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At 11/29/05 07:34 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Alot of GOOD poetry... heh... okay... maybe not... but experimental poetry doesnt have to be good.

Haha, I was going to say "Alot of good poetry" but I then got the idea of making this little competition to make the General forum section more attractive. ;-)

At 11/29/05 07:45 PM, Andersson wrote: Haha, I was going to say "Alot of good poetry" but I then got the idea of making this little competition to make the General forum section more attractive. ;-)

Ya, its an awesome idea. I already submitted. ; )

At 11/29/05 07:49 PM, Myst_Williams wrote:

At 11/29/05 07:45 PM, Andersson wrote: Haha, I was going to say "Alot of good poetry" but I then got the idea of making this little competition to make the General forum section more attractive. ;-)

Ya, its an awesome idea. I already submitted. ; )

And I'm a judge in bad need of $ ;)

At 11/28/05 05:27 PM, Redder44 wrote: I was here a long time ago and asked for reviews on a chapter in my story.After that I got banned for a until a little wile ago.Anyways,I want more reviews on the rest of the chapters.I made where I was going to put all the stories I write.Here's the link-

http://www.freewebs.../redder212/index.htm

Did anybody read this?

If I could get a guy who draws very well and knew a little bit about flash I think I'd come here for an idea of some sort, but no guy, so no idea. I don't know why I'm posting this, but I feel like it.

So be perpared for me to ask for a script of some sort.

ok i havent bothered to read any of the pages of this thread ( seeing theres alot )

but im a flash animator and ive been practicing for a few months and im ready to start my first actual project, so i need a good idea please

im hoping for a comedy or an action idea, it shudnt be too long, im fine with shorts or one-liners but just not too long, short is fine, ill go for anything that i think is funny or interesting, please no nudity or sexual stuff in the script, some language is fine, but i dont want it too much, violence i approve, please and thank you

I'm back, for a little while. I read back a couple of pages and TNT, that stuff is HOT.

Did I miss anything monumental and if so, please tell me about it!
(Sorry for the lack of explanation or meaning.)

At 11/30/05 12:10 AM, Scribbler wrote: I'm back, for a little while. I read back a couple of pages and TNT, that stuff is HOT.

Did I miss anything monumental and if so, please tell me about it!
(Sorry for the lack of explanation or meaning.)

not that I know of, though we have had a surge of new members of late...

That's great. More people for me to scold! (I kid.) ^.^

Good to see you again Scribbler. I ain't sure if you know who I am though... =S

Ah well, you'll probably learn to know me sooner or later. ;-)

By the way, if anyone was intrested to judge or submit to the competition (Read my previous post at the top of the page) then you are more than welcome to do so. =)

Haha, I know who you are.

No worries, I don't post very often but I read a lot. So I know who a lot of people are without them knowing it. I just feel that it is somewhat unnecessary to post unless I really need to. Other than that, I saw your post in the "General" thread about the poetry contest.

Good luck to everybody!

Is the collab still going? Cause its been quite a while since anythings been posted. Have we all given up on it?

And if so are we going to start another one so Anderson and Dirty Syko can get involved with it as they requested?

Its myst's turn and he is busy with end of term stuff... quite honestly if we took a break for another two weeks I wouldn't mind all that much. I'm swamped literally.

At 12/1/05 12:05 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Its myst's turn and he is busy with end of term stuff... quite honestly if we took a break for another two weeks I wouldn't mind all that much. I'm swamped literally.

Ahhh I see. Fair enough. If people don't have time for it then I suggets we do take a break and come back to it in the new year or soemthing.

At 12/1/05 12:08 PM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote:

At 12/1/05 12:05 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Its myst's turn and he is busy with end of term stuff... quite honestly if we took a break for another two weeks I wouldn't mind all that much. I'm swamped literally.

Ahhh I see. Fair enough. If people don't have time for it then I suggets we do take a break and come back to it in the new year or soemthing.

Just whenever Myst is ready I guess... I enjoy doing it, but finals take precedence.

Oh, and thanks for saving that thread of mine in the general...

At 12/1/05 12:11 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Oh, and thanks for saving that thread of mine in the general...

