Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 1/13/05 04:42 PM, Coop83 wrote: That is going to be your main problem, the research. There are so many sources, that you should be alright, though.

Research isnt going to be to much of a problem. Thats what the internet is for plus I also have some basic knowledge from my history work on Northern Ireland.

Happy trawling.

thanks :-)

Capital! I think I'm going to enjoy what you have to show us, then.

At 1/13/05 04:48 PM, Coop83 wrote: Capital! I think I'm going to enjoy what you have to show us, then.

When I get started Ill post the firts bit.

Sarah played on the floor of her room, noticing the daylight coming in through her window growing dimmer. She knew her mother would soon come in and tell her to get ready for bed, as she always did. Time passed, and Sarah got anxious. Her mother was a regimented woman, and to stray from her internal schedule was a rarity in her house. Sarah rose from the floor, becoming frightened by the fact that the only sound she could hear was her own heartbeat. She made her way to the door of her room, pushing past the enormous stuffed panda her father had won her at the carnival that week. She whimpered with every step, her footsteps sounding like boulders on the floor in comparison with the silence that had gripped the house.

Sarah wandered out into the hall, and over to the top of the stairs. Her eyes grew wide as saw what had become of the front door.

It had been totally removed. Her house, the one safe place she had left in a world of caution and fear, was no longer her sanctuary. As long as the door remained open, her house merged with the angst-ridden suburbs of her neighbourhood. Evil was free to enter, and enter it had.

She didn't even notice the hand that creeped out of the closet, then pushed poor Sarah down the stairs.

Hmm, this work was dark, short and interesting.

Personally, i think works need to be longer, even for a short story. This kind of tale needs to be long enough for the flashlight to get passed to the story teller, who then has to work out how you switch it on and then has to shine it on their face.

I can see that this piece maybe needs more suspense, more description (Even if it's only to establish mood) and more time spent on it. I know this probably only took 10 minutes, but this isn't a proper story. More time spent will lead to a greater reward at the end.

At 1/13/05 05:06 PM, Coop83 wrote: Hmm, this work was dark, short and interesting.
More time spent will lead to a greater reward at the end.

Yes, I do tend to rush my works a little, and don't do many read-overs. I find that if I spend too much time tweaking and elongating the story, it streches it's life out and eventually dies. This one felt pretty good when I first thought it out, but I did end it way to fast. It might have been more interesting to have Sarah head outside in search of her parents. But I can also use this dark little intro as the lead-in for a much more sinister main plot for a longer piece.

heres my random story thinger

every day i come home looking for the meaning of life through old MASH reruns when one day i was sitting in a pile of stuffing i had pulled out of my neighbours couch, eating muslix right out of the box, and listening to the alan parsons project, when suddenly a giant gorilla came barging in the door to inquire as to whether he could have sexual intercourse with my dishwasher or not. instead of answering him, i began reciting some baseball trivia until he left in a confused state. i looked at the clock and relised i was going to be late for my break dancing battle with my pimp and forced lover, bubba. the next thing i remember was waking up in a ditch the next morning with 50 dollars in my pocket and dried semen on my face. i guess it was a little down payment since i had been late giving him the money for the skag herion i peddle at the local arena. all in all, i just hope im not diseased.

Quick thanks to Coop and Manic for really taking care of this place while i go through my exam slum. I have been trying to post as much as i can in all my regular posts, but i havn't alot of time to read everything i have been missing.

As soon as exams finish(end of this month) i will be back i norder, until then. Less frequent posts, but i have a little time now to read any new entries to the guild. So i might go over a few. : )

Thanks again you two.

P.S. Whatever happened to LordSkeletor? I miss the bugger.

At 1/13/05 04:53 PM, Manman_and_Boyboy wrote: Sarah played on the floor of her room, noticing the daylight

good but it lacked some things it was to straight foward maybe add some more feel to it by making more detail and stuff i liked it tho i give it a 7/10

At 1/13/05 02:58 PM, ImmortalDarkness wrote: LOL. We're making a nudey woman one just for the perverts and high marks!

But rember, to add boob jiggling, and a pussy easter egg, the more to do the bett for those, or else guys are going to get board after a good thirty seconds.

At 1/13/05 06:18 PM, newbman wrote:

At 1/13/05 02:58 PM, ImmortalDarkness wrote: LOL. We're making a nudey woman one just for the perverts and high marks!

But rember, to add boob jiggling, and a pussy easter egg, the more to do the bett for those, or else guys are going to get board after a good thirty seconds.

For a fellow AAHC member, anything. LOL

At 1/13/05 07:14 PM, DaSadGirl wrote: nnoo! i meant like if u gotta flash dat haznt been submitted to NewGrounds en u think it cud need some improvement, show it to me en i cud give u tips en ideas to make it better. do u get wut i mean?

Oooooooh!!!!! That is an offer I definetely can't refuse. I'll seek your help as soon as I need it, then! ;-)

At 1/13/05 07:36 PM, ImmortalDarkness wrote: For a fellow AAHC member, anything. LOL

yeah! I'm going to like it when it come out.

