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At 1/27/05 02:02 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: god knwos if its right or not. My brian is to smashed form having to get me head round my french oral exam earlier.(which I fialed btw :-))

Failed? Ya right. I have an exam tomorrow in fact. : P

Will be trying to do some poems later shall post them if I finish them.

Yay! Will be keeping my head for'em.

At 1/27/05 02:11 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Failed? Ya right. I have an exam tomorrow in fact. : P

You say that as though you dont think Im capable of failing. Maybe I didnt fial in the literal sense of not passing but I did fial in my eyes I got an E so thats a shit grade so I fialed :-)

Yay! Will be keeping my head for'em.

lol. Im just strating one now :P

At 1/27/05 02:15 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: You say that as though you dont think Im capable of failing. Maybe I didnt fial in the literal sense of not passing but I did fial in my eyes I got an E so thats a shit grade so I fialed :-)

I knew you didn't fail-fail. : )

lol. Im just strating one now :P

Cool, try and get one in b ythe end of the weekend at least. : )

At 1/27/05 02:21 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Cool, try and get one in b ythe end of the weekend at least. : )

your wish is my command this is a rough one just to gte me started.

Paradise lost

Of hardened nights and forest gloom
My feet do fall upon the land I roam.
The grass be green ,the sky is black
Never shall I leave this meandering track.

I look upon the starry sky
As the ancient winds do pass me by
Never shall I leave this place
With its warm, loving and ancient embrace

The scene is set as it starts to fade
I find myself lying Confused and dazed
With thoughts of scenery in my head.
as I lie there in my bed.
I stop and glare angrily at the clock
And try to regain my paradise lost.

Here's the second part of the Last Battle. There's two threads and the story will change between them. I hope it's not too confusing, and remember to look up this if any of the names are strange to you. <3

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The Last Battle - Part 2
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The host had now passed through the abandoned city of Osgiliath, and were not 10 miles from Minas Tirith. The sun shone low in the pale sky. The Orc-legions were driven forward by the whips of the Balrogs who strode behind, and terror went ever before them. The host was swarming across the plains of Gondor and closing in on the city. The defenders looked on in silence.

Suddenly, a great black shape was seen to rear up from the host, and vast wings spread out. Ancalagon the Black it was, the greatest of the dragons of the air, who was come back into the world to wreak death and ruin on the world. Upon his back sat Melkor himself, who was hideous to behold. Shadow and smoke were about him always, pierced by red eyes that burned with hate. High and far the Dark Lord was borne, for he was to have no part in the Battle for Middle Earth. His most trusted lieutenant would lead the assault on the Free Peoples.

Indeed, Sauron, whom the Elves called Gorthaur, led the army to the walls of the city, clad in black armour, and wielding an iron mace. The bows of Gondor and the Shire sang, and many orcs fell. The dragons rose into the sky and soared over the city, breathing fire upon it and slaying many men. Towers, drawn by Trolls were brought to the walls and orcs burst forth from them, and breached the city. Gondor's knights fought fiercely, and the axes of the Dwarves clove many an orc. The Hobbits too, gained much valour in their defense of the walls, and much blood was spilled upon the battlements.

The fighting raged on for many hours, and the battlements were choked with the wreck of war. Suddenly horns rent the air, sweeping over the plains and booming from the mountain-sides. The swift horsemen of Rohan were come from the South, for they had marched through the Paths of the Dead, and south of the White Mountains to Gondor. Now the wild horses of Rohan rode over the orcs, and the Rohirrim sang as they slew, for they delighted in war, and bitter was their hatred of the Enemy. But the defence of the city was wavering. The dragons had set the city alight, and were slaying many Men and Hobbits upon the battlements. Even the hardy Dwarves could not withstand them, and many were thrown down or set alight. Great fear then fell upon the defenders, for light ceased in that hour, and there was darkness, and only the stars shone. For Morgoth had not been idle in his absence.

Much evil had been wrought by him in the airs above the World, for he had assailed Arien, guardian of the Sun. He pursued her upon Ancalagon, and though her fire burned him, Melkor's hatred burned the hotter, and he cast her down, and she was lost. For the first time in many ages, Arda fell into darkness, and then only starlight lit the world. Melkor laughed without remorse and now pursued Tilion, steersman of the Moon. But in the dark skies encirling the world, he went not alone.

