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At 8/17/06 06:49 PM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote:

Of course I knew that my glorious campaign would hold strong and triumph against the passing of time. It's such an important issue that it is suprising that it hasn't allready been put into law. It's certainly the fault of the Pro-Masturbation Lobbyists. They have a huge amount of political power and it will take years to reverse their influence.

Surely, those soulless bastards are cackling the most evil cackles ever heard as they wank it off in the MacDonald's unisex restroom.
This calls for dire measures. Lando, fire up the zeppelin, we're moving out!

banning masturbation would be unconstitutional, its protected under the right to seek happiness

Why... IN THE FUCK... Would anyone even TRY to ban it? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Christ, are you some sort of hippy-treehuggin-faggit? Let me guess, you have no genitals? I knew it, must be it, can't pleasure yourself so you think it should be illegal. This shit is so fucking annoying man, lock this dumbass thread, it's like saying Sadam should be let out of jail and put back into power... IT'S FUCKING STUPID, AND AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. And so what if that guy brought up Hell and shit? Freedom of Postage :) Earlier someone was talking about molestation, what does molestation have to do with illegalizing masturbation?
Dumbass.

At 8/17/06 06:58 PM, bradford1 wrote: This thread is seriously becoming a waste of bandwidth. Lock it maybe?

I'd suggest that they ban anyone who suggests

At 8/17/06 08:14 PM, Durin413 wrote: banning masturbation would be unconstitutional, its protected under the right to seek happiness

I suppose you think that laws against murder, drug abuse, rape, incest and polygamy are unconstitutional also

At 8/17/06 09:01 PM, teh_God_Father wrote: Why... IN THE FUCK... Would anyone even TRY to ban it? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Christ, are you some sort of hippy-treehuggin-faggit? ... IT'S FUCKING STUPID, AND AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

YOU SIR, use your CAPITAL LETTERS way TOO FREAKING MUCH. So why don't you STOP letting JOKE THREADS annoy YOU so MUCH you CRAZY CRAZY .... PERSON! IT GETS REALLY FRIGGIN' ANOYYING, when people just KEEP HITTING CAPS LOCK like they have to make sure WE CAN SEE WHAT THEY typed. SO SHUT UP!

Seriously If I got a dollar for every time someone ignorantly posted "WTF is wrong with you do you have no balls. OMG OMG Its healthy. Dumbass" Please just stop! Say something we want to read, and not the same damn thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN!. I don't know Dr. Riot but he most likely has balls and is fully capable of using them. Maybe even more capable then the rest of y'all. So quite bitchin' and come up with something clever to say.

it's like saying Sadam should be let out of jail and put back into power... Dumbass.

Yeah. Those two concepts are exactly the same. You're a genious. Now never speak again, as it might just taint your hightened intelligence.

At 8/17/06 09:30 PM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote:
I suppose you think that laws against murder, drug abuse, rape, incest and polygamy are unconstitutional also

i personally dont think those are unconstitutional but polygamy is a bit of an odd one because i know most are usually arranged marriages but some of them actually work and none of the women or the guy have a problem with it now if you mean like one guy 10 women that wont work but ya know 2 women can work out in a way because one woman isnt being so stressed

WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

PENUS PLEASURE!

Lol, I'm actualy hoping that this thread stays alive because it's so damn funny. We could start holding anniversary celebrations for every year that goes by since this thread was started. Or maybe have some major celebration once it reaches it's 100th page. Just like with clock day. Keep it up, and it might even become a national holiday, Wankers Awareness Day!

I'll think about it around January. I'm sure that with the conjunction of the four year mark and a strategic marketing campaign focusing on bbs signiature pictures that some real attention will be made. I don't think it's a good idea to focus too much on the number of posts and pages, the idea is the most important part.

First off, thank you for seeing my higher IQ.
Now, for those of you who do believe that masturbation should be illegalized... You should atleast try to hold some sort of rally or petetion, until then simply shut the fuck up. There is no way, ever, that masturbation will be made illegal, just can not happen, no one would want to move to make that law. Why? I have yet to see any reason why it should be made illegal. Any good reason, that is. So, Carrot man, why should masturbation be illegal? I'd actually like to see why you think it should be.
Look, no Caps Lock, not like I really used it much in my earlier post.
Also, fuck off, bitch. You're gay if you want masturbation illegalized.

LOLOLOLOL YOU SIR ARE TEH HOMO! lol I can't tell if your being serius or not but this is a fuckin' joke tread made 3 years ago =O! LOL I love this...

At 8/18/06 07:25 PM, teh_God_Father wrote: Also, fuck off, bitch. You're gay if you want masturbation illegalized.

What a great argument you have there. Apparently you can't understand sarcasm (unless you're being sarcastic and then that would just be plain ironic! hahoo! Damn you irony!). It's too bad some people don't understand the concept of a joke thread.

And yeah, of course homosexuality and illegalizing masturbation have a direct link to each other, great job! Because um... yeah... that makes perfect sense. What an intelligent statement.