Hello Writer's Guild :D

Im working on a game, which needs a story. Which I suck at writing.

The game works like this:
You, the hero, are a knight which has to go to a tower, and pass through traps and enemies to advance through floors, untill you get to the top. Then, you fight the "bad guy".

The game is very common, and an original story would be greatly appreciated.

If you think of something, please e-mail me at ignaciozs [at] hotmail [dot] com.

BOREDOM (2? did I write another one called boredom? eh I dunno ne way...)
boredom has completely consumed me
I have become a creature of boredom
just a strange disfigured creature with legs and arms
becoming tired even after 9 hours of sleep
I become unamused by things very quickly
I leave things incomple....................

not as good as my other ones in my opinion, just felt like writing more random thoughts.

okay this, I guess, might be a little bit like THX1138 directed by George Lucas, but oddly enough, seeing as Iam a huge Star Wars fan, have never seen it, so I wouldnt know, I just came up with it the other day in science, and this is a small part of a chapter.

The C089 Chronicles: The Revoluting (current working title, I need suggestions)
C089 woke up just as all the other clones did that day at 5:00 am. C089 was a garbage clone, he was designed just for driving a garbage truck, not one of the jobs that was looked up to by other clones but he had no choice. On April 9, 2089 (hence the name C089) C089 was created by the machine that the humans called G.O.D. 2 which was supposed to stand for something but the clones weren't supposed to think about it, the only things the clones were allowed to do was their job, and whatever they had to do to stay alive (such as eating and sleeping) they were not allowed to interact with the other clones socially or physically, and no clone even thought about looking at a human. C089 was different though, he disliked his job, he thought as an individual, and he was very artistic. C089 liked to draw and write, sketches that he had done were posted in his small cell that he lived in, he doesnt know who the paper came from. Every day a plate of food would come for each meal of the day, obviously one of the humans was generous enough to send down paper and pencils, along with the food of course. a cell guard was one of the only jobs available for humans, unless they wanted to do a clones job, which was rarely heard of.

C089 got out of his bed and opened the door to his cell leading to the garbage truck parking lot, he got in his truck with the words "GT7" for garbage truck number 7, he waited for his associate, who he did not know the name of, to hop on the back of the truck so they could leave. C089 pused multiple buttons on the trucks control pannel engaging the thrusters on the back, the clone on the back of the truck strapped himself in the small seat attatched on the rear of the truck and gave C089 the thumbs up symbol. C089 moved the throttle up slowly and the truck took off into the freeway tube leading from the clone's city down to EARTH24 where the humans lived.

okay tell me what you think. thx
-G.C.

whoops sorry I fucked up on the title
The C089 Chronicles: The Revolution (current working title)

At 1/14/05 12:19 AM, G-MAN490 wrote: okay this, I guess, might be a little bit like THX1138 directed by George Lucas, but oddly enough, seeing as Iam a huge Star Wars fan, have never seen it, so I wouldnt know, I just came up with it the other day in science, and this is a small part of a chapter.

No, it sounds a lot more like 'I, Robot' the amazing novel by Isaac Asimov. Forget the film, because the book is definately better.

Robot starts to think independantly, instead of doing what it's programmed to do. Eventually, it ends up killing, becoming exactly like a human. AI works like this, as would clones, because they have real intelligence and can probably learn quicker.

Let me run one of my old premises for a story I was thinking about doing by you guys. Let me know what you think.

Picture a thriving metropolis. There is no homeless, no crime, no evil. Every inhabitant has a purpose and a means to give back to the community. Everyone is happy. But when a doctor loses his wife in an "accident," he begins to question the motives of the city officals all around him. In his search for answers to his wife's mysterious death, he must become a lone criminal, fighting against a peacefulness that we strived for centuries to achieve.

I always wanted to write a story about a kind of anti-hero, and this seemed like a decent start.

Interesting. New eden has arrived. they you try to bring it crashing down around our heads.

I really don't know how it would be possible, but hey, give it a shot.

A quick poem i wrote up the other day during class. It is unedited... so changes may be made, someday.

Perfect
An Italian Sonnet
By, K. Myst Williams

A moment in time, with you, is true bliss;
But for all those kind moments stored away,
There is twice the pain that goes without say.
The times of tears that we won’t reminisce;
I long to hold you and touch a soft kiss.
Envisioning your face as I do lay;
Ignoring the hurt, all I can display –
Is true, true love and how dear I do miss;
Shall forever be the imperfections –
Of our life; each other – far but touch too.
I long for every rush of affection,
But tears do stream; it grows too much to do.
I can not bend around it – Perfection.
I am not perfect, but neither are you.

At 1/14/05 06:41 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: A quick poem i wrote up the other day during class. It is unedited... so changes may be made, someday.

But nonetheless it is an amazing piece of work, as are your other poems!

