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AS: Concepts and Corrosion.

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Johnny
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AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 06:39 PM Reply

AS: MAIN. My anti-drug.

Alright, it's time to go over "Concepts and Corrosion" of games. Let me explain in detail what each one is before we move along.

Concept:

A "Concept" is your basic idea for a game. Games generally spawn from simple ideas such as "Some stupid thing that looks like a yellow pizza, dropping pills so he can get high and eat the ghosts" to "Italian plumber who is hard up for some sex trying to fight dinosaurs and mushrooms in an acid induced dreamland in an attempt to find a princess he thinks he'll score with."

With a simple concept like one listed above, you can form the building blocks of an actual game franchise. If it's properly implemented, of course. Concepts are only part one of making a truly awesome and memorable game. The second step, implementing it is much more difficult... especially when coupled with:

Corrosion:

So, you have everything planned out. Your notebooks and desktop are overflowing with flowcharts, logic lines and snippets of codes and partially completed functions. Everything looks like an Arial view of a giant labyrinth, flooded with deadly "if" statements. Awesome, you're on the right path! You have a guy moving left, and right and jumping! Holy hell! He's jumping! Corrosion is when all of that goes wrong... and how to fix it.

Your code is correct!

if(Key.isDown(Key.RIGHT)){ _x += _root.hero.speed; gotoAndPlay(2)}
if(Key.isDown(Key.LEFT)){ _y -= _root.hero.speed; _xscale = -100}
if(Key.isDown(Key.SPACE)){_root.jumping();
}

Only one problem. He keeps bouncing. The little bastard just bounces if you hold down the space bar. Alright, no big deal. We can get through this.

First, research Key listeners for about 2 days. Check everywhere. Newgrounds, actionscript.org, flashkit.com even google. Once you find something for key listeners, try and implement that into your code by simply cutting and pasting it. There's plenty of time to learn that later, for now, just get the game working.

You plug it in, and it doesn't work. It's time to write a thread on NG asking for help. First, try not to sound like a complete tool. Things such as:

"OMFG!! my C0de izn Wokin!" followed by pressing submit, will not help you accomplish your goal of game creation dominence. Typing like that, and not showing examples of what you have so far will definitely get you flamed. If you try and back up the flames with:

"hehaha duMbaas, you spelt itenger Rong!" You will most surely be ignored for eternity and people who code and do voodoo on the side will cast hexes on you and give you AIDs.

After asking the question like a reasonable human being, someone replies to you and helps you out. Sweet! Make sure you fix the code, once again by cutting and pasting, because you're ABSOLUTELY sure to not run into problems by doing it that way. Who cares that the Key.isDown had an "!" in front of it. Figure out what it does later.

((Part II coming up in a minute, as soon as I can repost))


Perpetually looking for time to return to the arts.

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Johnny
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 06:41 PM Reply

AS: Concepts and Corrosion.

Part II

Two days later and you're stuck again. Your hitTests aren't working against enemies. You're superior planning definitely isn't flawed. You've made sure to put the invisible hitTest clip, inside the bullet clip, inside the shell clip, inside the ammo clip, inside frame 7 of the gun clip, which is inside the hero.arm clip, inside the hero.body clip, inside the hero.clip. Why aren't your hitTests working??? You've tried...

if(this.hitTest(_root.LoLhero.heroBody.Big
AssheroArm.thisisagunMC.ammo.HolycrapAshel
l.OmFGbullet.invisihittest){ enemy.dead = true }

and it doesn't work! First make sure to stare blindly at it for at least 3 days; checking instance names, making sure all the clips are where they should be, running a for loop to loop through all of the bullets. Make sure you've tried freaking everything! By this point, your eyes should be bloodshot and you shouldn't have eating in 2 days. What can you do? Oh yeah! Ask for help on the BBS.

Since you can't type out your entire code, some flash guru tells you email you the .fla. Within 2 minutes, the .fla is returned to you with the message:

"You never declared what should happen if enemy.dead = true."

Grit your teeth so hard that it feels like your lower jaw will break off. This helps sometimes. Get up, grab a cup of coffee. Go smoke a cigarette or do some drugs. If you don't do any of that, eat some fudge. Everyone loves fudge. This will help calm the nerves.

Okay. Everything is working. Your game is finished. Time to add in a preloader and intro screen. Make some new scenes that go before your current code and spend about 4 days designing a preloader. Test the movie.

Nothing happens after the intro screen. Your dude is there... but nothing works or moves. Wtf!? This is where you lose it. Get in your car, and disable the airbags. Take your seatbelt off. If you don't own a car, steal one. It doesn't matter at this point. Drive really fast and find a bridge. Drive yourself off of it.

If you can't get your code to work, you have no chance at succeeding at killing yourself. The car misses the bridge, takes out 3 cop cars and a dude in a wheelchair. You're ejected on impact and fly out of site, landing safely in some laundry.

So, walk your mangled ass back to your house and to your computer and figure out the problem. Research onLoad = function() since that seems to be where the problem lies. Hmmm, one of those 15 books that you spent a total of $300.00 on says that onLoad must lie on the first frame of the first scene. You have two scenes before it. Problem. Punch yourself in the face with one of the books. It'll help. Trust me.

