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The College Experience

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gumOnShoe
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The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:24 AM Reply

This here is the beginning of a guide I hope to establish to warn you that have not yet had the experience of college, or have yet to come accross one of these situations. I of course would appreciate any supplements anyone can and is willing to provide. Just post it on after this. Now to begin...

-------:: The Bathroom ::-------

- Always bring shower shoes. Always.
- You will find a variety of bodily fluids, hair and viruses/bacteria/mold on every surface. Therefor don't touch anything but yourself. Showering is like playing operation, if you touch the walls you lose. By losing I mean contracting some sort of disease or rash.
- People will masterbate anywhere they can.
- People will have sex anywhere they can.
- Drunk people can't aim
- If you notice an odd smell it is better to find a different bathroom to use
- Always carry an extra role of toilet paper.
- DON'T on any account drop the soap

----- Room Mates ------

- Your room mate will annoy you.
- Devise a system that will allow your room mate to know when you are "busy" (a rubberband on the door handle works)
- Learn to walk away without asking questions
- Don't let your room mate get bongos, or a base guitar (make that any instrument)
- If you should choose to bunk your beds, remember that when your room mate decides to have "visitors" they will not attempt to get on to the top bunk... therefore choose your bunk carefully
- Know your limitations, not everyone is into group masterbation or gay sex

------ The Food ------

- Before the end of the term you won't be able to taste anything anymore, nor will you care
- You can and will eat anything
- When it comes to lines people are assholes
- Be an asshole
- Don't touch the punch
- Food will rot if left unattended in a fridge for months at a time
- Fire alarms will go off if you burn popcorn, for that reason always have on pants

This message has been brought to you for your benifit, heed the warning

and add more to it

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HeartbreakHoldout
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:30 AM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:24 AM, gumOnShoe wrote: - When it comes to lines people are assholes
- Be an asshole

Lol, nice.
Ive got one, when first there, dont try and hold in your shit for a week. It just makes life extremely uncomfortable for you.
I've only ever been to a uni for a summer school thing, but i definately learned that.

EagleRock
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:30 AM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:24 AM, gumOnShoe wrote: This here is the beginning of a guide I hope to establish to warn you that have not yet had the experience of college, or have yet to come accross one of these situations. I of course would appreciate any supplements anyone can and is willing to provide. Just post it on after this. Now to begin...

-------:: The Courses ::-------

- There are usually at least two really good professors and two really bad professors in every department. Learn them simply by checking the different sections of every course. If you're a freshman and there are 3 sections of a course with only one open left, you have the bad professor.
- Pass/Fail is your friend. Use it prudently and wisely, like a super bomb in a sidescroller.
- At least one of your professors every semester will treat you like their class is the only one you're taking.
- The actual time you should study is whatever your professor says divided by 10.
- Many anthropology professors will do nothing but harass you if you believe in God.
- Make sure you have a case of beer ready after your last final, cause you're gonna need it.

Enjoy!


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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:32 AM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:24 AM, gumOnShoe wrote: This here is the beginning of a guide

im a junior at a private highschool, which is almost the exact same thing as college. i'll go through the guide anyway, since i've been living here for 3 years.


-------:: The Bathroom ::-------

- Always bring shower shoes. Always.

i wear sandals, b/c yea, people do that. my floor has 4 showers seperated by curtains and walls, but still a community floor. RAWR.

- People will masterbate anywhere they can.

=D

- People will have sex anywhere they can.

common room downstairs is always locked, and it's attached to the kitchen. because of it getting locked, people always come in my room to use my microwave >:(

- Drunk people can't aim

drunk people get kicked out here :D

----- Room Mates ------

- Your room mate will annoy you.

i've lived with the same roommate on the same floor in the same dorm for 2 years, this being the third. he does sometimes get annoying, but i can say that i've trusted him enough.

- Don't let your room mate get bongos, or a base guitar (make that any instrument)

i play guitar, and he attempted to, but he doesn't really play it. so im safe.

- If you should choose to bunk your beds, remember that when your room mate decides to have "visitors" they will not attempt to get on to the top bunk... therefore choose your bunk carefully

he's on one side, im on the other. plain and simple :)


------ The Food ------

- Before the end of the term you won't be able to taste anything anymore, nor will you care
- You can and will eat anything

yes, the dinner here isn't great, though lunch is good. i usually eat at the cafe though.

- When it comes to lines people are assholes

i got out of class early, and i waited in line 10, 20 minutes before it even opened. i was the only person for a while, but then when all the jocky kids came and acted dumb, i just left. will go in 20 minutes when everyone is gone...

- Be an asshole

i'm taking my part in that, since you get more respect as a junior or senior.

- Fire alarms will go off if you burn popcorn, for that reason always have on pants

a freshman burnt his popcorn TWICE in my microwave, almost set off the fire alarm. thankfully it didn't, but it has happened to other dorms.

