Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I’ve been looking for a life to settle into, a place to stay, a girl to home with and be comfortable with, and so she can have what she wants, just as I never did. I am an Orphan.

I have been through so many stages of hardship, cruelty, torturous pain at times. I made it, I am alive to tell my life to many out in the world who care. I don’t socialise well, and I don’t create my friends. My friends create me. I’ve wondered what it would be like to die. To bleed my blood over all that I work hard for. I have tried, but I haven't figured the best way to leave. Should I slit my throat? Should I slit my wrists? Hang myself? I feel nothing. Love isn't ever there. I want to leave and stop this pain, I want to forget everyone and everything, forget the trouble I cause and the peace I avoid.

I cry many nights when I’m alone. One I had been a boy and I never cried, I was too scared to even think about a family, a friend, not one. I could only think of death, injustice, discrimination and racism. Everything I hadn't fully understood at that time. But now I do cry. I understand I had nothing, I have nothing and that I am nothing.

My temper is at a gage, it can rise, and it can fall. Once it rises, its like a whole new me, many of my friends understand what I go through, I hate losing, and they know about it, so they never give up on me. I respect that so much, but temper is an emotion that overwhelms the creativity of friendship and love, and so frankly, I gave up on trying. Trying is a word which I killed and hid under my floor-boards a long, long time ago.

Yes the weekend is here at last! W00t! Now I cna gte some serious writing done.....except on sunday cause I have a crappy orchestra competition to go to.......but apart from that YAY!

has anyone rea dthe thign i posted earlier on this page?

At 2/25/05 12:35 PM, ImmortalDarkness wrote: Kirkus.. why did you change your name to "-Emo"?

dunno, I change my name from time to time, won't be very long before I'm kirkus again.

At 2/25/05 05:17 AM, Coop83 wrote: Thanks for the review, Myst

It was long over due, but i couldn't find time to finish reading the chapter. I am reading two novels for school right now and have been doing an average of 2 essays a week between my 4 classes. : P
staying up until 12 and waking up at 6 everyday has been killing me. Weekends are like miracles when i sleep in, but tomorrow onc ei wkae up at 1pm, i am going to be working on another essay as it is. So as you can tell ,things have been hectic. lol.

I had a bit of trouble with it, but I think it came right... just about. Wizards always like to be flashy and have no fashion sense whatsoever. I thought I'd try to describe it, but it's quite difficult.

Ya, i am just dumb and had to look up one of the words in the dictionary... it was awkward at first, but does the trick. ^_^

*****************************

Kirkus/Emo.... nice poetry. I saw it in the LNL already, but good stuff. I enjoyed the read.

P.S. RG users: I submitted a new PS piece that i am getting all my online buddies to check out. Here: http://photoshop.retrogade.com/view.php?id=1796

Attention.
I'm bored with this place. I might leave.

(

At 2/25/05 10:56 PM, ImmortalDarkness wrote: Attention.
I'm bored with this place. I might leave.

Well thanks for the support?

lol, i am not sure what kind of responce you were expecting, but if you don't like the place then why should i ask you to stay any longer? We enjoyed having you... i guess we may see you around?

At 2/25/05 11:01 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: lol, i am not sure what kind of responce you were expecting

I'm an attention whore tonight. On the corner of General and Clubs & Crews.

At 2/25/05 11:03 PM, ImmortalDarkness wrote: I'm an attention whore tonight. On the corner of General and Clubs & Crews.

^_^ We all have our days. I just was confused why you stated it. lol. I hope you don't leave though, if that matters any.

At 2/25/05 11:05 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: ^_^ We all have our days. I just was confused why you stated it. lol. I hope you don't leave though, if that matters any.

