25 worst things...ever

[Manman]

25. Being Naked
I just find it really uncomfortable, all the time. Say nothing for being with someone else, or a crowd. The main reason I don't do pornos.

24. Taxes
Pretty self-explanatory. I know I need to pay taxes so total chaos doesn't break out (or some shit). Doesn't mean I have to like it.

23. Birds
Fuck birds. Seriously. I hate birds. They say only pigeons are rats of the sky, but in all actuality all birds a disease-ridden death merchants. I swear to god I'll kill any feathered wildlife that comes within 20 feet of me.

22. The Internet
Sure, it's made our lives a hell of a lot easier and better. But at the same time, it's spawned veritable legions of stupid, lazy, porno-addicted assholes that revel in the fact that they are at home and they can insult someone who is thousands of miles away with little or no consequence. Boo Internets.

21. Airport security
I was detained by airport security in my hometown because my mother took a picture of me in the terminal just before I went off to a competition. I never made it to the competition.

20. Dying
I had to put this in here somewhere. I mean, how much does this suck! I know we all have to die, but it still sucks. Like taxes.

19. Puking
I was never a big fan of expunging the contents of my stomach. Something about it is just fucking gross.

18. Your mom
Hahaha. Ha. You dick.

17. Being cheated on
SO EMO! But seriously, Jess, I fucking hate you.

16. Country music
It just really, really blows as much as something can blow. It's bad enough I have to in a town where any girl worth going after listens to this shit. (I pick out the winners by pumping some Ladytron. This method doesn't leave me with many winners.)

15. Jail
Can't say I've ever been. But I've seen Oz.
No, really. I know you read all the papers saying that prisoners get treated too good in jail. Well, the jail might treat them good, but other inmates don't. Everyone treats everyone else like shit. It's constant abuse of all kinds.

14. STDs
Might have something to do with #17. I never found out for sure. It's all gone now.

13. Theatre
I'm talking about actual live theatre. This stuff is really boring. Not because I'm a Hollywood-molded robot who hates culture. We probably just don't have any good actors in our town. I need to move.

12. Awards shows
I really don't want to get into this one. Fuck it.

11. Little dogs
I have nothing against little dogs, actually. I'm more against what they have become. I actually owned a little Boston terrier for a time, until he caught a bad case of DEAD. I was considering getting another small dog, because they are so loyal, and more energetic than most other larger dogs. Plus, they are much easier to care for when living alone. I was advised against it however, mostly because it would be "too gay." I countered with the "chick magnet" side, which was parried by "we'll kick your dog every day." I hate my friends.

10. Crying men
I don't mean crying boys, or crying males in general. I mean full-on bawling grown men. I have seen enough of this for the rest of my life. I don't care what you might have had to deal with in the past, or what kind of Navy SEAL-type training you have. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will prepare you for a grown man who suddenly breaks down in the fetal position and begins to cry. Nothing.

9. Your mom
HAHAHA. Fuck.

8. First dates
God-damn! My idea of a successful first date is one where she recognizes me a few days later. Not that I haven't had any relationships, but the first actual date was always hell for me.

7. Talking on the phone
I wouldn't even own a phone if life didn't make it a fucking necessity. It's just really awkward to speak to someone when you can't read what their body language or facial expressions are telling you. It actually makes me feel like I'm blind.

6. July 25
The day I turn another year older, year after year. Scares the hell out of me.

5. War
Again, I don't really want to get into this one. It's just too much bullshit, and it's on the list.

4. Money
One of the worst ideas on the face of the planet. One can argue that this concept is so evil, it can never be destroyed. The primary root of sin, you always want it, but never have enough of it. There really is no escape.

3. Drivers
You know the ones. Drivers who are bad enough to aggravate you, but not bad enough to swerve off the road, crash into a boulder and die. I don't know where or how one person can pick up so many bad habits.

2. Anal sex
IT'S JUST FUCKING WRONG SO CUT IT OUT.

1. Your mom
HAHAHA. Fuck you man. Fuck you.

[Crashman]

At 3/28/06 12:01 AM, -Manman- wrote: 25. Being Naked

Thats like the best thing

[Wadezilla]

What's wrong with anal sex?

[TimeBender]

Haha......ha...ha.....ha...ha.....HA

I get the last laugh.

[MadCow]

At 3/28/06 12:04 AM, Crashman wrote:

At 3/28/06 12:01 AM, -Manman- wrote: 25. Being Naked

Thats like the best thing

Seconded till the end of time!!!1

[xXdeezdeezXx]

"you fuckbag. dude, all of what you said is true, except the part where you start talking about my mom like some knocked up brothel girl. and by the way, my mom has fucking 3 birds all within my vicinity. suck it up. stop it! j00r life doesn't suck just cause you had to see a bird.
jesus walks on you"

[RedSkunk]

At 3/28/06 12:01 AM, -Manman- wrote: 17. Being cheated on
SO EMO! But seriously, Jess, I fucking hate you.

The origin of the entire topic. Wah.

[Manman]

At 3/28/06 12:06 AM, Wadezilla wrote: What's wrong with anal sex?

Everything.

[bakerrr]

At 3/28/06 12:23 AM, -Manman- wrote:

At 3/28/06 12:06 AM, Wadezilla wrote: What's wrong with anal sex?

Everything.

According to this guy, nothing.