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Illegalize Masturbation

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Matty233
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-05 23:16:58 Reply

At 1/5/04 10:36 PM, Locke666 wrote:
Its the masterbation, its driven him to insanity
Damn. You have discovered my dark secret now i must kill you and all witnesses to this.

To kill:
RugbymacDaddy, JudgemeHarshx, everyone else on the internet

well thats not to many people

Wow you're stressed out. Relax. Jerk off. Trust me, you'll feel better.

diazepim
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-06 02:36:10 Reply

see what happens when you try to legalize marijuana and illegalize masturbation? People go insane in the membrane. Say no to drugs... yes to the monkey.

JMHX
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-06 10:27:12 Reply

Locke is a prime example of the dark side of masturbating.


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lapslf
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-06 11:22:11 Reply

Yes, too much masturbation can have terrible effects on a person. You should immediatly stop masturbating, the moment you:

-start liking Good Charlotte
-think Ben Affleck is a good actor
-try to figure out the deep storyline in Dragonball Z
-like the taste of Heineken beer
-laugh with Bob Saget, instead of at
-understand the way chickenfuckers think
-read Marvel Comics
-think Carie Ann Moss is hot

Proteas
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-06 12:46:17 Reply

At 1/6/04 11:22 AM, Veggiemeal wrote: Yes, too much masturbation can have terrible effects on a person. You should immediatly stop masturbating, the moment you:

-start liking Good Charlotte
-think Ben Affleck is a good actor
-try to figure out the deep storyline in Dragonball Z
-like the taste of Heineken beer
-laugh with Bob Saget, instead of at
-understand the way chickenfuckers think
-read Marvel Comics
-think Carie Ann Moss is hot

OH SHIT! I got 6 out of 8, I'm screwed!!

(the two being the beer and chicken fucker comments)


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diazepim
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-07 04:01:38 Reply

At 1/6/04 11:22 AM, Veggiemeal wrote:
-start liking Good Charlotte
-think Ben Affleck is a good actor
-try to figure out the deep storyline in Dragonball Z
-like the taste of Heineken beer
-laugh with Bob Saget, instead of at
-understand the way chickenfuckers think
-read Marvel Comics
-think Carie Ann Moss is hot

Wait, maybe you aren't masterbating enough...

Ann Moss is hot... extremely, that's why I wear calvin klein underwear.... Ben Affleck is a good actor.. did you see Daredevil and Paycheck? He's the Next al pacino and beyond...
What's wrong with marvel comics...
Heineken? let go my heiny... It's the beer of choice in most countries of Earth.
Well, you're like bored... you're on farm... pigs get too messy... I don't have any sheeps... so fuck them chickens...hmmm chicken taste like chicken.

lapslf
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-07 08:57:39 Reply

At 1/7/04 04:01 AM, diazepim wrote: Ann Moss is hot... extremely, that's why I wear calvin klein underwear.... Ben Affleck is a good actor.. did you see Daredevil and Paycheck? He's the Next al pacino and beyond...
What's wrong with marvel comics...
Heineken? let go my heiny... It's the beer of choice in most countries of Earth.
Well, you're like bored... you're on farm... pigs get too messy... I don't have any sheeps... so fuck them chickens...hmmm chicken taste like chicken.

Ann Moss is fucking ugly. Even with make up she looks like an old lady. Ben Affleck just can't act, and Daredevil is a bad movie about a bad Marvel comic. I don't like Marvel comics because they are all so much alike. A little super hero here and there blablablabla and why would anybody care about a storyline? Heineken has a very cheap supermarket taste. I think it's the worst Dutch beer brand (American and French beer is even worse). Just because the whole world drinks it doesn't mean it's good. Just a matter of marketing. And when I'm on a farm I just fuck the farmer's daughter, not his chickens.

Proteas
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-07 14:28:19 Reply

At 1/7/04 08:57 AM, Veggiemeal wrote:
At 1/7/04 04:01 AM, diazepim wrote: Ann Moss is hot... extremely, that's why I wear calvin klein underwear.... Ben Affleck is a good actor.. did you see Daredevil and Paycheck? He's the Next al pacino and beyond...
What's wrong with marvel comics...
Heineken? let go my heiny... It's the beer of choice in most countries of Earth.
Well, you're like bored... you're on farm... pigs get too messy... I don't have any sheeps... so fuck them chickens...hmmm chicken taste like chicken.
Ben Affleck just can't act, and Daredevil is a bad movie about a bad Marvel comic.

Have you seen dogma?

:Heineken has a very cheap supermarket taste. I think it's the worst Dutch beer brand (American and French beer is even worse).

Well, I can't disagree with you there.

:And when I'm on a farm I just fuck the farmer's daughter, not his chickens.

Hey... that something I agree with. Who wants chicken when you can have poontang?


