-poxpower- 2nd Standup act

[poxpower]

And now folks, we have a real treat for you, internationaly renowned comedian, 21 years in the business and mighty fistfuls of comedic rage pointed towards your gizzards, give a warm welcome to -POXPOWER- ( dashes are pronounced)
*CLAPCLAPCLAP*

Hey folks, how you doing tonight? I don't really care. Who really cares anyways? Why does every comedian ask that? Wouldn't it take hours to ask each and everyone in this room how they are doing? Man I should just say I am doing great and I am really happy to be here, and let's get on with the show!

I was in town last week, having a fat day and I was looking through old comics and you know I got some from the 80's of course and then I went back home on the bus and as I was looking at people I was wondering "Hey, what did that lady look like in the 80's?"
Do you ever do that? Man, I do that all the time now! I just look at some 30-40 year old lady and wonder what the hell she could have looked 20 years ago. Probably like Michael Jackson lol he's so girly.

Speaking of Michael Jackson, did you ever wonder how much it must suck to live in the arctic? Man, I hate it when I am walking outside in the winter and my face and hands are cold, but not my body, and I am actualy sweating, Don't you hate that? God its so annoying, its like a sauna in my pants while I am making popsicles with my snot. And don't you also hate it when you're thirsty and its cold?
Fuck, wouldn't that be the worse death ever? Dying of thrist in the arctic? Or thirst and frostbite at the same time? While a polar bear was sodomizing you?

Speaking of Sodomy, if gays have a parade, why not other people? Why not black people? Why not fat people? Man, a fat people parade, that would be something. 500 tons of crisco rolled in bacon walking painstakinly slow down the parade road while firemen spray them with a hose to keep them from dehydrating. No need for floats even, just tie 4-5 togeter, throw a couple gallons of paint on them and put them on a flatbet and you have an instant float! Of course there would be fat models in bikini, so it probably wouldn't be televised, because it could give seizures to anyone with at least a working eye.

Man fat people, am I right or what?

[vibes]

You know I say this to every person who wonders why it's just gays who have parades.

If you want a heterosexual parade.. go ahead and fucking organise one then.

[ArabFreak]

Mj is in the fucking desert.

[Frostbreath]

At 3/1/06 10:30 AM, -poxpower- wrote: Probably like Michael Jackson lol he's so girly.

Do you really say lol in public?

Man fat people, am I right or what?

That part was GREAT.

Overall, suckage. But then again, you don't care.

[gumOnShoe]

MIB for MJ? Maybe... ?

I think you're getting a wtf silence from the crowd pox at this point.

[Solfaen]

I'm surprised there was audience, but it was funny nonetheless.

[Gunter45]

The material isn't all that great. I liked the intro about how you don't really care how everyone's doing but I don't think you followed through all that well. I don't know, I'd have to see how you deliver a joke to really tell, though.

[SuperSmoothSmiley]

Well I thought it was funny...I Laughed I cried....I cried somemore and then I kinda went into a hysterical rant screaming STELLA!!!!

I have issues....my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I gorw up and I Said, "I wanna be a jeep daddy!" and he luaghed and said "Ha ha, are boys retarted, get him a helmet,"

Why am I telling you this? I don know...I just dont know....STELLA!

(overall it was pretty funny)

[White-Rhyno]

At 3/1/06 10:30 AM, -poxpower- wrote: Probably like Michael Jackson lol he's so girly.

Would you actually use lol in a live standup routine?

[poxpower]

At 3/1/06 10:41 AM, White_Rhyno wrote:

At 3/1/06 10:30 AM, -poxpower- wrote: Probably like Michael Jackson lol he's so girly.

Would you actually use lol in a live standup routine?

do you actualy think this is a standup routine?

[Leeloo-Minai]

At 3/1/06 10:31 AM, vibes wrote:
If you want a heterosexual parade.. go ahead and fucking organise one then.

That'd be the gayest thing evar.

[Geechy]

At 3/1/06 10:30 AM, -poxpower- wrote: I was in town last week, having a fat day

Lesbian catholic schoolgirls!

[VirginLungs]

what happened to the 1st?

[Geechy]

At 3/1/06 10:54 AM, VirginLungs wrote: what happened to the 1st?

Would you actually use lol in a live standup routine?

[poxpower]

At 3/1/06 10:56 AM, Geechy wrote:

Would you actually use lol in a live standup routine?

please never leave my side again, Herman.

[Peter-II]

Fag.

[DingoTheDog]

twas alright (i have a GF), better than anything i could come up with (i have a GF). Needs more swearing in my oh so humble opinion (i have a GF)

I thnik u are being far too (i have a GF) original though, nick lots of (i have a GF) jokes from other standup acts, like Roy Chubby Brown his low brow (i have a GF) jokes have been around for years and if u were to copy few people would (i have a GF) no

am i kewl now?

[Geechy]

At 3/1/06 11:06 AM, _stillborn_ wrote: Fag.

I agree.

[SuperSmoothSmiley]

Well...Im bored...and i have nothing to do so here is my attmept to redeem this thread (or make it even shittier) by doing my "stand up routine"

Hey my names S_P and first off im gonna tell you about my dad....what a fucking idiot. I was faking sick this one time and my dad said "Son, is there anything I could get you while im at the store," and I said "yes...some poonanny," My dad didnt know wtf I was talking so he said "You better come with me and show me what it looks like,"

I agreed and we went to the store and he walked right up to the cashier women and said "lady, show me your poonanny," and she said exuse me? Then my dad said "Lady, my son is sick and needs poonanny, now, how big is your poonanny?"

The lady broke out in hysterics and made us leave. My dad is also very cheap...we were at the store one time and he liked this shirt he saw. He asked how much and the cashier said 50$ so my dad pulled out his knfie and cut the shirt said "how much now?"

Well...thats all I could put toghther in this short amount of time. I know it was a peice of shit but o well.

[DingoTheDog]

At 3/1/06 11:15 AM, smiley_production wrote: Well...Im bored...and i have nothing to do so here is my attmept to redeem this thread (or make it even shittier) by doing my "stand up routine"

Hey my names S_P and first off im gonna tell you about my dad....

BOO! I wish i had rotten Efruit to Ethrow at you

[poxpower]

At 3/1/06 11:20 AM, DingoTheDog wrote:

BOO! I wish i had rotten Efruit to Ethrow at you

Stop rebelling all over my thread, Johnny Cash.