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This is such a useless thread, no one has the money or power to enforce a law such as this. No one in the right mind would even try. Besides, anyone that CAN masturbate, DOES, except for the few that see it as 'Satanic' such as the creator of this thread seems to. Most likely he is unable to pleasure himself, due to a disease he received while having oral sex with one of his relatives, or he simply is a really ugly guy. Molestation has NOTHING to do with this, so why bring it up? Something you want to tell everyone? Hmmm? It is a FACT that masturbation is HEALTHY. Also, I bet you want to outlaw sex aswell? I mean, come now! We wouldn't want to be able to have sex now would we? No! that would be hateful, against the law, and if we did that MUST mean we worship Satan!! :o

Also to those who brought in the NAMBLA, we said a REPUTABLE organization. And even if you do think Nambla is reputable, their study is still tossed out th window beacuse it is biased. You do know what nambla stnads for, right?

At 8/16/06 08:06 AM, teh_God_Father wrote: This is such a useless thread, no one has the money or power to enforce a law such as this. No one in the right mind would even try.

They tried to illegalize alchohol, and they are trying to keep recreational drugs illegal. The Government definitely has the money and power to attempt enforcment and such a precedent surely demonstrates that it is irrelevant whether or not the government is right in the head.

At 8/16/06 10:44 AM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote: They tried to illegalize alchohol, and they are trying to keep recreational drugs illegal. The Government definitely has the money and power to attempt enforcment and such a precedent surely demonstrates that it is irrelevant whether or not the government is right in the head.

Of course. Never mind those poor millions of starving orphans with crippled legs that have been infected with the mutant bird flu aids ebola small pox virus and live in Sudan, we can just put all of our money towards the more worthy cause of banning wanking. Just pull all of the money out of the health program, take our millitary forces and create the NMMUSF Team (No more masterbation you stupid *&%$). We could have choppers armed with rocket launchers and armored cars roming the streets and those little itty bitty spider things from minority report. Great idea Dr. Riot (Hey, he's a fricken' doctor)!

if that happened D. Riot would start a riot, that coverd 75 percent of the planet.

That idea is a damn piece of shit it would make teenagers socail health fall to the ground and that would be a really really really bad thing.

Heh, in vietnam or north korea or somplace there, you can be beheaded for being caught masturbating.. BEHEADED!

thats what a lock is for.

At 8/16/06 01:36 PM, goldenticket wrote: Heh, in vietnam or north korea or somplace there, you can be beheaded for being caught masturbating.. BEHEADED!

I think that's Indonesia. One of my friends has this book with all of these weird loose-loose questions that also includes facts. Needless to say, one of those questions was about wanking. Whoever passed that law is a psychopath.

At 8/16/06 01:36 PM, goldenticket wrote: Heh, in vietnam or north korea or somplace there, you can be beheaded for being caught masturbating.. BEHEADED!

And that's why they're all 3rd world countries.

At 8/16/06 01:36 PM, goldenticket wrote: Heh, in vietnam or north korea or somplace there, you can be beheaded for being caught masturbating.. BEHEADED!

That's not what I'd chop off...

At 8/16/06 10:44 AM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote:

At 8/16/06 08:06 AM, teh_God_Father wrote: This is such a useless thread, no one has the money or power to enforce a law such as this. No one in the right mind would even try.

They tried to illegalize alchohol, and they are trying to keep recreational drugs illegal. The Government definitely has the money and power to attempt enforcment and such a precedent surely demonstrates that it is irrelevant whether or not the government is right in the head.

Tried, and trying. But HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO. They can't illegalize shit, not unless people decide to STOP doing it, and I very highly doubt people will. They haven't stopped the use of drugs, murder, rape, etc... They just don't have the power.

At 8/16/06 07:10 PM, Athlas wrote: That's not what I'd chop off...

lol, the second head?

At 8/16/06 07:10 PM, Athlas wrote: That's not what I'd chop off...

Their hands fool. But I know that's not what you ment you crazy $%$#!