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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-07 19:02:44 Reply

At 1/7/04 08:57 AM, Veggiemeal wrote:
Ann Moss is fucking ugly. Even with make up she looks like an old lady. Ben Affleck just can't act, and Daredevil is a bad movie about a bad Marvel comic. I don't like Marvel comics because they are all so much alike. A little super hero here and there blablablabla and why would anybody care about a storyline? Heineken has a very cheap supermarket taste. I think it's the worst Dutch beer brand (American and French beer is even worse). Just because the whole world drinks it doesn't mean it's good. Just a matter of marketing. And when I'm on a farm I just fuck the farmer's daughter, not his chickens.

What the fuck are you talking about? What the hell does a 17 year old hollandboy know about Marvel and Daredevil. You must be gay.... you'd be after farmer and his male dog.

You live in a democracy... so you must know that majority rules... Ben Affleck is good actor... Good Will Hunting/Boiler Room... like Madonna is a BAD actress. Her movies suck. If you suck, you don't scripts and you don't get that popular as an actor... and people wouldn't like him if he was bad.

What the heck are you blabbering about Marvel being all same... Marvel produced Spiderman? Hulk? X-men? Fantastic Four? Daredevil? Punisher? ... the most intriging storylines and most original series ever???!?? How is Daredevil similar to the Hulk?

Have you ever thought, that people listen to music not because it's popular but it's also good? Remember Macereina by Los Lobos or something? The group sucked... but the song got popular because it was good... Good music is almost proved by one hit wonder because it's not just a fad... it's good song... Sorta like beer... world doesn't drink sucky beer... it drinks what it likes... sorta like Americans drinking Bud Light or Miller Lite... over NewCastle or Warsteiner... because they like it better... it's better beer. Heinkein is a decent beer. You shouldn't even be commenting because you're under the age to drink. So shut the hell up about beer.

Ann Moss is freak'n hot that's why she's a Freakn MODEL? Get it? Have you seen ugly model selling underwear... they can't because they are UGLY... Ann Moss sell the shit out of Calvin Kleins... because most people thinks she's hotter than shit.

lapslf
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-08 03:05:52 Reply

At 1/7/04 07:02 PM, diazepim wrote: What the fuck are you talking about? What the hell does a 17 year old hollandboy know about Marvel and Daredevil. You must be gay.... you'd be after farmer and his male dog.

I have girlfriend, so I am not gay mkay? And for your information, we have comic shops in Holland too, and I regularly pay my visit there to expand my collection. So I know my stuff.

You live in a democracy... so you must know that majority rules... Ben Affleck is good actor... Good Will Hunting/Boiler Room... like Madonna is a BAD actress. Her movies suck. If you suck, you don't scripts and you don't get that popular as an actor... and people wouldn't like him if he was bad.

People like Ben Affleck because they think he looks good. Not because he's such a great actor.

What the heck are you blabbering about Marvel being all same... Marvel produced Spiderman? Hulk? X-men? Fantastic Four? Daredevil? Punisher? ... the most intriging storylines and most original series ever???!?? How is Daredevil similar to the Hulk?

You are just confirming what I said: Only cheap superhero stories. How is daredevil similar to the hulk? Like it is with every marvel hero: An underdog who becomes a superhero although he would rather not be.

Have you ever thought, that people listen to music not because it's popular but it's also good? Remember Macereina by Los Lobos or something? The group sucked... but the song got popular because it was good... Good music is almost proved by one hit wonder because it's not just a fad... it's good song... Sorta like beer... world doesn't drink sucky beer... it drinks what it likes... sorta like Americans drinking Bud Light or Miller Lite... over NewCastle or Warsteiner... because they like it better... it's better beer. Heinkein is a decent beer. You shouldn't even be commenting because you're under the age to drink. So shut the hell up about beer.

Uhm... In my country I'm old enough to drink beer (you have to be 16 at least, and if your not, you can easily drink). Thanks for your envy. Good Charlotte is just cheap mainstream rock promoted by
big record companies. Nothing good about it. Heineken just has some good promotion, so kids who start drinking start with Heineken and get used to the cheap supermarket taste.

Ann Moss is freak'n hot that's why she's a Freakn MODEL? Get it? Have you seen ugly model selling underwear... they can't because they are UGLY... Ann Moss sell the shit out of Calvin Kleins... because most people thinks she's hotter than shit.

I don't. See looks like what my cat vomits out when he has eaten to much flowers. Matter of taste, so undebatable, I'm afraid.

diazepim
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-08 20:59:30 Reply

At 1/8/04 03:05 AM, Veggiemeal wrote:
You are just confirming what I said: Only cheap superhero stories. How is daredevil similar to the hulk? Like it is with every marvel hero: An underdog who becomes a superhero although he would rather not be.

Not true at all... Spiderman may have been an underdog that became a superhero. Daredevil's a lawyer. Bruce Banner is a scientist. Thor's a God. Ironman is a scientist. Captain Marvel's a military hero. Fantastic Four were always superheroes to begin with. Punisher's a pissed of former military guy... so is Nick Savage.

:: I don't. See looks like what my cat vomits out when he has eaten to much flowers. Matter of taste, so undebatable, I'm afraid.

oh,... Carrie-Anne Moss...
http://whatisthematrix.warnerbros.com/cmp/carrie.html

I was thinking of... Kate Moss
http://www.starpulse.com/Supermodels/Moss,_Kate/

Carrie-Anne Moss is still freakn' smokin'. Why else would the anomally fall in love with Trinity... because she's freak'n hot.

