I don't wanna be a VJ anymore...

[Manman]

I can fondly remember a time when I younger. A time when I was pure, naive, even stupid. A time when I wanted nothing more than to be a Video Jockey.

I would make my own videos, documenting myself as I introduced different videos. I would give all the relevant info about the artists, directors, even locations where the video was shot. I was flawless. When I would hear about the VJ searches and contests, I would practically piss my pants in excitement, hoping that this was going to be the year. (I was far to young at the time to even be eligible, but again, I wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.)

Time went on, and my dream lived on inside me for another few years. I would film myself less, but only because I had to concentrate more on school and my social life.

But then a change occurred in me. I began to see things in a new light, and gain more than a few new perspectives. I became sharper, and more eloquent in my speech and writing. It was as though my brain had woken up from a kind of blissful daydream. I remember thinking that this new change would only help me more in achieving my goal. I had no idea how wrong I was.

With my newfound change, I also began to experience new things. All the physical and mental experiences were no longer outside my reach, as I had the age and the resources to attain them. Some nights were spent locked in my own head, while other were spent far from home in new and exciting places. A lot of my new adventures involved music.

I got involved with a clique of "music kids," and for a time was the lead singer in a friend's band. During this time I was introduced to new types of music, and I found the majority of it met my approval. So much so, that I wondered how I could have lived without it.

But the new music that I was getting deeper and deeper involved with wasn't what I had known. I was used to the Top 40, the pop, the accepted music of society, the music shown to us by MuchMusic and MTV. Their music was what I had honed myself to deal with. This new music was something totally alien to them, but I found it to be more comfortable.

Needless to say, I was slightly confused for a time. But then I began to think that I could become the savior. I could breathe new air into the stagnant pool of girl-pop and alt-rock! I could be the best VJ ever, simply by being something different! I had all the skills, knowledge, and drive to make it. I was going to save music television.

But my new perception also enabled me to see a change in my target, my MuchMusic. Not only was it now different from the style that I had grown to love, it was its antithesis.

I began to watch various features on the channel and cringe in disgust. Whole hours dedicated to Hilary Duff, Hawthorne Heights, and Green Day soured my interest in even bothering to save the station. It seemed to me like they were too far-gone already. The new line up of VJs that they had enlisted didn't help either. They shilled bohemian fashion and retro-rock t-shirts, while promoting the latest Lindsay Lohan movie with as much enthusiasm as they could possibly muster. They were pathetic.

I couldn't imagine possibly being a part of that. I had no shame in previously wanting to, but in light of what the station had become I had no choice but to abandon all thoughts of joining their army of drones. It simply would have been too much for me to bear.

I still want to be seen, and still want to be heard. I want to be a big deal. But I also want to do it on my own terms. I don't want to be a VJ anymore. I want to be myself.

Well you're still going to be one, young man.

[Bukkake]

It's too bad you signed over your soul to the devil to get good at being a VJ...

[Popop878]

At 3/31/06 05:10 PM, Scene wrote: It's too bad you signed over your soul to the devil to get good at being a VJ...

Exactly, you can't get out of it now.

[Manman]

At 3/31/06 05:13 PM, popop_ozu wrote:

At 3/31/06 05:10 PM, Scene wrote: It's too bad you signed over your soul to the devil to get good at being a VJ...

Exactly, you can't get out of it now.

I didn't sign anything. I was just naturally good at it. I can sell myself pretty well, and even work as a telemarketer.

[Elfer]

Yeah, you were kind of a retarded child, huh?