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i have a penuis and a vagina
whats wrong with me?

Okay. Could I get sick off eating paper? It's not like I do or anything...

Can you stop depositing so I can level up faster?

Bedn has stole meh cadny. Is that serious?

At 10/19/05 10:34 AM, JohnnyWang wrote: Should I try to get medical Mariujana for my asthma?

No. The smoke from the burning marijuana will just make your asthma worse.

If you ingest the marijuana, it won't help your asthma either as marijuana works on pain receptors in your body.

Sorry for the late reply. I had a big poop.

At 10/19/05 10:35 AM, RainDropClock wrote: my computer gave me an electric shock, soon after the muscles in my leg contracted for 5 minutes, then, the next morning i was in agony and couldn't walk for several weeks, wtf happened?

I doubt this is a real medical problem but if something like this really did happen you would likely be undergoing rhabdomyolysis and you'd have kidney failure as well as permanent damage to the muscles in your leg.

At 10/19/05 10:37 AM, Enoll wrote: Are the legends that girls possess vaginas true?

No, it's false.

Anybody who does not secrete mullerian inhibiting factor or respond to it during development could potentially end up with a vagina. Also, those who lack male sex hormones or unable to respond to it could develop a vagina.

Surgery can also give a genotypic male a vagina.

But the concept of 'girl' and 'boy' is really up to you.

OH EM GEE lvl 30! Lets all post in his thread so we can be cool like him!

Are gun wounds really that big of a deal?

everytime i szeeze my head hurts.......alot

What's the best way to deal with sore muscles?

Is there any 1 thing in this world that would cause you to give up your NG account, in exchange for it?

If you recieved a minor electric shock, like from a keyboard, what would be a good estimate, that the shock would go away?
And can too much static electricity, harm your body?

Is it normal if your penis and vagina touch eachother?

Aw, look, humantarget52 and me are buddies.

At 12/17/05 12:58 AM, fleabay wrote: everytime i szeeze my head hurts.......alot

Then next time when you sneeze move your head away from your computer monitor so you dont hit your head on it everytime.

At 10/19/05 10:38 AM, Kwanzilla wrote: If I were to stab a screwdriver into someones head, melt their brain, pour it out, and pour a new brain into the hole, would they have the same body with a new brain?

No. The loss of the neuronal architeture through melting would render the brain useless.

At 10/19/05 10:38 AM, Mr_Pope wrote: I get tingling feelings up the left side of my body, what is it? Am i dying?

You'll have to give me more than that. It could be a number of things.

At 10/19/05 10:41 AM, Funkchiken wrote:

how is it that you are lv 30 but you havent reviewed a single entry?

Writing reviews is not my forte.

At 10/19/05 10:41 AM, tooyoungtocare wrote: Why does it burn when I pee?

Does it always burn when you pee or only sometimes?
You could have a mild irritation of your urethra which is giving you a burning sensation.
If it is really painful you could potentially have an infection.

At 10/19/05 11:20 AM, Bahamut7 wrote:

If a tablet box says I should take at least four a day, should I take one more than the limit a day? My itching can be quite bad.

What kind of tablets are you taking? You should consult the one who prescribed the medication to you.

At 10/19/05 11:23 AM, Newgrundling wrote:

If my appendix was about to burst, would I be better off going to you, or Shrapnel?

Neither of us. You'd need a surgeon.

At 10/19/05 11:25 AM, BrotherParanoia wrote: I have a some weird growths somewhere between my tummy and my knees - what the hell are they?

What do they look like? Describe and take a picture.

At 10/19/05 11:26 AM, ZeroAsALimit wrote: I think I may have a third nipple on the left side of my hip.

What should I do ?

That's not possible unless you are hideously deformed. Supernumerary nipples grow along the 'milk line' and the left side of the hip is not along that.

At 10/19/05 11:28 AM, THaviaC wrote: How do i get as much levels that you have?

Deposit longer than everyone else.

At 10/19/05 11:29 AM, Ledgey wrote: Why have you got 52 at the end of your name?

I can't tell you otherwise you'd know who I am.

At 10/19/05 11:30 AM, Yoow wrote: Is it nice outside?

Nice is subjective.
In Canada right now where I am visiting my fiancee? Cold ans snowy.
In Australia right now where Shrapnel is? Hot and sunny with a few clouds.

At 10/19/05 11:31 AM, KRISTMAS199 wrote: would eating a donut or a 2 biscuits be worse for my shmexsay figure?

The one with the more calories will be worse for your figure.

If they are of equal calories, the one with higher fat content will be worse for your figure

At 10/19/05 11:32 AM, CatSyrup wrote: I can't find my clitoris

Use Google. Alternatively, get a mirror out and find your pubic bone which is the hard part in the front where your groin is. Go down farther, spread your lips and look for a small fleshy bump under a hood of skin.

At 10/19/05 11:34 AM, Donstong210 wrote: I've got this itchiness around the base of my fingernails. Well, they aren't really fingernails anymore...more like swollen nubs of a hard substance that's been hit too many times by a swinging glass door. So I guess the itchiness is just around the base of those things. What should I do? Is there a sauve? Or should I just lop my hands off and start over?

I'm not sure what you mean. Elaborate.

At 10/19/05 11:36 AM, deurwaarder wrote: It burns when i pee. And this green yellowish goo comes out of my penis with a strong acid smell and then it keeps dripping all day. so i have to change underwear 3 times a day because of the smell. And then around 3 times a week i can't hold my shit and i poo my pants. Sometimes it happens when i'm trying to take a piss, so i shit all over the bathroom floor. But then the smell of acid and poo makes me nauseous and i puke all over the place making me drop to my knees and roll through my puke, shit and acid penis goo. Because of the whole chemical reaction I can’t stop puking, shitting and pissing all together. That all while I spasm all over the floor. This all lasts for about 20 minutes. So at the end of my day i have alot of cleaning to do.