For upon the hallowed ship Vingilot, Eärendil, son of Tuor, still sailed the airs. Tilion in his turn was assailed, and though he wept for the loss of Arien, he loosed an arrow from his great silver bow which pierced the dragon in the belly. Blood gushed forth, but the dragon prevailed, and Melkor's power was greater, and he let fall his mace, and Tilion too was lost. So passed the last flowers of Telperion and Laurelin, and only the stars now shone. Seeing that his scheme had succeeded, he commanded the dragon to fly back to Minas Tirith, and they went swiftly through the sky like an arrow, and blood dripped from the wound. But, behold! Earendil was come in glory with a Silmaril upon his brow, and it shone brighter than any light ever set in the sky by Varda. The ship came swiftly, as a bolt of lightning through a thundercloud, and the greatest of all beings in Arda and his steed were cast from the sky. Long and far was their descent, and as Ancalagon smote the ground, the Earth trembled and heaved. Melkor followed, and broke the dragon in his fall. The land all about was riven where they fell, and the foul blood of the dragon poured, black and smoking, upon the ground, and marred it.

Sauron strode to the gate, and all was silent. Defender and foe alike halted, as if entranced. The Dark Lord raised his mace and uttered a terrible, piercing cry. He smote the gates of iron, and a great tremble ran through the city. But they did not yield. He once again raised his mace, but did not strike the gate again. For suddenly, the gates burst open, and the Ents came forth, stamping ruin all before them and slaying many enemies, for the fury of battle had taken them, and great was their resistance to the Dark Lord's power. All fled before them, and Sauron was thrown down, but the Balrogs came to his aid, and only their whips could restrain the furious Ents. Treebeard was caught, and though he thrashed about, he could not break free. Sauron arose and laughed as he strode towards the captured Ent. But he percieved not the full power of his foe. As his mace came down, Fangorn spoke words of power in some long forgotten tongue and splendour was revealed in him, and his eyes shone with the light of the Valar. The mace fell and clove the head, but burning white fire and light sprang up, and his body fell. So passed Fangorn, eldest of all living things in Middle-Earth. Sauron fell back blinded, and his black body was blasted apart, and his bitter mace fell to the ground. He was now but a black shadow that rose into the sky, only to be scattered by a cold wind out of the West.

The Balrogs, in their cruelty, hewed the body of Fangorn as it lay, but the Ents rushed to their fallen leader, and their wrath was terrible to behold. They seized the Balrogs and threw them down, for they were fey, and now knew no fear. Taking the maces of the Valaraukar, they beat the demons into the dust, and they were utterly ruined. Great indeed were the deeds of the Ents at the gate, and the orcs were dismayed. The dragons departed from the battle and swept West through the sky in a storm of wings, for they had a summons to heed.

*continued below*

*continued from above*

Melkor emerged from the wreck unharmed, for the dragon had broken his fall. He summoned his dragons and they came to him with great speed. The greatest and largest of them bore Melkor back to the battle, and told him of Sauron's fall, and the ruin of the Balrogs. Wrath and fear both rose up inside him, but he seized control, for his greed, that had festered and grown for thousands of years, had not yet been contented, and the rage of Melkor was hideous to see. Deadly fear fell upon even the Ents, but the orcs fought ever more fiercely in the presence of their Lord. Fire issued from the dragons, and engulfed the Ents in flame, and they perished. The Rohirrim were overcome also, and they were lost. Melkor now turned towards the city. The orcs ran rampant through the streets of Minas Tirith, hewing and burning all before them. The defenders were shown no mercy, and Melkor slew many of them with his mace. Hobbits, Men, Dwarves and Ents, all lay slain on the walls, and on the battlefield, and the ground was awash with blood. The Free Peoples of Middle-Earth had been utterly defeated. In that hour of sorrow and despair, the armies of Melkor rejoiced and hailed him King of the World.

But Melkor now turned his gaze West across the Sea to Valinor, where the Valar dwelt. As the Valacirca blazed brightly in the sky above, greed and lust for power filled his thought, and consumed him. Melkor's plan for dominion over the world was now closer to completion. The Valar made ready for war. The Last Battle, and the World's Ending, were nigh...

---------------------------------

Much <3 to you if you read all that ^_^

Comments?

At 1/27/05 02:30 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: your wish is my command this is a rough one just to gte me started.