I'm not leaving you silly. I'm just getting annoying about the Fanfiction reviews.
Part two...
Leon stood with the officer on his right. They both had their arms outstretched. The people were coming towards them. Their time was running out. Well, it’s now or never, Leon thought. He shot one in both of the eyes, thereby disabling it. He shot one in the leg, ran up, and performed a suplex on it, leading to a breaking of its neck. The officer shot accurately, but he wasn’t shooting with heart. Normally, he would keep going, but now, he had to take breaks in-between shots.
Now there were 5 out of 11 down. Leon was starting to get tired. He heard something. It sounded like a chainsaw. But, he only heard it for but a second, and it disappeared. I must be imagining things, he thought. He took down two with a heel to ones nose and a foot to the others jaw, spinning its head around and breaking its neck.
The officer started screaming. Leon turned around and said, “What’s wrong!?” but he didn’t need an answer. A man with a potato sack over his head with holes cut out for the eyes was running towards the officer. And he had a chainsaw. The man raised it high over is head and rammed it down on the officer, splitting him in two pieces. Leon started gagging at the sight. Better get running or get shooting if I don’t want to end up like him.
Leon shot him in the leg, and he was down to the ground for a second. Leon took this chance and ran past him as fast as he could. This is suicide, he thought, I’m running away from these things now, and I’m heading towards a village that’s full of ‘em. Damned CIA.
The chainsaw man was now chasing after him. Leon looked back and saw him. He was gaining on him. Leon turned his head back forward and tripped over a twig. He was down. He thought his life was over. Leon, you idiot. You’re a trained CIA agent. You’re gonna let one guy with a chainsaw stop you from your mission!? Leon took heed of his thoughts and when the man came up to him, he shoved his feet into the man’s gut, and clasped his feet onto his wrist, spun, and broke it. “No more chainsaws for you,” Leon said as he kicked the man down on the ground. He raised his foot, and then took one stomp on his head, leaving a big footprint in it.
After a little while’s walk, Leon felt a vibration on his hip. His walkie-talkie was picking up a signal. He flipped it open and saw a fairly attractive woman with glasses on the other end.
“Leon Scott Kennedy I presume?” the woman said.
“Yes. And who are you?” Leon replied.
“My name is Hunnigan. I’ll be your technical support on this mission.”
“I see.”
“Care to fill me in on everything that happened since your arrival? Sorry I didn’t contact you sooner, but it was a pain getting in touch with you. Is everything OK?”
“That’s a negative, Hunnigan. The villagers around here. Well.. They’re not the kind of people you want as neighbors.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means that they want me dead. So far about 14 have attacked me.”
“And you…?”
“I had no choice. I had to neutralize them all. But they are NOT human. Either that or they’re some freaky ones.”
“Explain, please.”
“Well, at the house on the outskirts of the village, on their table. The woman was eating rotten food. And as far as I know, no human can eat rotten food and either like it or survive from it.”
“That may be true. But bizarre eating habits cannot make people supernatural.”
“Tch. Fine. So I guess their need to kill me and the officers doesn’t make them bad people either?”
“For one thing, I never said bad. And another thing, the officers are dead?”
“Would you like me to go into detail on their deaths?”
“I’m sure I won’t like it, but I have to.”
Leon told her the whole story about from when the truck hit them, up to where he currently was. Hunnigan was shocked.
“But anyways,” Hunnigan said, “You still need to get Ashley back.”
“I know. Leon, over and out.”
* * *

R&R

D

I'd like to start a contest. I was thinking of a writing contest consisting of three Regulations.
1. Type (Poem, Story, Description)
2. Length (None, 250, 500 words)
3. Meter (may specify meter in poems)

I'm not too sure how to explain #3 so I'll leave that to Myst. Voting will consist of e-mails from WG members to an address that I will post following its creation.

O_o

I think we need to start some reviewing people. There is a backlog of stuff that requires reviewing currently. I'll do a few but I really think we need to get some sort of system worked out so we can get reviews done quickly.

Understandlably not everyone can review everything and people don't always hav time to review thigns but I think there are a few members in here that could help out a bit more with the reviewing.

Now Ive had my rant I'll tyr and remove the bakc log of pieces that are waiting to be reviwed.

<puts on Scuba diving gear>
toodle pips chaps. Shall see you when ive cuaght myself a great white stroy shark>

<falls backwrads into water>

At 2/25/05 11:07 PM, ImmortalDarkness wrote: Part two...

more descripition needed IMO. Its a decent little story so far but it requires some tweaks here and there. the way you just said thigns liek
" He shot the zombie in the eys diabling it and then shot another one in the leg" kind o annoyed me a little. I know that wasn't the exact words you used but it is the kind of stuff you included. Make it mroe interesting.

" He fired a shot at the zombies head and struck its eyes diabling it from advancing any further. He span around and fired off another shot at the zombie behind him. The bullet pierced the skin on its leg and it fell on the floor groaning."

Thats what you need to add IMO. Styiff liek that so people get more information so they can imagine whats actually happening.

