I shagged Dido

[MickTheChampion]

I was walking along the street listening to Europe's "The Final Countdown" on my...

SONY WALKMAN!

When coming out of the local Farmfoods I say Dido, the popstar. So I approached her and told her my feelings, I said;

- Dido, your music is very moving. Particularly your duet with Eminem...your voice in that song was so powerful...like a beacon of hope.

And as though this was the only compliment she had ever received, Dido's face started beaming. She smiled widely and with pride, showing her teeth. And then in her cute little accent she said;

- Take me to bed, you sexy thing.

Being polite and well mannered, I decided to take Dido to bed - I took her to the bottom bunk, as my younger brother sat in the top playing his...

NINTENDO DS

Dido instantly whipped her clothes off, revealing slightly sagging breasts and a fanny in need of a shave. She anticipated me underneath the ghostbusters bedsheets, I put on my condom - extra small sized, of course - and mounted her. Within three seconds of penetration I had blown my load, but I doubt Dido could've taken much more.

I then started beating her with an obscure black dildo that I seemed to have been keeping under my bed, of course she was enjoying this very much. Until she started bleeding, well - then she started shouting and sang me this beautiful song;

Your penetration can't affect me
I'm already dead
Maybe some day you'll realise
It's alllllllllllllllllll in your head

Well, then I decided it would be funny to try and bite her nipples off - to my horror I managed to bite one of them off, and her tit burst open. Well now she was running around to room crying and screaming and I tripped her up, and began rampantly frigging her with the leg of a chair.

- I've never been more turned on. She said

And began to squirt all over my;

BRAND NEW CARPET

I had really enjoyed our time together, but decided that it was time to end our fun...so I cut the inside of her mouth up with razorblades and made her eat salt - and then suck my penis.

Then we had a passionate orgy with 300 Viet Namese children, before singing "The Monster Mash" together, and doing the chicken dance.

[TheDoctor]

They did the mash!

[Obliquo]

lol good style of fake story there....

It was a good story though, should make it into a novel.

[cool-penguin-0]

This story needs more crunk.

[Ben]

I blame the conservative party and their current voting for a new leader.

[Mr-Pope]

I found that more moving than any of Dido's songs.

It touched me in a place i never new i had.

[Obliquo]

At 10/20/05 12:59 PM, -TheDoctor- wrote: They did the mash!

They did the monsta mash!

[JohnnyWang]

Liar.

they were Cambodian kids.

[miget777]

At 10/20/05 12:57 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote:

Well, then I decided it would be funny to try and bite her nipples off - to my horror I managed to bite one of them off, and her tit burst open. Well now she was running around to room crying and screaming and I tripped her up, and began rampantly frigging her with the leg of a chair.

ow dude ow imagine that getting ur nipple bitten off like in mad tv ow

[AapoJoki]

You complemented her for "Stan", but not her awesome co-work with Faithless?

You monster.

[MickTheChampion]

At 10/20/05 01:06 PM, Aapo_Joki wrote: You complemented her for "Stan", but not her awesome co-work with Faithless?

You monster.

I also didn't ask what she was doing in a Scottish Farmfoods!

MWAHAHAHA, HA.

[Ben]

At 10/20/05 01:07 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: I also didn't ask what she was doing in a Scottish Farmfoods!

MWAHAHAHA, HA.

She was on her way home from mine, after i fist fucked her repeatedly with knifes attached on the end of my knuckles.

[JohnnyWang]

At 10/20/05 01:07 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote:
I also didn't ask what she was doing in a Scottish Farmfoods!

MWAHAHAHA, HA.

You evil, evil person.

[Mr-Pope]

At 10/20/05 01:07 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote:

At 10/20/05 01:06 PM, Aapo_Joki wrote: You complemented her for "Stan", but not her awesome co-work with Faithless?

You monster.

I also didn't ask what she was doing in a Scottish Farmfoods!

MWAHAHAHA, HA.

Farmfoods? You mean the greatest shop of all time Farmfoods. The land of bargains Farmfoods?