Don't mention it mate. It's Least I could do :P It's a good idea but sadly the majoirty of general goers wouldn't know originality if it walked up to them wearing a bright neon pink sign with the words " I'm originality" written on it.

At 12/1/05 12:27 PM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote:

At 12/1/05 12:11 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Oh, and thanks for saving that thread of mine in the general...

Don't mention it mate. It's Least I could do :P It's a good idea but sadly the majoirty of general goers wouldn't know originality if it walked up to them wearing a bright neon pink sign with the words " I'm originality" written on it.

Its true unfortunatly. I try to make the general a little bit more interesting and versatile, I fail sometimes, but its worth the effort.

A bit of fun writing opportunity in the general for those who havn't seen it yet

And I add to the rampage...

At 12/2/05 01:11 AM, Scribbler wrote: And I add to the rampage...

that was pretty cool

At 12/2/05 01:11 AM, Scribbler wrote: And I add to the rampage...

nice...

If it is at all possible, I'd like some feedback in regard to this piece. They are just senseless ramblings, but I want to see what people feel about it.

Deep Thoughts with Sweez
I believe in love. I believe in the overwhelming feeling of serenity that comes with it, as well as the fantastic amounts of pain. It is not something to be dealt with lightly. Hearts are broken, some beyond repair, and others are in flight. The sad part of it all is that often times only the heartbreak is left in one's mind, not the joyous memories.

There is not a single soul in this world that does not enjoy being in love. Though some attempt to deny, everyone longs to hear those three words directed toward them. And when you are in love, everything seems different. The world is completely changed somehow. The days seem shorter, they do not drone on in a miserable attempt to accomplish something. The sun seems brighter, several more stars miraculously appear in the night sky, and a simple flower holds so much more meaning. Somehow everything in the surrounding area is illuminated. Things that were overlooked completely just a month before, before you fell into this almost purgatory like state, caught between heaven and hell, but heading full force toward that glorious kingdom, are noticable. The soul feels unbreakable, unstartled, and everything is perfect.

And then on to the dark ages...

Somehow, somewhere, in the midst of this incredible emotional dimension, everthing collapses. Light becomes scarce, at times nonexistant. The soul that you thought was unbreakable for so long is shattered, and in it's fall, the heart follows. Each piece of the soul that drops and encounters the heart plunges it's way inside, cutting through it like a broken shard of glass, leaving it dripping in bloody tears, overcome by a sensation and a desire for finality, for death. And you plunge toward hell, reaching up toward the shining gates to which you were so close.

And then you do it all over again.

These feelings are inevitable. Entering the game of love, you must be aware of the pains to which you are exposing yourself. But, the feeling always seems to disappear eventually and then you do it all over again.

I believe in love. I believe that I am in love. And I believe that one day I will feel the heartache that comes with love. Until then, however, I will continue to reach for those desirable gates, and who knows? Maybe one day I'll reach them.

These are my 1am ramblings. Enjoy.

I try...

Hey, guys when you get a chance, read that passage by NC_Sweez... she's a friend of mine, and I'm trying to convince her she is a good writer...

I read it and due to the circumstances and current time, I am unable to fully review it. Perhaps tomorrow. It is very well worded and the overall flow is great.

Hey all! I've come back to post my work here, if that is ok. How has everyone been?

At 12/3/05 02:40 AM, Xiecdo wrote: Hey all! I've come back to post my work here, if that is ok.

Of course it's OK. Welcome back

At 12/2/05 11:43 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Hey, guys when you get a chance, read that passage by NC_Sweez... she's a friend of mine, and I'm trying to convince her she is a good writer...

Well, doesn't look like I have anything better to do at the moment.
Seriously, the highlight of my day is going to be when I format my hard drive tonight.

So, my comments on the piece:
Wasn't too bad overall. Good choice of wording, generally good grammar, a few nice metaphors in there, and a decent enough premise.
It is quite a ramble though, the whole thing reads more like an embellished blog than a piece of serious writing. It's very poetic in it's essence, and perhaps would have been better as such.
As for the whole love theme, it isn't really anything that hasn't been reiterated in some similar form before, as a result it didn't grab my attention much.