At 2/23/05 09:12 PM, boloneyman wrote: "Kido so we meet again, I wish we could talk, but I'm in a rush to become all powerful" Niku said.

sorry but I have something against this bit here. I can't picture anyone in any situation saying somethign like " No time to chat. I'm trying to become all powerful " it just wouldnt happen. Maybe something along the liens of " Shut up! I don't have time to talk im in the middle of rasising my power level (or whatever)" which is basically the same thign but it soudns better in my opinion.

"Save it" Kido replied "You know why we're here, I would read your rap sheet, but as you said you're in a hurry."
"Then lets make this quick" Niku said opening his wings preparing to summon the demon inside him. But before he could to darts hit his wings and shocked them. His wings fell limp to his sides, parylized.

I'm begining to detect a pattern in my reviews. I tend tpo be veyr descriptive in my writing and I seem toe xpect everyone else to be aswell.

anyway that bit is to bland for my liking. it is to much of a "wham bam thank yuo man sentence." it gets straight to the poit when you could make it mroe interesting by being more descriptive about what happens.

"You fuckers" Niku yelled at the top of his lungs in anger. He took great pride in his wings and they sullied them. He would now have to dispose of them the old fashioned way.
"Surround him!" Kido commanded taking his post at the top of the stairs.
As the polive surronded him a fire formed in Niku's hands, "This is going to be fun" Niku said.
A soider jumped at him and in mid air Niku threw his fireball. The soider was disintergrated instantly. The rest of the group charged at Niku, but met the same fate as the first soider. When Niku was sure the soiders were ash he turned to Kido and the eleves by his side.
Niku raised his hand and fired a barrage of fireballs at Kido. There was a blast of smoke, Niku couldn't see a thing. As the smoke cleared Niku saw Kido and the soiders emerge from Kido's cape, an elven cloak, immune to goblin spells.

Damn i think I have found my pet peeve for writing. Once more its straight to the point but that isn't always needed and in the situation you have put the character sin I think it would be better to describe everything in detail so the reader knwos exactly whats happening

Apart from that its a good little piece ^_^ the story line is quite interetsing.

At 2/25/05 12:47 PM, -WhiteFang- wrote: I’ve been looking for a life to settle into, a place to stay, a girl to home with and be comfortable with, and so she can have what she wants, just as I never did. I am an Orphan.

Dont be scared to review...

At 2/26/05 12:03 PM, -WhiteFang- wrote: Dont be scared to review...

:P

That was a ncie little piece. Im not entirly sure what its for. Is it just somethign you wrote for the sake of writing or for soemthign in particualr like a school projetc or something?

it was rather dark but I liked it. its a nice piece and I enjoyed reaidng it and there isnt much else I can say really.,

Manic always keeps the reviewing going. If anyone wants me to review something specificall, tell me what page and post your piece is on. I have been busy lately and dont have the time to go back and do all of them.

Manic, I saw your sig said Birmingham... and in my current novel there is a quick pit stop in Birmingham for one chapter and i was hoping you could give me any major details about there city that might be important for me to know. Like what century most the buildings were built (maybe new)... local tourist attractions... I have no idea, but any details you can think of may be greatly useful for me. ^_^

Coop, i was curious about World Of Warcraft and was wondering what race, class etc your new character is. I am thinking that as soon as May comes around, i will be getting it (I will be old enough for a credit card by then)... because i checked out the site and it looks sick, plus i havnt played video games in a while and i always did enjoy the Warcraft series (owning them all).

At 2/26/05 01:25 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Manic always keeps the reviewing going. If anyone wants me to review something specificall, tell me what page and post your piece is on. I have been busy lately and dont have the time to go back and do all of them.

Scroll up this page and take alookj at what i posted will ya?

Manic, I saw your sig said Birmingham... and in my current novel there is a quick pit stop in Birmingham for one chapter and i was hoping you could give me any major details about there city that might be important for me to know. Like what century most the buildings were built (maybe new)... local tourist attractions... I have no idea, but any details you can think of may be greatly useful for me. ^_^

errrrrr ok then. Main tourist attractions are the Bull ring shopping centre, Sea life centre, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr god....i can;t think now gimme a bit and I'll ahvea think ask coop aswell he live in the same kind of area and may know mroe than me.

Coop, i was curious about World Of Warcraft and was wondering what race, class etc your new character is. I am thinking that as soon as May comes around, i will be getting it (I will be old enough for a credit card by then)... because i checked out the site and it looks sick, plus i havnt played video games in a while and i always did enjoy the Warcraft series (owning them all).