This message has been brought to you for your benifit, heed the warning

and add more to it

if i could think of something to add, i would. but, alas, i don't want to think right now.


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Afro-Ninja
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:32 AM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:24 AM, gumOnShoe wrote: - DON'T on any account drop the soap

It's not like college bathrooms have community showers. At least none that I know of...


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gumOnShoe
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:36 AM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:32 AM, Afro_Ninja wrote:
At 11/4/05 11:24 AM, gumOnShoe wrote: - DON'T on any account drop the soap
It's not like college bathrooms have community showers. At least none that I know of...

...

yes well there are two meanings... the other would be what then gets on the soap...


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Morextremist
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:36 AM Reply

One of my friends got really drunk all the time, got in fights, failed all his classes, and is now back home even before his 1st semester ended. I say he compacted the college experience into about 8 weeks while the rest of you faggots take 4 years to work through it.

EagleRock
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:39 AM Reply

I normally don't double-post, but while I'm at it:

-------:: The Commuter Student ::-------

- Parking is bad in every single University.
- You will have to go to class early to get a parking spot. Depending on the time and the university, this buffer can be 20 minutes to an hour.
- If you are waiting for a spot and see students going out to the lot, offer them a ride to their car. Great way to secure a spot while avoiding the rest of the mainiacs.
- Get used to parking in a spot where both cars are over the line into the empty spot.
- Be prepared for people yelling at you if you take a spot, even if you were obviously there first.
- It is often worth it to join the SGA and get on the executive board just to get a faculty parking spot. See which positions in the SGA are granted faculty parking and target one. A lot of times noone is in the position.
- Sometimes you have to comprimise which lot you go to. If it is 9:38 and you are parking for your 9:30 class, just go to the far lot and run. At least you'll be out of breath and you can say you got stuck in traffic and ran as fast as you could here.
- Make a parking schedule for each day and determine the best time to park. Sometimes it's worth staying on campus for that 3-hour wait rather than fighting for a spot at 2PM when most students are on campus.


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VirginLungs
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:41 AM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:24 AM, gumOnShoe wrote:

-------:: The Bathroom ::-------

-
- People will masterbate anywhere they can.
- People will have sex anywhere they can.
-
- DON'T on any account drop the soap

----- Room Mates ------

- Your room mate will annoy you.
-
-
- Know your limitations, not everyone is into group masterbation or gay sex

------ The Food ------

-

What sort of run down,homosexual college did your parents send you to?!

gumOnShoe
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 11:45 AM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:41 AM, VirginLungs wrote: What sort of run down,homosexual college did your parents send you to?!

Just because I have talked about it doesn't mean it has happend to me... but that I have heard stories... (and seen some of it happen)


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gumOnShoe
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 12:37 PM Reply

Forgot one of the most important ones under food:

Ramen is your friend


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BMWM5Sedan
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 12:41 PM Reply

At 11/4/05 11:39 AM, EagleRock wrote: I normally don't double-post, but while I'm at it:

- Get used to parking in a spot where both cars are over the line into the empty spot.

Yeah, I have had to climb into my car through the passenger side door many times.

- Be prepared for people yelling at you if you take a spot, even if you were obviously there first.

That is true. Especially when you have to back in and out a couple of times to straighten your car.

gumOnShoe
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 01:00 PM Reply

http://www.4btv.com/

I suppose I should have given you video insites to my hall as well...

This is not from this year... but anyway... you shall see


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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 01:13 PM Reply

My college was way better than whatever you are describing. Granted, I'm living in one of the better residences. Its only 2 years old. Its suite style, so its 1 bathroom to 4 people. Hardly any drunken orgies. Roomate would blast his music, but I was used to it after living at home iwht my brother. Food in the cafeteria was actually good food. Bus pass is included with tuition, its only like $25 for the whole school year.

EagleRock
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Response to The College Experience Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 02:07 PM Reply

Here comes another!

-------:: The Class Registration ::-------

- If you are a freshman, make sure you have three separate schedules. You will NOT Get your first pick unless you are very lucky. If your school has web registration, check to see which classes are filled.
- The Master Schedule is your friend. However, expect it to be inaccurate as courses are often changed last-minute. Also, expect it to come out about one day before classes are actually offered.
- Get up early for registration day. Several hundred students will be already on the website at 7:59 waiting for their window to open in one minute. If you can, enter the numbers on the page already and keep clicking submit until your window opens.
- If your school has phone registration (and no web registration), be prepared for a LOT of fun!
- Discuss with students as to which professors are best. Don't register for a class unless you've checked up on the professor. Use www.ratemyprofessor.com for addional assistance.
- PLAN your degree out over the four years. GE's aren't hard, but make sure you talk to a senior in your degree or a good advisor as to what classes should be taken when. Don't fall in the trap of not having prerequisites or missing a class rotation schedule.


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