Something I thought up at work tonight:

Kyle crashed into the wall with terrifying speed, and heard a crack inside his torso. He couldn't feel anything at the moment, as his already bruised body was numb from the assult. The monster staggered towards him, raising it's hand upwards and bringing it down across Kyle's face. Blood rushed to the surface of his skin, and Kyle once again felt pain. The beast must have hit an area not before struck that day. Kyle knew only contempt for the creature, and wished with every fibre of his being that he had the strength to stand up to it.

The beast grinned and, groggily, stepped back to admire it's handiwork. It continualy taunted Kyle, injuring him not only physically, but mentally as well. The wounds in his flesh would heal, but the scar tissue in his mind would never go away. To much damage had already been done.

There was a great crash as the door to the room flew open. Kyle was too dizzy and concussed to see who was fool enough to stand up to the monster. All he sensed was blurred, frantic movement, and the shouting of many people. Then darkness enveloped Kyle as he slipped into unconsciousness.

After Kyle awake in the hospital, he was told the details of what transpired. The police, recieving a tip about what was going on, responded and broke into the house.

After resisting arrest and assulting the officers, the captain of the police force drew his firearm and shot Kyle's father in the heart, killing him instantly.

i'm going to join, i have had thousands of ideas over my lifespan, not all limited to flash, but sadly lacked the abilities to act them out (or at least the good ones) thus theese ideas became lost but now that i have found this guild i hope to make some of these fantasys become reality

At 1/15/05 07:19 AM, Ho-Musabi wrote: i'm going to join, i have had thousands of ideas over my lifespan, not all limited to flash, but sadly lacked the abilities to act them out (or at least the good ones) thus theese ideas became lost but now that i have found this guild i hope to make some of these fantasys become reality

Welcome. Post some ideas and myself any our many members will review, critique and advise you with what you shuold be doing.

At 1/15/05 07:24 AM, Coop83 wrote:

At 1/15/05 07:19 AM, Ho-Musabi wrote: i'm going to join, i have had thousands of ideas over my lifespan, not all limited to flash, but sadly lacked the abilities to act them out (or at least the good ones) thus theese ideas became lost but now that i have found this guild i hope to make some of these fantasys become reality

Welcome. Post some ideas and myself any our many members will review, critique and advise you with what you shuold be doing.

well... i'll run an idea by u... a charecter so evil, so vile, that people watch the flash to se if he will ripped limb by limb, and the thing is, the charecter likes being evil and having people hate him, of course we are talking intnse violence

At 1/15/05 02:46 AM, -Manman- wrote: Something I thought up at work tonight:

I like this piece, even in its short length. It had a good aura and feel to it. And it's overall read wasn't too heavy, because of its length it shouldnt be. (Plus, i like the characters name... you can only guess what the K in K. Myst Williams means.) Some of the wordeing i wasn't to fond of... to show you an example of what i mean, look below in your first paragraph and find my [ ]'s.

Kyle crashed into the wall with terrifying speed, and heard a crack inside his torso. He couldn't feel anything at the[that] moment, as his already bruised body was numb from the assult....

Certain picky small things like saying 'that' instead of 'the' can add more strength to your sentences and encapture the reader a little bit more, but i am only being picky.

After resisting arrest and assulting the officers, the captain of the police force drew his firearm and shot Kyle's father in the heart, killing him instantly.

I really loved the ending, it reminded me of a poem i once read about child abuse. Similar story, but the poem was in verse.

Great work, i enjoyed the read. You have some obvious talents.

Let's not get out of hand with this one, but here it is anyway. Try and be mature about it boys. lol.

July
Free Verse
By, K. Myst Williams

You struggle as another person
Feeling the fire in your chest
You yearn for an obsession
Desire at its best
Yet adrenaline red-lights your rest
Wind inside, a forced collapsing sigh
Desire on high

A subtle touch of soft red lips
A comfortable hand moving down your hips
A curve, a thigh
Lust at its best
A movement to succeed your highest tests
Heat inside, an exhale of romantic breath
Lust or meth

For a moment you lack all sense
Union and climax makes you grow tense
Losing hold, building suspense
Pleasure at its best
Beating in their chest
Deep inside, a choke, a cry
Pleasure in July

Make it worth something.

I am a flash animator. I was thinking about animating a poem about a hawk,a few weeks ago. I's gladly animate some poems or stories. I won't be free for about 6 weeks due to work for clients, but after then i will happily do some animating!

At 1/15/05 09:51 AM, Myst_Williams wrote:

At 1/15/05 02:46 AM, -Manman- wrote: Something I thought up at work tonight:

I really loved the ending, it reminded me of a poem i once read about child abuse. Similar story, but the poem was in verse.

I was kind of worried, because I felt the abusive father/monster symbol might have been driven into the ground in the past few years, as more of that kind of thing comes to light in today's society.

Great work, i enjoyed the read. You have some obvious talents.

Thanks for the props man. I'm really getting a good feeling about this crew.