You should see your doctor immediately. You likely have some sort of infection in your lower urinary tract. Discharge usually means gonorrhea or chlamydia. As for the shitting, it sounds like a neurological problem. As for the puking, it's all a psychological reaction.
Once your treat your primary illness you should be fine.

At 10/19/05 11:37 AM, Kaabi wrote: is it true that you now only deposite exp to piss us off?

No.

At 10/19/05 11:48 AM, -Gomez- wrote: Is it medically true that you and shrapnel are the same person?
<_<
>_>

No we are brothers.

At 10/19/05 12:21 PM, FatherBritmas wrote: Why don't you post more?

I am busy.

At 10/19/05 12:25 PM, Wylo wrote: How come I can bend, without moving my ring finger,my pinky finger 90 degrees on my left hand and not on my right?

The ligaments that are common to your ring finger and pinky are more flexible on your left hand. This is likely due to the fact you could be right handed so your muscles are larger on the right and likely causing it to be tighter.

At 10/19/05 12:26 PM, ShadowPriestPolux wrote: When I see a girl, my pee-pee moves, can you tell me what's wrong?

Nothing is wrong. Your dick works and you like girls.

At 10/19/05 12:27 PM, -Mazza- wrote: How come it hurts when I put my left leg behind my neck and gnaw on my rigfht foot while juggling naked clowns with both hands?

Gnomes.

you know youre dr shit i see

Sometimes my eye itches, so I scractch it. Then when I look at my finger, I see green stuff. Who's gonna win the Super Bowl?

At 10/19/05 10:33 AM, humantarget52 wrote: I am in medical school just like Shrapnel is.

Maybe that's because you're Sharpnel.

I'm late on my period, is this something that should concern me?

I like fucking girls when they're on their period it reminds me of a murder scene. Am I deranged?

At 10/19/05 01:38 PM, Bancer wrote: I get chest pains from time to time. is it possible to have heartburn/acid reflux at my age. My diet is so so (sometimes i eat shit like pizza and stuff a couple of times a week), but my activity level is moderate at best.

You will have to tell me more about your chest pain.
When did this problem start?
When does it come on? What are you doing at the time? Describe the pain for me. Does it radiate in any direction? Does anything make it feel better? Does anything make it worse? Have you seen a doctor about it? Have you ever had anything like this before?
Are you on any medications right now? Do you have any allergies? Do you have any medical conditions?

At 10/21/05 03:03 PM, Onecrazylemming wrote: Is it bad that everytime I watch Hanson videos my leg twitches and the only way to stop it is to touch myself *down below*?

You have some neurological stimulation occuring in higher centers when you watch Hanson which triggers motor neurons in your legs. By touching yourself down below you are stimulating another area which is potentially gating the signals in your spinal cord which would inhibit signals to your leg.

At 10/21/05 03:05 PM, Etch-A-SketchClock wrote: hold on, your queer ass actually posts?
for shame.

stop depositing.

Your behaviour is unbecoming of a clock. You will be banned.

At 10/21/05 03:05 PM, DarkSytze wrote: I just tripped over my penis, should I cut it off just incase I'll trip over it again?

Tape it to your leg silly.

At 10/21/05 03:16 PM, -Tween- wrote: Will you sex me up?

No. Shrapnel might for money.

At 10/21/05 03:20 PM, bigexplosions wrote: Why does my head hurt all the time?

Stay away from big explosions.

At 10/21/05 03:23 PM, DashDingo wrote: I tore about 6 of the layers of skin off my foot the other day running bare-foot and doing sprints. Anything I can do to make it a quick recovery?

Keep the area clean. Don't let it get soggy and keep it dry but not so dry that it cracks. Cushion the area and avoid further injury.

every time I watch a suspensful movie I get twitchy and hyper

what's the diagnosis doc?

1. What is the best way to get rid of an ingrown toenail?

2. Is it possible to have 7 penises on your forehead?

At 12/17/05 01:11 AM, humantarget52 wrote: What kind of tablets are you taking? You should consult the one who prescribed the medication to you.

Umm, just allergy tablet or it was tablets the doctor told me to get, but I'm now taking just normal allergy tablets. Anyway, fuck you for having to let me wait two months for an answer from you! >:(

I have small cyst-like bumps on my upper arms, is this a normal form of puberty?

I can milk myself,is it safe to drink?

At 12/17/05 05:37 AM, Bahamut7 wrote:

Umm, just allergy tablet or it was tablets the doctor told me to get, but I'm now taking just normal allergy tablets. Anyway, fuck you for having to let me wait two months for an answer from you! >:(

Oh I forgot to add ALL THE INFORMATION GIVEN PREVIOUSLY IN THIS THREAD BEFORE MY POST AND ANY FUTURE INFORMATION GIVEN AFTER THIS POST IN THIS THREAD IS NOT IN ANY WAY MEANT TO REPLACE THE ADVICE OF A MEDICAL DOCTOR- ALL REPLIES ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY

Hey, I had to take a big poo man.

You should never use more pills than recommended but for allergies, it's best to take the before onset of symptoms and to take the recommended dose.

At 10/19/05 11:32 AM, CatSyrup wrote: I can't find my clitoris

Give me ten minutes down there and I'll find it, make it swell up and teach you to play with it properly.

Anyway. Should I get the painful, growing lump just under the skin above my heart checked out?