Nice job. The first stanza starts off a littel awkward, but smooths out. I like it anyhow. ^_^

Elderion - I printed it off so i can read it before i go to bed. So i will have my thoughts for you sometime this weekend. ^_^

At 1/27/05 02:54 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Nice job. The first stanza starts off a littel awkward, but smooths out. I like it anyhow. ^_^

thanks. Ill try and get a proper oen doen now and should post it tommorow.

My comments are posted on Tolkien Club. They would be the same if they were put on here, and I can't even be bothered to cut and paste.

It was good though.

At 1/27/05 02:56 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: thanks. Ill try and get a proper oen doen now and should post it tommorow.

Great! That was a good start i must say.

At 1/27/05 02:58 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Great! That was a good start i must say.

ha ha! Thanks.

Eldarion.

Nice second part its coming along nicely. When I cna be bothered to review it properly I will :P

At 1/27/05 03:03 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: Nice second part its coming along nicely. When I cna be bothered to review it properly I will :P

Ya, he is even lazier then me. : P

At 1/27/05 03:07 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Ya, he is even lazier then me. : P

hey..........Im not that bad.............well maybe I am :-(

At 1/27/05 03:11 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: hey..........Im not that bad.............well maybe I am :-(

lol, at least you admit it. Good man. lol.

Forgive me Lord

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned
I have given shelter to the homeless
I have aided the needy
I have loved all mankind
But only to make a profit

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned
I have loved my wife for years
Given her all she needs
I have given her a good life
So she won't suspect anything

Forgive me Lord, for I have killed
I have given birth to technology
Eased the lives of millions
Helped young ones survive
While murdering our mother

Forgive me Lord, for I have lost faith
I have gone to church
Read your tomes with interest
And spread your word across nations
But you say nothing

Forgive me Lord
But I don't believe in you anymore

At 1/27/05 03:27 PM, -Manman- wrote: Forgive me Lord

this is creepyIm tlaking to someone at the moment about how religion is fake............and then you post this.

Thats a veyr nice poem you've got there.might I enquire as to what inspired this.

At 1/27/05 03:29 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: Might I inquire as to what inspired this?

Just pooped into my head the other night. I was remembering a talk we had in my English class last year. I must have been the only kid there who didn't go to church, because they were all shocked when I said I didn't really know what to think of religion anymore. "What's not to know?" they asked. I just told them that if God used to speak to so many people for so long, why hasn't he spoken since? Has God lost faith in us?

It was actually really weird to talk about, let alone write about. I normally wouldn't touch religion in any of my writing, ever, but I felt this one just flowed nicely.

At 1/27/05 03:46 PM, -Manman- wrote: It was actually really weird to talk about, let alone write about. I normally wouldn't touch religion in any of my writing, ever, but I felt this one just flowed nicely.

it does flow veyr nicely. Its a heck of a poem........you must go to a strange school if you were the only kid that didnt believe in god or whatever. My school is 50:50 half the kids believe the other half think its bull shit............and then ther eis me and a few other people who are members of the jedi relgion so we dont really coutn in the other two sections :-\

At 1/27/05 03:46 PM, -Manman- wrote: Just pooped into my head the other night. I was remembering a talk we had in my English class last year. I must have been the only kid there who didn't go to church, because they were all shocked when I said I didn't really know what to think of religion anymore. "What's not to know?" they asked. I just told them that if God used to speak to so many people for so long, why hasn't he spoken since? Has God lost faith in us?

I tried something similar to that at school, but it got me three weeks of detention and my parents wouldn't back me up. (My dad is very religious) I told the teacher of religious studies in year 6 (11 years old) that I read the bible because I was bored. I delivered a literary review on a most excellent work of fiction and was told that I could be arrested for blasphemy.

The next year, my teacher (different teacher, similar result) told me off for reading Discworld in class. I said that I had learned all I wanted to learn about religion and had dismissed it as silly. I was only furthering my education, by doing something constructive with my time, as opposed to the two kids sat at the back of the room, sleeping.

Teacher didn't buy it, I questioned the attitude of god and then stood up and demanded he strike me down for renouncing him. Noithing happened, I rested my case and got detention.

Fortunately, the next school got better for me, as during Religious Ed, all we talked about seemed to be Monty Python, so I was happy.

At 1/27/05 03:52 PM, Coop83 wrote: Fortunately, the next school got better for me, as during Religious Ed, all we talked about seemed to be Monty Python, so I was happy.

wow. go Coop! Stick it to the man andtell god that he aint real! Now all you have to do is join the jedi order like I did as a final insult to most organised religions :-)

At 1/27/05 03:52 PM, Coop83 wrote: I tried something similar to that at school, but it got me three weeks of detention and my parents wouldn't back me up. (My dad is very religious) I told the teacher of religious studies in year 6 (11 years old) that I read the bible because I was bored. I delivered a literary review on a most excellent work of fiction and was told that I could be arrested for blasphemy.

