Forum Topic: My Bad Poo Experience - Dan Tribute

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Markus

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Posted at: 4/4/06 09:16 AM

Markus NEUTRAL LEVEL 25

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Since Dan’s recent shit topic, I also have a nice poo experience that i'll never forget.

This all happened at least 5 years ago. I was out on the streets all day with a family member. The last time I took a shit was at least the day before. So we visited places and saw a lot of stuff. At various point of the days I had to go take a shit, but needed to take a shit badly. But I did not want to disturb our progress in walking around so I just squeezed my ass for like 5 minutes and all would be fine. So these “shit attacks” got worse with every time they accrued but I managed to escape the toilet every time by holding my shit.

So this went one all day, so literally for hours. Of course this was all a preparation for a big climax. At night we where eating at MC Donalds I had the need to take a shit again, but I really really needed to take a shit. I could not hold it anymore, my body wanted to get rid of it once and for all. So I excused myself and went to the toilet.

Once in the toilet I covered up the seat with toilet paper and all that jazz. I sat down with a pain in my stomach but nothing came out which frustrated me. I pushed and I pushed but the process would not start. But all of a sudden the movement began, real slow. The shi started to come out of my ass at a real real reeeaaaal slow speed and it just got bigger and wider. And then hell broke loose.

The peace of shit got so wide that It hurt my rectum (anus), hurt real bad. And It just stopped going, it got stuck. So my ass was hurting real bad, like my stomach and the shit was stuck. Meaning I COULD NOT CLOSE MY ANUS. Squeezing would only hurt more and had no effect because that peace of shit was rock solid. Due to me holding my shit all day and so for more then 24 hours, it was really hard and wide.

So there I sit with shit stuck in my anus, with a great amount of pain so I started to panic a bit. So I tried to push and push, and just squeeze a bit. At least 2/3 minutes past before my shit continued its path with the pain that came with it. After the widest part had past I finally had some relief and I could finally close my anus again. But I can ensure you that having your virgin anus stretched at max is no fun.

And that was it, no more shit. I spent almost, if not 10 minutes to get rid of one giant chunk of compressed shit. My ass still hurt and felt real sore. Someone should have filmed my face of pain, priceless.

Then I knew for sure that did not want to become gay and that if a woman would tell that I did not know how it hurts to have a baby I would say: to a certain extend I do know. I gave birth to a giant peace of shit. And when I looked down in to the toilet it was indeed huge. There lay my nemesis, defeated but at such a great cost.

I then went back to my family member still sitting at the table @ MC Donalds. And not a word I said about it, even though I was gone for 15 minutes.


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bigexplosions

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Posted at: 4/4/06 09:30 AM

bigexplosions NEUTRAL LEVEL 21

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Well, shit happens.


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SunChipsClock

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Posted at: 4/4/06 09:56 AM

SunChipsClock EVIL LEVEL 07

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Chronic shits are the worst, you get it from smoking too much weed. This one time I had to literaly run home holding my ass shut because of it.

Fun memory though :).

One day back seems the mod's are living up to their image. Heh.


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IamG0D

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Posted at: 4/4/06 10:06 AM

IamG0D EVIL LEVEL 03

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At 4/4/06 09:16 AM, deurwaarder wrote:

There lay my nemesis, defeated but at such a great cost.

There lay my nemesis LOL!!! that's the funniest thing i read in that story. But the good thing was that it was diarea (i don' tknow how to spell it lol) and you farting like crazy because that would fo fucking sucked.


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Markus

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Posted at: 4/4/06 05:58 PM

Markus NEUTRAL LEVEL 25

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At 4/4/06 09:30 AM, bigexplosions wrote: Well, shit happens.

Yup, tough ass shit.


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Shortyxxs

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Posted at: 4/4/06 05:59 PM

Shortyxxs DARK LEVEL 16

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Uh oh.....someone wrote a book!

