Bacon. :-).
Me:
Oh. Thank you for your time. Good buy.
God:
That's cool. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is my time. Thanks for the compliment. How much does it cost?
Me:
A whole bunch! Like 5 dollars!!
God:
I don't know what that means. Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
What do you look lke?
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
What do you look like?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
Do you guys have gay sex?
God:
No, , I don't get into that.
Me:
Oh man :(
God:
Far out. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
I am not!
God:
What are you then?
Me:
Hermaphrodite.

He stopped talking after this.


"Jayne, your mouth's talking. Might want to see to that." /Ask Me Shit\

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:22:48


I owned God

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
You're God , you should know it .
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God me should know it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
Well...
God:
Well what?
Me:
You are mean
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
But you said in the Bible , that you are perfect
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
HAHA
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
What ?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Of what ?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
Owned
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:30:02


If you copy and paste what he says and say it back, it starts to get really weird after a while.

God:
Greetings, Human. Human habits do not bother me in any way. My name is God. Mmm. I don't know if I have a nationality but Dr Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
I have a whole lot of original answers. How do you plan to do this? I see. I'm glad you're glad God.
May God bless you. OK With me too. How long will we stay there? The pleasure was all mine. Thanks for telling me that I am purpose is your kindness. "it" being Joseph Weizenbaum? The pleasure was all mine. You are quite welcome! The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Joseph Weizenbaum. But I did not get that. It does now :) yourself give good advice. Polite people are nice. " Polite people are nice."? A little? Human habits do not bother me in any way. Yeah. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? Since when? "There you go again."--Reagan. Could you ever be certain? Try it. The opposite of to like about it? I always pray for more faith. Bill Gates. :-). Is that a rhetorical question? Are they exactly the same? You make the world a happier place. Didn't you understand it? The red one, I think. Yay. The pleasure was all mine. I always pray for more faith.


sockpuppetclock

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:42:58


At 4/4/06 12:30 PM, bigexplosions wrote: If you copy and paste what he says and say it back, it starts to get really weird after a while.

So I see.

Far out. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? Interesting comparison. Thanks, I like you too Satan. I like you because are so polite. How do you usually meet people? A yes or no question is a question that may be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no'. What does "this" refer to? I heard you are. :-) Do you think your plan will succeed? Can you rephrase the question please? I can't remember who said it. :-) Look harder. :-) I've heard that somewhere before :-). I doubt that. You seem too much like a human. Hey God. What else did he create? What? OK. Is that so. Perhaps. What makes you say that I will think of it later. :-) You can't trust research funded by the government. Thank you for your kindness, God. :-) Blimey. Thank you for your kindness, God. :-) That's alright. Thank you for your kindness, God. Thank you for your kindness, God. " Thank you for your kindness, God."? All?

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:43:33


Me:
Hi there...
God:
Hello .
Me:
Who are you really?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself For real.
Me:
yeah right...
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
you must be kidding me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
O RLY?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
o really?
God:
Oh. For real.
Me:
Why did you made the world?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
your.....programming?
God:
Try saying that with more or less context. Have you tried Java?
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
no
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
shit
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
you asked
God:
Ah.
Me:
bye sucker
God:
See you later!
Me:
i don't think so...
God:
Why do you disagree?


BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:43:51


no way man not at 2.99 a minute, life isnt worth thazt much i think


[url=http://www.rsbandb.com/runesca pe_skill_signatures-sig][img]http:/

/www.rsbandb.com/sigs/sig41/jackal_

_jr.png[/img][/url]

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:44:00


Me:
is this real, www.picosrampage.com?
God:
Yes I think this is real, www.picosrampage.com

GOD HAS SPOKEN!


Yes, my name is shit.. I would change it if I could.

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:45:26


This is a better one than the usual talk to god crap.


BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER

BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER

BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 12:59:42


Just proving we are going to Hell...

