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How To Give Yourself A Blow Job

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toxxz
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How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:05:53 Reply

Have people always told you that it's impossible to blow yourself?
Do you need to give yourself a BJ without spreading your AIDS?
Then HERE is the perfect guide for YOU!

1. First of all, make sure you haven't eaten anything all day.

2. Strip.

3. Sit somewhere comfy, like on your bed.

4. Begin fappery.

5. Once you have a huge boner, bend down.

6. Suck.

7. Then, drink a litre of petrol*.

That's all you need to do, people! AND IT WORKS! :D All tested.

*This doesn't do anything, but might make me laugh when your parents try to sue me.

Hoohah
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:08:45 Reply

Haven't you watched Clerks?

C-and-S
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:08:43 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:05 AM, OkraClock wrote:

I've heard that animals can do that to themselves, but we can't. What a shitty world!

Enoll
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:08:38 Reply

I've got a girlfriend to do that for me.

</snappage>


R.I.P LIVECORPSE

toxxz
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:08:47 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:08 AM, C_and_S wrote: I've heard that animals can do that to themselves, but we can't. What a shitty world!

We CAN! :D Try the above guide. It really works!

Tommy
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:09:19 Reply

You make me sick.

MilkshakeClock
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:10:20 Reply

My friend made up these really trippin self fellatio instructions. I cant really be bothered explaining but add just_4_jp@hotmail.com to your msn list and he'll tell you, he's online now.

toxxz
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:10:28 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:09 AM, AkoniteThrill wrote: You make me sick.

You'll be thanking me later.

PelvicThrusters
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:11:07 Reply

Wouldn't the sensation of getting a blowjob be cancelled by the feeling of having a dick in your mouth?

ZenGaijin
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:13:03 Reply

It would only be possible if you removed two of your lowest ribs and then you would be able to go to town on......yourself.


"The worst kind of coward is one that is only brave enough to show his face in the dark...."

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Dj-Vonskee
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:12:21 Reply

Um, well guys can give themselves blowjobs but only when they have one or two ribbs removed ;)

toxxz
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:12:25 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:11 AM, PelvicThrusters wrote: Wouldn't the sensation of getting a blowjob be cancelled by the feeling of having a dick in your mouth?

Just think to yourself, "It's MY dick, MY dick!" over and over, and that shouldn't be a problem.

GreenLanturn
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:12:38 Reply

Will get

(ridiculous # of views, a lot of replies)


I'm not conceited...I'm convinced.
Also, I like to use ellipses.......a lot...
Xbox Live: GreenLanternDSC

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Parsons
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:13:46 Reply

What if your fat like me and have a belly in the way.

Rhabdophobia
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:14:21 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:12 AM, OkraClock wrote:
At 6/16/05 08:11 AM, PelvicThrusters wrote: Wouldn't the sensation of getting a blowjob be cancelled by the feeling of having a dick in your mouth?
Just think to yourself, "It's MY dick, MY dick!" over and over, and that shouldn't be a problem.

Wouldnt that just make it worse


I want to die in a war

FIGMENTUM
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:14:45 Reply

I find it a lot easier to simply remove my head from my neck and take it downtown. Makes those cumshots in your eye hurt that little bit more, but you wouldn't want to do it blindfolded. You don't know what you're sucking.

Or you could go the other way round, if you're lucky enough to weild a DETACHABLE PENIS. Mmmmm.


I'll probably read this in ten minutes and facepalm. - RageVI
haha?

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chili-kitten
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:15:50 Reply

The term 'go fuck yourself' have strange new connotations

MilkshakeClock
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:17:16 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:15 AM, chili_kitten wrote: The term 'go fuck yourself' have strange new connotations

Don't you mean 'go suck yourself'?

C-and-S
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:18:29 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:12 AM, GreenLanturn wrote: Will get

(ridiculous # of views, a lot of replies)

Girls don't exist on the BBS! We all know that!

TheGoldenOffender
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:21:12 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:11 AM, PelvicThrusters wrote: Wouldn't the sensation of getting a blowjob be cancelled by the feeling of having a dick in your mouth?

you would really think so....

MilkshakeClock
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:23:27 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:21 AM, AU542 wrote:
At 6/16/05 08:11 AM, PelvicThrusters wrote: Wouldn't the sensation of getting a blowjob be cancelled by the feeling of having a dick in your mouth?
you would really think so....

But isn't the prize much more important than the journey?

ChechenRebel
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:24:17 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:08 AM, Hoohah wrote: Haven't you watched Clerks?

Yeah , you don't wanna be in the same situation like that guy in the movie was ;)

... just imagine it : you mom comes in your room to call you for a dinner and what she discovers? You with a broken neck , your pen0r in your mouth , lips on your ball-sack ...
That image would never go away from a parents head

King-Kill-33
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:26:06 Reply

No way... people died trying this... so no... go away, you're scaring me

MilkshakeClock
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:27:25 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:26 AM, King_Kill_33 wrote: No way... people died trying this... so no... go away, you're scaring me

Ummm, you weren't supposed to do step 7......

UnknownFear
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:35:16 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:08 AM, Enoll wrote: I've got a girlfriend to do that for me.

</snappage>

Damn straight!

UnknownFear
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:36:44 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:27 AM, MilkshakeClock wrote:
At 6/16/05 08:26 AM, King_Kill_33 wrote: No way... people died trying this... so no... go away, you're scaring me
Ummm, you weren't supposed to do step 7......

hahaha!

The-Forcer
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:37:55 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:05 AM, OkraClock wrote: Have people always told you that it's impossible to blow yourself?
Do you need to give yourself a BJ without spreading your AIDS?
Then HERE is the perfect guide for YOU!

Oh! I got it! you're in the clock crew! look:

Clock Crew == Cock Screw

TheGoldenOffender
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:38:47 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:23 AM, MilkshakeClock wrote:
At 6/16/05 08:21 AM, AU542 wrote:
At 6/16/05 08:11 AM, PelvicThrusters wrote: Wouldn't the sensation of getting a blowjob be cancelled by the feeling of having a dick in your mouth?
you would really think so....
But isn't the prize much more important than the journey?

no, no.... the journey is the most important part. o.O which shouldnt be done.

MilkshakeClock
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:40:38 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:37 AM, The_Forcer wrote: Oh! I got it! you're in the clock crew! look:

Clock Crew == Cock Screw

Strawberry is turning in his grave......

MrVideogame
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Response to How To Give Yourself A Blow Job 2005-06-16 08:40:55 Reply

At 6/16/05 08:05 AM, OkraClock wrote: Have people always told you that it's impossible to blow yourself?

why would you want to anyway?
GET A GIRLFRIEND!


Yes, my name is shit.. I would change it if I could.

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