Newgrounds--Outsourcing Jobs?!?

[IllustriousPotentate]

I got this article off of [insert obligatory news site here]. I can't believe NG is outsourcing! >:-{

March 24, 2005
Perkasie, PA [APP]

Internet Giant to Outsource

Citing rising costs, labor woes, and staffing shortages, Newgrounds.com, a website hosting tens of thousands of animations and games will begin outsourcing the task of moderating its reviews and BBS overseas beginning next month. This move surprised many insiders, as the site had just completed the acquisition of several additional moderators.

"As much as we love our current moderation staff," Tom Fulp, webmaster of the site said, "due to the increasing costs of bandwidth, as well as problems with the Moderators' union, we're going to have to implement a long-term payroll-reduction strategy." Besides the increases in costs, Fulp cited the moderators' unreasonable demands, such as the ability to post goatse (a popular internet shock picture) as well as make funny, non-lockable spam topics. However, the most influential factor was that the moderators insisted on having personal affairs, even moonlighting, outside their job at Newgrounds, lowering their efficiency.

"By outsourcing to swarthily-run sweatshops in the West, or even East Indies, we no longer have to worry about our moderators being distracted with such nuisances, " Fulp commented. "Barbed wire fences and snipe--I mean--'productivity zones and employee coaches' will ensure that."

The moderators' spokesperson, Dan "DanMalo" Malo, expressed his outrage over the move.

"This is rediculous. Some of us have been moderating for three years now, and this is the loyalty they show us? Unfortunately, we've lobbied several congressmen to force them to stop this rediculous move, and all we've received is some "No to Outsourcing" doggie hats, that, while cute, hardly help our situation."

The AFL-MOD labor union leader, Jimmy Hoffa, was unavailable for comment.

Fulp also remarked that, in addition to the outsourcing, the website will be replacing its head programmer and server maintainer with Intel's liltim 3000, a new machine developed just for Newgrounds by the popular chip manufacturer.

Below: Some of the future Newgrounds moderated staff in Servitude Corp., Bangladesh.

[DaRk]

holy shit mods get paid

[Maus]

CRAP.

Now I'll have to get a real job.

:'(

[Bengal]

At 3/24/05 02:49 PM, darkdevil92 wrote: holy shit mods get paid

roffels

[scottmale24]

Dan "DanMalo" Malo

Hah, I love it.

[DaRk]

but seriously that shit is false

[LazyDrunk]

oh em gee......

[deslona]

At 3/24/05 02:49 PM, darkdevil92 wrote: holy shit mods get paid

Thats the same as I was thinking, but aren't the mods are all over the world? Some here some there.. aren't they? Now we will get some really bad english onto the forums. This makes no practical (other then money) sense. I'm sure the current mods like their job. (do you?) It seems foolish that Admin would want to risk sending the job for chweap labour who doenst really care and has to be 'trained' in the system.

*Thumb down*

[HuIk]

Someone set us up the device.

[LazyDrunk]

At 3/24/05 02:55 PM, Incredible_Hulk wrote: Someone set us up the device.

HA! All NG's resources R belong to they

[FrostyBear]

So far the jokes about indian ppl ...

[IllustriousPotentate]

At 3/24/05 02:51 PM, darkdevil92 wrote: but seriously that shit is false

It couldn't be. It was in an anonymous memo sent to Dan Rather back in October. That right there tells you it's reliable. >:[

[DroopyA]

Yeah, this sucks. I read this yesterday on CNN...

[RedSkunk]

I saw this coming as soon as they modded Ozcar simply because he would work for under the US minimum wage.

:'(

[skully]

At 3/24/05 03:54 PM, DroopyA wrote: Yeah, this sucks. I read this yesterday on CNN...

nice photoshop but your text is smaller then what it should be.

[FUNKbrs]

What's cool is I have an Indian friend that's involved in the outsourcing. I'm actually going to be promoted to manager after I relocate, unlike some other mods I could mention....

[Ted-Easton]

Man, this pisses me off. I mean, I need the money from NG or else I can't feed my goats. Anything but that super-expensive grass from the Galapagos gives them gas.
What the hell am I going to feed them now? Oats and barley?

[TheShrike]

At 3/24/05 02:46 PM, IllustriousPotentate wrote: The moderators' spokesperson, Dan "DanMalo" Malo, expressed his outrage over the move.

That's ONE WORD, bitch.

[Afro-Ninja]

At 3/24/05 05:28 PM, TheShrike wrote:

At 3/24/05 02:46 PM, IllustriousPotentate wrote: The moderators' spokesperson, Dan "DanMalo" Malo, expressed his outrage over the move.

That's ONE WORD, bitch.

Haha, it should have read, Dan "That's one word bitch" Malo
=)

[DanMalo]

At 3/24/05 05:30 PM, Afro_Ninja wrote:

At 3/24/05 05:28 PM, TheShrike wrote:

At 3/24/05 02:46 PM, IllustriousPotentate wrote: The moderators' spokesperson, Dan "DanMalo" Malo, expressed his outrage over the move.

That's ONE WORD, bitch.

Haha, it should have read, Dan "That's one word bitch" Malo
=)

I'm famous!

[FUNKbrs]

At 3/24/05 05:36 PM, DanMalo wrote: I'm famous!

For being the worst mod ever.

Well, at least for the next month or so, at any rate.

[TheShrike]

At 3/24/05 05:36 PM, DanMalo wrote: I'm famous!

Only because you can spell 'genios'.

[TheShrike]

At 3/24/05 06:01 PM, OsAmARaMa wrote: This is true. I have personally spoken with Tom Fulp about hiring a grossly underpaid staff from Western India to help us with our current outsourcing issue.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, FOREIGNER!

[TheAlliance]

Ha ha! What a funny, original post! </disgust>

[FUNKbrs]

I can't wait till I'm in india, pursuing my true calling: Oppressing the poor.

[Umsutfeersme]

At 3/24/05 06:58 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: I can't wait till I'm in india, pursuing my true calling: Oppressing the poor.

It's what we all really want to do...

Bless you for following through with your dreams. :')

I just got the news today!

My Turkish half brother is one of those being hired. He has already bought 2 tube of Tom's favorite lube, and Is starting to get a Jaw-ache from stamper.

He gets paid 3 cent's, half normal beatings, and his mothers freedom every day he works.

[TheAlliance]

At 3/24/05 06:55 PM, OsAmARaMa wrote:

This one's better.

My point being that the thread I posted was an actual story. The fact that this thread is simply biting off of my story is a load of crap. (PS- I realize that my sig is biting off of Wade's!)

[nXXt]

Whahahaha...

What will become of the mods?

Their existence is now threathened.

I want to form the MWF: Mod Wildlife Fund, to help mods build a solid and honourable life.

[LazyDrunk]

At 3/25/05 01:54 AM, nXXt wrote:
I want to form the MWF: Mod Wildlife Fund, to help mods build a solid and honourable life.

While you're at it, I'll organize a N00bs Unlimited. They can support the hunting and banning of n00bs, maybe even a year-round open season.

Send donations to [e-mail]

Do it for the mods, people.