The Father

[strong-rice]

I have been living with this shit since i was 7 years old and now im 21. It all started when my mother married a faggot for a man known as my fucking father. He has always been an asshole by nature. He is sadistic and always does things to torture people mentally. His fucked up habits cause me and my mother alot of misery and he has never accepted responsibility for anything he has done. His idea that men are superior then women is the worst shit i ever heard.

If only the constraints of law and religion were not there i swear i would fucking kill him and throw his head inside my toilet and flush it down. The son of a bitch finally showed his true colors and divorced my mother after 22 years of marriage. I swear i have never met a more stubborn or fucked up person in my entire life who refuses to change his habits and is adament on destroying our family life.

Today he crossed the line. I fucking warned him to stay away from this and yet he was so passionate about going ahead with this disaster. I am possibly in the worst ever situation in my entire life. I have no clue what im supposed to do with him. I have so much anger and hatred for him that im about to explode.

Call it what you want but i had some feelings and dreams about how a family should be and that father is someone that i should look upto. He does not deserve to be called a human being. I wish he would fucking die a horrible and slow death. This may sound a little extreme but come into my shoes. You begin your life in a household dominated by men and see that your mother is suffering and being mistreated.

I am a muslim and unlike other religions, if the man divorces its forever. There is a very painful and near impossible process to reunite the two again and its not fair for my mother. I come from a society which is so backwards and their mentaility and traditions are the reasons why im here today. The whole fucking concept of arrange marriage is what caused these two incompatible individuals to be married and i blame my fucking grandparents.

I dont know if anyone else has gone through this situation. I just want to hear from you guys about what should i do with him. I have dedicated my entire life up till now in trying to counsel my fucking father. Sitting with him and teaching him like he is a 5 year old kid about life and how he should behave within a family. I spent countless nights and days while ignoring my education and social life just so i can do something to prevent the inevitable and yet i failed. My 15 year struggle is gone to waste and it feels like im in hell.

[VirginLungs]

wah,wah,wah

suck it up.

[Taors]

Why didn't you beat his old ass?

[iangb]

...unlucky. You have my sympathy, for what it's worth.

I'd say, just ignore him now. Concentrate on getting your and your mothers lives going again. Make it clear that you want nothing to do with him. Good riddance.

Let me guess...

He didn't buy you that Linkin Park CD you really, really wanted.

[Catoblepas]

Forget about him and get on with your life. Beat a wall or a punching bag, or his head against a wall with a punching bag.

[MisterFeelGood]

I admire the way you tried to make it better and it seems like you've wased loads of patience on the man... I don't know what to advise you... You probably need some professional help, someone who you can tell your story to and helps you to get over it and ease the pain and hatred. If you'll keep your hate it can fuck you up for the rest of your life too... A father (along with your mother) is the most important person in the development of the first years... Your image of what a father should be like is probably distorted and you need to get that right... it's a long process, but you won't fall into the same mistakes your father made... I wish you strength and good luck!!!

[TheMaster]

Go cry in the corner.

[decaf]

um, ill pray for you. maybe.

[ArabFreak]

Omak thom Omak thom Omak thom Abook.

[strong-rice]

At 1/14/06 11:58 AM, MrFeelGood_85 wrote: I admire the way you tried to make it better and it seems like you've wased loads of patience on the man... I don't know what to advise you... You probably need some professional help, someone who you can tell your story to and helps you to get over it and ease the pain and hatred. If you'll keep your hate it can fuck you up for the rest of your life too... A father (along with your mother) is the most important person in the development of the first years... Your image of what a father should be like is probably distorted and you need to get that right... it's a long process, but you won't fall into the same mistakes your father made... I wish you strength and good luck!!!

Appreciate your support. Yes i need luck and lots of it. I have always tried my best to be different from him and his mistakes are literally engraved in my memories so i can never walk the same path as he did. The thing his father did the same thing and he is simply following in his footsteps to make him 'proud'. He and his father are both culprits in this situation. I am also a man and i dont see why someone would hate a person like my mother who is always been humble and never bothered anyone.

He is simply selfish and now that he has a few pennies in his pockets he wants to renew his youth and marry another younger woman to satisfy his needs. Tell me how fucking selfish is that? Why he give birth to me and my siblings if he was never serious to continue this relationship. This is not a game where i will press the reset button. This is real life.

[ArabFreak]

At 1/14/06 12:05 PM, strong_rice wrote: He is simply selfish and now that he has a few pennies in his pockets he wants to renew his youth and marry another younger woman to satisfy his needs. Tell me how fucking selfish is that? Why he give birth to me and my siblings if he was never serious to continue this relationship. This is not a game where i will press the reset button. This is real life.

Then shut him out of your life. Prove that you're better off without him. When he sees that, he'll regret treating you and your family badly.

[MisterFeelGood]

At 1/14/06 12:15 PM, arab_freak wrote:

At 1/14/06 12:05 PM, strong_rice wrote: He is simply selfish and now that he has a few pennies in his pockets he wants to renew his youth and marry another younger woman to satisfy his needs. Tell me how fucking selfish is that? Why he give birth to me and my siblings if he was never serious to continue this relationship. This is not a game where i will press the reset button. This is real life.

You're absolutely right, but it's the weirdest thing that even if you don't want it you somehow earn the the characteristics of your father and it's hard to be so determined to change it. You should try it and if you are determined I'm sure you will succeed in making your own life much better and treating others (and most important your future wife and kids) the way you always wanted to be treathed.

Then shut him out of your life. Prove that you're better off without him. When he sees that, he'll regret treating you and your family badly.

The way I see it it should not be about making his father regret it, but in the first place about how to handle the situation for himself. If he should try to prove he's better of without his father he's still bounded to him in some kinda way. But I agree it's probably better to cut off the connection and try to get past it. That's gonna be really hard...

[ZeroAsALimit]

You have not wasted your time. Some people can't be reached, and it is not your fault.

There isn't really anything I can say to make you feel better, and I wish there was.

I hope your mother finds someone who will treat her with the respect that a woman deserves, and who can give you the father figure that you need.

[evilpenguinlady]

i go thru the same thing, only mine is drunk and has no manners. i work with mentally challenged kids at my school and when i had some over for dinner her made cracks about the special oympics, which these kids are apart of. i grew up wishing i had someone elses father. i leave for college in a few few monthes so my liltle sister is left to put up with his crap. all he does is belittle and critize. doesn't matter what you believe, you should never have to grow up in an abusive situation. i probably will resent him for the rest of my life, i hate him now and i will never forgive him for the shit i have had to put up with.

[evilpenguinlady]

keep on going, we're in this boat together

[Nightmaric]

He's the reason you're alive.

[ZeroAsALimit]

At 1/14/06 01:04 PM, Nightmaric wrote: He's the reason you're alive.

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my grandfather.

My grandfather was an abusive drunk, who would regularly beat my grandmother and my mother.

If I ever met him, I don't think I could ever like him.

[Morextremist]

shoot him in the head.

[strong-rice]

Thanks to everyone for their postive and encouraging comments.