You're stuck now... again. What to do? Oh shit! Right! Make a topic on the BBS! Someone replies with something about a container clip. Wtf is a container clip? Google, here we come! 5 days of browsing google and finding out how to make a container clip, make sure everything is in place.

All of your variables are in the clip's "onClipEvent(load)." All of the action works fine. The preloader works. The intro works. The game over screen with a link to a website you'll probably never freaking finish works! All is in place. It's time to submit.

"Sorry, submissions must be less than 5mbs"

I've found that doing a line of coke helps at this point. Not into drugs. Remember, everyone loves fudge. Don't comb your hair or clean your cloths anymore. When you go to the diner and that waitress asks you if you'd like coffee, respond..

if(coffee){
my.caffiene++
}else{
murderOfEveryoneInTheDiner = true
}

only talk in code from here on out. It'll help you practice. If you drop something, or say something mean to someone... simply mutter "Edit>undo" or do the Control+Z motion with your hands... and all will be fine.

Then research compression. Delete bells and whistles. Get that puppy under 5 megs at any cost. Make sure you destroy some of your code and are forced to rewrite it 3-4 more times while modifying your game. Take up talking to yourself in public as a hobby. Chicks dig that.

Finally submit your game and stare in anticipation as it passes judgment. This is 2 months of your life. This is the reason you broke up with your girlfriend. This is the reason you quit school and quit your job. This is the reason you're parked out in front of a bank, stealing their wireless connection because you couldn't afford to pay for yours anymore. It's at the bottom of the judgment list.... holy crap... anytime now. You've waited until now to cast your vote.

Fiven!!

The screen comes up... "You have been the deciding vote in blamming this submission."

Be sure to rip all of your hair out here. ALL of it. Run around your neighborhood, screaming. "I am the blam king!" wearing nothing but a towel as a cape. If you can do this at 3am, it's more effective. Winter = the best. When the cops are called, reached behind your back and scream "I got a gun mother fuckers!!!" and pull out a finger shaped like a gun. Endure the hail of bullets with glee. Holy crap. The cops are 1337. Their hitTests are working.

Black out and dream of fudge. It helps. Trust me.

(I know it's not a real tute, but damnit... AS: Main needed some humor and I was horribly bored. =p )


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authorblues
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 06:42 PM Reply

At 1/23/06 06:41 PM, Johnny_Krysys wrote: (I know it's not a real tute, but damnit... AS: Main needed some humor and I was horribly bored. =p )

thats no excuse, and youre correct. this is not a real tut.
just because i put AS in front of my topic title does NOT make it valid.


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Denvish
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 06:46 PM Reply

At 1/23/06 06:42 PM, authorblues wrote:
At 1/23/06 06:41 PM, Johnny_Krysys wrote: (I know it's not a real tute, but damnit... AS: Main needed some humor and I was horribly bored. =p )
thats no excuse, and youre correct. this is not a real tut.
just because i put AS in front of my topic title does NOT make it valid.

............but it's fucking hilarious.........


- - Flash - Music - Images - -

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 06:51 PM Reply

At 1/23/06 06:41 PM, Johnny_Krysys wrote: Endure the hail of bullets with glee. Holy crap.
The cops are 1337. Their hitTests are working.

okay, so now that ive read part 2, i have to say that i found the one possibly redeeming line. fuck you for being funny. this is the internets, and its serious business around here.


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BleeBlap
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 06:54 PM Reply

Damnit, I've been doing it all wrong the whole time. No wonder I've never actually submitted anything to NG! Okay, so I guess the first step is to go eat 6 pounds of fudge for all of the time I've missed. It seems I might be a little advanced for a Concepts and Corrosion n00b because I already talk to myself in public and there was that time I ran over the guy in a wheelchair with a stolen car ...

different
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 06:57 PM Reply

At 1/23/06 06:46 PM, Denvish wrote: ............but it's fucking hilarious.........

I'm with Denvish. Great stuff! :-)


> twitter.

Sekky
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 07:58 PM Reply

I give this a pass, how long did you spend writing this? It's great

Johnny
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 07:59 PM Reply

Den, just put it under...

New to AS: Main? Read this.

=p

If I get horribly bored, I may telepathically force you to add a humor/rant section. The force is strong in me.


Perpetually looking for time to return to the arts.

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Johnny
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 23rd, 2006 @ 08:00 PM Reply

At 1/23/06 07:58 PM, Sekky wrote: I give this a pass, how long did you spend writing this? It's great

15 minutes? 25 minutes maybe? Tops.


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Rantzien
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 03:15 AM Reply

Krysys ftw.


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jmtb02
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 03:40 AM Reply

This should be the beginning of an entire fake AS: Main, by which a compilation of hilariously wrong tutorials will be listed. It should be done, because this was incredibly funny. Well done!


Hi there!

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Vengeance
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 03:48 AM Reply

rofl you just made my day, thank's for the tip's, i'll be sure to put them to use with my next game.