Hell Kate Moss is hot, too...

JoS
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-08 22:53:39 Reply

Japanese sperm counts
Finnish sperm counts

Good enough for you?


Bellum omnium contra omnes

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-08 23:09:59 Reply

heineken is o-k for the price, and dogma was an awesome movie................


The one thing force produces is resistance.

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-09 13:47:14 Reply

At 1/8/04 08:59 PM, diazepim wrote:
At 1/8/04 03:05 AM, Veggiemeal wrote:
You are just confirming what I said: Only cheap superhero stories. How is daredevil similar to the hulk? Like it is with every marvel hero: An underdog who becomes a superhero although he would rather not be.
Not true at all... Spiderman may have been an underdog that became a superhero. Daredevil's a lawyer. Bruce Banner is a scientist. Thor's a God. Ironman is a scientist. Captain Marvel's a military hero. Fantastic Four were always superheroes to begin with. Punisher's a pissed of former military guy... so is Nick Savage.

Yes, Bruce Banner is indeed a scientist and so is Daredevil. But they are both underdogs like Peter Parker. They do not have great social lives and weren't big strong people before they had superpowers. Okay, so maybe they are not all underdogs, but still 90% of Marvel is superhero stories, and I don't like those. All hail the Sandman! (Dream of the Endless, not that weird superhero one)

Weeeee, I like conversations about comics! :-D

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-09 14:54:50 Reply

At 1/8/04 10:53 PM, RugbyMacDaddy wrote: Japanese sperm counts
Finnish sperm counts

Good enough for you?

Probably one of the reasons for reduced sperm counts is all the female hormone that is injected into meat.

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-09 16:02:37 Reply

Its not hormones in the meat, its beating the meat.


Bellum omnium contra omnes

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-10 06:16:01 Reply

At 1/8/04 10:53 PM, RugbyMacDaddy wrote: Japanese sperm counts
Finnish sperm counts

Good enough for you?

Does that mean you have to masterbate more or less?

Maybe Finnish and Japanese should cut back on masterbating since, they masterbate so much, they can't meet the demand of sperm: e.g. your gun is always empty because you keep shooting it... so maybe they should "load" up their gun before they shoot a load for the sperm count test.

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-01-19 20:59:48 Reply

Or maybe they shouldnt masterbate and waste precious semen.


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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 05:43:23 Reply

lol i could see it now random jizz stain searches, cops busting in, dogs sniffing peoples fingers for lingering orgasmic odors lol

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 05:54:46 Reply

Great, someone just HAD to do a topic search for masturbation and post in it, and now my precious topic is going to get spammed again until a mod decides to lock it... I hate having my topics locked, I'd rather they just fade to obscurity. Thanks asshole.

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 07:06:55 Reply

At 1/6/03 05:40 PM, ULTRAnamic wrote: Wtf is wrong with you masterbation is healthy and normal its natures way of keeping seamon fresh rarther than wet dreams.Its clears the mind and freshens the body no harmful effects come out of it so this is a load of bull.

Plus if you've got the right girlfriend, it can really turn her on as well!


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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 15:25:12 Reply

At 5/20/04 05:54 AM, Dr_Arbitrary wrote:

Thanks asshole.

anytime =)

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 15:28:37 Reply

masterbation is a way to learn to control your ogasms. for male to learn to stay hard longer and for females to actually learn to have an orgasm

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 16:39:13 Reply

I love sarcastic threads! Joy!

One fateful day, on January 6th, 2003, a man... no, a good doctor started this thread in hopes of warning the world of the terror of self-fornication. And it haunts him to this day. Let us put it to rest for now and end this 3rd chapter of this topic's life. Dr, this will never officially die. You have created the Freddy Krueger of threads.

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 20:32:04 Reply

At 5/20/04 03:28 PM, angelicbutterfly wrote: masterbation is a way to learn to control your ogasms. for male to learn to stay hard longer and for females to actually learn to have an orgasm

yeah, and if it were illegal, do u know how many middle aged fat star wars fans would be forced to complete their life's work illegally?

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 20:35:49 Reply

it's amazing how you put masterbation in the title of a topic and you get millions of replies

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 20:36:49 Reply

At 5/20/04 08:35 PM, mattpravda wrote: it's amazing how you put masterbation in the title of a topic and you get millions of replies

It's amazing that you're one of the fucktards that responded. >: (


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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 20:39:43 Reply

true dat, true dat . . .

It's because it's how I spend most of my life

GooieGreen
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 22:12:50 Reply

1) "Illegalize" sounds really stupid.

2) Lady Grace's Picture looks hot

3) they aren't going to stop people from spanking it. If they get too close, I'll play the "seperation of church and state" card

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Response to Illegalize Masturbation 2004-05-20 22:36:31 Reply

At 5/20/04 10:12 PM, MasterGooie wrote: 2) Lady Grace's Picture looks hot

Woh, what the hell?


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