:can he detect the sarcasm

At 8/18/06 08:48 PM, D-Bibz wrote:

At 8/18/06 07:25 PM, teh_God_Father wrote: Also, fuck off, bitch. You're gay if you want masturbation illegalized.

What a great argument you have there. Apparently you can't understand sarcasm (unless you're being sarcastic and then that would just be plain ironic! hahoo! Damn you irony!). It's too bad some people don't understand the concept of a joke thread.

And yeah, of course homosexuality and illegalizing masturbation have a direct link to each other, great job! Because um... yeah... that makes perfect sense. What an intelligent statement.

LoL you owned him, but seriously maybe we juts want to say our minds. I mean, Most of the NGers have to masturbate cause most of us are nerds so we take it with our soul.now my peter griffen laugh*starts laughing*

can he detect the sarcasm

Why thank you good sir.

We must all come to admit that the bansihment of wanking has had it's darker past, but don't complain to me, Carrots in charge here. Let's try not to focus to much on the history though.

I just don't know why the fuck anybody cares if people masturbate. It's just insane to me. I just can't imagine why anyone wants to control peoples' lives. Nobody has any right to tell someone that they can't masturbate.

At 8/19/06 03:11 AM, Dime585 wrote: I just don't know why the fuck anybody cares if people masturbate. It's just insane to me. I just can't imagine why anyone wants to control peoples' lives. Nobody has any right to tell someone that they can't masturbate.

Der Fuhrer does.

Sieg Heil!

lol

Ha ha real fuckin funny.

lol itd be like big brother...and by the way how they going to enforce that? lol... spies to come watch when your taking your 'personal time'? thats just crazy. And i do believe the creator of this thread just gained himself some enemies...

By the way. it IS natural and everyone NORMAL does it...

Who is gunna catch you anyways!

At 8/19/06 10:31 AM, olskoolnintendo wrote: Who is gunna catch you anyways!

The more you ask, the more the government monitors your daily activities. And don't bother closing the blinds, those helicoptor pilots have heat vision.

At 8/19/06 11:57 AM, D-Bibz wrote: The more you ask, the more the government monitors your daily activities. And don't bother closing the blinds, those helicoptor pilots have heat vision.

They also have black lights that can detect semen on the rug!

At 8/19/06 01:38 PM, Pwnage_In_A_Can wrote: They also have black lights that can detect semen on the rug!

Yeah. But they'll have to wait 'til the DNA tests show who it belongs to. For all you know the innocent sap could've been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Better get the bleech.

The right to jerk off is a thing we call the first amendment, which is freedom of speech,religion,&being one's self.I personally think its a religion.The only right one.And its mine to.So fuck U ya damn nazi!

At 8/19/06 06:57 PM, yoshimickster wrote: The right to jerk off is a thing we call the first amendment, which is freedom of speech,religion,&being one's self.

Yeah, I'm sure that's what the founding fathers of America were thinking when they wrote the constitution, and I'm sure that's what the colonists fought and died for. "No masterbation without representation!"

:So fuck U ya damn nazi!

Nazi: n.

1. A member of the National Socialist German Workers' Party, founded in Germany in 1919 and brought to power in 1933 under Adolf Hitler.
2. often nazi An adherent or advocate of policies characteristic of Nazism; a fascist.

adj.

Of, relating to, controlled by, or typical of the National Socialist German Workers' Party.

Zomg, u r so smrt. :P

At 8/19/06 06:57 PM, yoshimickster wrote: The right to jerk off is a thing we call the first amendment.

You might derogatorally refer to the first amendment as "The right to jerk off," but patriots like myself think that the First Amendment protects important rights.
I'll list them for your convenience.
Protection from the establishment of a state religion.
Protection from prohibition of free excercise of one's religion.
Freedom of Speech
Freedom of Press
The right to assemble.
The right to petition the government for redress of grievances

Okay Carrot man, don't act like you know shit about rights when you're trying to say no one should have the right to masturbate. And nazi can be used in more ways than one.
Regardless of this being a joke, it really isn't now, is it? I mean, how fucking stupid does it sound to try and pass a law that states "No masturbating" or some such. A useless law, no one would inforce it, what are they gonna do... Post guards at your door? No, I doubt that, they can't even keep people from smoking pot, as we can see Carrot man here does.
I am going away from the BBS for a while, not like I've been here long, but it is really starting to piss me off, hippy-fags that want to make masturbation illegal... Plus I have work to do. So STFU already, fag.

I realize that enforcing the prohibition on masturbation would be very difficult, but surely you can see that a clampdown on masturbation aid would be incredibly beneficial.

you sir make me sick
and i for one are going to wank on your grave
-humph-

At 8/20/06 12:29 AM, teh_God_Father wrote: Regardless of this being a joke, it really isn't now, is it?

O rly? Didn't know you were in charge here.

I am going away from the BBS for a while, not like I've been here long, but it is really starting to piss me off, hippy-fags that want to make masturbation illegal... Plus I have work to do.

Bye.

*Wow. Hippy-fags. That's fresh*

At 8/20/06 09:30 AM, chalki wrote: you sir make me sick
and i for one are going to wank on your grave
-humph-

eww, necrophile.