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Posted at: 1/2/06 07:11 PM
Sign-Up: 10/30/05
Posts: 1,937
Here are the worst excuses for coming home from somewhere late:
10. You have no excuse. 9. The car wouldn't start. 8. Our house sucks. 7. I was hangin out with that slutty girl. 6. I was hangin out with that slutty girl and we needed to find a place to buy a condom. 5. There wasn't much weed left. 4. Masturbating. 3. Someone tried to kill me with a butterknife. 2. I was abducted by aliens. 1. I was on the internet at my friend's house.
Say any others you can think of.
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:12 PM
Sign-Up: 01/28/05
Posts: 744
When you are in your room with your girlfriend and your parents call upstairs "what are you guys doing"
And you say "Talking"
When really your having sex.
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:13 PM
Sign-Up: 04/11/05
Posts: 4,592
well a cop pulled me over for speeding, so i calmly explained to him that i was going to reach for a hit off of crack pipe drunk, when my illegally concealed handgun fell out of my belt. so the hooker that was sucking me off reached for it and pushed it under the brake on accident, slipped, and fell onto the gas pedal.
Some say that I'm strange. The rest just haven't met me. STORY WITH ROBOTS!!!!!!!! --=+tom!3!rulz+=-- Buddha Bomb, bitches. NG MAC FFS
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:15 PM
Sign-Up: 01/02/06
Posts: 35
nope that pretty much sums it all up =]
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:16 PM
Sign-Up: 12/14/03
Posts: 4,335
reading this post
Those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can. A bunch of really lame jokes..
Sign-Up: 08/18/05
Posts: 93
i was curing cancer
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:17 PM
Sign-Up: 11/25/04
Posts: 10,295
You sound like a really lame David Letterman.
Yeh. Yeh. ;_______;
Sign-Up: 10/19/05
Posts: 2,995
When the cops catch you fucking a dead chicken you say:
"Officer I thought the animal was alive when I starteed fucking it!"
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:18 PM
Sign-Up: 07/16/05
Posts: 1,333
my best excuse
i was at my friends house spamming on ng about chuck norris
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:20 PM
Sign-Up: 12/04/05
Posts: 2,314
At 1/2/06 07:16 PM, happygreenapples wrote: i was curing cancer
I was contracting cancer
now thats a good excuse
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:21 PM
Sign-Up: 10/02/04
Posts: 1,695
Huh... I used most of those.
:D
Sign-Up: 06/03/03
Posts: 10,880
"But I'm pregnant!"
Whiner.
DUH' FUH' LOL, DEVIANTART.
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:23 PM
Sign-Up: 10/11/03
Posts: 6,090
'My dog ate it' Clearly, the winner.
wait...
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:28 PM
Sign-Up: 11/26/03
Posts: 16,223
At 1/2/06 07:23 PM, M-A-R-C-U-S wrote: 'My dog ate it' Clearly, the winner. wait...
IN SOVIET RUS--*gets shot*
:|Help make icons!|:|Reason for ban - CENSORED|: THIS CAMPAIGN IS SIMPLE SHIT PEOPLE
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:39 PM
Sign-Up: 04/10/04
Posts: 3,679
My excuse: I was busy masturbating on my cat.
At 1/2/06 07:39 PM, Corey_the_Afro_Jew wrote: My excuse: I was busy masturbating on my cat.
I've gotten away with that one.
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:46 PM
Sign-Up: 08/30/05
Posts: 415
At 1/2/06 07:39 PM, Luxury_Yacht wrote: At 1/2/06 07:39 PM, Corey_the_Afro_Jew wrote: My excuse: I was busy masturbating on my cat.I've gotten away with that one.
lmao. lets see. a modified classic homework exuse: My dog masturbated on it.
and another one. an exuse for missing an exam: srry, sexual exaustion. Teachers response: you could have used the other hand.
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:47 PM
Sign-Up: 05/11/05
Posts: 456
At 1/2/06 07:11 PM, Pie_Eating_Pizza wrote: Here are the worst excuses for coming home from somewhere late: 10. You have no excuse. 9. The car wouldn't start. 8. Our house sucks. 7. I was hangin out with that slutty girl. 6. I was hangin out with that slutty girl and we needed to find a place to buy a condom. 5. There wasn't much weed left. 4. Masturbating. 3. Someone tried to kill me with a butterknife. 2. I was abducted by aliens. 1. I was on the internet at my friend's house. Say any others you can think of.
Buuutttt mmooommm....on the way home from Billy's house i was attacked by a whorde of miniture knomes. As i fled from them, i was brutally attacked by three gay peinguins. As i was reaching our exsit from the highway, my bicycle ran out of gas.
Music. Photography. Art. Passion.
Posted at: 1/2/06 07:55 PM
Sign-Up: 12/29/05
Posts: 1,136
At 1/2/06 07:46 PM, Unreal_Me wrote: and another one. an exuse for missing an exam: srry, sexual exaustion. Teachers response: you could have used the other hand.
You murdered that one. Great execution.
At 1/2/06 07:13 PM, tom3rulz wrote: well a cop pulled me over for speeding, so i calmly explained to him that i was going to reach for a hit off of crack pipe drunk, when my illegally concealed handgun fell out of my belt. so the hooker that was sucking me off reached for it and pushed it under the brake on accident, slipped, and fell onto the gas pedal.
You guys are rehashing well known internet jokes in a terrible, terrible way.
Posted at: 1/2/06 08:04 PM
Sign-Up: 02/11/03
Posts: 2,373
I was at a friends house worrying about getting in trouble for being late for 6 hours.
I like it.
Posted at: 1/2/06 08:08 PM
Sign-Up: 11/23/03
Posts: 425
Stumbles in, appearing to be dizzy
"Mom, I was home late because I was at my friends house on the NGBBS"
Posted at: 1/2/06 08:20 PM
If you think thats good, you gotta try Earfetish's excuses.
Posted at: 1/2/06 08:51 PM
Sign-Up: 01/01/06
Posts: 60
top ten excuses to miss school: 10:no exuse 9:forgot to go 8:got lost on way to school 7: got attacked by dogs 6:fat kid blocking path 5:abducted by alien homnids 4:diceded to go home and post on ng 3:forgot homework 2:car broke down and the best excuse to miss school is.... 1:wanted to stay home and be free and go on ng.
Posted at: 1/2/06 08:58 PM
Sign-Up: 10/11/04
Posts: 92
"Sorry I came home late mom. Some old lady cut me off at the stop sign, so in a fit of road rage I took my shotgun from under my seat, went to the window, blew her face off, set her car on fire, and then roundhouse kicked any witnesses in the face. I would say I won't do it again, but I couldn't make promises like that."
Posted at: 1/2/06 09:16 PM
Sign-Up: 07/15/05
Posts: 687
srry i'm late mom, but that slut would only fuck by the hour, not half hours
Posted at: 1/2/06 09:17 PM
Sign-Up: 12/31/05
Posts: 33
At 1/2/06 07:11 PM, Pie_Eating_Pizza wrote: Here are the worst excuses for coming home from somewhere late:
1:i am a homophobic parent who whines and bitches about their kids excuses all day
Posted at: 1/2/06 09:19 PM
Sign-Up: 08/06/05
Posts: 4,931
Maybe the worst is "Cause im going to die."
.. oh wait
wat
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