I'm so glad I never went to a religious school. I never would've survived. I guess it isn't quite as big a deal in Canada as it is in the UK. Nothing ever is up here, actually.

At 1/27/05 03:56 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: wow. go Coop! Stick it to the man andtell god that he aint real! Now all you have to do is join the jedi order like I did as a final insult to most organised religions :-)

At the last census, I put 'Jedi' as my religion. I have now come to realise that my religious choice would be Agnostic, to put it properly, as there is no proof, except for a book, which is about as believable, in my eyes, as LotR.

At 1/27/05 04:09 PM, Coop83 wrote: At the last census, I put 'Jedi' as my religion. I have now come to realise that my religious choice would be Agnostic, to put it properly, as there is no proof, except for a book, which is about as believable, in my eyes, as LotR.

The bible is the biggets sham ever. Relgion in general is a sham. Teh only decent religion IMO is Buddhism as they actually stick tothe cods that are given out to them by Buddha. Every other relgion doesnt practice what it preaches.

Besides Buddihm is cool! Meditation is somehting Im interested in and any relgion that has the shaolin monks has got ot be good :D

BTW coop and who ever else read sthis can you back track to thealst page I think it was an read the quick poemn i made?

At 1/27/05 02:30 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: Paradise lost

Not a bad poem... It really stirred up some good emotions inside me. I feel like going to the Valley right now and taking in my own version of paradise... except it's raining... and dark... and cold.

I'll have to wait until summer.

At 1/27/05 04:25 PM, Coop83 wrote: I'll have to wait until summer.

ha ha! Thats a good one Coop.

Thanks foryour thoughts any way you feel it could be improved? I know it starts off a little rough so can you think of any way i can improve the start or any other bits of it?

At 1/27/05 04:28 PM, Manic_streetpreacher wrote: Thanks foryour thoughts any way you feel it could be improved? I know it starts off a little rough so can you think of any way i can improve the start or any other bits of it?

Not really, I always viewed poetry as spontaneous. If you try to edit them, they can go from good to shite really quickly, so I just used to roll them off and get a decent mark at school for them.

I prefer stories now, to them, but that goes without saying.

At 1/27/05 02:57 PM, Myst_Williams wrote:

At 1/27/05 02:55 PM, Coop83 wrote: I shall have to take notes for my own work because there will be massive scale battles in mine... eventually.

Ya, when am i getting that email Coop. Don't leave me dry of your writing. lol. : )

I have one more loose end to tie up before I can put the cut in for Chapter 3. I hope to have it all sorted by Saturday, so hang tight.

I've written about 1500 words so far this evening, which is more than I've done all week. I'm getting back on track.

Very obvious, but odd rhyme scheme that moves throughout each line and not just the ending. O_o

Anyway, another from me. Turned out weirder then usual. I dropped alot my classic/old english lit on this one. More me, more real life. Please comment. ^_^

Used or Defused?
Free Verse
By, K. Myst Williams

There was a time I was free;
I could be everything I wanted to be.
You remember me before all went hazy
And then all we knew shattered and cried.
White surrounding; I’m padded, I’m tied.
I tried; for you – it’s true.

I used to be the one on top.
Knowing my roles; knowing when to stop.
Feeling out my hand, respecting the flop;
Being that man, the cushion to fall to;
Now I’m drowning in the cushion I can’t even dive through.
Here’s a clue; I’m wrong – you’re strong.

Give me the hand of perpetual light,
So I can have a chance to again take flight.
Please, re-live it all; it must have felt right.
For once in my life I fully belong;
I want to take what we have and make it prolong.
Sing me a song; don’t go – make it so.

Hey Myst, Im working on that poem a bit here and there, just not enough time to really get it done, this weeked ill finish it up and post it.

At 1/27/05 08:03 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Used or Defused?

Sounds like sex, to me. Correct?

I'm now no longer Myst's favourite person on the BBS, as I'm going to delay the posting of Chapter 2 for a few more days until I'm satisfied with it. As soon as it is ready, there will be an email winging its way to you via email, so check your inbox daily, Myst.

Sorry about all this

Coop.