========|| WWWWWWWW>[-[Blog] - [Audio] - [Userpage] - [Flash] - [Last.fm]-]<WWWWWWWW ||========

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 04:11 AM Reply

omg i was gonna make a AS: Main topic about this lol

Ssilver7
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 06:12 AM Reply

Congrats, you made me smile.

Why you ask, because you nearly described me when I was getting into AS. Ask BleeBlap (different too), from the fla I sent him he'd be able to tell you I was shit. Still am (not as much), but I have decided to stick to my graphics for a while.

Though, one thing I never did was make a thread on NG, everything I learnt was from lurking and gotoAndPlay.


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Johnny
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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 01:58 PM Reply

Yeah. I know I have, and I'm sure many others have been in that place somewhere in their coding life.

The thing with the bouncing dude and the key listeners is almost an entirely true story.


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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 02:09 PM Reply

Lol =D
Nice tutorial, taught me a lot.


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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 02:18 PM Reply

At 1/24/06 03:40 AM, jmtb02 wrote: This should be the beginning of an entire fake AS: Main, by which a compilation of hilariously wrong tutorials will be listed. It should be done, because this was incredibly funny. Well done!

i could actually go for this. have a bunch of tutorials that describe every topic incorrectly, and we could link people to it when they are completely hopeless cases. im sure that is considered wrong, but it would be fun to watch the torture that is sure to follow.


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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 02:20 PM Reply

That was a fucking rant. But it was entertaining nonetheless.

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 02:31 PM Reply

At 1/24/06 02:18 PM, authorblues wrote:

:i could actually go for this. have a bunch of tutorials that describe every topic incorrectly, and we could link people to it when they are completely hopeless cases. im sure that is considered wrong, but it would be fun to watch the torture that is sure to follow.

Oh, so you're in now? Lol. Yeah, that is hardcore borderline "wrong" but goddamned amusing nonetheless. I wonder if the powers that be (Mods) would be opposed to us using that for people that are out of line.

You know, those little bastards you try to help... but want everything handed to them? People that are sincere = AS: Main.
People that are idiots = AS: HahaN00bBuyAbook.


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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 04:00 PM Reply

*bump* rofl, genius idea.


========|| WWWWWWWW>[-[Blog] - [Audio] - [Userpage] - [Flash] - [Last.fm]-]<WWWWWWWW ||========

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Jan. 24th, 2006 @ 05:04 PM Reply

i say we give them working codes, but ones using the most complex, unessecary, incredibly cunfuzzling syntax we can think of. telling them to make an array of the cosine and sine of every number from 1 to 360 instead of math functions. something crazy like that.

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:01 PM Reply

At 1/23/06 06:41 PM, Johnny_Krysys wrote: When you go to the diner and that waitress asks you if you'd like coffee, respond..

if(coffee){
my.caffiene++
}else{
murderOfEveryoneInTheDiner = true
}

You never declared what should happen if murderOfEveryoneInTheDiner = true

Take up talking to yourself in public as a hobby. Chicks dig that.
I've found that doing a line of coke helps at this point.

i just finally read this. i dont know why i waited this long, its was great

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:06 PM Reply

At 3/29/06 05:01 PM, ImpotentBoy2 wrote: i just finally read this. i dont know why i waited this long, its was great

haha, me to! I dont know how I didnt see this earlier!


The water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughta.

| AS3: Main | AS2: Main | Flash Tutorials |

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:11 PM Reply

At 1/24/06 02:31 PM, Johnny_Krysys wrote: AS: HahaN00bBuyAbook.

i hereby propose the creation of AS: Maine or AS: Mane
let the yays or nays now follow forthwith...


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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:13 PM Reply

At 3/29/06 05:11 PM, authorblues wrote:
At 1/24/06 02:31 PM, Johnny_Krysys wrote: AS: HahaN00bBuyAbook.
i hereby propose the creation of AS: Maine or AS: Mane
let the yays or nays now follow forthwith...

AS: Mane ftw.


SLEEPING IS MY 9 TO 5

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:14 PM Reply

At 3/29/06 05:13 PM, Kirk_Cocaine wrote: AS: Mane ftw.

i vote AS: Maine. like the US state...


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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:18 PM Reply

At 3/29/06 05:14 PM, authorblues wrote:
At 3/29/06 05:13 PM, Kirk_Cocaine wrote: AS: Mane ftw.
i vote AS: Maine. like the US state...

Whatever...

AS: Concepts and Corrosion.


SLEEPING IS MY 9 TO 5

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:19 PM Reply

Life, in a tutorial. I love it :D


Earcake. ...cake for your ears.

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Response to AS: Concepts and Corrosion. Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 05:20 PM Reply

At 1/23/06 06:41 PM, Johnny_Krysys wrote: AS: Concepts and Corrosion.
only talk in code from here on out. It'll help you practice. If you drop something, or say something mean to someone... simply mutter "Edit>undo" or do the Control+Z motion with your hands

LOL, the scary thing is that in the past ive actually done this, untill about 5 seconds later when i realise life isnt a computer, and you cant undo stuff. LOL

gr8 tute ti helied LoTs !!!!111!!one!!