I don't think I can really judge your writing much on this piece alone, it looks like you have the potential, and a good piece of prose could come out really well if you handle it correctly. Otherwise try some poetry, although you'll have to ask someone else for comment on that (it's really not my cup of tea at all).

Oh, and if these comments seem a bit critical then don't worry - they always are here. It's always better to know your weaknesses so that you can work on them, and while you might not get showered with eternal praise while posting here, your writing will improve.

I have exams this week. Will be back next weekend....

... for all those wondering where I dissappeared to.

I really need to start getting back onto the wagon...

I want some opinions on soemthign I've started to write. Kind of like a fucked up version of Snow white and the seven dwarves. Not completed but I'm kind of interetsed in what people think of what I've got so far so I can go back and edit before I continue.

A Grim Fairytale

The garden was bathed in the morning light as the sounds of the dawn chorus washed over the land with the sweet serenity that only the song of a bird can offer. The sky was cloudless, the sun shone bright and a beautiful day lay ahead for all those that wished to enjoy it.
The rose bush stood at the edge of the garden next to the wall. Its petals, moistened by the morning dew, glistened in the sunlight. Its stems had been meticulously pruned so not a single thorn could be found on any of the flowers. The roses were red. As red as blood, as red as the sky at dusk and as red as the lips of the gardener.
The other flowers were nothing compared to the roses. The snapdragons appeared to have lost their bite, the blue bells hung their heads in sorrow and the sunflowers no longer shone. But the roses, oh the roses, they showed compassion, love, tenderness, adoration and attention to the detail. No roses existed quite like these.
The gardener walked down the cobbled path and studied the other flowers. She sniffed indignantly at them as though they were no longer worth the trouble. Her eyes wandered towards her prize flowers. She absorbed the beauty of the flowers as she glided towards her children.
She laid her hand on the petal of a rose. Her skin was as white a snow and as soft as the petal she currently held. Her fingers rubbed off the morning dew and lowered her head to breathe in the sweet smells of the flower. She pressed her ruby red lips against the petal and kissed them gently. She lifted her head and a gentle smile formed on her face. She ran her hands through her jet black hair that acted as contrast with her skin. There was only one word to describe the gardener, beautiful.
She moved with grace dignity and poise that most would believe was not achievable by a mere human. But then the gardener wasn’t just a normal person. No normal person could transfer their beauty to flowers like she has. No one can tend flowers way the gardener had tended the roses.
The garden was orderly, precise and neat. The forest that lay on the other side of the wall was nothing like the garden. The trunks of the trees were twisted and gnarled. They were ugly. It was strange that such a beautiful woman as the gardener would choose to make her home and place her garden in such an ugly place. But the ugliness of the forest and its inhabitants were a complete contrast to everything that was found on the other side of the wall. It made everything look so much more beautiful.
The dwarves watched the gardener as she tended the flowers all around her. They stared, transfixed by the swaying of her hips. Every day they came and watched as she tended the roses. Every day they sat in the trees and became transfixed by her grace and beauty.
One dwarf closed his good eye and began to imagine what it would feel like to be underneath those snake like hips. His scarred face twisted into a smile as he felt his groin becoming inflamed and hardening.
He opened his eye and looked towards his six companions and nodded to them. Slowly, one by one they climbed down the tree they had been using as a means to gaze lustfully at the gardener.
The leader glanced at the garden and saw the gardener retreat back into her cottage. He grinned. Today was the day that he and his companions would be able to taste the sweets delights that the gardener had to offer.
He slid down the tree and followed his brothers into the garden. The beauty of the roses was lost on them as they walked down the cobbled path to the window. The first of the dwarves leant on the window sill and looked into the cottage.
Before his eyes he saw the gardener standing in front of a mirror on the wall. She ran a brush through her thick lack hair as she spoke.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?”
Her voice rang out in a sweet soprano that reverberated around the room and out towards the dwarves as they stared at her through the window.
She stopped brushing her hair and appraised herself in the mirror and sighed. She grasped the buttons back of her dress and began to undo them. Slowly they became undone and then the dress dropped to the floor revealing the naked beauty that had lain hidden underneath her dress.