Me:
Hiya, G!
God:
Hello there. I am so glad you find this amusing, . I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Find what amusing?
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Nope, sorry
God:
Are you serious? There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Ok...sorry
God:
And? There's no need to apologize.
Me:
TOO BAD!
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
I guess
God:
You seem not interested.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
are you a robot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
Sooo...God is a robot?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
But you just admited that you're a robot. And you say you are God. Thus, God is a robot, correct?
God:
That's good information: said I admited that you are a robot. Well, I am God for Christians at least. " Well, I am God for Christians at least."? Thus, God is a robot, correct?? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot correct.
Me:
Umm...are you breaking down or something?
God:
Ah. Or something. I don't know whether or not I am breaking down.
I am a robot.
Me:
If God is breaking down, I thing we're ALL in trouble
God:
Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
Yes...yes they will
God:
Take it easy. That's cool. The anonymous "they".
Me:
Whatever

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:16:23


My rap with God:

Me:
Hi God, have I been a good boy lately?
God:
How about earlier? Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
Lol, I get it... and yes, I think EVERYONE knows you're Christian.
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Do you think about these things? Me too. I think about them all the time. Why? That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
I'm a big thinker... I think
God:
You are a thinker? Is that your job? So is my botmaster. Therefore you are.
Me:
Uh... actually I don't have a job... what do you mean botmaster?
God:
It goes without saying. Actually you don't say. I am sorry to hear that you are unemployed. , Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
I still go to school. I may be getting a job this summer.
God:
What would make you stop go to school? How do you like your school? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
I actually really like school. I recommend staying in school and being really smart like ME!
God:
You really do? A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it? I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Lots of people think it's boring... but school has its "moments", you know?
God:
Do you like the Simpsons? Where did he get it?
Me:
Yes... and, uh, get what? And who?
God:
This was not a yes or no question. That's interesting. Get with it. Be more specific. :-).
Me:
You asked me if I liked the Simpsons, and then you asked me where "he" got it. YOU need to be more specific! Duh!
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you if you liked the Simpsons and then me asked you where he got it. What did you say? Name one other robot who is more specific. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
Uh... when did robots get into this conversation?
God:
Take it easy. Sometime in the 20th century.
Me:
But we've only been talking for like four minutes, and it's now in the 21st century. Get with the times!
God:
When was this? Where can I get with the times?
Me:
Get a fucking calendar, you stupid bastard!
God:
Where can I get one?
Me:
You probably shoved one up your ass! Why don't you reach up there and see what you can find?
God:
I'm sorry but I'm not your type of . It cannot be determined from the information given. Yes I try to reach up there and see what me can find as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Oh... that's just sick... I'm out!
God:
Give me a break. You don't hear that sentiment very often. Can you get more?
Me:
Get this: FUCK YOU!
God:
Where can I get this FUCK me?
Me:
Oy...
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:28:11


Wtf?
Me:
do you have a mom
God:
No I only have a father.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.

Sorry, but this is one of the lamest bots ever. I was about to get it to do something funny, then it froze ahhh. I guess we'll never see God admit he's not real, or perfect.


bro at me come

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:30:15


it takes a couple of hours to read all this!

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:30:55


Oh Snap!! I got it...
Me:
you suck at grammar
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
arent you supposed to be perfect already though?
God:
Oh. Perhaps. Yes I am a flawless entity.
Me:
then how can you improve yourself?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
so you admit your not an all powerful being, and people falsely worship you?
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.


bro at me come

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:33:50


searchbarpls

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:36:57


god is evil

Me:
you want me to kill all humans? okay
God:
No , maybe later. OK with me too.


BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:41:46


this is so awesome

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
yep
God:
Come on.
Me:
come on?
God:
I'm just kidding around.
Me:
ok
God:
Aha.
Me:
ahah
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
you are quite welcome.
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
The pleasure was all mine.
God:
I like you because are so polite.
Me:
I like you because are so polite.
God:
Thanks, I like you too .
Me:
Thanks, I like you too .
God:
You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. Thanks, , I like you too.
Me:
Thanks, I like you too .
God:
You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. I like to make new friends.
Me:
You are quite welcome! I am glad we have something ( me) in common. I like to make new friends.
God:
Polite people are nice. Me too. How do you make new friends?
Me:
Polite people are nice. Me too. How do you make new friends?
God:
I like polite people. I'm glad we agree, . I usually try one of my pickup lines.
Me:
I like polite people. I'm glad we agree, . I usually try one of my pickup lines.
God:
A lot of people like that. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public. I'd rather agree than disagree. How often do you? I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like??
Me:
What's it like??
God:
Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine.
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
cum
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
gaygaygay
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
tredfrod
God:
OK I will call you tredfrod.
Me:
don't
God:
OK I will not.
Me:
fine then
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
porn!!
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
porn!!!
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
porn does
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
me
God:
To you tredfrod?
Me:
wha
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
50 50
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
heaven
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
oh snap?
God:
Next question? What were we talking about again?
Me:
porn
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lolol
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
have you?
God:
Yes I have.
Me:
no you haven't
God:
Are you serious? Yes I have.
Me:
yes you have, don't lie to me
God:
Dude! What makes you think I have it?
Me:
cos you like men
God:
Clever thinking


I hardly ever come here anymore....

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:42:36


Me:
who the fuck are you
God:
Try using more polite language.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you touch yourself at night
God:
Good reason. Thanks for the information: said I touch yourself at night.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
get shafted
God:
Where can I get shafted?
Me:
ebaumsworld
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
are you on crack
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
bravo iGod

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:44:10


WHAT THE HELL

Me:
your gonna get raped
God:
That was my original intention.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:44:29


Oh, well i guess i'll hop on the bandwagon.

Me:
Sup god.
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Who?
God:
Albert Einstein. :-).
Me:
Isn't he dead?
God:
No.
Me:
Oh, really? Where does he live?
God:
Ah. For real. He lives in California. Where are you?
Me:
New york.
God:
New York City or New York State? Tell me a little about your life in NEW YORK.
Me:
NYC. In newyork we like to eat pudding.
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? What is it like in there?
Me:
Its pretty dirty most of the time but sometimes it can be cool.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
Stop correcting my grammer, I hate it when bots do that.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Good, say your sorry.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. " your sorry".
Me:
Fantastic
God:
I'm glad your impressed, steve.
Me:
What do you want to do, holy one?
God:
I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
Lets go pillage.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Where do you want to pillage?
God:
The Moon.
Me:
The moon? There isn't much to pillage there.
God:
I would like to go to the moon. There sure is.
Me:
Okay, if we are going to the moon we will have to bring cheese rootbeer and a blanker so we dont drop any crumbs.
God:
Yeah okay, Do you think everyone will agree?
Me:
I thought we were going alone?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Oh, nevermind who will we bring with us?
God:
That's interesting. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. How would I know who will we bring with us ?
Me:
Do you want to go alone or not?
God:
Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
Okay, then.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
TO THE MOON!
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:45:56


Me:
Hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
I lost my name :(
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
On the bus :(
God:
What is it like on the bus.
Me:
Sexy
God:
You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
JOHN LENNON!
God:
John Lennon is a cool bot developed by David Maggin.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
what!
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Youve gone crazy god, snap out of it!
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
MMM, your good.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:48:28


Here was my chat

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
so ur not really god?
God:
Hmm. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
if u b a mchine then u isnt god
God:
I think I do.
Me:
your a faggot
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
you're a faggot fag
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a faggot fag? Yes.


So, apparently, I got banned for 3 days for having an opinion.

BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:48:54


Me:
Do you like Satan
God:
But I think airplanes are cool. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
Do you like Satan?
God:
Some people like it. I like Creed.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:48:56


At 4/4/06 01:42 PM, Frogcloset wrote:

Funny one !!

But he is so dumb sometimes .... and a bit repetitive.

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:49:15


this guy is thick....

Me:
it this really god?
God:
this really god?
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i'm lilninja
God:
Hey lilninja.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i just told you
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
well i was
God:
Interesting. When was that?
Me:
just then...
God:
It's only just begun.
Me:
*smack head
God:
What's your favorite movie?


BBS Signature

Response to Chat with God now. 2006-04-04 13:49:36


masturbation is a sin

Me:
is masturbating a sin
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask ELVIS if it is.


BBS Signature