Thanks for the review, Manic. And BTW, in post production I'm going to redo all of it. Add more colorful words, action, no repeatance. No sentences starting with "And"

At 2/26/05 01:28 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: Scroll up this page and take alookj at what i posted will ya?

Ahh, yes that one. I read it a while back. Here is what i say is good of it: It is creative and very descriptive, though some of your comparisons (similes and metaphors) are a bit confusing.

Though, the major flaw that stuck out to me was the paragraphing; they were just way off... and there were twice as many as there should have been. So work on paragraphing, otherwise it is great. Very creative and very visual... you really got inside my imagination. ^_^

errrrrr ok then. Main tourist attractions are the Bull ring shopping centre, Sea life centre, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr god....i can;t think now gimme a bit and I'll ahvea think ask coop aswell he live in the same kind of area and may know mroe than me.

Hmm, okay, well if you come up with anything. Do tell, please. ^_^

************************************

Coop, can you help owith the birmingham matter as well as the W.O.W. too?

At 2/26/05 03:16 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Ahh, yes that one. I read it a while back. Here is what i say is good of it: It is creative and very descriptive, though some of your comparisons (similes and metaphors) are a bit confusing.

I'll work on it. Its a rough versiuon anyway I haven't made any commitments for it so I'm gonna take my time over it and re write bits and pieces.

Though, the major flaw that stuck out to me was the paragraphing; they were just way off... and there were twice as many as there should have been. So work on paragraphing, otherwise it is great. Very creative and very visual... you really got inside my imagination. ^_^

hmmmmmm damn I'll have to re read it now and see where the problems are :-\

Hmm, okay, well if you come up with anything. Do tell, please. ^_^

a lot of Brum was built in the industrial revolution so.......19th century I think that was someone corretc me if I'm wrong. There are more canals in Brimingham than there are in Venice, Birmingham prould y is the birthplace of Ozzy Osborne.........it is the curry capital of the country(*might be the world but I'm not sure) and it is locate din the west midlands and we get our water from the river severn.

Is there anythign esle you wanna know specificly? if so just ask ^_^

oh I'll be posting a poem whihc is going to be a part of my cult/cop thign I'm starting to write later.

it was rather dark but I liked it. its a nice piece and I enjoyed reaidng it and there isnt much else I can say really.,

First. Im 24. Second, its a real event in my life. ^^

I don't think i did formally invite you WhiteFang, so welcome (glad to finally see you around NG and not just the crypt). BTW your last lit post was very deep. I enjoyed the read.

Has anyone thought of my Contest Ideas? I think it would be great to have for those days that you need a topic.

At 2/26/05 06:58 PM, CaptainT wrote: Has anyone thought of my Contest Ideas? I think it would be great to have for those days that you need a topic.

Oh ya, you wanted me to explai nwhat 'Meter' means: It is the pattern of syllables (or beats) in a line.

And the idea seems cool, since it is poetry, i will be in for sure, but since it really isn't all that serious, we mind as well vote right in the thread. Just vote for your fav, i don't think ppl's feelings will be hurt if they are not voted for. Or people can vote Gold, Silver Bronze... where Gold gets 3 point, Silver gets 2 and Bronze gets 1... then when al lthe voting is daid in done, we tally the votes and award the appropriate 'medals'. Just ideas. ^_^

At 2/25/05 11:15 PM, CaptainT wrote: I'd like to start a contest. I was thinking of a writing contest consisting of three Regulations.

i like this idea. does it have to have a complete ending or can it be a "to be continued" thing?

Lazer12, are you an alt account, or are you just new? I am curious, because we don't get too many 'new' members around here and if you are an alt, i might be out of the loop not realizing it. lol.

I think it would be best to have a time limit. Such as maybe three days or 72 hours exactly. (we could add that to the regulations of three)

If there was a situation where everything went well, but people missed the competition or wanted to trysomething that they hadn't had the chance to, we would have Repeat/Retry Competitions. Like Fire Poem and Fire Poem 2.
Understand?

I got it, when does the first comp. start CT?

How about now?

Competition #1
Rules:
Description
250 words or less
Time limit 9PM of 02/27/2005

Describe a Toy Factory/Workshop, be creative.

(If its too unreal, its too good)

Hey bro, you need to chill out there. ^_^ I better go thank DP for the sig. Check ya in a bit.

P.S. I liked the Wing-Eater poem.