It's ....intresting though

The New Newgrounds
I like toast Scrubs...


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Squirleyzero

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Posted at: 4/4/06 06:15 PM

Squirleyzero LIGHT LEVEL 10

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I feel for you man...I've had the same instance happen to me before...sounds like your case was a little worse, but I know what it's like to have a humungus turd just sitting in you anus...

I've got a funny story of my own...about a friend of mine...one time at restaurant, my friend decides to go inbetween two cars and take a crap because he can't hold it any longer, and just because he's that kind of person to smear crap on someone's car...so he goes inbetween the cars and pulls down his drawers...wouldn't you know it the owner of the vehicle comes out...my friend is literally "scared shitless" and craps out of panic...he gets it all over himself and runs...His nickname now is "Poopy" No Joke


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demoninabottle

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Posted at: 4/4/06 06:17 PM

demoninabottle NEUTRAL LEVEL 23

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okay then. I was eating when I read that!


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demoninabottle

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Posted at: 4/4/06 06:19 PM

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That musta really been a CRAPPY expierience!


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Ethereal

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Posted at: 4/4/06 06:25 PM

Ethereal EVIL LEVEL 13

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Great! Sounds like intense fun.


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Markus

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Posted at: 4/4/06 07:28 PM

Markus NEUTRAL LEVEL 25

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At 4/4/06 06:25 PM, -Ethereal- wrote: Great! Sounds like intense fun.

Solid fun i tell you.

i should have taken a pic of it, then i would be in the top 10 of rate my shit .com


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TehPhilippe

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Posted at: 4/4/06 07:31 PM

TehPhilippe FAB LEVEL 13

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tl;dr
Not really. Actually a quite nice story, some nice, humorous imagery (to some extent =/) and all around A+.


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tigerkitty

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Posted at: 4/4/06 07:35 PM

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Yeah... that's rather disgusting... that'll teach you to try to disobey your body.


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Hi-dud

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Posted at: 4/4/06 07:54 PM

Hi-dud NEUTRAL LEVEL 11

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My Girlfriend said it hurt like shit to get it stretched, but she wanted to go pretty fast, so she forced it.

I got my ears pierced like last week, and stretched them so I can get cool earrings, and that hurt like shit, and the needle is tiny. It must hurt like hell to get your ass stretched.


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FUNKbrs

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Posted at: 4/4/06 07:59 PM

FUNKbrs EVIL LEVEL 10

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At 4/4/06 07:35 PM, tigerkitty wrote: Yeah... that's rather disgusting... that'll teach you to try to disobey your body.

Fiber is your friend. Try and add lots of lettuce to your diet.

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API

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Posted at: 4/4/06 08:03 PM

API LIGHT LEVEL 22

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That story was shitty.

BADUMP TSH.

I actually found it funny, I had JUST come back from the bathroom.


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Hobo-Assassin

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Posted at: 4/4/06 08:06 PM

Hobo-Assassin DARK LEVEL 23

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At 4/4/06 06:19 PM, demoninabottle wrote: That musta really been a CRAPPY expierience!

We have a comedian here folks.

Will assassinate for food.


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JadeTheAssassin

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Posted at: 4/4/06 08:10 PM

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At 4/4/06 07:59 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:
At 4/4/06 07:35 PM, tigerkitty wrote: Yeah... that's rather disgusting... that'll teach you to try to disobey your body.
Fiber is your friend. Try and add lots of lettuce to your diet.

And sweet, tasty bran. :)

I've had a similar experience, but I don't want to get into details.

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Assassin is born.

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TheDoctor

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Posted at: 4/4/06 08:27 PM

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At 4/4/06 09:16 AM, deurwaarder wrote:
I then went back to my family member still sitting at the table @ MC Donalds. And not a word I said about it, even though I was gone for 15 minutes.

Would you ask questions if a member of your family had been on the shitter for fifteen minutes?

Failgrounds.

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