[1]

Why Dido?

Surely there were more famous celebrity's in Farmfoods?

[MickTheChampion]

At 10/20/05 01:15 PM, 1 wrote: Why Dido?

Surely there were more famous celebrity's in Farmfoods?

I saw John Lesley, although he would have been too rough for my tastes.

[Fim]

My favourite part was the bit with the DS.

[1]

At 10/20/05 01:21 PM, Newground_Freak wrote: My favourite part was the bit with the DS.

Mine too. It was like an advert for Nintendo.

[CaptainPotato]

At 10/20/05 01:21 PM, Newground_Freak wrote: My favourite part was the bit with the DS.

Mine was the part with the magic leprechauns who all spontaniously combusted and then... wait, are we talking about the same fake-but-still coooooooooool story here?

[JoS]

Dammit, i was quickly scanning the topics and thought it said I shagged Dobio for some reason. Whats scarier is I clicked on a thread I thought was titled I shagged Dobio.

[JohnnyWang]

At 10/20/05 01:47 PM, JusticeofSarcasm wrote: Dammit, i was quickly scanning the topics and thought it said I shagged Dobio for some reason. Whats scarier is I clicked on a thread I thought was titled I shagged Dobio.

Incidently, I've shagged Dobio.

It was haught. Just next time, I want to be the guy.

[Kipling]

At 10/20/05 12:59 PM, -TheDoctor- wrote: They did the mash!

They did the monster mash!

[Ravicious]

Dude, no women, especially celebrities would immediatly fall for a wimp (aka YOU). No matter how good you THINK you are, no one would fall for a compliment on the first instance. Your spelling needs work and with your lack of intelligence it can immediatly be ruled as a pathetic attempt at self-glorification. Nice lie though. :)

(I like pissing people off and I'm pretty good at it, so save yourself the embarrassment and don't reply)

[JohnnyWang]

At 10/20/05 01:53 PM, Ravicious wrote:
(I like pissing people off and I'm pretty good at it, so save yourself the embarrassment and don't reply)

Hahaha, ha.

[DanAbnormal]

Dido is one sexy motherfucker.

[cool-penguin-0]

At 10/20/05 01:59 PM, DanAbnormal wrote: Dido is one sexy motherfucker.

Mick_the_champion is Dido's mum?

[TheAbominableMatt]

At 10/20/05 01:53 PM, Ravicious wrote: Your spelling needs work and with your lack of intelligence it can immediatly be ruled as a pathetic attempt at self-glorification. Nice lie though. :)

I think he wants you mick.

Incidentally, I loved reading your story on my

BRAND NEW LAPTOP

[Mazza]

At 10/20/05 12:57 PM, Mick_the_champion wrote: SONY WALKMAN!

NINTENDO DS

Let's start a console war!

[MickTheChampion]

At 10/20/05 01:53 PM, Ravicious wrote: Dude, no women, especially celebrities would immediatly fall for a wimp (aka YOU).

You're assuming I'm a wimp, yet you have no idea who I am - you're formulating your whole opinion of me based on my account of my passionate affair with Dido? And you say I lack intelligence? Not only do you lack intelligence, you're ignorant! And your jealous because I shagged Dido, and your Ma.

No matter how good you THINK you are, no one would fall for a compliment on the first instance.

I thought so too, but hey - I ended up in an orgy with Viet Namese seven year olds...and you never! Ha!

Your spelling needs work

Alright, give me some lessons on spelling. You're obviously a mastermind at working with the English language, enlighten me.

and with your lack of intelligence it can immediatly be ruled as a pathetic attempt at self-glorification. Nice lie though. :)

*sigh* It is so sad the way some people get jealous, eh guys?

(I like pissing people off and I'm pretty good at it, so save yourself the embarrassment and don't reply)

(I like replying to retards who think they know it all, so save yourself the embarrassment, and take the plate bitch)

This guy is so petty, but if you guys really need proof - here is a signed picture Dido gave me:-

[1]

See, I told you guys it was true.