My First Villanelle

[Gaaz]

My English teacher was teaching us on how poems were constructed. Then he suddenly explains about a Villanelle. This Villanelle is like a poem, but it's the hardest type of poem to construct. It must have 19 lines and each line must have 10 sylabols. And must have an A B rhyming pattern.

Thus we were given this as homework and this is what i've come up with.

My pet fish swam in his prison-like bowl.
His gold scaly skin reflected the light;
Scurried the gravel looking for his soul.

He rippled the clear waters of his bowl
And swam through all the day and all the night.
My pet fish swam in his prison-like bowl.

And he gazed up into the open hole,
The thought of his prison filled him with fright.
Scurried the gravel looking for his soul.

Still swimming around his plastic made pole,
It was going to be a long, long night.
My pet fish swam in his prison-like bowl.

He longed for his freedom, this was his goal.
He gazed upon a hand meeting his sight;
Scurried the gravel looking for his soul

He was now going to play his final role.
The hand picked him up and he saw the light.
My pet fish swam in his prison-like bowl;
Scurried the gravel looking for his soul.

Please leave your comments, thankyou.

[DanPanic]

I like it :)

[EnglishPanda]

Nice work, but i think you should be a little less obsessive with your pet fish!

[TheBlackGhost]

I thought it was good, I'm glad I wasn't required to write one, I've always been pretty bad a poetry.

[Gunter45]

At 12/6/05 05:14 PM, EnglishPanda wrote: Nice work, but i think you should be a little less obsessive with your pet fish!

I think it's an allegory.

Very nice work, by the way, it has an excellent flow to it.

[Gaaz]

Wow, thanks guys.
I really appreciate the comments!

WOOT!

[orange-soda1]

good poem m8 :)

got some good comments from other ppl aswell.

well done :D