At 1/6/03 11:44 AM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote: stuff

Thta the first post, look at the damn date!

i.e. stop bumping this thread

At 8/16/06 10:16 PM, Orcinator wrote:

At 1/6/03 11:44 AM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote: stuff

Thta the first post, look at the damn date!

i.e. stop bumping this thread

lol well hes kept it going for a long time....... too long

At 8/16/06 10:19 PM, Vrael wrote:

At 8/16/06 10:16 PM, Orcinator wrote:

At 1/6/03 11:44 AM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote: stuff

Thta the first post, look at the damn date!

i.e. stop bumping this thread

lol well hes kept it going for a long time....... too long

Almost as long as my...

COMPUTER MONITOR! (diagonaly of course).

Apparently, lots of people feel they need to say the same things over and over again.

Like I said, lots of people feel they need to say the same things over and over again.

this topic wont die because to many idiots want to make sure that everyone knows they have a right to burp the worm.

Try to absorb as much radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile.

At 8/16/06 11:55 PM, D-Bibz wrote: Apparently, lots of people feel they need to say the same things over and over again.

Like I said, lots of people feel they need to say the same things over and over again.

yeah, i know. it sounds like a broken record. i don't know if i want to fix it or break it some more.

It would sound stupid if pleasuring yourself was illigal.

At 8/17/06 12:16 PM, _ashley_ wrote: It would sound stupid if pleasuring yourself was illigal.

No kidding. I think this entire thread sounds pretty stupid too. Like yoyomike said, it's a broken record. For the love of god Dr. Riot started this thread years ago. Clearly, he had no idea that this abomination would live so long. But of course, it's obvious that he was serious and this isn't a joke.

Jail time for possession of 2 pounds of masturbation paraphenilia and a $150,000, yeah that's definatly some serious planning there.

Better start burnin' those boxes.

The penalty for masturbation should be being filmed on network tv doing it, than a cold shower then having something cut off (like a little finger). Is that what it is called a little finger, I mean isn't there a more scientific word for it?

Masturbation is healthy!

You don't go to hell for masturbation because it simply dosen't exist!

Masturbation is not genocide, sperm cells are not people!

Damn, I hate christians!

At 8/17/06 03:07 PM, TheSovereign wrote: Masturbation is healthy!

You don't go to hell for masturbation because it simply dosen't exist!

Masturbation is not genocide, sperm cells are not people!

Damn, I hate christians!

Wow. That's one of the worst posts I've seen on this thread, and that's really saying something. This isn't a topic about wether hell exists or not! Nor is it about wether you like christianity or not. No one asked, no one cares. If you read the very first post dated on 2003 (zOtS!) you'd see that the topic starter said nothing about hell or christians.

At 8/17/06 02:39 PM, D-Bibz wrote: No kidding. I think this entire thread sounds pretty stupid too. Like yoyomike said, it's a broken record. For the love of god Dr. Riot started this thread years ago. Clearly, he had no idea that this abomination would live so long. But of course, it's obvious that he was serious and this isn't a joke.

Of course I knew that my glorious campaign would hold strong and triumph against the passing of time. It's such an important issue that it is suprising that it hasn't allready been put into law. It's certainly the fault of the Pro-Masturbation Lobbyists. They have a huge amount of political power and it will take years to reverse their influence.

One day, masturbation shall be banned,
and men will stop looking to themselves for gratification.

Women who want the men in their lives to abandon this shameful and twisted behavior should
become adept at being skilled love-makers.

This thread is seriously becoming a waste of bandwidth. Lock it maybe?

Oh, and as for my opinion, I think masturbation should be banned too. Not that it would make too much of a diff........EVERYBODY GETS LAID INSTEAD!!! A GRASSROOTS MOVEMENT WORTHY OF ATTENTION!

At 8/17/06 06:49 PM, A_Carrot_By_Dr_Riot wrote:

Of course I knew that my glorious campaign would hold strong and triumph against the passing of time. It's such an important issue that it is suprising that it hasn't allready been put into law. It's certainly the fault of the Pro-Masturbation Lobbyists. They have a huge amount of political power and it will take years to reverse their influence.

you know this will never happen i take this thread as a complete joke i say carrot is just mad for some sexually frustrating reason and he needs counselling