Have people always told you that it's impossible to blow yourself?
Do you need to give yourself a BJ without spreading your AIDS?
Then HERE is the perfect guide for YOU!
1. First of all, make sure you haven't eaten anything all day.
3. Sit somewhere comfy, like on your bed.
4. Begin fappery.
5. Once you have a huge boner, bend down.
7. Then, drink a litre of petrol*.
That's all you need to do, people! AND IT WORKS! :D All tested.
*This doesn't do anything, but might make me laugh when your parents try to sue me.